1 June 2006

Drive Thru ATM Machines

There is this bank that is hiring Rojaks n its crews to come out with a set of guidelines on how to use this new facilities they are going to introduce at the end of this year. Of coz since this is a top secret project and we dunwan any other banks to launch before we do so we are not gonna announce the name of the bank which hired us. So stop asking ledi!

Anyway, we (me n the geng) interbiuED close to 5000 people both males, females, ahkuas and shamales and after 9 months of hard work we finally came out with a set of policy that is fair for all, including ahkuas and shemale also! Totally no discrimination at all!

WE concluded that 2 sets of manual are needed, one for males and one for females as for shemales and ahkuas, its up to them to decide which set is best for them.

Here are the proper way showing you how to properly utilise the Drive Thru Atm Machines, without leaving your car.


For males, the procedure is kinda simple .. just a 7 steps procedures and here izzit.

MALE PROCEDURE:

  • 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
  • 2 Wind down your car window.
  • 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
  • 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
  • 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
  • 6. Wind window up.
  • 7. Drive off.

For females, their procedure is kinda bit more complicated, please follow this procedure step by step to avoid any complication while using the Drive Thru ATM machine.


FEMALE PROCEDURE:
  • 1 . Drive up to cash machine.
  • 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
  • 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
  • 4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
  • 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
  • 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
  • 8. Insert card.
  • 9. Re-insert card the right way.
  • 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
  • 11. Enter PIN.
  • 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
  • 13. Enter amount of cash required.
  • 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
  • 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
  • 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
  • 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
  • 18. Re-check makeup.
  • 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
  • 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
  • 21. Retrieve card.
  • 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
  • 23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.
  • 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
  • 25. Redial person on cell phone.
  • 26. Drive for 2 to 3 Kms.
  • 27. Release Parking Brake.
I hope you enjoyed using our Drive Thru ATM services, Please have a pleasant day ahead. Tenkiu

A big tenkiu to my regular porn pusher Cocka for this piece of wonderfool article.
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16 comments:

  1. Wuahahaha..male procedure=cepat dan cekap, female procedure= lembab dan lembik !! LOL

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  2. no wonder peepel say women car very short life...

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  3. i could just so see my mom doing all those while i was reading it... huahahaha....

    *and also some of my friends*

    its so true.... those small small stuff too...

    i wont be doing such a long list le but... when i first drive, i did forgotten to release the hand brake completely for atleast an KM... y today the car feel so heavy ar?? lol...

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  4. Step #27 is classic! ROFLAMO...

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  5. Then ur Dirve Thru ATM sure kena ban by ladies lo..Coz dam 9 mafan, need 27 step wo..But sure vy good for guys. Wen implement it? I wan be da 1st to proof guys only take 3steps

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  6. hahahahaa... titoki read oredi sure fark 9 u wan!

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  7. If i ever bump into this type of women, I'll honk at her step no. 14.

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  8. So mahfun. Better get one 'atm' n keep at home like one blogger.

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  9. there shall be a lane for male & a lane for females.

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  10. no wonder my wife never bother to use atm, always get me to do it

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  11. Wingz,

    You have missed one step in the male procedure!

    1. Wait for the woman customer in front for 20 minutes!

    2. Drive up to the cash machine.

    3. ...

    ROTFLMAO!

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  12. aceone : wuah i dint say female is lembab n lambat horrr

    pisang : women car very short life? sure anot ?

    Christal : hahaha very the true lehh??!! feng sui master bruff u 10 yrs 8 yrs but rojaks no bruff u wan!

    bryan : haha u dun bruff us la .. u also always dint release your handbrake one right anot? lol

    ahpek : Titoki tarak read my blog wan geh so no worries!

    hijackqueen : wei the last i heard u also woman wor!

    nyonya : har ... the ATM at home got make "teet - teet" kinda sound anot when u press him? kakakaka

    lmf : then u gonna be in which lane ar ?

    wuching : oh!! looks like u r the ATM at home! you must make TeeT TeeT sound when your wife press u ok? lol

    wucanrou : no nid liow ... we gonna make 2 lanes .. 1 for female n 1 for male lol

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  13. The 'atm' model I want no need to press 'teet teet' - it uses voice recognition and act on command.

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  14. this is seriously funny...realised that i am guilty of doing some steps in the list when i'm driving through mcdonald's...

    hahahhahaha


    rock on!

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  15. lucky now can take cash only after take card.so gals can take less few steps

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