30 April 2006

Forum Down! Prolly kena hacked! Stay tune for updates!

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MCH! forum down 9 jor! prolly kena hacked .... stay tune for updates ok? trying to get in touch with the web hosters now

29 April 2006

Sexual Gameshow Gone Very Wrong

A Game host pick up couples on the street and asked them very intimate kinda questions... 1st they put a headphone over your gf's/wife's ears then they will proceed to ask you several questions, after which they will ask your other half the same questions and compares the answer ....

its goes something lidis :

Host : When did you had sex recently
Man : Yesday
Host : With who?
Man : With my wife of coz...
Host : And where ?
Man : on the kitchen table ....


Ok now the wife's turn, same questions :

Host : When did you had sex recently
Woman : Yesday
Host : With who?
Woman : With my husband .....
Host : Where?
Woman : *stunned* Sorry I wont tell ....
Man : Honey, you can tell them, there is nothing to be ashame of! I told them alredi! now we just waiting for you to confirm it only!
Host : Ok lemme ask again ... "where?"

If you wanna know the answer .... u watch the video posted below yourself la!




WUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Thanks to Cocka for the movie clip!

OOppsss!!

This is another picture for you people. especially men to pounder upon. But women also can comment lar..

Now, what would be in your mind, what would you do, how would you react if THIS happens to you?


To know what's that THIS, please scroll down to see the picture.

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28 April 2006

Which One More Painful ?

Look at the below pikture then judge for yourself, which one more Hailat?!

HAHAHAHA!!! mahai our world hor what kinda hailat people also got lar!!! kanneh!!

This post were originally made by janicepa in Rojaks mia Forum, I put it here for you all to pounder upon la .... what is happening to our world now ?? *sigh*

26 April 2006

Why you mustn't get so drunk?

A Copy-and-Paste joke. It tells you men especially you, yes, yes you!! ah pek!! to not to get too drunk.

George comes home VERY late, and VERY drunk, and his wife is waiting for him at the door. She says, "You've been out farking around, haven't you?"

He says, "Nope."

She says, "Then explain the lipstick on your shirt."

He says, "That's easy. I used my shirt to wipe off my dick."

Rojaks mia Forum Exploded at last!



Rojaks mia Forum finally exploded like a virgin 1st time kena HooT lidat .... response too good liow (actually too many perverts liow) traffic beh tahan finally ejeculateD!!!!

Added new bandwidth and now its up n running liow .... so if u wanna know why the so many ppl go there u check it out yourself lor ..... only registered member gets to see the "chun" stuffs ler ... guest go there tok kok sing song only ... member gets to WANK! wuahahahaha!!!!

How to join? click HERE lo!

25 April 2006

Rojaks Forum Updates

2 days in the running, 101 members, 300mb bandwidth and 467 articles later ..... I really think its a very good start, apart from the crappy username that is. No fighting yet .. everyone is behaving like an adult, wtf am I saying? of coz adult lar! minor not welcome ok! lol ...

Click on the above image to go to Rojaks Forum


Maybe some of the Rojakias shud leave some "testi-mani" in the comments on how you feel about the forum and all.

See you there! Click here to join if you are over 18 HERE


.

Ah Gu The Fireman

Once there was this fireman named...........errr.. call him Ah Gu la..

One day Ah Gu went back home from work and told his wife.. "Gu Soh (Mrs. Gu larr) ah.. you know hor.. we have this keng chau system at the fire station"

"How keng??" Gu Soh asked

"Like that one.. we have 3 kinda bells. When Bell no. 1 rings, we all put on our jackets. When Bell no. 2 rings leh.. we all slide down the pole and when Bell no. 3 rings, we're on the fire truck and ready to go."

Ah Gu then continued.. "So hor.. from now on.. when I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say Bell 2 hor.. you have to jump in the bed. And when I say Bell 3 right.. we are going to make love whole night. Ok or not this idea?"

Gu Soh nodded her head and said.. " Ok Ok!! I like!!"

The next night, Ah Gu went back home and yelled "Bell 1!!"

Gu Soh sexcitedly took all her clothes off and waited for the 2nd command.

When Ah Gu shouted "Bell 2!!", his wife faster faster jumped into the bed and again waited for his next command.

After the command "Bell 3", they started making love.

Few minutes later, Gu Soh yelled "Bell 4!!!!!!!!! Bell 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ah Gu got so blur and asked his wife.. "What the fark is Bell 4??!! I thought we only have 3 Bells in our commands."



Gu Soh then looked at his husband and said.. "Bell 4 means ROLE OUT MORE HOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. You are farking nowhere near the fire!! Nia mah.."

24 April 2006

Hamsap Malaysian Take Own Naked Photo With Stolen Handphone!!!

This barger dem geli ok! he took his own pic when hes pissing!!!! Who the hell is this hamsap exhibitionist ??? I knot disclose here la! If you girls/chicks thinks he got one hella chun body then join Rojaks Mia Forum to find out more la!

For those who joined Rojaks Mia Forum, login tot he forum and click HERE to go to the thread.

Hamsap low exposed!!!! Another community serbis brought to you by Rojaks Daily!!!

Announcing Rojaks Forum - Experimental Stage Only

Click on the above image to go to Rojaks Forum


I created a forum called Rojaks Mia Forum, this is where those I will post those Super Duper 18SXXXX stuffs and those super sensitive stuffs that i knot post in Rojaks Daily. You know la ... sometime the images too power ledi, later kids under 18yo see ledi i bcome bad influence pulak ... bad karma sial! So I made a forum for that purpose ler ....

The forum is registration is open now and all regular readers are invited to register and share their" jokes", "piktures" etc ... erm .. due to the sensitivity of the nature of the piktures displayed in that forum hor ..... those under 18 yrs old are not encourage to register ler .... this is why if you dont register you only see the not so sensitive stuffs only.... the sensitive stuffs is hidden and only registered users can see them :P

Right now the forum project is in its experimental stage only ... see response and see whether it serves the purpose anot la ... then kena see the bandwidth kaw anot also lol ... if too kaw i might bankrupt lol

The main purpose of the forum is for Rojaks Readers to post their thought without being read by the whole world ler ... i know some of you got stuffs to say but dunwan to disclose yourself right? Then the forum is for you lo! other than that you can mingle with others bloggers orso.

MCH! apa tunggu tunggu ?? Fai tit register la!!! Click here to Register


.

22 April 2006

Have You Seen Her ??

Have you seen her?

Cecilia Wong Ee Leen

She is WongPK's sister who went missing after some arguements with her husband, she might be in KL according to WongPK so if any of you KL ppl saw her please give WongPK a call ok? His number is 013-571-9755.

For more infos please read this post HERE

No, there is no rewards offered other than a deed to a fellow friend and the betterment of mankind, God bless.




.

21 April 2006

Which hole?

John loves to play golf. One day many many years ago, he was playing on a new golf course and got confused on which hole he was on. He then saw a chun chick playing ahead of her so he also took the opportunity to talk to her lar..

"Hello, this is my 1st time to this golf course. I am kinda confused right now. May I know what hole I am playing?"

"I am on the 8th hole. You are a hole behind me. So you should be on hole number 7 lor.." she told John.

He thanked her and went back to his game.

On the back nine, again the same thing happened. He went up to the leng lui again and asked "Sorry, I am confused again. Mind telling me which hole I am on now?"

"Errmm.. I am on the 15th. So you are on the 14th." the girl said.

"Oohh.. ok. Thanks alot." John responded before returning to his game.

After a while, John finished his round and went into the club house. He saw the girl sitting at the bar so he went up to her and offered to buy her a drink to show his appreaciation for her help. John then started a conversation and 1/2 way through he realized that he had not know the name of the girl yet.

"Oh yeah.. by the way, what's your name?" John asked.

"Helen. How about you?"

"I am John."
"What kind of work you are doing?" he asked further trying to get to know Helen better.

"If I tell you hor.. you sure laugh at me one.."

"No no. Don't worry. I won't laugh. I promise"

"I.. err.. sell tampons one.."

With that John fell on the floor laughing damn kao hard.

"Neh.. See.. I know you sure laugh at me one.. somemore said wont laugh.."

"Haha!! Nolar.. I am not laughing at the fact that you are selling tampons lar.."
"Actually hor.. I am a toilet paper salesman. So hor.. I am STILL one hole behind you."

Cocka and his Confession


I actually dunno whether i still have it in me to tell funny craps anot, today Im a lil bit relieved when I knew bout SCB's conditions is improving but on the other hand i had a terrible experienced trying to get co-operation from the 2 Doctors (one in IJN and another in Gleneagle) to talk to each other regarding my father's conditions *sigh* ... anyway lemme give it a shot ok? pulez dun fark me if its not funny ...

Today I wanna tell you about Mr. Cocka-doodle, not much people knew about this but cocka used to be a drunkard when he was young. That time he will drink from day to dawn and always return home pissed drunk one.

Then come one day he is more drunk than usual, during the walk home he lost his way and dunno why he ended up in a church.

After he enter the church dunno how he managed to get into the confession box and sit down quietly ..... upon seing cocka entering the confession box a Priest also take his place in the box next to him la.



After the Priest waited for 15 minutes also cocka dint say a thing, the Priest thot cocka shy la so he decided to give him more time .... anoder 15 minutes passed still cocka dint say a word.

The Priest dont wanna sound rude so he "coughed" to tell cocka that he is still there waiting for his confession .... unfortunately, that dint work too cocka still dint say a word.

The Priest waited for anoder 15 minutes and this time he beh tahan alredi ..... the Priest knocked on the wall 3 times to get cocka's attention and finally it worked .... cocka begins to mumbles ...

The Priest still cant catch what hes saying bcoz cocka is mumbling ... so the Priest said :

Priest : Pardon me but can you speak louder so that I can hear you clearly ?
cocka : I said! you knock on my door also no use la!!! I been looking for half an hour liow! my side here also no toilet paper la!!!

LMAO!!!!





Whats new in SOHOblogger.com

20 April 2006

Wednesday is fulla HOPE! - an Updates on SCB's Condition

I got this forwarded sms from Linpeh, I just wanna post it here to update all of you of SCB's condition.


Jomel : I just left the Hospital, she looks better today.Breathing more comfortably, not struggling, twice eyes open slightly look at me.I asked her to blink if she can see me, her eyelids moved abit .... There is hope.

That is really a piece of great news!!! All your blessings and prayers is making a differences!! she is recovering!!! Thank you to everyone! Thanks to Jomel too!

Related post :

For those blur blur who derno head and tail please read up these entries :
.

19 April 2006

Ah Pek's wife has no more excuse

One night, before sleeping, Ah Pek went into the bathroom and god knows what he was doing in there. 1/2 an hour later, he emerged from the bathroom naked. With a big smile on his face, he quickly crawled into the bed and told his wife.. "Lou por.. tonite I wan what what with u lar.. u want ar?"

Ah Pek doesn't know what is wrong with his wife. Everytime he makes such a request, his wife will definitely give him the same excuse which is HEADACHE. That night is no exceptional lar.. Ah Pek's wife told him that she has headache and wanna sleep already.

She was about to put down the magazine that she was reading before and get all ready to sleep when Ah Pek stopped her..

"Look lou por.. It's perfectly alright even if you have a headache today."

His wife was damn puzzled so she asked Ah Pek why did he say so.



"Because hor. just now hor.. when I was in the bathroom right.. I powdered my penis with aspirin. So hor.. now hor.. it's up to you to take it orally or as a suppository. Either way it will cure you headache."

18 April 2006

Watch Your Money Grow

Have u guys send your voice greetings/messages to Siao Cha Bor yet? Many of you (including myself) may not know her personally but enjoy reading her blog like I do. Letting her know how much we care will make a positive difference to her condition and hope you guys can spare a lil bit of time to do it. :)

Now.. to the joke..

Lilian was sitting in the living room watching tv while waiting for her ATM (her husband lar..) to return from work. When her ATM was finally home, it was almost 1 am in the morning already. So she asked her husband.. "Where u went lar lou kong.. so late only come back.."
Her husband then told her that he was out getting a tattoo.

"Tattoo??!! What kinda tattoo??!!" she then asked her lou kong..

"I got a thousand dollar bill tattooed on my kkc" said Mr. ATM like damn proud lidat..

"Why the hell are you doing that??" asked Lilian

"Why would an accountant like you get a thousand dollar bill tattooed on his kkc?!! chi sin ar??"

Mr. ATM then answered..

"1st, I love to watch my money grow"
"2nd, I love to play with my money once in a while"
"3rd, I love how my money feels in my hand"
"and the most important one, instead of going out shopping most of the time, you can stay right here at home and blow a thousand bucks anytime you want!!"

Save a life! Join Voice For a Cause





Many should have known by now a blooger, SCB (Lisa) gone into coma since 8th April and after a few other bloggers visited her they told me that she is responding to sounds and voices.

Linpeh came out with this wonderful idea, why dont we all record our message in the computer whether it is wave or mp3 format then send it to him at xymalaysia@yahoo.com

Please help us, we wanna play it to her when we go visits her at Gleneagle Hospital and hope all our voices will makes a big differences! Make this world a better place! please help our friend! Join our VOICE for A CAUSE Campaign please!!!!!!!!!

Related Post :

The Best of Cut 'n' Paste Jokes


My brain kinda dead now and i think it will take a while to be able to properly warm up again.
Not wanting to dissapoints those who come here for a dose of laughters or giggles, I presents to you the best of Cut n Paste!!!




Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?

A. The boy's hand

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-days and if
it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
A. Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
A. Tarzan asked "Why"? The animals told him "your tail is in the
front"

Tuesday is alot better ....

I made a button on 9393's request, Im gonna post it here. Feel free to use it :


I picked a part of Jomel's entry as an updates to SCB conditions :


When I saw SCB, she was not hooked onto the ventilator. She was breathing on her own. I was glad when I saw that. Her breathing is heavy and hard. Heart rate is normal.

With one hand holding her cold hand, and the other touching her forehead, I spoke softly to her. I saw a tear coming out from the corner of her eyes. I asked the nurse, "Is her brain functioning? Can she hear what I said? See, there's a tear coming out of the corner of her eye!"

Nurse said, "Yes, brain's functioning, though not to its full capacity. Yes, she can hear you.

This is a piece of great news indeed! God is listening ....


It doesnt matters what religion you are, Thank you for all your prayers


Relates Entries :
.

17 April 2006

Monday Just Cant Get Anymore Worst Than This !!!!


I know this used to be a happy blog with crappy jokes everday but somehow this few weeks my life sucks to the max!!! I would like to apologise for the lack of updating and the lack of sunny jokes to brighten your day with. I m just feeling so farking down right now!!


Related Post : Tuesday is alot better ....


Updates : At 5:30pm today i received a call from 9393 he just stopped by Gleneagle ICU to pay SCB a visits and SCB's mom is there keep asking her to wakeup. According to the doc, this dont look so good, for further details please goto 9393's blog later tonite he will update u guys with details. Nevertheless i still believe in miracles!!! SCB FASTER WAKEUPP!!!!


"WHACKED!" there was this thing that hit me on the back of my head last week, it took me the whole of the weekend trying to recover from it, I did not managed to fully recovered from the hit last week and this morning I was hit again at the same bloody spot!!! I passed out instantly! Im flat on my face! Strike 3!!! FINITO!

Yea thats pretty close to what i m going thru right now.... while im still struggling with my father's condition im slap with another piece of bad news this morning.

I got this sms message from linpeh while i was still driving this morning, one of our close frend / blogger whom we invited to appear in our upcoming talk show on the 5th of April 2006 gone into coma since 8th april 2006. Linpeh only learn about this today from an email from her friend.

Linpeh didnt mention alot in his sms to me, he just asked me to check my email and that is what i did first thing i arrive into the office.

I dont know whether I should publish this email or not but I decided to publish part of the email and hope everyone reading this will pray for her recovery.

Hi,

Very sorry for not able to inform you all earlier about what happen to Siao Char Bor (SCB) .

She is currently in ICU in Gleneagle, Ampang. She collapsed while in Rum Jungle, last Saturday night (8 April 2006). Her current condition is stable, but still in state of coma until today. I hope and pray that she will wake up very soon.
I still can remember clearly on that day itself, she offered me a ciggaette as I do not carry cigarette with me when i go out, it was Salem light we had a smoke and talked bout others things in life .... little do i expect things would turn out like this for her.

As of now shes still in coma, I plead to you all to pray for her ... ask god to wake her up from her sleep and back into this world again.... I thank you for all your prayers.

Wingz....


.

16 April 2006

I is the Author! - Projeck Lin Dynasty and I pass the baton to ....

In the midst of all this i kinda forgot to pass the baton to the next writer, I hereby pass the baton to Wuching go get them buddy!


Thanks alot for all the advices and well wishes that you guys gave me on my father's condition, your advices are valuable and i treasure each and everyone of them. Thank you!

15 April 2006

Rich Dad, Poor Dad ......


Rich dad goes to heaven, Poor dad queue in line. Cruel but True!

Doc : 3 artieries blocked, 2 of it collapsed and another one was blocked by clogged blood. all blockage more than 90% should proceed with operation ASAP.
Me : What options do we have Doc ?
Doc : Either balloon or by-pass but if balloon no gerenti one, after a while it will come back also so i recomend by-pass.
Me : How much whole the whole operation be?
Doc : Thats about 40k for surgery itself excluding others charges
Me : All in how much we should get ready?
Doc : Get Ready around 50-60k la and you have to pay it upfront.
Me : Are your fees negotiable ?
Doc : No sorry its not negotiable
Me : What if we transfer my dad to gomen hospitals like IJN and HUKM?
Doc : Your dad conditions are rather critical, the longer you wait the higher the risk and places like IJN n HUKM have a lllooooonnnggggg waiting list so the choice is entirely up to you la.
Me : You mean they do not give priority to more severe patients first ?
Doc : No, well ... unless you could get some influential people to recomend you la, then maybe you could cut down the waiting time.
Me : What kinda people would you consider as influential ?
Doc : Well, if you know someone from MCA, they could help you.


Influential people, influential people, where are thou??

Anyone here know anybody whois influential enough to get my oldman abit nearer to the operation table? *sigh*

Have Money will Travel .....

Have Money Will Travel but if you are poor dont fall sick! Yea thats should line after the first one .... I think I just lost all my sense of humor.

Somehow or rather I need to dig out a freaking huge sum of money if I want my oldman to get well. This is like "Hah? No Insurance? No Money? Then die!! What??? Bayar bulan bulan??!! you think this is court Mammoth ka? Nononono!!!" That kinda situation.

So, anyone reading this who might turn out to be a kind Cardiologist? or IJN's (Institute Jantung Negara) staffs or any other cardio expert who knew a thing or two about by-pass could spare me a light when im in total darkness pulezzz ??? I m kinda at a dead end here.....

Is there anyone out there who wanna buy a kidney? I got 1 to spare! Kind souls pls mail me at rojaks.wingz@gmail.com

To the rest, Happy Easter Day. This would definitely be an unforgetable Easter Day .......

14 April 2006

And The Winners Are .........


Soli for being late, cant help it ... my oldman go for scope in Gleneagle and I was accompanying him ..... scope results shown got 3 blocked arteries :( ...... anyone can recomend any Cardiologist in HUKM anot? Tenkiu in advance!

Ladies and Genitalmen,

I thought 4 tickets and 2 winners is a little bit too little for Rojaks Virgin contest, So our seponsor Cinema.com.my has agreed to increase the number of tickets 8 tickets n 4 winners!!! Hows cool is that ??!!! Also many thanks to my favourite Fast & Furious Chick - LMF for the sponsorship too.
So next time you wanna catch a movie logon to Cinema.com.my !!!!

Without further "aduh" ... and the WINNERS is !!!!

The below 2 winners will receive 2 tickets each to the movie "The Wild" at TGV Sunway on the 17th April Monday 2006. 9:50pm

Author : Buaya69
Blog : http://buaya69.blogspot.com


Author : Kenneth Loo
Blog : http://chubikia.blogspot.com/


The below 2 winners will receive 2 tickets each to the movie "Shes The Man" at GSC Midvalley on the 19th April Wednesday 2006. 9:00pm


Author : Seng Kor
Blog : http://whatcraps.blogspot.com


Author : Ms TITOKI
Blog : TITOKI


Winners please email me with details (Name, I.C. Number and telephone numbers) of the yourself of the person who is going to watch the movie

All tickets are courtesy of Cinema Online. For more free tickets & prizes, showtimes, reviews and news logon to www.cinema.com.my

The Wild Movie Contest - List Of Participants


No, no results yet, result will be announce tomlo so please check back again ok?

Its kinda difficult to choose 2 best entry as all of the entries are equally good, lemme crack my head a bit longer first la! In the mean time, I post all the participating images here together with the details of the authors for yall to enjoy lar!




Author : WuCan Rou
Blog : http://dreamstateblog.com



Author : Buaya69
Blog : http://buaya69.blogspot.com



Author : Dinz
Blog : dinzlink.net



Author : DrLiew
Blog : http://drliew.net




Author : hann wei yam



Author : hann wei yam



Author : Jerome Png
Blog : http://typlotion.blogspot.com/



Author : Kenneth Loo
Blog : http://chubikia.blogspot.com/



Author : Kenneth Loo
Blog : http://chubikia.blogspot.com/



Author : Kenneth Loo
Blog : http://chubikia.blogspot.com/



Author : Kenneth Loo
Blog : http://chubikia.blogspot.com/




Author : Kenneth Loo
Blog : http://chubikia.blogspot.com/



Author : Kenneth Loo
Blog : http://chubikia.blogspot.com/



Author : Seng Kor
Blog : http://whatcraps.blogspot.com



Author : Silencer
Blog : http://www.thesilentroom.net/



Author : Surfnux
Blog : http://surfnux.theuseless.com/



Author : Ms TITOKI
Blog : http://titoki.blogspot.com/



Author : Ms TITOKI
Blog : http://titoki.blogspot.com/

13 April 2006

Ahbeng First Shag in UK

Lemme tell u about this Ahbeng frend of mine, his name is buttshaker but i call him butty in short. This guy is the coolest Ahbeng i've known, for the sake of this story we will just address him as Ahbeng ok ?



This Ahbeng go skool in UK one u know! dun pray pray an then he also told me ... his biggest dream while in UK is to shag an Angmoh girl la .... and 3 month after he stayed in UK his dream came true ledi. There is this Angmoh girl whois also his neighbour which he is shiok at ..... so one day he asked her out and to his suprise she agreed!

That nite he took her to this very lohmantik restaurant and give her fawers n spend her nice dinner so at the end of the day he brought that Angmoh girl to his apartment and after some small talk they had sex.

You know lar this butty young man with boiling blood and ragging hormones sure want pride wan mah ... after Ahbeng habis first round ledi he wanted to ask the Angmoh girl whether she got climax anot but since Ahbeng Yingrish is not that good he said

"So you finish?"



to that the Angmoh girl reply "No" ....

Ahbeng heard liow sibeh boh song! How can he knot kautim this Angmoh girl right? so he grab this girl and start second round, this time he no more play gentleman ledi ... this time he whacked that Angmoh girl kaw kaw .... like dog in heat lidat that Angmoh girl also beh tahan la ... she moaned and moaned and scream and thrash around ... after 30 minutes later game over ledi ....

Ahbeng smiles .... this time Ahbeng dem proud of himself to be able to performed steadily and consistantly for another 30 minutes of wild actions. then after recuperating for a few minutes Ahbeng lean over to Angmoh girl and ask her again

"So, you finish?" again the Angmoh girl said "No"

Wuah this time Ahbeng really tulan liow! how can his manhood kena challenge lidat man!!! with all his leftover power he throw himself on top of the Angmoh girl and start another round of wilder than ever mating ritual, this time he is like gorrila in heat, screaming and shouting at the Angmoh girl with all his strength and the Angmoh girl also dem shiok ledi ... she also moaning and screaming on top of her voice ... both of them scream untill the ceiling also wanna drop down lidat. This time Ahbeng really hantam kaw kaw one .... this time Ahbeng really dun wanna take "NO" for an answer so with all his remaining strength he thrust deep deep and fast fast, the Angmoh girl also dem jialat ledi ... she start scratching and clawing the pillow till the pillow cover also broke into piece alredi .... this goes on for a few minutes till at one point both also beh tahan ledi and they climaxed together-gether .....

Ahbeng half dead, drag himself over to the Angmoh girl, look into her sexy blue eyes, gave her a very hamsup smile and asked ......

"So, are you finish?"

At this point this Angmoh girl also beh than ledi .... she sked if she dun tell Ahbeng the truth he will torture her whole night .... unable to take anymore of Ahbeng sexual tortures she shout back at Ahbeng ;

"NOO you perverted chink!!!
I AM NOT FARKING FINNISH!!! I AM SWEDISH!!!!!"



WUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

"The Wild" Rojaks Movie Contest [Note : This is a sticky post, for new post pls scroll down]


Rojaks Daily 1st Authentic Contest WITH PRIZE!!! no this time im not Joking! All prize sponsored by cinema.com.my


We at Rojaks always try our best to give more to our readers, we once tried to ask for special room rtes from Tiara Beach Resort, Port Dickson but we have been told that they will "think" about it and they had been thinking ever since.....

But fear not! Today or rather on the 17th april 2006, Rojaks Daily is sending you go see movie! Make that you and your boipren or gerpren or gaypren or lespren suma also can but can only bring one fler only.


The Premier Show of "The Wild" A Disney Movie. Animation fans be prepared to feast your eyes!!!

Date, Time and Location :
17 APRIL 2006 Monday 9:50PM TGV SUNWAY

Yea, the screening is in Sunway Pyramid KL but folks from outta town can still join this contest bcoz if you won you can give the prize to your frends n relatives in KL too, the ticket are transferable ok no problem there!

THE CONTEST




Rules & Regulations
  1. Open to Everyone in Malaysia, except Rojaks Crews.
  2. In less than 30 words, fill in the thoughts bubble of what might be the man thinking
  3. 2 Funniest entry will be pick as the Winner of this contest and they will receive 2 tickets each to the movie mentioned above.
  4. Entries must be sent in by email(s) to rojaks.wingz@gmail.com, entries posted in the comment section will not be considered as a legit entry and will not be enter into the contest. Please also include your handphone/telephone number, name or blog's url (if you have a blog) in the email so we can contact you and make arrangement to send you the tickets.
  5. You can send in as many entries as you like (buden dun spam my mailbox la)
  6. All emails should reach us by, 5pm on the 13th April 2006 (Thursday) and the Winners will be announce on the next day (14th April 2006) by noon time.
  7. All decision are final and no amount of begging would change our mind ... well maybe we would response to bribery but certainly not begging!!! lol!
  8. All entries will (or not) be publish in Rojaks Daily after the Contest ends together with the Blog's url of the participant (If he/she is a blogger la)
  9. Errr ... brain dead liow ... later i think of anything only i add la kakakakakakaa!!! .....

What you waiting for ???? Start cranking your brain lar wei!!!!


All tickets are courtesy of Cinema Online. For more free tickets & prizes, showtimes, reviews and news logon to Cinema.com.my



Entries Counts : 16 Entries received so far.


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12 April 2006

Star Wars in Hokkien


MCH!!!! everytime holiday also lidis!!! kambek to work sure like farking going to war lidat!!! ARGHHH!!!! Hou lan diu ahh !!!! NIAHMAHFULAT!!!! ok today no time to do long ass post so i present to you Mahfulat Hokkien Star Wars !!!!!


Video courtesy of Latuk Linpeh

Audio: stahwars.mp3
by wingz



If your browser is not showing anything then you can go directly to the Audio by clicking in this LINK

11 April 2006

Lin Dynasty Chapter 20 : Jai Toking (Vegetarian Talking)


WTF WEI!!! cibai firefox detect dunno what what fark popup and closed itself!!! and all my story is gone!!! ARGHHH!!!!! this is the 2nd version, 1st version dunno go where da fark ledi!!! poohkeyayam!!!! mch!!!!

Before we go further, do you know that there are 10 yrs missing from this story alredi ? I bet some of you are aware of that, for those who derno what i m toking bout refer to chapter 3 in 5xmom's blog.

Chapter 2 ended with this ....
"Liong Sick and Kick Siang! Look! What's that ah?" He asked, while pulling the object out of the bushes. He promptly screamed as he noticed droplets of blood clinging to his fingers...


Then chapter 3 begin with this....

10 years have passed…

Lin Peh is now 16 years old. He stays with Untie Helen whilst all his brothers have gone to stay on their own. The day when Untie Lin stabbed to death her lover was the day Lin Peh’s life screwed up.


Go HERE to read all the chapters from chapter 1 till chapter 19


So lemme be the chosen one to tell you what actually happened in those 10 years, before that lets take a look at what our sponsor got to say first. Over to our sponsors :


Axe Brand Wind Oil!

Canto : Tau Tung, Tau Warn, Sun Hing, Lan harn, chee buy harn, Seng Mou nang cheng yung Foo Tau Piu Fung Yau la!

Malayu: Kapla Sakit, Kapla Pening, Badan Panas, cipap gatal, Konek Gatal, Konek Tak naik sila pakai Minyak Angin Cap Kapak la!

Yingrish : Head Pain, Head Spin, body hot, kok itchy, cipap itchy, impotent please use Axe Brand Wind Oil la!


Welcome back to the story, where were we just now huh? oh yah the 10 missing years. WHAT ? what do you mean its not call wind oil in yingrish? if not call wind oil then call what? mch you wanna listen to story anot wan? if u want to listen then diam diam la! diu!

kambing back to our story .... Linpeh were traumatised after he picked up the carcass of the kucing from the bush and a few days later he were sent to the hospital bahagia for further rehabilitation. This is the time where Linpeh made the most of, he made many frends among the inmates and made several major outstanding achievements throughout his stay in hospital bahagia.

Linpeh was the youngest basket who managed to paint the entire 4 side of walls in his cells with feces before he was caught and put into straightjacket, the nearest attempt by another inmate prior to linpeh he was only able to do half a wall before they caught him. The record is still intact until today, no one seems to be able to break it.

Linpeh was also responsible for the death of Taoyun, Taoyun whois in his 50s wet his pant one day and somehow linpeh succesfully convinced Taoyun to hang himself to dry by the rope which were tied to the ceiling fan. The warden discovered Taoyun several hours later dried and pretty dead. Somehow no one dare to attempt that trick ever again.


Inmates were given white bun as breakfast every morning in their cells, linpeh saw this as a good oppurtunity to put his waste to good use. You see linpeh were sharing this cell with another ding-dong call Lowmei who got into hospital bahagia to curb his addiction for Mcd Burger but seing how misery it was for Lowmei linpeh developed a plan to help him and put his waste to good use, he made him fecesburger and also succesfully convinced him to consume his fecedburger for a whole bloody year untill the poor man cant take it no more and thus no more addicted to burger anymore! This is another record which linpeh still hold till today

Due to Linpeh many outstanding achievements linpeh was awarded inmates of the year 2 years in a row, the award was presented by Hospital Bahagia Dilekter YB Super-maniam. In his speech YB complimented Linpeh on his originality and foresee that linpeh is gonna capable of many big thing in the future. That of coz made linpeh's lampar grow alot bigger la.

About a month after the award presentation linpeh managed to convinved the hospital that he is fit to be released into the society again and after several tests the hospital let him go free. before he leave he say byebye to all the inmates and promised to keep in touch.


Wanna know what happened to linpeh after he got outta hospital bahagia? stay tuned!! we take a break for commercial first!



Indian God Oil

Canto : Yaudou Sun yau, mm tan jee hor yee G choy, jung hor yee lor lei jou Oi!

Malayu : Minyak Ajaid India, bukan sekadar untuk memasak, tapi boleh digunakan untuk beromen jugak!

Yingrish : Indian God Oil, not only delicious for cooking, but also good for farking!
Why not viagra ? Haaaalooo! we are now doing flashback lar!! where is your sense of time ??? at that time viagra not yet invented ok!! now lets get back to our story ...

Linpeh stayed with Helen (his oldman's mistress) while his oldman was doing his time enjoy some anal-ysing in Pudu jail and from there he plot his next step in building his own evil empire, he has been secretly recruiting all the inmates who has been released from hospital bahagia without anyone's knowledge. Nobody knew anything about this, not even Helen or niahma or unke Lin.

Among linpeh favourite recruit are this man by the name of 9393, he is a well known assasin with a thing for ballet dancing ..... little do niahma or helen knows that this 9393 will be their blackstar (Haksing) in the later days .... *drumroll* cheng cheng cheennnggg!

to be continue ........ (mch not by me lar of coz! by some other basket! later i ask linpeh and see who notchet write wan 1st)


P.S. : if you lafu me, please leave a con-ment


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9 April 2006

Weekend Photos : Rojaks Weird Pictures Collection


A collection of Exotic Photographs from all over the world! From Mexico to Acopulco! hehe Enjoy~~~


Note : Pulez do not wank to the photos ok?


Male and Female Carrot Standing next to each other :P




Cactus on Viagra?!





Oh Boy! is this tree sexcited or what huh?






You see what ??!!! WHERE??!!!!




scb : oh man!!! my knees is going weak~~~




5xmom : Oh my! i like~~~~


Linpeh : Now thats what I call a Dream Hole House .. ops ... I mean cave!




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