31 August 2007

A Merdeka Post

I wish there will be racial harmony,
I wish the economy will be good for everyone,
I wish there will be no more proverty,
I wish we have better roads,
I wish there will be no more mat rempit & snatch thieves,
I wish for a peaceful, corruption free and properous Malaysia.

Happy 50th Merdeka!

30 August 2007

Feng Shui Bed For Sale

18SX - Small bois n girls ... go do your homework! Dun read! go play PS2 or PS3 or Wii or PSP or anything as long as u dont read this post can edi! If you die die also wanna read ... then call your mum/dad at work and ask for permission 1st ok?
Oh! and its NSFW too!

Note : NSFW means Not Safe From Work .... so, if u kena fire bcoz you read my blog at work ... u dun kam find me can?

My buddy Kenny Ng is in Dubai now beginning a new chapter in his career, he left in such a hurry that he is unable to settle most of this stuffs here. So being his frend I decided to help him, he got a new place to stay in Dubai and he sold alot of his stuffs here but because he got very limited time to settle all the stuffs he cant take care of it all and he asked me to help him sell his bed for him.

This is a king size bed that comes with 4 huge bed pillars, this bed is also known as the feng shui bed! Custom made for those bachelor and its GerentiED to get you laid one if you sleep onnit regularly!!! (Kenny asked me dun tell u all this secret wan but you see i m a very honest man mah! how not to tell jek?) If got good things sure must share one la! Leng mou?!

The bed is made of solid rosewood and its still in its best condition! I test the spring ledi and the spring dem power .... jump 1 time u bounced the bed bounced back 3 times .... so you no nid to use lotsa power when u "ush-ushing"

Now you might think i m toking big big trying to sell you a regular bed but afraid not .... Ahbeng bruff you 8 yrs-10yrs ... I always got prove one!!

I took a pic of Kenny's bed the other day when we helping him to clear his house ....

Nah! see for yourself la!!!

Lancau Bed

Ok ok .... those who wanna buy this Feng Shui Lancau Bed, start bidding now!!! Do I hear RM15k anyone?

28 August 2007

Your a Sexist if you have this chair at home .....

This chair!!! erm .. ok lar prolly not a chair .. this stool la!

hahaha! got spesel place for you to park your balls and pisang wan leh! cool anot??!!!

I wonders ... how would a sexist female chair will looks like?

Found this pic here

26 August 2007

The best MSN message I received so far .....

Was having a orgy MSN session with a few bloggers just to keep myself occupied so that I wont think of stupid stuffs then somewhere during the chat my ladyboss came out with the most interesting message i ever read this year!!

This is what she said :

ladyboss@hotmail.com says (12:04):
k la.. u guys compare the length of your dick and pussy la.. i wanna go have phone sex with an indon now.
I tell lu ... this could anytime qualify as the best Msn line of the year 2007!!! Do you have any interesting MSN moment to share?

24 August 2007

Letter From Ahmah

One day Ahbeng arrived home to find his wife Ahlian very tulan, Ahbeng also ask her la ....

Ahbeng : Ahlian what happened? what did i done wrong ar?
Ahlian : Loukung you mother scold me!!!
Ahbeng : Mother? mother is in Japan holiday-ing wor! she called?
Ahlian : NO! she wrote you a letter!
Ahbeng : How is that related ar?
Ahlian : This morning hor ... got one letter for you, then i open it and read la
Ahbeng : Then?
Ahlian : It was a letter from your mother ....
Ahbeng : So?
Ahlian : Nah! You see what she wrote at the end of this letter la!
Ahbeng : Lemme see ...

At the end of the letter there is this little note and it says ....

P.S. : Dear Ahlian, can you please dont be so kepoh and pass this letter to my son?

23 August 2007

Lau Bei Huet Thursday

Been busy lately trying my very best to fix my messed up life and get it back to its ori track, sorry for the lack of updating and be assure i will not abandon my dream to make ppl smile no matter how difficult my life is.

There is a new trend in taking wedding piktures .... whats the new trend? well ... see for urself la!

ok la jokes aside, Lau bei huet memang got la .... but lemme ask you a question .... if you are getting married will be allow your wife-to-be to take this kinda wedding pic? Better still ... will you wanna take this kinda wedding pic yourself?

Its always better looking at other ppl doing it rite?

Thanks to my buddy Kenny Ng for these pics

22 August 2007

I m not Happy

You watched snow white and the seven dwarfs before rite? If notchet then you better go watch before you read this or else you will not be able to understand wan. Why? because this story has got something to do with dwarfs and their names. The name of the dwarfs in snow white the movie are : "Bashful," "Doc," "Dopey," "Grumpy," "Happy," "Sleepy" and "Sneezy

This is the story ...

One day Ahbeng drives to work half awake and weckED the back of the car in front him.

The owner of the car got down to look at the damage and to Ahbeng's suprise hes kinda short (as short as a dwarf). Then that fler walks towards Ahbeng, knocked on his window and said this in a very angry tone :

The-Short-Fler : Hey buddy!!! WTF?!!! I m not HAPPY OK??

Then Ahbeng tried to be funny ...

Ahbeng : Oh ... if you are not Happy then which dwarfs are you? Grumpy??

And thats how Ahbeng kena jailed for wecking the short fler....

20 August 2007

When you wanna remove that tattoo ....

Been really busy trying to save my own life lately. Thanks to those who offered me help,advices, time and a lot more. My apology for not being able to update as often as I wanted to but nevertheless I will keep this blog going one way or the other.

I remembered I blogged about tattoo sometime back and today i found a video about tattoo removal!! of coz its not really a tattoo removal video la! Its a parody aimed especially at young girls who tattooED their lower back.

Even tho its a joke but it does have some serious insight on how tattoo would looks like 30-40 years down the line ... Serious! Go ahead enjoy the video!

Now ... I think its quite true ... I mean what aging can do to a tattoo la! lol!

17 August 2007

New Speed Trap at Elite Highway?

I got this from a forwarded email to me by my buddy Kenny Ng.

I dont know how true is this or is it just a rumor but for the information of all those who will be travelling on Elite highway I post this up.

Latest Speed trap at ELITE Hi-way installed on 17 /07/07.

Pix taken on 25/7 Driving from KLIA to Bt 3/KL/Ipoh just after Subang Jaya Exit.

SURE kena... coming down slope, kap chai also more than that 90KM ...eh

Digital Camera Speed trap unlimited shot until HD full 300GB...ha!

Effective range 300m or less...

USJ - Subang interchange Elite Overhead Restaurant

Is this how static speed camera looks like?

I dont use this highway very often and even tho its true my car couldnt probably do 90kmh even on a downhill slope ... so i think i am pretty safe even if i am travelling on this highway.

Anyone could verify this piece of information?

This has been another community message from Rojaks Daily.

16 August 2007

Africa Truly Africa

Things that you dont get to see any other place other than Africa :

African Walkman :WArning : user might prolly get neck injuries if used for a long period of time, please make sure you got a strong neck before you purchase this gadget. (12V recycled car battery included)

African warmwater : DIY style easy and simple .... safety not guaranteed tho, chances of getting eletricuted are prolly 99.9%

African Home Breed Japanese Car : Toyota Cowrolla!!! Top speed 5kmh

African MPV : Multi purpose vehicle, small cc, save petrol, can accomodate up to 12 person (4 on bike and 8 more on the trailer behind it)

African Ambulance : For non emergency case only! If you got emergency, better start running on your own ASAP ... you will prolly get out of the hospital by the time this ambulance arrive. lol!

14 August 2007

Who Knows? Who Dont?

Enuff of my crappy life, life goes on no matter how suck it is. This world is never meant to be a fair place to begin with ... so just deal with it and move on ... and since I m still recovering from all this crappiness the jokes will sucks too at times, hope you guys would find it funny tho.

Amadika is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don't know. Those who know are no problem.

Those who don't know are also in two groups.

One is those who don't know and know they don't know. Well, they can learn!

But then, there are those who don't know, and don't know they don't know. And they become Politicians!

12 August 2007

I Dont Know What Else to Say .....

I dont know what else to say other than thank you.

When all hope is lost,
Thank you all for giving me courage,
Thank you all for showing me hope,
Thank you all for the motivation,
Thank you all for showing me that human is actually not as scary as I thought they are ....

Hope and dreams is what that keep a man alive, when all hope is lost and all dreams are broken, man will think of doing silly stupid stuffs.

What happened?

I am at a level right now where i doubt if I could still be what a father should be, to be able to provide for my kid's future. I doubt I could be what a husband should be to be the provider for the family or the least basic I m not sure how much long I can afford to put food on the table anymore.

I lost lotsa stuffs. both material and emotional stuffs that I worked so hard for as long as I could remembered and for some obvious reason I cant expose of, not here in my blog.

I am still searching and waiting and I hope there will be a sign telling me what is the path i should take next because I dont like this feeling of being stuck at the junction for this long time. Time is a luxury that I dont have at this moment...

Usually when I fall down, it would only take me a few days to stand back up but this time it takes alot longer than a few days. Its not only that, whenever i managed to pull myself together someone/something will whack me from behind and I will fall down again. One step forward ... two steps backward.

This has been going on for at least a month and I always ask myself ..... what is my limit? I mean obviously everyone would have his/her own limit of how much shit one can take right?

Right now there just isnt any light at the end of the tunnel, I probably havent reach the end of the tunnel yet and I been walking for more than a month ledi. Is there ever gonna be a light at the end of the tunnel or I am going the wrong way?

If you ask me now What is the scariest thing on earth? I would tell you that its not a an angry ghost or anything near that ... the scariest thing is this world is human.

I m still searching and lost, I would really appreciate advices from those who had been through similar situation, where can I go from here?

9 August 2007

No Way Out?

I am at a dead end now, I asked myself not to blog about unfortunate stuffs because I knew that most of you guys come here to read about stuffs that will make you happy but it has been getting really bad lately I told myself to write it out before its too late.

I m fuckED, my life is fuckED! I m suicidal and I felt farking useless ..... how i wish I m dead so i wont be a burden to anyone.

I dont know where to get help ....

8 August 2007

Ahbeng Go Eye Test

Ahbeng after kambing back from working a few years Kahzakhstan wanna get himself a GDL lesen (neh, you need GDL lesen if you were to drive commercial van or vehicle one ah!) so he went to JPJ to apply for the lesen but he was told to take eye test first.

Not knowing where he could go for the eye test he asked one of the JPJ official :

Ahbeng : Boss ... tumpang tanya ... mana mau pigi check itu mata ar?
JPJO : Check mata ka? pigi ini klinik depan itu kedai boleh la.
Ahbeng : Oh! itu kedai ka? ok ok tenkiu ....

Then Ahbeng also go register himself and tell the nurse he wanna get lesen and kena do eye test. After wait awhile the nurse call Ahbeng to go into the room ...

Nurse : Chow Ahbeng !!!
Ahbeng : Kambing!!!

*in the room*

Lokter : pls sit down, you want do eye test ar?
Ahbeng : Yes lokter, i want do eye test.
Lokter : Nurse take out my eye test chart pulez.

*After nurse take out eye test chart Lokter points to a row of alphabets that reads :


Lokter : Ahbeng can you read this line?
Ahbeng : Read??!!! I can do better than read!!! I know this farker!! This farker Otang (owes) me money in Khazaksthan not yet pay me back still!!!

6 August 2007

Ahbeng Terrible Day at the Opis

On a Monday evening .... Ahbeng dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped down half dead.

Ahlian saw Ahbeng so tired lidat fast fast make him kopi-O-kaw and said ....

Ahlian : larling ... opis today many many work ka? You look so tired one geh?
Ahbeng : Sigh ... you dunno how terrible today at work!
Ahlian : Tell me! tell me!
Ahbeng : Wuah ... I tell lu ... today opis mia computers all kena virus!! All down!!! We all have to do our own thinking!!! You say jialat anot??!!!

5 August 2007

Digi Yellow Man - YCF Strikes Back

You blogged about the Digi Yellow Man (YCF) and they strikes back with an image of your blog in their latest video!

The below screenshot is taken from the latest video about The 5 Minutes of Life of Digi Yellow Coverage Flers posted up in You Tube.

And this is the actual screenshot taken from this particular post from this blog.

Surely there really sint anything grand also because this blog only got half a second slot, if you wasnt paying any attention you might not know it appeared also! lol ....

Abig thanks to Cincau and Cely for the tips.

Heres the 5 minutes of the latest YCF video, enjoy!

If you cant see the embedded video then click HERE to goto the video directly.

Between Men and Women this is how we think

Got this from an email forwarded to me a while ago, Its abit long but its gonna worth your time reading it ..... its really a joke but there are plenty of truth innit, i mean generally ... thats how men thinks and thats how women reacts ... no?

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says. (There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women.

3 August 2007

Scrambled eggs or half boiled eggs?

Ahbeng and Ahlian just got married. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, Ahbeng made Ahlian blekfas in bed. Ahlian took one look at the blekfas and said ....

Ahlian : Half boiled?? I wanted scrambled eggs!

Dun wanna gibe up, next morning Ahbeng made Ahlian a scrambled egg. Ahlian took one look at it and said :

Ahlian : You know how to cook one anot? Everyday also scrambled eggs you no sien one meh?! today i want half boiled eggs la!!!

Determined to please Ahlian, the next morning Ahbeng made 2 types of eggs for her. One is half boiled one and one is scrambled one with this Ahbeng thot Ahlian got no more excuse to fark him ledi ..... so Ahbeng also send the eggs to Ahlian whois still on the bed waiting for her blekfas la

Ahbeng : Here my lafu ... today I made you the kinda blekfas you wanted! I made both types of eggs so I can never go wrong ledi.

Ahlian took one look at the plate and said ...

Ahlian : Niahma! You scrambled the wrong eggs la!!!

1 August 2007

The RM25k Promises

Ahkau wanna die ledi so he call 3 of his best fren (Ahbeng, Ahock, AhTi) to come. He then gibe them 1 envelope each, inside each envelope there is RM25k cash.

Ahkau : You 3 is my best fren ... so plomise me that you would put this envelope into my coffin when i die so i can die rich.

All 3 of them agreed to do as Ahkau asked.

Ahkau finally kiokED and 3 of them as plomised come n put the envelope beside him and get the whole thing done with.

3 months later, 3 of them met up at mamak and Ahock finally confessed ...

Ahock : actually i very guilty ledi for the past 3 months ....
AhTi : Why?
Ahock : Becoz I actually only put RM15k in the envelope .... Another 10k I burnt ledi ...
AhTi : Actually .... i also got something to confess also ....
Ahbeng : Wat izzit?
AhTi : I only put RM8k in the envelope ... another 17k I use go karaoke hire piao mei ledi ....
Ahbeng : MCH lu all!!! You all really useless wan!!! lidat also u wanna bruff!!!
AhTi : Ahbeng you mean you dint take any money from the envelope?
Ahbeng : I not as bad as u all ok? Yes ah ... i took the cash ah! But i put a RM25k personal check into the envelope! Unlike u both ... i tarak take 1 cent of Ahkau money also!