AhLian One Liner!

How did the Ahlian try to kill the bird?... she throw it off of the top of her HDB flat.

How did the Ahlian die drinking milk? ... the cow stepped on her.

Why does a Ahlian only change her baby's diapers once a week? ... the instructions there got say "good for up to 10 kilos".

Why do Ahlians have see-through lunch box cover? ... so they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.

Why do Ahlians like lightning? ... they think someone is taking their picture.

Why do Ahlians have more fun? ... they are easier to be amused.

What do you call a Ahlian in a tree with a brief case? ... branch manager.

What do you call a smart Ahlian? ... a golden retriever.

What do you see when you look into a Ahlian's eyes? ... the back of her head.

How many Ahlians does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? ... 10!!! ...one Ahlian will mix the dough and 9 Ahlians will peel the shell off the M & M's.

Why did the Ahlian keep a coat hanger in her back seat? ... in case she accidently locks the keys in her car.

Why did the Ahlian tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? ... so she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Why did the Ahlian get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? ... because she felt so smart coz the box said from 2-4 years.

What did the Ahlian say when she looked into a box of Cheerois? ... oh look, donut seeds.

Why was the Ahlian very sad when she got her driver's license? ... because the driving instructor give her an "F" for sex!

What is it called when an Ahlian blows in another Ahlians ear? ... data transfer.

What's the difference between a Ahlian and a lightbulb? .... the lightbulb is smarter, but the Ahlian is eaiser to turn on.

What do UFO's and smart Ahlians have in common? ... you keep hearing about them, but never see any.

What do you get when you cross a Ahlian and a lawyer? ... I don't know, there are some things even a Ahlian won't do.

What's six inches long, has a bald head, and drives Ahlians crazy? ... a one hundred dollar amadika money!

How do you confuse a Ahlian? ...No nid ... They're born that way.

What does a Ahlian make best for dinner? ... reservations.

What do you call a skeleton in the closet with Ahlian hair ... last years hide and seek party winner.

What do you call a Ahlian behind a steering wheel? ... an air bag.

What do you call 20 Ahlians standing ear to ear? ... a wind tunnel.

What is five miles long and has an IQ of forty? ... an Ahlian parade.

Question to the Ahlian...why do you have an ice pack on your chest? ...to keep the milk fresh.

How to you keep a Ahlian busy all day? ... put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

How do you drown a Ahlian? ... put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Why do Ahlians hate M & M's? ... they're to hard to peel.

How do you keep a Ahlian busy? ... write "please turn over" on both sides of a piece of A4 paper.

Why did the Ahlian stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? ... she wanted to see what she looked like when she was sleeping.

How many Ahlians does it take to play hide and seek? ... one.

Why couldn't the Ahlian write the number eleven? ... she didn't know which 1 came first.

How do you make a Ahlian laugh on Monday? ... tell her a joke on Friday.

Why do Ahlians have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes? ... it stands for "toes go in first".

How many Ahlians does it take to change a tire? ... 5!! 2 to get sodas, 2 to cry and 1 to call daddy.

What do Ahlians and beer bottles have in common? ... they're both empty from the neck up.

What's the advantage of being married to a Ahlian? ... you can park in handicapped zones.

What's the mating call of a Ahlian? ... I think I'm drunk.

How does a Ahlian turn on the lights after sex? ... opens the car door.

Why did the Ahlian have square boobs? ... bcoz she forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

What is the Ahlian doing when she hold her hands over her ears? ... trying to hold on to a thought.

Why did the Ahlian stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? ... because it said "concentrate".

Why do Ahlians work seven days a week? ... so you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Why do Ahbengs like Ahlians jokes? ... it is one jokes they can understand.

Why is Ahlian jokes so short? ... so Ahbengs can remember them!

This is Why You Should Not Insert Stuffs into your Xhole!!

This is why .....



So .. if you goto gym n u suspek the other fler got insert "stuffs" into his rectum wan ... then u farking make sure u dun stand behind him at all cost ok? ... u might never know when that fler will sneeze wan! kakakakaka!!!

Tenkiu brader Zewt for the "interesting" video! lol

In this country you must have her consent to have SEX with her!

I blogged about why everyone should have at least 1 hongky fwen rite? You know what other fwen u must have also? Its a french fwen!!! French is great peeple!!! their ingrish is also powderful like Hongky also!!! and the best part is ... they are the one who created french fries and french kiss!!! but still i prefer to fwen with french bcoz of their ingris ....

Here is why .... this is a story about a french in Amadika being charge of raping a girl ... and a note prior to reading ... "Hi" means I, "Hin" means in, Hit means it ... u get the drill?

One summer, a few years ago, a middle age French-Canadian man named Jacques decided to vacation on the coast of Maine. While soaking up some sun on the beach, a very pretty girl caught his eye and his sexual desires.

He immediately got up, ran to her, grabbed her by the hand and brought her to his hotel room. There he had sex with her and then sent the young lady on her way. She immediately reported this to the police and Jacques was arrested.

On his court date the judge asked him if he understood the nature of the crime he committed against the young lady.

Jacques looked at the judge with a bewildered look and said "Non!! Hi don't understand! Hin my country you grab de pretty girl, bring her to de hotel room, BOOM-BOOM, give hit to her den let her go! Hit's O.K.!!!"

"Sir", the judge said, in THIS country if you are to have sex with a lady, you must have her permission first, or it is considered rape. You must have her consent!"

After hearing this, Jacques turned around and mysteriously looked at the judge and exclaimed, "CUNSCENT!!! Hi got her cunscent!!! Hi got her cunscent on my fingers, cunscent on my mustache, hi got her cunscent everywhere!!!

P.S. : Many thanks to unclegoldfish cocka for this wonderful joke

Things u can do with Super Glue!!

You can stick paper to paper or paper to cardboard or paper to plastic or plastic to steel ... this goes on and on and the posibilities is limitless .... buden got this creative chick by the name of Tracy Hood Davis in wisconsin Amadika found a new way to utilise her superglue!!!

one of the Mistresses Therese Ziemann

This is what happened .... one day Tracy Hood Davis beh tahan her cheating husband (Mr. Davis) edi teamed up not ONE but THREE (3) of her husband mia mistresses (3 ok!!! 3 Mistresses!!! with pikchers below)

3 Mistresses Wendy Sewell, Tracy Hood Davis (the wife) and Michelle Belliveau

4 of them teamed up to Revenge on the hamsap Mr. Davis la!!! 1st itu Therese Ziemann lure Mr. Davis into a motel kasi him all sexcite dulu ... then she tied him up and handcuff him like dem kinky lidat la! make him super sexcited and in need of viagra lol!

Then then Therese Ziemann take out a gun n point at Mr. Davis while the other 3 lady come into the room together gether!!! JIALAT this time!!! With a gun pointed at his head ... Mr. Davis habe no choice but to let his wife + another 2 mistresses glue his penis to his right leg!!! KAKAKAKAKA!!!! Toking about creativity!!! who had thought of glueing a guy's *3rd leg* to his right leg wan?!!

U think i shitting you right? this time u still WRONG!!! this is what exactly happened in AMADIKA!!! later gibe u the link at the bottom of the post ....

Now ... lets think bout it ... if kkc alredi glued to your right leg ... do u think u will have trouble walking anot?

What about this ... lets say they dint glue the kkc to the right leg but instead the seal the only hole on your kkc .... which one more painful? kakakakaka!!!

Too bad they did not mention much about this Mr. Davis guy and no put pikchers also ... if not this barger sure fehmes overnite wan! KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!

Izzit me of this Mr Davis guy need to replace his spectacle? Did you look at those chicks yet?!! DID YOU?!!! Man i really felt sorry for this guy!!! KAKAKAKAKA!!!

[Pics n story source]

When Hamsap Ahbeng Go Interview

Not only Ahbeng but we guys in general loves to think ourselves as very lengjai/attractive one! Thats why u see guys very like to watch James Bond movies ... bcoz in James bond guys always very hansem one and the chicks throw themselves at him ... so after watch james bond movie ledi we will perasan abit lidat! Just like after watch Jackie Chan mia movie ... we suddenly feel our kungfu up-ED a few level ledi one lol!

And Today u all Ahbengs will learn how this perasan-ness can acherly farkED u up in an interbiu with a lenglui and a Botak mahlatlow!

Dont blink ok? and must watch till the end one! if not you dont understand geh! And most importanly ... dont Luff so loud! Later your kolik thinks you gila wan!!! kakakaka!