Farmer ordered a Milking Machine.
Out of curiosity he tried it on on his penis & had a wonderful orgasm, but could not remove it. So he read the manual & faints(Pengsan). It said, "AUTO RELEASE AFTER 2 GALLONS".
ANT IN VAGINA
Wife : Doc an ant entered my vagina. Please help and take it out.
*Doctor removes her panty and starts making love to her.*
Wife (angrily): What are you doing?
Doc: This is the only way. I will drown the bastard.
A SAD STORY
A little boy was so jealous of his new born brother that he put poison on the nipple of his mom while she was asleep. Now comes the sad part - the next day Dizzy the driver died.