How Blackberry Hantam Apple iPhone!!!

Whats with the iPhone hype anyway? till now i also dunno whats so great about iPhone till an Ahlian fwen of mine (whois alredi in debtssss but willing to get more debtssssss) just to buy an iPhone lol .... then along the line Blackberry kam out to prey .... and the rest is being show in the short ads below ....




anden of coz apple (iPhone) hantam bek la!!!




In the end whois losing? Those baskets who is using iPhone and Blackberry la!!! kakakakaka!!! They using YOUR money to weck each others and all you get to do is watch then throw stupid words @ each others! kakakakaka!

Tenkot i m using Nokia! No-Kia izzit a parody to KIA korea brand? LOL!

New Ahbeng Vacob : Sei-Kwai-Low

I think everyone should get at least one hongky (hong kong peeple la) fwen! Really! its entertaining to have hongky fwen wan! Hongky is somewhat like Singkapohlians with bad ingrish but both also want face like siao!

So i got this visiting hongky fwen kambing to msia for hornyday and he told me he want see msia jungle and hes a nature person la so i bring him to bukit belacan in ampang for jungle trekking blardee early in the morning ... the thing about this hongky is .. he got bad ingrish ... he can tok to me whole day and i still derno WTF hes toking about 90% of the time. ( and i derno wats wrong with him ... this barger just refused to tok in canto ... prolly suffering from kiasuism )

So there we are in bukit belacan jungle trekking then this barger suddenly shout from behind me

Hongky : Look! i see a Sei-Kwai-Low there!!!

Me : Where?

Hongky: There!!

Me : Where got Gwai low there?

Hongky: Not Gwai low! Its Sei-Kwai-low

Me : niahma dun tell me this place got ghost ah! I freaking leave u here one ka!

Hongky: NO NO!! not ghost ... its Sei-KWai-Low!!! the small small animal climb tree one .. got fluffly tail one ... NOT GHOST AH!

Me : MCB!!! that is squirrel!! NOT Sei-Kwai-Low!!!

Hongky: Thats what i said! its a Sei-Kwai-Low!!

Now you know why its nice to have ingris sepaking Hongky fwen! kakakaka!

Success is ....

“Success is just like being pregnant ...

Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you were farkED!!!”

KL Survival Guide : Driving for Expats

If u are new to KL or you gonna be in KL pretty soon be it for holiday, to work, to get asian chicks (pls leave some for the local dudes ok? you angmohs come here kauED all the chinese chicks then angmoh chicks who wants?) and you thinking of driving yourself in the city then you came to the right place! I been living in KL as far as i can remember! in fact i never left KL in the 30 odd years of my life!!! So hear me out!

• 1. Traffic lights is only for decoration purposes! Yea u hear me right! Traffic light is not there to control traffic! they are just there to add some colors to the boring gray tar road! You do not need to pay any attention to them at all! No matter if its red, yellow or green .. all 3 colors means u can go! its ur turn to move! If you stop at traffic light you will get honked at and they will send their regards to your parents one!
• 2. dont pay attention to indication signal light! Its an unwritten rule in KL ... we have an unwritten prank that we play on foreigners, we use the indication lights to prank them! to make them think we gonna turn right but infact we actually wanna turn left ... or not turning at all!!! So dont get punkED ok?
• 3. Q jumping is ok by us! .... its like a game we play with each other, its like a tag game! car tag game ... if u dun wanna get tagged u let him in if you are tagged then you lose! But beware, if you were caught byt he referee during your tag game your will be fine a Maximum of RM50 on the spot! but then again that is highly negotiable ok?
• 4. Double parking is a sign that u got balls! If you dare to triple park then u got BIG BALLS!! The more cars n traffic u managed to block ... the higher your score! Only pussies dont double park!
• 5. We hate gentlemen! We think gentlemen is faggots & pussies! So .. dont give way! if you let them in .... they will look down upon you, send regards to your mader and give u "The Finger" when they got in! so to save watever machoness u got left ... die die also dun let them in!!!
• 6. Do not stop at STOP sign .... those signs were put there by the brake pads manufacturers to speed up their sales! They more u brakes the faster u replace your brake pads!
• 7. when you car broke down ... its ok to leave it right in the middle of the road without any warning signs to warn incoming traffic about your stalled vehicle. This is to give them the chances to learn evasive manuevers! this kinda chance dont come by everyday ok?
• 8. Motorcycles is invisible! Yea ... it IS!!! you just pretend you never sees them at all!!! along your journey you would prolly bang onto at least 8 motorcycles and killed at least a dozens riders but its ok ... we got millions of them and majority of them dont even have a driving license!
• 9. Banglas crossing the highways is also a good chance to pratice your targetting system! those bargers is slick! try to hit them at any cost!!! Dont worry we got plenty fo them too! this burgers keep kambing back one!!! same applies to indons and pakistanis!
  
• 10. Its invitable that you will meet up with our natinal pride the "Mat Rempits" the local stunt hero on a bike ... if you hit any of these its double score for you!!!

There u have it! Top 10 things u must know as an expats if you wanna be driving in Malaysia!!! Dont say I no TELL YOU!!!

Killing the Monday Blues

ok ok i got something to cure your monday blues pobem wan ....

I just learn this morning thru 98.8 lehlio stesen that the direct translation of Eskimo to cantonese reads as

"Oi-C-Gay-Moh"

WTF lol i thot Gay Moh is gay monster in canto ... niahma no wonder i been sked of eskimo peeples since my childhood time lol!

Then some magazine in Amadika did a survey about retired lich peeples from fortune 500 kompenis wan ...

They asked them lidis "if let u start over again ... what will you wanna impoof this round?"

The top 10 retired richest ahpek taukeh have the same answers, they said if they are given a chance to do it all over again, they would wanna spend more time with the family ... especially their chewRens instead of putting so much of their time in their businesses.

FARKIU LA! u farking lich ledi of coz u tell grandmader story la! what if u poor like me and u having trouble putting food on the table ... u gets all the time u want to spend with your family/chewrens (provided u got enuff money to feed them with) .. the only activity u guys can do together gether as family is prolly play "starve-to-death" then u can spend lotsa time with each other la! KNN!

Do you think in this world got one photographer who is into taking pics of shits? ... I mean ... look at your own shit! its a masterpiece!!! everytime got different different items innit arranged in such a way that like no like any other shit in the world wan!!! its one UNIK SHIT!! aint that worth framing up?! KAKAKAKA!!!

I think today i eat wrong medicine ledi la ....