1 August 2006

Malaysian's Hell

Ahbeng died and his soul were sent to hell, everyone are assigned to a Devil and this Devil will bring you round the hell on your first visit (kinda like orientation lidat la).

Ahbeng found out from that Devil that there is different kinda hell you can choose to stay in. Among the few Ahbeng can recognise were the Singaporean hell, Indonesian hell, China hell, Thais hell and the last one is of coz Malaysian Hell.

Ahbeng got curious and asked the Devil :

Ahbeng : why is there so many different kinda hell one har?
Devil : Marketing mah ... different hell for different nationality so they wont fight lar. Then if you are bored with your own hell you can apply to go to other hell for holiday for a few days also.
Ahbeng : Can migrate anot one?
Devil : migrate also can la but you kena apply first la.
Ahbeng : ohhh lidat wan har? shiok leh hell also can go holiday.
Devil : So, which hell you wanna stay in? you kena decide now you know?
Ahbeng : eh .. decide now ar?
Devil : yalar! if not wait for xmas to come 1st izzit?
Ahbeng : ok ok ... err befoh that can you tell me what is the differences between singaporean hell, malaysian hell, thais hell and china hell?
Devil : Basically they are the same also .... you see, you wake up at
  • 8am then they will put you on a electrict wok filled with hot oil for 3 hours,
  • 11am - 1pm is lunch break then
  • 1pm to 3pm they put you on a bed made of nail and from
  • 3pm - 5pm representative of each country will come and bash 9 you till your mader also knot recognise you.
Ahbeng : Wuah hell also got time table wan har?
Devil : abuden ?
Ahbeng : If all the hell is the same then why Malaysian hell got so many peeple queue up wan? Malaysia got more sinners izzit?
Devil : No ler ... I also derno why so many ppl wanna go into Malaysian hell, the maintenance is so terrible there! The electrict wok also dont work anymore, then all the nails on the nails bed had been stolen! The worst is the Malaysian Devil !!! he everyday come to work late, punch his card ledi straight go canteen drink kopi then he work not even half hour he go home liow! Lidis also got so many peeple wanna go there wan! Diu!
Ahbeng : Eh Eh! Lidis I also wanna go Malaysian Hell!!!!

Devil :


  1. wei china hell lagi lazy la....
    if you open kilang at there you have support the whole kampung you know

  2. hahaha...now that's the best version of hell that exact show Malaysian attitude. now, a proud citizen of malaysia especially after I died....

  3. Anonymous2:32 am

    Malaysian hell is good geh...

    Monday is drinking day..ohkaw, tiger, black dog, heineiken, anchor, samsu todi soma ada..!!

    Tuesday is smoking day.. all types of cigarettes from all over the world somemore free punya..!!You can smoke until got cancer oso nebermine. Ah Beng oledi dead ma!!

    Wednesday is gambling day fuiyoh..poker ada, one lap ada, 3 cards ada, bakarat ada, roulette ada.. macam macam ada!!

    Thursday is sex day..can have all the sex you wan.!! AhBeng liddat chun anot?

    Friday is fighting day (Pek yau day)..you can wollap whoever you dislike!!

    saturday and Sunday is OFF day.. LOL

  4. Good one, Wingzy! damn, I rather bride 5xmum to put in a few good words for me or employ a sin eater; 2g2 heaven is better lah. I hope the Malaysian Devil do 'minum kopi'in case I ended up in the wrong place!

  5. ace : i received punya schedule diffrent on sex day ler as u kena fark arsehole as newcomer on gay day...muahaha...

    malas_ia bulleh...

  6. I tot wat had happen to Rojaks. My feeder unable to update to this post..To EVIL ard :P

    Pelan-pelan buat ma..Cepat habis, esok buat apa?! 1 job spread to 1whole week only can show u r working..

    Ace: Sat is half day of drugs..Ectasy, Morphin, Syabu, etc. All you can hisap

  7. tell oso la about Malaysian heaven. ;)

  8. hahahahha FInally!! One thing that make us proud!!

  9. I oso wanna go! I oso wanna go! LOL.

  10. Anonymous11:08 am

    very farny joke

  11. Anonymous12:15 pm


    Bet this is original

  12. I've to admit this is indeed very funny;) If there's a malaysian hell, then everyone is goin down to hell:p

  13. 8:30am-breakfast break
    9:15am-toilet break
    9:45am-teh-tarik break
    10:30am- poopoo break, cos got free tissue in office ma..
    11:30am- discussing with colleague where to go for lunch
    12:00noon - 1:00pm - lunch time! yahoo
    2:00pm- rest a while la, so full how to work?
    3:00pm- eat too full, need to poo again..*haha*
    4:00pm- tea time break..nescafe anybody? =p
    4:30pm- prepare to go home, finanlize up the "works"..
    5:00pm- can go home d..yahoo!!

    haiya, u see la, the government worker's time table so full, where got time to work, n give u the best service...wakakaka..=p

  14. Anonymous1:38 pm

    Rojakz is so funny
    Laff no need money

    *takes tripod bodek Rojakz, just to make anon's balless ball even more jeles*

  15. Anonymous1:39 pm

    wo, can't believe no one is around now. not bad wingz. this one really makes me lol. i really dislike those marchan's working style. always have break to minum, so many breaks. dunno they go workin or rest 1. some more msia mia ppl no moral one. always steal this and that. especially metal stuffs.


  16. Anonymous1:51 pm

    Wingz, the Class C IP address belongs to MAXISNET and the maintainer information is as below:

    Chiau Tik Tan
    address: Plot 12155(Lot 13), Jalan Delima 1/1,
    address: Subang Hi-Tech Industrial Park.
    address: 40000 Shah Alam, Selangor, Malaysia.
    phone: +603-5880-1711
    fax-no: +603-5880-0228
    e-mail: cttan@maxis.net.my

    the IP address belongs to Korea Telecom (KORNET) and the maintainer info as below:

    Host Master
    address: 11F, KTF B/D, 1321-11, Seocho2-Dong, Seocho-Gu,
    address: Seoul, Korea, 137-857
    country: KR
    phone: +82-2-2186-4500
    fax-no: +82-2-2186-4496
    e-mail: hostmaster@nic.or.kr

    You can email the above maintainers and complain, and if they continue to bug you, you can report these addresses as spammers/hackers, block them ya!!

  17. Anonymous2:04 pm

    Wingz, I found that KORNET have an email address for you to report abuse: abuse@kornet.net

    What say!!!

  18. Anonymous3:05 pm

    wah lau tux...engko spy ye?..hehe..good job wor...

  19. Go to Malaysian hell is damn inefficient ah???? You got all kinds of idea!!!!LOL

  20. That devil and lil devil same one? hehe

  21. How u know about hell and heaven? U been there before? Anyway it doesn't matter... I'm one of Malaysian's devil... hahaha... but too bad I dun even got time to tea break this n that, sometimes skip the lunch and have to kao tim my work. Not all devil's work like that depend on what field u are in.

  22. Ace1 & Ming...you forgot one more itinerary.
    Nowadays, on Friday afternoon they all go carry banners and demonstrate and chances are they won't come back to the office. ..I mean malaysian hell.

  23. Well done, Tux. I damn 9 sked of you liao.

    Psst!! please dun tell ppl I got surf porn sites. LOL

  24. tux: you very powderful lah!!!!!

  25. Anonymous1:36 am

    Cocka sifu,
    I learned it from you when I was in JB. Did I miss out anything??

  26. Anonymous5:36 pm

    mch a lil too late but still need to comment LAUGHING LIKE HELL NOW!!
    btw those devils can bribe wan kah?


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