2 November 2009

Ahbeng Wannabe Hunter

There is this ahbeng fwen who suddenly asked me whether i know any place thats selling hunting refiles over mamak .....

Ahbeng : Eh u know where got sell guns for hunting ar?
Me : I think Kajang there got ... why suddenly into hunting now? last time ask u go fishing ... u die die also dunwan.
Ahbeng : I wanna get gf la.
Me: MCH u so lan random lor! U wanna get gf but u asked me where to buy hunting rifles? You taken your daily medicine anot?
Ahbeng : U derno meh? U how long no kam out kau lui edi?
Me : MCH! u siao ar? U forgotten I m acherly married izzit?
Ahbeng : You very Outdate la! now all chicks find bf hor ... they want look for hunter one.
Me : Why hunter?
Ahbeng : The chicks said ... hunter always go deep deep into the bush one! and Hunter always fire more than 1 shots! and hunter always eat what they shoot wan!
Me : LOL! mch ... They eat what they shoot? ... Ewww

27 October 2009

Wrigley's Extra Professional Mint, Powderful!

You know which is the tastiest part of our mouth is? Our tongue lah! Becoz it's the thing that kasi u the taste, n also the place where all the rubbish u eat goes through! Imagine if you have to kiss your gf after you eat all the crap and your tongue is white from all the left over… u dun briff you goan taste your gf’s tongue n see … u sure like it wan!

Seriously la … I tell you why izzit so impotent to habe clean tongue ler … clean tongue will minimize the bacteria count in your mouth one … lower bacteria count means more clean and fresh mouth feeling and cleaner and fresher mouth means more hansem!!! Hansem then can sap-sap-sui get chicks la!!!

Ok la lets say you alredi mehlid like me and dunwan get additional headache by having more chicks in your life and your wife don’t like frenchie one … but u still habe very valid reason on why you should keep your tongue clean ok? Have you sometime experienced the food not tasty enough but yet your other half who is having the same kinda food is saying that the food taste great? You know whats the problem is? You got dirty tongue that why!!! Your taste bud are covered with those white goey stuffs and that actually reduce your taste bud sensitivity .. hence your taste buds is not as sensitive as the other person whose got a clean tongue.

So what can you do to make sure your tongue is always clean? … last time the only way is either to scrap it or to brush your tongue when you brush your teeth … but I don’t like the idea of scrapping my tongue or brushing it … got this kinda gross feeling when brushing my tongue and its pretty vomit inducing one too!

So what other option do I have? Well … The other day got this my brader introduce to me Wrigley's Extra Professional Mint, damn shiok wan leh! This mint got come with ridged thingy on one side of the mint hor, you can suck suck n it can clean ur tongue for you automatically wan leh! So before you French kiss your gf … go suck first la!

Anoder funny reason on why you should have clean tongue is … have you ever seen vege stuck between someone’s teeth? … do u have the urge to actually dig it out for him or her? Now with a super clean tongue … I bet your gf would actually let u dig that piece of vege out of her teeth with it!! I kid you knot wan!! Dun fake fake ok? I know u got the same fetish as me wan!!! Admit it la!!

Why Extra Professional Mint? Because it is not just a mint. It got job to do wan, every biji of mint can clean your tongue clean with the dissolving microgranules. Achterly hor, what dissolving what micro thing also nebermind la, you just make the ridged part face your tongue, then you mai scrape your tongue against it lor. When at night and you hungry, pop 1 biji and start scraping your tongue, got some left over food for you as supper! Samo processed by your saliva for whole day ledi good for digestion, dun nid werry get fat!

Got 2 flavors wan, my favourite Peppermint and Forest Berries, must try, I like berries wan! The packaging veli convenient too, in a handy tin, I say hor, just throw to your gf n ask her put in her beg la, your pocket is to put manly things wan! Samo, the RM3k Burberry beg you pay wan leh! Time to make use of it! She will be happy also. Kasi Ah Lian eat ledi she can camwhore n show tongue, last time got white white stuffs, make people very suspicious what she had for supper, now pink pink ledi like baby skin you see also wana suck...the mint.

It is a sugarfree mint so if you have a weak set of teeth, then good for you lah! can suck as many as you want and won't rosak gigi. Just don kam to me with no teeth n kompren can ledi! I got good teeth wan!!

Ok lah, you get the picture, jung ji, eat ledi damn shiok. Maybe can throw away your tongue scraper that I bet u dun use wan. But lets cut the crap and start being as professional as the mints and help people scrape their tongue clean. Actually, it is to help remove food leftover from people’s tongue by playing this game.

I know it may look like the owner of the tongue is vomiting out the cute food, but it's not ok, it's the food that will get onto the tongue, so you kena kill them by rubbing a mint on them till they die and you get score. Rabba the food icon with the mint at the edge of the tongue to get bonus score. Why you wana help peeple clean their tongue? Because you stand a chance to win a Sony netbook!! So just put the mint at the edge of the tongue to get more scores lor!
Samo, if you play the game, can win a Sony netbook leh! Damn simple only, kam, Wingz Taikor teach u

1. First, you goto http://www.extratongueskater.com to learn how to play.



2. Get as high score as you can


3. Register and submit your score


4. And you’re on your way to winning the prizes!


So Easy! Mana Mau Cari?!

26 October 2009

Little Devil learn how to Order Roti Canai in Mamak

We train our kid about democracy from young age. We do lotsa things by voting one but of coz I kena inject some realism into the so called democracy by having the veto rights also la LOL!

Last sat nite i suddenly got this urge to eat roti canai so i asked both my wife n kid "Who want go yumchar?" immediately Lil Devil raise his hand and said "ME" ... but my wife not so keen she said "I dun wanna eat la .. i on diet!" but too bad ... its 2 against one ... we won! lol

Our regular mamak is not really far from our house, during the ride there Lil devil pop me a question ...

Lil Devil : Ahpa ... the roti canai with eggs is call what? I want that.
Me : Its call roti telur .. T... E...L...U...R gedit?
Lil Devil : TE -te LUR-lur telur ... roti telur .... roti telur .... roti telur *keeps repeating*
Me : Ok you know roti telur ledi later u go find the mamak uncle and order yourself ok?
Lil Devil : ok! roti telur ... roti telur *still repeating*

As we arrive at our fav mamak it was kinda crowded so me n wife go look for an empty table n fast fast "chup" it while Lil Devil seems to be looking for his fav mamak uncle to order his Roti Telur with him ... after looking high n low for the mamak uncle while mumbling he managed to catch him at the kitchen. From where we sit we can see that the uncle bend down to hear what Lil Devil gotta say and moment after that he burst out in very LOUD laughters!!! VERY VERY LOUD ONE till whole restoren can hear!!!

After awhile the Mamak uncle holding Lil Devil's hand and bring him to our table still giggling when he reached our table .... the mamak then said :

Mamak : boss lu mia anak manyak kelakar la *giggles*
Me : apesal aneh? ape dia cakap sama lu?
Mamak : Dia cakap dia cari saya suma tempat tarak jumpa ... die takut die lupa apa dia mau order la.
Me : Dia ade cakap sama lu dia mau order apa ka?
Mamak : hahahaha!!! ada! ada! boss ape maciam lu ajar die la?
Me : ape? die order apa sama lu?
Mamak : Dia cakap lu ajar die order ROTI TOYOL!!!
Me : KAKAKAKAKAKA!!! oi aneh bukan ROTI TOYOL la!!! ROTI TELUR LA!!! KAKAKAKA!!!

21 October 2009

Something All Malaysian Car Drivers Should Know

I frend of mine got into a little accident with a motorbike this morning while fetching her kids to skol. She was at this traffic light waiting for it to turn green, and so the light turned green and she stepped on the pedal and out of no where there is this motorcycle with a whole kamoung onnit (minimum 4 person on a bike, 3 chewrens without helmets + 1 adult) jumped in front of her like he got a lisen to go first and expect cars to give way to him lidat.

Too bad there arent enough time to brake and lucky for the bike the car were oni begining to move only, thus the momentum isnt enuff to send everyone on the bike flying tot he middle of the busy road ... still enuff to trip the kapcai and everyone onnit onto the side of the road. Lucky enough no one was hurt other than a damaged paria kapcai.

the bike owner demand compensation from the lady driver and not the one who broke the law the lady driver refused to pay the bike owner and in the end both party agrees to make polis report.

Now, in your eyes ... who is victim in this scenario? who is the guilty one? I'll make this easier for you guys ... i'll give u an option and you choose the answer ok ?

a.] Bike owner la! bcoz the barger no follow law ... over load + no helmets
b.] The car owner la! for obstructing the bike owner from doing his daily stunts n make everyone missed his show.
c.] Town planner la! who ask the barger never make spesel road for overloaded law breaking motocycle?
d.] JPJ la! who ask them issue lisen to these kinda motorbike drivers? (this is not applicable if the motor owner tarak lisen ok?)
e.] All the above!
f.] none of the above!


be honest with your choice ok ... what you gonna find out later will shocked the shit outta you wan!!!

I acherly discussed this topic in my facebook (thats why its wise to "fwen" me in your facebook bcoz i do lotsa crazy stuffs there wan lol) prior to this post in my blog.

These are the responses i got ... ignore some of those incoherent one ok? Igot lotsa looney fwens in fb wan! lol

Question : Someone told me ... if u involved in an accident with a bike rider /mat rempit .... doesnt matter if its not your fault ... u will still be on the wrong side?! Anyone got experience in this? Lidis kalo still got law meh?


David V : what law? UM-law?

Michael K : u r alone, they r in a grp . . .how ?

Wingz -> Micheal : not only mat rempit ler ... i mean motobike in general ... if they fler langgar u also kira ur fault wor

Kenny Y : if mat rempit alone, then you can fight back. but if a bunch, you are DEAD WRONG!

Wingz -> kenny y : not specifically mat rempit ... i not so much bother about mat rempit also bcoz most of the either takde lisen or moto curi ....


Sasha : they say if u bang motor no matter what u wrong. dun care rempit or not.. u wrong.

Kenny N : If you involve road accident with Arabs in Meddle East, for sure you are the only person fault no matter how.

Michael K : well . . . heard if bigger vehicles is always in the wrong

Wingz -> sasha : if motor wrong also I kena saman? he no lisen also i wrong?

Wingz -> kenny n ... we toking msia lar ... u out of topik ledi ... kambek kambek

Kenny Y : yeah. but try to stay out from their way. cos they might just want your car instead.

Kenny Y : yeah i am talking about malaysia la. deng!

Wingz -> kenny y : wat toking u?


Clare : Korek korek korek korek korek! There is this knock-for-knock law in insurance that states along the line that if you are driving a car and you knock into a motorbike, even if you are not at fault, the motorbike rider can claim your insurance for bodily injury apart from his repair and make you lose your NCB!


Wingz -> clare : yalor mch lidat mana fair? pkm!!! whois the victim here? those motor luan luan drive wan .. tarak follow law then accident edi ... the car driver also suffer. WTF LEH!

Clare : Their insurance cheap cheap only. Bike also cheap cheap. That's why cincai zoom here zoom there lor.

If they knock you, you kena saman. If they suddenly spasm and swerve into the path of your car also you kena saman. I wonder who pass that fucked up law hor. #$%^!

Besides, you seldom see people driving BMW and Merc or Ferari luan luan drive wan. It's all those cheap car/motorbike driver luan luan drive wan I tell u :P

Wingz -> clare : sigh .... which idiot pass this law wan?!!! its LAW like this that created MAT REMPITS!!!

Tan : Mat Rempit = Mat Cemerlang = National Treasure = National Pillars.

Ms Ong : Yup, heard my dad say it is.

Steve Austin : Hit them... then run like hell!!!

Trius Blades : can alwiz claim self-defence

C. Goh : it is.. sad sad reality... happened to my own folks.. :S
the blardy rempit tried to escape a road block ahead by making a u-turn and it hit my folk's car.. had to compensate the blardy idiot..something which i really don't understand..

There! I told you rite? the results will be shocking one!! You get penalised even tho its not your fault! Malaysia Boleh?! ... who made this kinda rules one? this is the reason why Mat Rempit is so daring! This law directly encourages Mat Rempit activities!

What say you?

20 October 2009

Jacky Cheung - Lee Heong Lan


Was browsing youtube for something that can calm my raging mood down and I stumbled upon this classic song by Jacky Cheung, Lee Heong Lan ... superb superb performance by the legend.




Suddenly got this urge wanna go sing karaoke lol!! got any Jacky Cheung fansee wanna do Jacky Cheung nite out anot?!