31 January 2005

Chap Sei Kai - Rassemblez le Poulet Mort

*disclaimer : the whole story is re-anacted, the story line is preserved and professional actor(s) is being hired for this re-enactment. Hidup mati in this story do not have anything to do with anyone out there whether he/she is still alive, half dead, coma-ing, immortal or dead liow. Children are advised to read with adult's supervision. Might contains some degree of cruelty, racistism sexistism or thaipusam. Viewer discretions are advised.

A note prior to the story. We do use walkie talkie to communicate between upstairs (office) and downstairs (farktory).

Starring :

Mutu : Domin* pizza delivery man
Jo : aku mia sales co-ordinator
Ye : aku mia purchaser
Atan : Bangla logistic manager (storeboy)
Ramu & Azhar : Atan mia mahchais (kuli)
Liz : Domin* pizza mia sales co-ordinator
Wingz : me (The Hero!)

The Story

Last Thursday 4:18pm

Wingz : *thoughts - hmm.. better order something to eat ... tonite sure work late wan* picks up phone to order pizza *dial 1-300-xxx-xxx*

Liz : tenkiu for calling bla bla bla, what can i do for you sir ?

Wingz : I wanna order some pizza what kinda package do you have, like combo set n stufs ?

Liz : Can i have your phone number sir ?

Wingz : 37xx xxxx

Liz : Thank you Mr. Wingz bla bla bla .....

*after 10 millions years later*

Wingz : I wanna order combo 3.

Liz : That would be 52.40 + tax sir, do you have small change sir ?

Wingz : i got i got ! just send the bloody pizza will you ? i m growing beard alredi !!!

Liz : your pizza will arrive at your place approximately half an hour from now

Wingz : *look at watch - 4:30pm* Okay Thankiew.


Half an hour later ....

Wingz : *intercom Jo* oi girl i ordered pizza come ledi anot ?

Jo : What time you order wan ?

Wingz : 4:30 guah ... why ?

Jo : if they dint arrive within 30 minits from the time you order you will get free pizza when you order next time ler ... you dunno meh ?

Wingz : i dunno this kinda ahso things one wor ....

Jo : #$%^&*#@!!!!

Wingz : oi lu girl la ... dun curse lidat later ghost see u also lari what else men ? aiyoo ....

Jo : now ledi 5:20 la ... u go call that idiot and see whether he kena langgar lori anot laaa me also hungry ledi.

Wingz : oi who say i got order for you also ? you tak malu one ka ? kakakaka

Jo : if you didnt order my share ... i will spit on your pizza when it arrive *evil grin*

Wingz : sigh ... women ... kecik kecik ledi so evil ....

Jo : Wat kecik ? where kecik ??? mei sei kor izzit ?

Wingz : soli kakak ... ampun kakak ....

*Ding dong~~~ *

Jo : got peeple pless doorbiau ler ... i think your pizza come liow

Wingz : open door go see ... i get the money ready

Jo : ok hes here dont forget to wutt him the free pizza !!! if u dun wutt then u no balls wan!

Wingz : wah lau eh ai meh ? say me lidat meh ?

Jo & Ye : Pussy !

Wingz : ok ok ... eh .. mister mutu izzit ?

Mutu : yes boss ?

Wingz : before i pay you har i mau ask you where my free pizza la ?

Mutu : Boss what free pizza boss ? you ordered combo no.3 dei.

Wingz : macha your kompeni say if you arrive later than 30 minutes after i order you kena gibe me free pizza one wor !!!!

Mutu : Boss belum 30 minutes yet boss.

Wingz : dei thambi! i ordered at 4:30 now 5:30 ledi ... apa bulum 30 minits lagi ???

Mutu : ..... but boss i receive your order at 5.05pm boss how lar ? not my fault boss ....

Wingz : dei! itu not my pobem wokeh ? itu lu sindiri sort out ... mana my free pizza ? faster kasi !!!

Mutu : Boss dont like this boss, i kena 12 free pizza ledi boss this month ... kompeni give 5 free every month only ... extra kena potong gaji boss .. have mercy boss ..... thousand apology boss ....

Wingz : * use walkie talkie to call downstairs* Atan over Atan ....

Atan : Yes boss ? over .....

Wingz : Atan you see the pizza motor downstairs ? over ....

Atan : Yes boss, why ? over ...

Wingz : Atan you take ramu and azhar kasi modify itu motor become basikal for me over ...

Atan : Okeh boss !!! Roger !

Jo & Ye : wuahhh you so man O~~~~

Mutu : Okeh boss okeh ... i gibe boss i gibe !!!

Wingz : Atan Hold mission dulu over ...

Atan : Roger that!

Wingz : dei so how now ?

Mutu : *hesitantly* Ok boss i give you this voucher the next time you order you tell them you got this voucher they will give you one free regular pizza *long face*

Wingz : ahh ... lidat good larrr ... *Atan Abort mission over*

Atan : ten four boss over n out !

Wingz : nah here your money, next time dont stop by the mamak store for teh tarik anymore larr ...

Mutu : *grumbling grumbling*

*after Mutu left*

Jo : Wuah boss you very the cruel ler ... kesian that man hafta kena deduct gaji .... what lar you ...

Wingz : Oi! you two force me to wutt him one wor !!! gimme back the pizza you 2 ekor cicak dun eat!

Jo : *open mouth wide wide ready to spit onto the pizza*

Wingz : ok ok u win u win ... i share i share ....

*note to myself - tomlo put rats poison into the water filter .... :P

Hiaks Hiaks Hiaks .... FREE PIZZA !!! CHAP SEI KAI !!!

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