16 June 2006

Father's Day - A Tale Never Told

Most of the time you would see me cracking jokes in my blog but today its a little bit different, today I wanna blog as a father and at the same time as a son. I have been a father for 4 years, of coz there is of coz lotsa ups and downs within this 4 years, I still remember very clearly that during my first year as a father ... I actually do not know what I should do or how to be a father.

I mean its like, "Hey! Ima Dad now! erm ... but what kinda stuffs should I do as a father huh?" What is the adjustment I should make in order for me to be a father to my son? Am I totally ready for this?

I later found out that, you can never be ready to be a father .... there isnt a book in this entire farking sick world that tells you how to be a father and after a while of looking for such answer I gave up.

4 years later I found my answer .... to be a father you just hafta love your child, just be a father. Of course sacrifices hafta be made, you dont get to go out for much mamak sessions, very little karaoke parties, cut down on mahjong tiles and many many more. With all the time saved from all those *extra-curriculum activites* you spend it with your child, teach him, guide him, shape him, mould him so he would grow up to be a healthy person both physically and mentally.

Young parents nowadays are abit different in thinking, I know quite a few couple who would just leave their kid with the nanny for most of the weekdays and will only bring the kid back on weekends. Their excuse? No time la! troublesome la! with the baby around I cant go out with my friends, I got shopping to do, aiyah! I hafta work so that i would be able to pay the nanny. Those are the regular excuses that i have been getting from those parents only met their kid once a week. I really do not think such a people should be call father or mother, the correct name for them would be Birth Giver, for they only know how to give birth to a child but they do not know that to be a proper parents.

Such peoples thought the job of a father would only be limited to provide for the child financially and the nanny would take care of the rest, if only life were that easy. Later when the kid screw up then they will blame the kid for his bad behaviour but have they ever ask themself "What had i teached him all these while? Where did he learnt all these bad behaviours from? No one ever told him that what he did was wrong? Where am I all these while?"

4 years ago I was in holland with my late boss together with his youngest son attending to a global seminar, he wanted to groom his youngest son and expose him to the business enviroment so that one day he could take over his position. Then come one evening he saw something in the rubbish bin in his hotel room, it was a brand new Calvin Klien underwear his son just opened this morning. That night he had an arguement with his son and he dragged me out for a drink, that is when he told me this "I think I m quite a succesful businessman, but I am a terrible father. "

If given the choice, what would you choose?

Anyone could celebrate father's day BUT do you truly deserves it? That is entirely a different question.

On the other hand, do you noticed how commercialised father's day is nowadays? There is this Radio advertisement that were presented by a lady in her half bake canto telling you that you should buy your oldman a massage chair if you wanna show to him that you are a fillial son.

What a bunch of crap! Seriously dude! If you think father's day is the only day you care about your oldman then pulez drop dead now and spare us the oxygen. I seriously think this mother's day, father's day celebration is solely meant to boost sales nationwide. Suddenly everyone bcome so fillial ledi, everyone buying gifts for their oldman and bringing him out to expensive restaurant for dinner. Why suddenly so nice ledi one ar? or maybe bcoz they wanna show off to their neighbours/relatives how rich they are?

If you dint know yet, you are allowed to tell your dad how much you love him every single day and not only on father's day ok? so, dont be so fake and act all goody goody boy when on a regular day you dont even remember your oldman is still alive!

How Am I gonna celebrate father's day? I prolly would just stay at home and resume my daily life as usual, I dont hafta do anything extraordinary for my oldman just because its father's day .... I am doing that every single day of my life!

Before I end this boring post of mine, I would like to share with you all a joke that durex sent me last year :

A Father's Day message brought to you by the award winning condom in USA - DUREX! :

To all those who used or uses our competitor's products all these while, HAPPY FATHER's DAY !!!! "

For full story click HERE

Happy Father's Day to all blogging DADs and to Fathers all over the world.



  1. Anonymous3:00 am

    tenkiu Wingz! this is one of the best posts eva from u! i be so touched!

  2. Happy Father's Day to u!!

  3. Anonymous8:43 am

    fuiyoh! today so serious. Happy Fathers Day.

  4. happy father's day to you Wingz!

  5. happy father day daddy....

  6. Anonymous9:51 am

    Ah Tui,

    Looking after your kids 24 hrs a day do not qualified one as a complete, pefect or 'real' father.
    Spending quality time( need not be 24 hrs) with them, observing thier behaviour and noticing any special(good or bad) characteristics will help one in understanding your child.

    What is most important is what the kid wants. If he is the scary type don force him to climb over the fence. If he doesn't wanna be a doctor don send him to medical skool. If he doesn't wanna be a global businessman don force him, he will land up in the dust bin.

    You may had given him the best enviroment but to him that may not be the correct enviroment! What you give he may not like it.

    Most important thing in life is what he wants and not what you want him to be. And most kids dunno what they want and here real parenting skills come in. Remember only 15% of graduate work what they are trained/learned while in skool(university)

    Sometimes kid will listen to one of the parents more than the other.

    Sincerely hope this help.
    My son got a job liao in Gerogia

  7. Damn, I love the post but the comment above very potong stim, man. What is Mr. Sincerely hope this help.
    My son got a job liao in Gerogia

    trying to assert ha?

    WTH is Ah Tui?

  8. Wingz, your this post from the voices in your heart rite?

    Happy Father's Day

  9. Anonymous2:29 pm

    happi father's day to all the fathers who read this blog..n esp to u , wingz....

  10. Anonymous3:03 pm

    I think tat guy said is correct.
    I spend quality time with my son and not quantity time.

  11. Anonymous3:27 pm

    WTF, I share exactly the same thought with you man!

    I'll never hand my kids (if got any lah) to the nanny. Kids need love from their parents, all the time not only weekends!

    "How Am I gonna celebrate father's day? I prolly would just stay at home and resume my daily life as usual..."

    Come on lah, admit it. I know you sure want your lil devil to bring you to expensive restaurant wan, it's just he is too young only. Kekek...

    Happy father's day!

  12. Anonymous5:18 pm

    Still got us right ;) Happy Father's Day (post dated 8 hours from now).

  13. fathers' day may be commercialized, but in truth, many are grateful for it. many do not take time or muster enough guts to tell the man of the house how much he means to them.

    it is not just everyday that you sit down and spend time thinking about all that your dad has done, and pen it in a card, letter, note, or sms. sadly, we hardly ever do find time to sit down and think.

    money-making machine or not, it's not the dosh that makes the day. it's the thoughts expressed, and in due time too.

  14. Not boring at all. Least i feel that u managed to say what i wanted to say. It's so commercialised!

    me gonna resume tomorrow like a normal day too. If my dad reads this, then Happy Father's Day, dad. Else... it'll be just another day. Love is deep inside.

  15. Anonymous9:14 pm

    happy father day! I share your view that those who send their kids to nanny to baby 'shit' do not qualify to be called parents!

  16. Anonymous12:12 am

    Happy father's day Latuk Wingz !!

  17. Anonymous12:37 am

    To the two anons who insisted on quality time and not quantity time -

    Dudes, are you both guilty? You know kids can't measure quality and quantity. They only know quaNtity. Zig Ziglar said so in his book 'Bringing up positive children in a negative world'. So all those parents who still insist they are spending quality time - you are all trying to fill your own guilt only. Kids only want time - LOTs of them. Don't fool yourselves and trying to fool others with your preaching of quality time lah.

    Signed : Another anon. ball-less dad but much righteous.


    (heh, enjoying making you feel old)

  19. Happy Father's Day Wingz!
    have a wonderful time with your family

  20. I know I don't have much time to spend with my kid and thats why I stopped at 1...hence, devoting whatever precious quality time when possible.
    To those of you who breed like rabbits, stop complaining about not having enough time with your kids! You can't be doting on them 24/7.
    sometimes, you must allow them room to fall and pick themselves up again. That's their learning curve!
    The other reason why I stopped at 1 kid is I want quality time to myself too. Hey! I got a life and I want to live it to the fullest....not being bogged down by having so many kids to put thru' college etc. etc.

  21. Anonymous2:46 am

    Well sad, third anon!

  22. Anonymous3:45 am

    Happy Father's Day...Wingz. I have to refrain myself from commenting on people who think they know or have a formula on how to be a good parent for ANYONE in ANY environment.

    Hmmm...anyone know where is Gerogia??

  23. gary : diu! u sure this is the best post eva??!!! it looks like rantings to me lol

    Crazygrrl: thanks

    ahpek : happy father's day to u too!

    wuching : tenkiu!

    pisang : thanks

    anon : that is just excuses u made for yourself not to be with your kid as much as you "can" kid are a white piece of paper when they are born into this world, what they turn out to be in the future depended on what you wrote on that piece of white paper along the years. Have you written anything on the paper yet? How much have you wrote?

    5xmom : no ler not potong stim ler .. he as a father have his rights to voice his opinion also geh ...

    dreamie : no .. actually i copy n paste from somewhere whose life is 100% same as mine wan LOL!!

    eve : tenkiuu

    anon2 : quality n not quantity? that is just the excuses you gave urself only ler!

    bryan : lil devil bring my to expensive dinner with my own money?? i'll pass lol

    gbyeow : thanks man

    liss : in short .. you are saying that father's day is a day for bad peeple to redeem themself for treating their father like shit the whole year? lol!

    foodcrazee : thanks

    kampungkai : YEAA!!! love is deep inside wan man!!! I totally agree!!

    anon3 : thank you for your opinion!

    ace : tenkiu

    anon4 : u r so right! kids cant tell the diff between qualit n quantity! who are they kidding huh? lol your da man!

    5xmom : happe fader's day to your atm too!

    5chanyoke : happy father's day to u

    sun,moon&star : tenkiu

    cocka : eh i told u said u got more than 1 kid? neh the outside one leh LOL!

    TUX : Tux dun so bad make fun of ppl ler ... Gerogia is in the upper part of northern Pakistan kot? hehe juz kidding

  24. Everyone has their own way to raise their kids. 'To be' or 'not to be' is very much depends on the child's attitude and the environment (whether it's condusive or not & etc.). No matter what, please do not expect your kids to grow up, act and behave the exact same way as you do. He/She is an individual who has his/her own thoughts and opinions. And please don't forget that kids won't learn and grow if they have never fall before. Last but not least, Happy Father's Day to wingz and all the dads out there! :)

  25. Nice. Sweet. Wingz must be one of those sugar hoarders the gomen is after. Happy Daddy O day to sweet daddies like u!

  26. Happy father's day to you and your father and grandfather too! ;-) LOL!


  28. Anonymous11:55 pm

    aiks. happy papa day! i din know you father la... tot you still young hip and happening ;P and bachelor.

  29. Wingz, I had been a father for the last 24 years. My children sent me wishes and that's the gift I treasured. But, they should had sent me cigar...hehehehe

  30. Fulamak. Oi uncle, I called home. I said: Happy Father's day to my dad. then I asked.. what are you doing..?
    He said: I am doing bussiness...Thank you thank you... im busy...


    *he didnt wanna gimme a chance to ask for $$$*



    Happy Father's Day!

  31. Walan, tis Father's Day post aso got so many comment ard..And aso lots of anon posting ar..

    I din celeb tis 2 occasion with my parents :P Just be normal la. Y mus only bring them out for good stuff on this day. Other day, jus ask the 'DIY'??

    *Must save up tis post for Lil Devil to read when he getting older*

  32. Anonymous9:44 am

    Are you sure you are a father 4 years ago. Not three years meh? Or being a hubby 4 years ago?

    Anyway, happy father's day.

  33. loved the post :)

    You're right, there is really no real guidelines on how to be great parents. You just gotta do the best you can and when your children shows you their gratitude and appreciation, then you know, it's the right kind of loving.
    Being a parent, it's a tough job though i'm not one but from the sacrifices i saw my parents made, there is really no other sacrifices in this world that is greater than the ones parents made for their children.
    Hope it's not too late but
    HAppy Father's Day anyway :)


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