29 November 2006

Fluctuation la!

Mahcibai .... Linpeh made me rap in his xmas sing song plojek!! he forced me wan!!! if not nice dun fark 9 me!!! I spent 3 freaking hours on that 12 seconds rap! mahai ... I told him i m not rap material but he dun belif!!!

This post i dedicate to all Malaysians who is currently overseas working or studying or aeropane jumping or cheok chou-ing .... some of you might experience this before ... if not ... well maybe you wanna try it someday lol!

P.S. Those of you who dint get the joke, read my explaination at the bottom of this post ok?

If you derno yet by now .... nvm I will tell you again!

Last time Linpeh after finish secondary skool his oldman send him goto America to further his studies and that time exchange rate between Ringgit Malaysia and US dollar is at RM2.50 to USD1.00 and that time Linpeh first time go oversea so he abit ahbeng lidat la!

First first Linpeh go this Currency Exchange booth in New York with RM2,000 and he got USD850 from the money exchange guy ... after Linpeh press press his calculator to make sure he got the correct amount, he left the currency exchange booth.

2 Weeks after that Linpeh go back to the same place again, this time Linpeh bring RM5,000 and by his calculation he knew he should get at least USD2,000 from the Currency Exchange booth.

When the money clerk hand him his money Linpeh count count only got USD1,900 only! So Linpeh also beh happy ledi la! He confronted the clerk and asked him :

Linpeh : Hellow! Why you gimme less??!! Last time i got 2.5! Gimme two thousand Lollar! I want my two thousand Lollar!!!
Clerk : Fluctuation !!!!
Linpeh : What???
Clerk : Fluctuation!
Linpeh : PARDON ME?!!! *Linpeh ask again in disbelif*
Clerk : What is wrong with you asians? Fluctuation!!! Fluctuation!!! Fluctuation!!!

Linpeh hear that word ledi suddenly very very very the tulan, he took a few step back from the booth and shout loud loud



Linpeh thot he heard the clerk said "FARK YOU ASIANS!" instead of fluctuation!

Tribal Chief Favourite Fruits

One day Ace, Ahpek and Boss Stewie went into the jungle to fish but somehow they got lost and couldnt find their way out. Later they were all caught by a group of cannibal tribesmen, who later threaten to eat them alive!

They pleaded and begged for the mercy of their leader Linpeh not to eat them, so ngam that day Linpeh dont feel like eating meat... instead he felt like eating fruit wor! So Linpeh agreed to let them go IF:

Linpeh : Ok la! Let u all go also can but today i suddenly feel like eating fruits .. who can bring me my favourite fruit, he will be freed!

3 of them agreed with this term and off they go into the jungle again looking for fruits as offering to Linpeh.

15 minutes later, Ace is the first one to come back.

Ace : Taikor Tai tai ... i bring you these sweet langsat I hope they are your favourite fruit!
Linpeh : Ermm... ok bring to me ... i want try!

Linpeh then took a bite at the langsat and spit them out

Linpeh : Ptuii!!! Kanneh!! sour wan!! Guards!! shove all this remaining langsat into his a$$hole!!!

As instructed Linpeh's guard begin shoving langsats up Ace's a$$ one by one till finish. Ace is screaming like fark with all the langsats inside his a$$.

At this time also Ahpek come back ... Ahpek bring along a few mangosteen to be offer to the Chief of the tribe, Linpeh.

Ahpek : Oh wise chief, i brought with me the sweetest mangosteen in the entire jungle just for you. I hope they are your favourite fruit!
Linpeh : guard! bring them to me! I wanna taste!

Linpeh then took one bite and spit it out also:

Linpeh : Ptuii!!! rotten wan!!! Guards!!! shove all the mangosteen into his a$$hole!!!

Poor Ahpek kena shove with mangosteen up his a$$, but instead of screaming in pain Ahpek beginning to laugh histerically!

Ace : Mahai lu sot plug ledi izzit? I kena langsat also pain like fark!! sommo kena mangosteen!!! u still can laugh!!??
Ace : MAHCHOWHAI!!! luff wat lan luff? Tell me la!
Ahpek : My a$$hole very pain but i kenot tahan la!! No matter how pain my a$$hole is .... everytime i think about it I will luff.
Ace : Think about what?
Ahpek : Just now on the way back ... I met Boss Stewie ...
Ace : Then?
Ahpek : Hes holding 2 DURIAN!!!

None of the above actors are hurt in the making of this story. Tenkiu ....

28 November 2006

Poem : My First Time .....

Got this very the erotic poem from my mailbox and since I m currently having a blogger's block I thot i'll share this erotic poem with you guys.

The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were alone
Just she and I

Her hair was brown
Her eyes were too
I knew just what
She wanted to do

So with my courage
I did my best
And placed my hand
Upon her breast

I trembled and shook
And felt her heart
Slowly she spread
Her legs apart

I knew she was ready
But I didn't know how
It was my first try
At milking a cow

What would be thinking of la??!!!

27 November 2006

So Malaysians, Wassup?

We in Malaysia have got an entire new meaning of Wassup.

When you ask a Malaysian wassup? You gotta be prepared to receive some of the most outrageous answers .... more possible responses below :

So, Wassup?

1. Our A$$tronaut, he'll be going UP to the space to do some "important" experiments! Those kinda experiments if not done will have us all in killed in a matter of months!! Its important that we know how to play Batu Seremban, make teh tarik and print batik while in space. If not we are all DOOMED!!!! Thanks god we got our own Teh Tarik A$$tronaut!!! RM95 mils gone UP in smokes too!

2. The Keris is UP! Showing a keris to the public is not a threat ok? its a symbol of unity! News has it that everybody had been frantically buying kungfu swords and bring it with them everywhere they go. Its no longer an offense carrying metal weapon and flaunting them in the public anymore instead its a sign of "Unity". Har Har Har!

3. We got a New Palace coming UP too! This Palace cost only RM400 millions only! This one for our King to stay one ok?? The councillor palace also RM8 millions la!

4. GST is UP! altho it has been announced that the implementation date for GST will be annnounce later but most prolly its kambing soon la! Mana mau lari?!!! Next time kencing also kena pay GST LOL!

5. Toll is UP! The Star SMS alert reports that toll prices for 5 highways will go UP in 2007 as the government cannot afford toll subsidies anymore. Yar pity the gomen for subsidising our toll rate for so long, its time we relieve them off the burden ledi la .... the money is better use elsewhere ... like building derno what sport complex at derno where or send a$$tronaut to space or build a new palace or train more Mat Rempit Cemerlang!

6. Electricity UP!

7. Water UP!

8. Petrol UP!

9. Blood Pressure also UP!

With so many things going UP, Who say we are not progressing?

You can make a different! Yes YOU CAN!

You Decide Your Future!

3 Millions voters not registered yet!!! go Register now!

Its your rights to vote!

Got the message? :)

Homemade Egg Tart

I made Eggtarts! *again*

Father, mum, bro n sis came over for dinner again, they asked me to make eggtarts for dessert again and also this post were also requested by a few bloggers who read my post last week.

I tried to take as much picture as I can, but sometimes ny hands are occupied and greasy plus there is no way i can handle the camera with one hand and work with the other therefore ... there will be some missing pictures. So much for step by step illustrations huh? I did the best I can and I have no regrets lol!!

Homemade Egg Tarts :


Pastry/Tart Shells
* 1 cup castor sugar
* 3 cups all-purpose flour (any brand will do)
* 1 cup butter (or margarine of any brand)
* 1 or 2 eggs, beaten (depends on the size of the eggs)
* 1 dash vanilla extract

* 2/3 cup white sugar
* 2 1/2 cups milk (can use milk powder or condensed milk)
* 9 eggs, beaten
* 1 dash vanilla extract

Tools Required :
1. Measuring cups
2. Wooden fork
3. Tart tray
4. Sieve
5. Large bowl for mixing
6. Oven for baking

Preparation time : 20 minutes
Make : 24 to 28 tarts depending on thickness of the pastries/tart shells.

a Set of Measuring Cups

The Pastry/Tart Shell

1 cup of multi purpose flour

Strain your flour with a sieve so that your flour will be evenly mixed

Add 1 cup of sugar to 3 cups of sieved flour

Measure 1 cup of margarine, put it into the mixing bowl

Start mixing all 3 ingredients thoroughly

Mix all the flours, castor sugar, butter with a wooden fork. This is how the whole thing would look like, like bread crumbs.

Add eggs onto the mixing bowl

And half teaspoon of vanilla extracts

Into the mixture.

Mix again (with hands), make sure the eggs are evenly distributed and well mixed. You should stat to get a greasy dough outta the mixture. If the dough is too dry then add abit more butter/ margarine. If too greasy add more flour.

Dint take pic of the finish dough because hands are bloody greasy at that point.

Get ready your Tart tray (preferrably teflon coated non stick type), take a small amount of dough and place it at the bottom of the tray and push your way up. At first you might get confused of the amount of dough required for each tart but as you progress you will be able to guessed the correct amount of dough required to make a tart. Its kinda like a trial n error ok?

A well shaped dough, if the bottom shell is too thin just add more dough to it and patch it up.

6 well shaped dough! All done by hands

The Fillings

9 eggs, lightly stirred, do not beat till air bubbles got into the eggs as the bubbles will greatly affect the way your tart looks! They will still taste the same tho ... I think lol!

Add in half teaspoon of vanilla extracts.

Make 2 1/2 cup of milk (by mixing 3 tablespoon of milk powder with hot water), then dissolve 2/3 cup of castor sugar in the milk while you are at it. Cool to room temperature before adding eggs into it. Sugar content can be reduced to suit your taste but please make sure all the sugar are fully disolves before proceed to the next step. Its also very important to make sure the milk solution cool down to room temperature before proceeding to the next step (you dont wanna cook your eggs before you pour them onto the pastries/tart shells).

Pour your lightly beaten eggs onto the milk solutions through a sieve ( This is to make sure that all the unwanted partciles are not included into your egg tarts fillings and the end result is smooth juicy egg tarts!) and stir lightly to make sure they are properly mixed.

Pour the mixtures of eggs, milk, sugar and vanilla into the pastries/tart shells you made.

All pastriesy/tart shells filled with eggs.

Preheat Oven at 230°C for 10 minutes and bake at 180°C for 15-20 minutes till golden brown. Its natural if the eggs fillings are puffed up a lil bit ... dun panic they arent gonna explode ok?

The Results :


Mouth watering home made eggy tarts!

Taste better than any egg tarts you bought outside!

There you go, a simple recipe for homemade egg tarts. No special tools/machines required, you dont even need any electrical cake mixer to make these tarts, no weighing machine required neither. Everything are very basic and can be prepare by hands. Fast and easy to prepare plus healthy & cheap too!

Ideal as dessert or snacks anyone could enjoy. At the time of this article there is only 8 tarts left from the 26 tarts i made.

Another wonderful recipe bought to you by Rojaks Daily .... Homemade Egg Tarts.

Tune in again next time for another episode of Wingz Can Bake!

Others Episode of Wingz Can cook :
  1. Wingz Can Cook : Pan Fried Prawn with Creamy Cheese Sauce
  2. Wingz can Cook - Homemade Carrot Ramen
  3. Wingz Can Cook - Homemade Egg Tart
  4. Wingz Can Bake - Wingz's Home Made Pizza
  5. Wingz Can Cook - Pocket Fish Fillet
  6. Wingz Can Cook - Chinese Sausage Claypot Rice (Larp Mei Fhan)
  7. Wingz Can Cook - World Simplest Western Food
  8. Wingz Can Bake - How to Make Basic White Bread
  9. Wingz Can Bake - CNY Cookies

25 November 2006

China This Week

I think lotsa people, other than myself who have this peculiar interest in what is happening in and around China. Lets face it .... China is coming up fast and hard, so whether you are a friend or a foe you would like to know whats happening to them and keep up with the latest news rite?

Well these are the happened this week :

Those greedy baskets had turned the legendary Yellow River (huang he) in China to Red River. It happened twice this month! Talking about coincidences huh?

No wonder they allocated US$175billion to improves their water, air and land pollutions.

Pollution turns Yellow River red

A stretch of China's Yellow River turned red for the second time in a month because of pollution, media says.

Waste water from a heating station near the city of Lanzhou contaminated 1km of the river, the country's second longest, according to Xinhua.

A similar spill occurred in the same area at the end of October.

China has some of the world's most polluted rivers, and is accused of overlooking the protection of the environment to develop its economy.

[Read Full Article]

Chinese Goverment is starting to pay serious attention to pollution problems and to show that they mean business they start whacking those baskets who found to be guilty of polluting the country.

China punishes river's polluters

China has punished officials responsible for a toxic river spill which threatened the water supplies of millions of people in China and Russia.

An explosion at a PetroChina chemical plant in Jilin province in November 2005 caused about 100 tonnes of benzene to enter the Songhua river.

Administrative punishments were handed down to the province's state environment protection chief as well as senior PetroChina executives.

No criminal charges have been brought.

Water supplies to 3.8 million people in China's north-eastern Harbin city were cut off for five days after the leak.

Polluted water is a growing problem for the rapidly industrialising country.

Correspondents say that 300 million people in China do not have access to safe drinking water.

In July Chinese authorities pledged to spend 1.4 trillion Yuan ($175bn) over the next five years to improve water quality, and cut air and land pollution.

[Read Full Article]

Finally they realised the fact that they are killing themselves!!! Phew! I thought they'll never learn! Abit late i reckon but better late than never rite?

Still on pollutions, now even Hong Kong is feeling the pinch of China's industrial pollution when out of no where Hong Kong is experiencing smog problems (similar to our haze problems from indonesia) but Indonesia does not belongs to us therefore we can fark them no free but China is Hong Kong's boss ... how to fark? LOL!

HK feels pressure over pollution

Concerned scientists and public policy experts in Hong Kong have formed a group to pressure the government into taking action over air quality.

They say World Health Organization guidelines for air quality objectives, released in October, should be applied in Hong Kong.

The government says it plans to set its own standards in two years time.

Meanwhile, businesses are warning of the high cost to Hong Kong's economy caused by worsening air quality.

Members of the group say more than half the particles causing the pollution and poor visibility come from factories across the border in China.

[Read Full Article]

To help reduce pollutions, a group of enviroment hereos came out with a smart invention, The Green Chinese Coffin! Its made of cardboard! Hopefully its waterproofed ..... no doubt it could be set ablaze much easier compares to the wooden one though, you just gotta pray that nobody set fire to the coffin accidently during the funeral service.

Hong Kong promotes green coffins

The Hong Kong government has come up with a plan to help the environment and cut crematorium congestion at the same time - the eco-coffin.

The corrugated cardboard coffins produce fewer harmful emissions when burnt, something which would help to improve Hong Kong's pollution-hit air.

They also take less than half the time of wooden coffins to burn, cutting waiting times at busy crematoria.

[Read Full Article]

Enough about pollutions, as a country with rapid growing economy .... industrial pollutions will not be the only problems that they will face, they will also be social illness

China's HIV/Aids cases jump 30%

China has announced a big jump in reported cases of HIV/Aids, officials and the state media have said.

More than 180,000 people are now confirmed to have the infection, a rise of nearly 40,000 cases in a year.

Authorities say the increase is partly due to better testing and reporting of cases, as the government has made tackling the disease a priority.

The figure is below China's estimate that total infections, including unreported cases, have reached 650,000.

Health officials also warned that HIV/Aids appears to be spreading from high-risk groups to the general public.

A total of 183,733 cases have been reported so far this year, up from 144,089 last year, according to health ministry figures.

The ministry has attributed 37% of the reported cases to drug abuse, and 28% to unsafe sex.

Officials say these two causes continue to pose the greatest danger, because effective measures to discourage unsafe behaviour are not yet in place.

The BBC's Rupert Wingfield-Hayes, in Beijing, says China has the world's biggest sex industry.

More than 10 million young women are thought to work in the country's brothels, but by the health ministry's own estimates, less than half of them ask their clients to use condoms.

[Read Full Article]

WOW! China has got the world largest sex industry!! No wonder so many Ahpeks from Malaysia always goto China to do "business", with a package like this no wonder China economy is growing so rapid!

So nowadays if you goto China to do "business" you might come back with a little bit more than that .... you might brought back Aids as souvenir too!

Aids is only one part of the price to be paid on the way to becoming one of the world largest economic power, the other sexual diseases like sexuality crisis will start to appear like mushroom just after a rain strom.

Right after the success of a gay hotline, the lesbian hotline is following its footsteps. They are coming out in millions! China is prolly the best place for gays n lesbos to find their other half in the near future.

China opens first lesbian hotline

China has opened its first telephone support helpline for lesbians, state media has reported.

The free service launched in Shanghai is staffed by lesbians trained in counselling and offers psychological help and support, Xinhua agency said.

The initiative follows the success of a similar service for gay men in the country.

Homosexuality was listed as a mental disorder by the Chinese authorities until 2001.

Homosexuals suffered persecution during the Mao era, and correspondents say they still face frequent discrimination.

"Many lesbians in China are pressured into marrying men and end up living miserable lives," sociologist Li Yinhe said.

China does not keep official statistics on homosexuality but the country's health authority estimated there were 5 million to 10 million gay men at the end of 2004.

Some experts believe the true figure is around 30 million.

[Read Full Article]

30 millions lesbians!!! 30 MILLIONS!! thats more than the total population of Malaysia!!! ..... if this is not scary, i dont know what else is! They can even form their own country if they want!

Other than social diseases there will also be corruptions, its kinda like the Macdonald's value meal .... the fries, coke and the burger all come in the package. You can buy a value meal if you dont want the fries or the coke. Corruptions is the fries lol!

The difference is, if you were caught in China for corruptions, you will gonna get it! But if the same thing happened in our country .... well I guessed you already know the answer by now.....

China finds pension fund abuse

China's National Audit Office says its investigations have found that as much as 7.1bn yuan ($900m) of pensioners' money has been misused.

It said the money had been used in overseas investments, construction projects and unauthorised lending.

Private pensions are almost unheard of in China. Most people rely on state schemes.

Any crisis in China's pension funds could have important political consequences.

So the leadership in Beijing is thought to be considering plans to tighten the governance of China's fractured social security system.

Until recently, China's state pension funds were controlled locally. With little independent auditing or oversight, these provincial schemes have been open to abuse.

[Read Full Article]

In the past, businessmen will fly to china, source for the products they wanna buy and import it to their own country, that is not the way these chinese do business now. They are no longer taking the proactive approaches, nowadays they will pack their bags and get on a flight and go on a selling spree in another country by themself. At this point of time, they are invading Africa with all their "end of the line stocks"

China's ambitions in Africa

China has stepped up its business presence in Africa, but is being criticised for not pushing for improvements in human rights and governance in some countries.

There has never been a better time to buy flip flops in Dar es Salaam.

At the Kariokoo street market they come in all shapes and sizes: wedge heels, sequins, buckles.

Flip flops for work, and for fashion.

But at Tanzania's only flip-flop factory, these are dog days.

All but a few varieties of Africa's flip flops now come from China and local companies cannot compete.

Mr Ghaddar claims end of line stock from Chinese factories is "dumped" here, sold for less than the cost of materials, dodging customs and import duties.

[Read Full Articles]

Looks like China got lotsa freaking problems up their hands right now, Im wondering will that influence the speed of how fast they could move forward?

This is Wingz reporting live from my studies room here in Malaysia.

How? this kinda reporting chun anot?

24 November 2006

China's Latest Tow Motor Bike

You might seen alotsa tow truck before, but have you ever seen a tow bike?

Well, you prolly could catch one towing illegal parked cars in China.

Tow Bike spotted!

Tow Bikes Drivers Hanging out

Towing Mechanism

Tow Bike in Action

Lucky in Malaysia dont have yet ... if not sure Mat Rempit will use it for illegal race wan! I know Mat Rempit kenot afford this bike la! But ArmNohhh can mah!!!

Where Ahlians Originated From?

Just a short one ...

Ahbeng : Where does Ahlians originated from?
Ahock : Singapore!!
Ahbeng : Why singapore?
Ahock : You derno meh? Singapo"Lians" mah!


P/S : Singapore Readers dun tulan me hor ... joking oni mah! :P

23 November 2006

Child's Custody & Vending Machine

I was chatting with this lady the other day about how fragile relationships are nowadays. Divorce is almost a daily event, in fact it is already a daily event!

So, there is this couple, Ahbeng & Ahlian getting a divorce and also fighting in court for the custody of their only child, Ahock.

First it was Ahlian on the stand, shes telling the Judge why she should be the one to get the custody to Ahock because she brought Ahock into this world, she had Ahock in her for a full 9 months, she look after Ahock since hes a baby and taught Ahock everything he knew while Ahbeng just brings home the money and also herpes.

Then the Judge call Ahbeng to the stand to let him tell everyone why he thinks Ahock should be with him instead of Ahlian.

Ahbeng is abit nervous ... he stand there for nearly 5 minutes thinking of what he should say but still nothing came out from his mouth yet ....

The the Judge looked at Ahbeng and said "Well?.... Ahbeng, if you got nothing to say then we will award Ahock to your ex wife Ahlian"

Ahbeng hear that ledi lagi panic! He start looking everywhere for some kinda idea and suddenly he saw this can of coke on the Judge's table in the court room, it striked him like a thunder! Bingo! He thinked to himself.

Ahbeng : Dear Judge, I derno much about law and custody but may I ask you a question?
Judge : Yes you may ....
Ahbeng : Your honor, the coke on your table .... you bought from the vending machine outside in the lounge?
Judge : I dont see the relevance of this coke and this custody case, but yes I got it from the vending machine out in the lounge.
Ahbeng : Your honor .... if you put your money (mani) into the vending machine and got coke come out .... does the coke belongs to you (Ahbeng) or the vending machine(Ahlian)?
Judge : Case Close!!!

So true, so true! .... if you dont agree then next time dont buy coke from vending machine la! its not yours what?! LOL!

22 November 2006

My Smelly Treasure Map Pillow

I dint sleep well for the past few days, I been having insomnia ever since my wife throw away my favourite pillow!!!

The pillow that has been with me since my chilhood! ..... The pillow with all my self made treasure map onnit!!!

She complained my pillow very smelly and she cant sleep with the aromatic stench lingering around the bed .... after its gone shes sleeping like a baby but Im the one who cant sleep now!

Die die ... the new pillow is just too stiff .... too high and smell so the artificial .... i want my pillow back!!! but too late ledi .... she secretly thrown it away without telling me :(

My treassure map all gone!!! the map i drew with my saliva since my teens .... ALL GONE!!!


Am I the only weird fler here or you all share the same experience too? How long would it take for me to get used to my new pillow huh?

I really really missed my old pillow leh!!!!