Modern Chinese Wisedom - Chun Jee's Art of War

In the modern world we living in today war is inevitable, be it war at your work place or war at your home or war with your so called "friends". Men will goto war because of a few things : -

a.) Women
b.) Money
c.) Face
d.) Family
e.) Country

But 90% of the time its because of either women or money, we at Rojaks has vast experiences in modern warfare as such we came out with the new "Chun Jee's Modern Art of War for dummies" guide to aid those who has never been able to figure out how to thrive in a modern warfare.


Observes these new Laws of modern warfare as each and everyone of them have a deep deep mia meaning, master it and we gerenti you suckses in every battle you encounter!

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2. Don't look conspicuous, it draws bullets.
3. The easy way is always mined.
4. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
5. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
6. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. When you're ready for them. b. When you're not ready for them.
7. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
8. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
9. A "sucking chest wound" is natures way of telling you to slow down.
10. If your attack is going too well, you definitely have walked into an ambush.
11. Never draw fire, it tulans everyone around you.
12. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
13. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.
14. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver or stupider than yourself.
15. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in a combat zone.
16. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
17. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder or the fler who sold the RM50 2 tonne car jack for RM5,700 whichever comes first.
    

May the force be with you! If you need more guidance pls sms CHUNJEE to 967969 and we have trained propesionels to guide you. Each sms cost is RM1 but we will charge you RM412 because its the trend now to charge alot more than we used to charge last time ok? Blow ar?