Shaolin Monks and Chicken Worm

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I m gonna attempt a joke never before tried by master comedian worldwide, what I am gonna do will require super ketiak power and enormous big balls! So, kids dont try this at home HECK! dont even try this anywhere! Ima trained professional! Oh of coz this is 18SX, if you are under 18 yrs old ... please get lost now ok?

WARNING : Sensitive religious joke .... do not continue if you do not feel comfortable with this kinda jokes.

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Long long time ago lives a tycoon name Ahpek in a small village beneath the Shaolin mountain. This Ahpek really hamsap one and he loves Chickens! Everyday he would call the chicken without fail wan! Because Ahpek is the richest man in the village he managed to get supplies of fresh daily chickens without any problems also becoz of this hobby of his Ahpek is also nicknamed Chicken Worm by the villagers.

In chinese 'Chicken Worm means :- A fler whos addicted to hookers/whores'

And there is this Shaolin temple on top of the mountain (Of coz since this village is located beneath the Shaolin moutain there tend to be a Shaolin temple on top of the moutain la!) The Grand Shaolin Master has been hearing complains about Ahpek doings and made a statement to condem his rotten hobby, this pissed Ahpek off tremendously.

One day Ahpek with a few of his followers and a bunch of hookers goes up the hill to look for the Shaolin Master. Upon arrival at the main entrance to the shaolin temple Ahpek demanded to see the Shaolin Master. Ahpek, his followers and all the hookers are then lead to the main kungfu hall where they shall wait for the arrival of the Shaolin Master.

A few minutes later the Shaolin Master appeared and imediately Ahpek jumped out and said to him :

Ahpek : Grand Shaolin Master! I heard you tok bad about me! I do not belif that you and your shaolin monks are so holy and could not be tempted with sex! I challenge you to a SHAOLIN SHOWDOWN! If I lose I will forever forbid myself from calling chicken anymore! But if you lose, you would have to let these hookers rape you for 3 days and 3 nights!

Shaolin Master : I accept your challenge! You may choose up to 5 monks including myself for this Shaolin Showdown.

Ahpek : Ok! I choose you and 4 others monks who is standing over there at the entrance one.

Shaolin Master : As you wish, I will now ask my assistant to bring out the ultimate tools for this test.

Ahpek : OK! I accept your condition!

Shaolin Master : Cocka! Go and bring out the Sacred Kukuciao’s Rings at once!

Shaolin Master : Each and everyone of us shall be totally naked with the “SACRED KKC’s Ring” around our kkc. Then we will have all these hookers undress in front of us all at once! The KKC bell will start ringing once the erection starts. The duration of the whole showdown would be for 20 minutes! No participants are allowed to leave before that!

Ahpek : I accept! ok lets start!

All 6s of them including Ahpek go buck naked and hand the Sacred KKC's ring on their KKC and those hookers beginning to slowly and seductively removes their clothing 1 piece at a time. 3 minutes down the line Ahpek is abit arouse ledi ... at the 7 minutes marks the bell to Ahpek Sacred KKC's ring beginning to make some "Ling! Long!" sound ledi but all the monks KKC's ring still pretty much silent, not even a single movement.

12 minutes down the line Ahpek sacred KKC's ring is ringing even louder than before, this is due to the massive erection Ahpek is having but all the monks still remain cool and their KKC's ring still havent produce even the slightest sound yet.



Its now 17 minutes into the showdown and Ahpek Sacred KKC's ring is virtually jumping up and down like a man riding a wild horse lidat! Ahpek 's KKC went totally wild jumping up and down uncontrollably and the bell is getting louder and louder every seconds! The monks still remained cool and calm like nothings is happening lidat.

Finally The Sacred KKC's ring on Ahpek 's KKC couldnt take anymore abuse from Ahpek and drop onto the floor due to the excessive movements (also due to Ahpek kkc's size too small for the sacred ring la! sshhh... you dint hear this from me ok?)

Ahpek look at his Sacred KKC's ring on the floor, he then look at all the other 5 monks, their kkc's ring still intact, infact they havent move at all! Ahpek really could not belif this! This is impossible! How can the monks not aroused by those sexy, sluty hookers??!!!

Pissed and honry Ahpek step forward to pick up his Sacred KKC's ring ...... as he is picking up his sacred kkc ring he heard alotsa BELLS is ringing simultaneously behind him! All at once!!!

WHY??!!! What did those monks saw that gaves them instant erection???!!! WHY? WHAT??!! HOW COME??!!!

You wanna know the answer? Scroll down la!

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AAAHHH!!!! So, this is what those monks saw!!!!




WUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Note : This is a fiction story made solely for entertaiment purposes only. No one dead or alive orhalf dead or half alive are associated with this story. Even if there is such a person then it is purely by coincident!


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Rojaks Daily's New Header, Which one you Prefer? Vote Now!

At Rojaks Daily we would like you to be happy and of coz your opinion matters to us, as such we would like to know what you think of our new header, there is a poll after the below images for you to cast your vote in, so go ahead! Make Mai Dei!

Old

New

The New header is the artwork of a wonderful lenglui The Angel if you needed a new custom header made specially for you totally free of charge then get in touch with her now!

Hafu a Lice Dei!

OH! My Harm Yoke Jung! Rice Dumplings Festival

Harm Yoke Jung in cantonese or Bak Chang in Hokkien ( i guessed) if translate directly into english it would means "Salty Meat Dumpling" or simply Rice Dumplings

We cina Ahpek celebrates the Rice Dumpling Festival (Tuen erm jit or Duan Wu Jie) on the 5th day of the 5th month (chinese lunar calender la), Celebrate what you may ask? I dunno ler ... we chinese Ahpek "shit no come out" also we can celebrate wan LOL!

ok ok jokes aside .... there is actually a myth/story behind the celebration one .... I copy n paste let u read ok?

The Story

Many moons ago, in ancient China, patriotic poet and statesman Qu Yuan threw himself into the waters of the Milo River in protest against corruption and injustice. Fishermen, to protect the young idealist's body from being devoured by demons, beat drums and gongs and threw rice into the water as offerings. In memory of this occasion, every year during the period surrounding the fifth day of the fifth month of the lunar calendar (the day Qu Yuan drowned himself) Chinese Singaporeans hold dragon boat races and eat dumplings. The races are said to represent the search for his body.

The dumplings, or zongzi, little packets of glutinous rice wrapped in bamboo leaves, are thought to have their origin in the bamboo tubes of rice thrown into the river as offerings. To keep the river dragons from eating them, the packets were tied with brightly-coloured silk threads (which dragons fear).

So .... thats the story huh? hehe solilar I also first time read only kakaka!!! Dun hate me bcoz i m cina ciplak can??!!!

Anyway Harm Yoke Jung is one of my all time favourite food! I could eat 5,6 or 7 pcs a day ... depending on how big they were la.

So today you could not imagine how happy I am to see 3 pcs of Rice Dumplings on the dinning table.


Me : Wuahh!! got HARM YOKE JUNG!!! I like!!!!
Bini : Oi! Oi! dont touch! not for you wan!
Me : Then for who?
Bini : For Wednesday prayers wan.
Me : WTF!!! you bought only 3 pcs for the prayers??!!! Why cant you buy more??!!!
Bini : If I buy more then ppl will blog n tell the whole world how I burnt his money liow la ....
Me : #@$%%&*&*!!!! Harm Yoke Jung how much a piece only??!!!! Where can kira lidat wan??!!!


You think the GOD will be pissed at me if i curi 1 piece to eat anot??

ARGHHH!!! I WANT MY HARM YOKE JUNGssssssss!!!!!!

If you got Harm Yoke Jungs to spare pls email me ... i will reply with my postal adress wan .. tenkiu!



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Ahbeng and his Panda Eyes

You know what is Panda eyes? Panda eyes or black eyes is when your eyes kena punched then after a day or two and you will get blue black eyes a.k.a. Panda Eyes!

Panda Eye

As usual my jokes will evolve around Ahbeng and this time our Guest Star is Doc

One day Ahbeng goto Doc with 2 panda eyes, so Doc also ask him :

Doc : Wuah Ahbeng you joined geng fight ka? U kena whack quite teruk you know?
Ahbeng : No la! I got these from in the church wan!
Doc : Church? who da hell weck you in church?
Ahbeng : A fat aunty .....
Doc : HAH? what happened??! tell tell!
Ahbeng : I was kneeling at prayers that time then when prayers finish ledi we all stand up lar, there is this fat aunty in front of me, I saw her skirt got caught in between her buttcheeks and I did what a good christian would do .... I goan pull her skirt outta her buttcheeks lor.
Doc : Then?
Ahbeng : Then she weck kau my left eye la!
Doc : No wonder la!!!! Eh wait a minit ..... she whacked you left eye only what? how come your right eye also kena blue blackwan?
Ahbeng : After she whacked me hor .. i thot about what I done lar then i realised maybe she purposely put her skirt between her buttcheeks wan, so I felt sorry for what i did to her la .... I try to undo those things i done wrong one ler ..... so, I put her skirt back into her buttcheeks lor.

WUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

10 Life's Simple Pleasure

My taikor Cocka tagged 9 me with this meme (does anyone knows actually why izzit call a meme ar? sounded like a gayish name for a tag). Anyway This is one of those simple meme that stupiak people like me would love to do.

here goes!

10 Life's Simple Pleasure

1. If Petrol would stay the same like 10 yrs ago and gomen tarak corruption so we dont hafta pay the more to feed some greedy farker and buy him helikopter, nice cars and nice hotels!
   
2. If Electricty would remain the same price like 10 years ago so we dont have to fork out additional 12% to feed some greedy hamkahlinks.
3. ALL Monopoly businesses in Malaysia would make lotsa profit so they wont ask the gohmen to slaughter us when they wanna buy new helikopter or new personal island or new cars. (I really derno how da fark monopoly business can lose money also)
4. If everyone are allowed to voice their dissatisFARKtion by gathering PISSfully in front of KLCC without being beaten up till head also bocor by those *Mafia*
   
5. If the trehpik Pohlis would be more efficient in controlling the bad behaviour of Malaysian Driver and make driving on KL road alot safer rather than always do illegal road block and ask for *u no wat la!*
6. If only the number of TOLL-ed road are as little as 10 years ago. 10 years ago as long as your car got petrol u can go anywhere within KL even tho you dont have any money with you but now, you can have a full tank of petrol but if you no money in your pocket you aint going anywhere far dude!
7. If the road is wider than 10 years ago, then I wont be stuck in the traffic jam for a freaking hour before i hit home. Numbers of cars are increasing on a daily basis but the road remained the same size just like 10 years ago.
   
8. If Cost of living remained the same like 10 years ago. 10 years ago 10 bucks are enuff to buy 4 economy lice + 4 cina teh ais, now 10 bucks not enuff to buy breakfast for 2 also!
   
9. If my oldman is a rich latuk, then i dont hafta worry about all these!
   
10. If I m still a kid then i dont hafta worry about all this shit!

If only life is as easy as this .... *sigh*

I wanna tag 9 somebody this time! I wanna tag sama :
1. MenJ
2. Fat4
3. Mack Zul
4. MageP
5. Rajan

Voices From The FIFA World Cup 2006 Herbert Gronemeyer Celebrate The Day

I found it! FIFA World Cup 2006 Official Song in Yingrish wan!!! This song is called :

"Celebrate The Day" by Herbert Gronemeyer



Link to the song HERE

PARTY TIME!!!!

Please make sure you are adequately prepared for this FIFA World Cup Hibernation Party, Here is the Check List :-

1. 10packs x 30 sachets x 50gm Big Nescafe 3 in 1 Rich? - √ Checked!
2. FIFA Ahbeng Song? - √ Checked!
3. FIFA German Song? - √ Checked!
4. FIFA Yingrish Song? - √ Checked!
5. Bookies Telephone numbers - √ Checked!
6. AhLong Telephone numbers - √ Checked
7. Ambulance Telephone numbers (just in case of heart attack) - √ Checked!
8. New 50" Samsung Plasma TV - √ Checked!
9. Wife safely locked inside the room - √ Checked!
10. Kids all safely locked too? - √ Checked!
11. Fake MCs with random serial numbers all Scanned and Printed? - √ Checked!
12. ADIDAS Football ready? - √ Checked!
13. Favourite Jersey Washed ledi? - √ Checked!
14. Maggi Cup Noodle masuk stock ledi? - √ Checked!
15. Friends Invited ledi? - √ Checked!
16. Bought Enuff Snacks and Coke? - √ Checked!

If all the above checked ledi then you are ready to RAWK N ROLL!!!!

FIFA here we come!!! OLEE OLEEE OLEEEE!!!

Rojaks Daily Bull-eh!!!!

I was told by a friend that Rojaks Daily were in Top 10 position in Malaysia's Unofficial Top 70 Blogs so i checked it out and indeed Rojaks Daily is ngam ngam in Top 10

Full Story LINK

But if u take a closer look, got lotsa more powderful blogs thats not listed in there wan, no wonder Rojaks can sapu Top 10 la! if you follow Technorati list Rojaks is only Top 12 that one also excluding the other more powderful blogs like Drliew.net 5xmom Lengmou KYspeaks and alot others. If they are included I think Rojaks Daily cant even get into Top 20 list wuahahahaha!!!!

Anyway, can masuk the top 70 list also kira dem happy ledi la ... crappy blogs lidis also can masuk Top 70 list Gua Caya Sama lu bebs!!!! Telimakasi sams Latuk Syed Syahrul Zarizi also for susah susah compile itu list kasi gua shiok kejap, tapi Latuk, itu list tarak complete la lol!


Ok lar dun tease 9 me ledi lar! lemme kembang awhile can anot? Top 10 wor! mch KEMBANG PUKI!!!

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Rojaks Guide on How to Get RICH During FIFA World Cup 2006

Today Wingz gonna teach you all, a guranteed way to get RICH during this coming 2006 FIFA world Cup football season.

I know at these time around there will be lotsa gambling ghost will surface, these gambling ghost will pawn or sell their own mother if they have to just so they could have money to bet on World Cup matches.

After the 2006 FIFA World cup alotsa of gambling ghost and pukis bookies will end up being homeless, penniless, parentless, family-less, left arm-less, left balls-less, carless, or even wifeless.

Bcoz im such a nice guy, I dun wanna see none of the above happened to anyone also, thats why today I wanna teach u a sure way to get RICH!!!

Fengshui master would con you 10 years-8 years but wingz will show u result imediately wan!

PRESENTING Wingz's gerentik way to get RICH!!! *Drum rolls pulez!*

Scroll down laR! MCH! wanna get RICH dont be so farking lazy can anot? Must put abit effort only can get RICH one mah! diu!

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. abit more only!!! you wanna get RICH anot??!!! scroll faster!!!!
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TAADAAAAA!!!!!

Get your own Nescafe 3 in 1 Rich today!

No gimmick! no hidden agenda! Just get RICH!

NESCAFE 3 in 1 RICH! at a supermarket near you!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

DIU! bet Wat fark lar bet! Safe your money, Save your family and save your life la and save your parents la! Dont Gamble!



If you can win one geh all those bookies all die 9 ledi long time ago la! U think those big big bungalow the bookies is staying in comes from where one?

This kambing FIFA world Cup 2006, keep your money and buy yourself lotsa Nescafe 3 in 1 RICH lar! GERENTI you RICH one geh!!! If you want kaw kaw RICH then u put 2 packet instead of one ok? LMAO!

Drink ledi can stay up all night watch football!!! OLE! OLE! OLE! OLEEE!!!!

Pulez Leemember .... the more u bet, the smaller your house will bekam and the bookies house will get bigger. LOL!

This is anoder community message brought to you Free-of-Charge by Rojaks Daily, you daily entertaiment pusher.

FIFA 2006 World Cup Official Song - In German

FIFA 2006 World Cup Official Song - In German

As promised I said I will post the Official FIFA 2006 World Cup song as soon as i get it right? Here is it!

I derno what da fark hes singing but its pretty nice piece of song! Now with this song you can watch your Favourite matches with this song playing in the background!

Wuahhh!!!! dem blardee shiok I tell you!!!!



Are you READY??!!!! TURN UP THE VOLUME GUYS!!! BLAST YOUR SPEAKERS!!!! FIFA WORLD CUP 2006 HERE WE COME!!!

Come come who want give me half ball? who want give 1 ball? who give 2 balls? all kam!!!! Gimme all your money!!!!

OLE!! OLE! OLE! OLEEE!!!!

of Flash Flood in KL and Massive Traffic Jam !!!

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Related Post : Kuala Lumpur Flashflood Again Even with Smart Tunnel!! (11th June 2007)


5:30pm Kuala Lumpur
FLASH FLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!! mahkahai!!! All the longkangs not working!!! Those farkers know how to ask for this cukai, that cukai but longkang also cant fix! Mahakahai !!!!! Ask a few banglas come cut grass then charge kau u a few hundreds buck! lidat I also can do lar!



We paid so much cukai but we gotta live with crappy drainage systems??!!!! OI! who da fark telan all da money ledi??!!! Faster tell!!!! YAMAFULAT!!!



Mintak luit panai lar! Makan luit lagi panai! Cakap manyak, kerja tarak! pukitiang lu! ini naik, itu naik! Today because of your imcompetencies I waste half a tank of petrol! Can i farking sue you for it?! not to mention my 2 hours stuck in the jam!!! if there is 10,000 cars on the road today how much would it all worth? (time, money, petrol, phycological tortures and vehicles wear & tear) Who gonna pay for all that??!!! You pay ar? MCH lu!!!


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Ahbeng Death Sentence

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Before this I always mixed up the different between sentence and sentence .... lemme explain.

1. -A grammatical unit that is syntactically independent and has a subject that is expressed or, as in imperative sentences, understood and a predicate that contains at least one finite verb.
2. -Law. A court judgment, especially a judicial decision of the punishment to be inflicted on one adjudged guilty.
   

See the different anot? Its very important that you dont get them mixed up in order for you to understand this joke ok?

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Once upon a time in a land far far away there is this fler call Ahbeng. Ahbeng were caught for smuggling drugs into the country, he was found guilty and the judge punished him with a death sentence ... death by the electric chair.



After a few months being locked up in the jail come one day the jail Warden go into his room ask talk to him.

Warden : Ahbeng, tomlo we sending u to the chair ledi .... its my responsibility to ask you this ... You want any prayers before you go? I can arrange for you if you want.
Ahbeng : Eh ... yes I want!
Warden : You what religion wan?
Ahbeng : Err ... actually i dont have religion one ler ....
Warden : No religion how to arrange prayers for you la?
Ahbeng : Err ... can I have one now? I mean I m gonna die tomlo right? the least i can do now is to have a religion so that when i die ledi they know what style to use to handle my body mah.
Warden : Ok, fine with me! What religion you want now?
Ahbeng : Err got Taoist priest anot one?
Warden : Soli! no Taoist one! Only got Chsritian Priest, you want anot?
Ahbeng : aiyah cincai lar! Christian also Christian la!

So the Warden left Ahbeng's cell and wet on to do the final preparation for Ahbeng's Departure.

Then day finally arrived, Ahbeng were very the scared when he realised that hes gonna die very soon. As they tying him up the chair Ahbeng beginning to cry histerically like hes gone crazy lidat. Finally the Priest walked in and he put his hand onto Ahbeng's forehead and said

Priest : Be not afraid my child as god is forever be by your side, you will not be alone anymore.
Ahbeng : Thankiu father, I feel alot better now .....
Priest : Dont worry my child I will be here with you until the whole thing is over .... be brave!
Ahbeng : Father you ... you .... you promised to be here with me untill the end?
Priest : Yes my child I promise. Do you have any last request I can help you to fulfill Ahbeng?
Ahbeng : Erm .. yes father, there is one thing....
Priest : What izzit Ahbeng?
Ahbeng : Later when they about to pull the switch, will you hold on to my hand and keep me company, will you?
Priest:

WUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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Since we are toking about sentence there is this story which is totally unrelated with the above one. Its actually more like a fact than a story.

Do you know what is the shortest sentence in this world? The shortest sentence is this world is "I am"

If "I am" is the shortest sentence in the world then, Can you tell me what is the longest sentence in this world?

Wanna know the answer? scroll down lor!

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The longest sentence is the world are "I do" this one you say ledi ... korang korang kena jail 20-30 years lidat wan!!! LOL!!!! You say long anot lar!!!!

WUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The Rojaks Mini Poll - You Tulan/Marah/Angry Anot?!!!

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Man this just gotta stop alredi!

Just now you all got watch the news anot?? Latuk Semi Value is alredi toking bout Toll Rate!!! We gotta stop this madness!!!!

The Toll would be next followed by Telekom and LRT and Bus and Taxi and Indah Water and Cukai Tanah and Cukai pendapatan and APs kreta and APs handphone and Petrol Price and Inflations and Depressions and Starvation and who knows what they can think of?

Very soon we would have nothing else left for ourself anymore!!! Dont be a farking pussy ok? let them know we farking tulan ledi OK ANOT??!!!

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I derno why Rojak's readers dont like to type/leave comments one or maybe I m the ONLY one who is unhappy about the hike in electricity charges?

There is another reason tho, maybe they are just allergic to typing! Yea! thats why!

So, I came out with a solution, instead of typing out your comments and revealing your precious idendity I placed a mini poll on the sidebar so you can just "click" on it, no need to type anything! Hows that for convienient sake?!


You see that Mini Poll at the left hand side bar there? yup! thats the one! go and choose which answer you prefer then click on the button that says "Fark'em Now!" and you are all done! its that simple! Unbelievable isnt it? SEE?!! its not that difficult! Havent you had enuff of this bull shit alredi?!! So drag your lazy ass over to the poll and vote damnit!!!

The gomen suppose to be working for the benefits of their citizens, not the other way around ok?!

This is another community message brought to you by Rojaks Daily, your community Bull dog!



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Of Electricity Tariff Increase and Being Fark-ED

I was gonna write something very very very very very the funny tonite! but my mood are gone when i login and read Linpeh post about Electricity going up.

Of coz i hope its just a joke so i decided to visits PPS just to double confirm this piece of bad bad news and I found several other people toking bout it to!

May 24, 2006 14:59 PM

Lim Announces A 12 Pct Average Increase In Electricity Tariff

PUTRAJAYA, June 24 (Bernama) -- Minister of Energy, Water and Communications, Datuk Seri Dr Lim Keng Yaik Wednesday announced a 12 percent average increase in electricity tariff effective June 1, 2006.

--BERNAMA

Link

This is what crossed my mind when i found out bout the increase!

• -WTF wei?!!! We havent been able to fully change our lifestyle to adapt to the latest increase of the petrol price now the gomen is asking us to change our lifestyle again???
• -WTF wei?!!! Do "they" really care about any of us?? They dont pity us one huh?
  
• -WTF wei?!!! Where does all our Taxes money went to?!!!
  
• -WTF wei ?!!! Where to find more money to fund theirs expensive hobby lidis?!!
• -WTF wei?!!! I alredi negative balance every month how to fork out more??!!!
  
• -WTF wei?!!! the last 4.4 billions you guys finish liow now kambing back for more izzit?!!
• -WTF wei?!!! Do they seriously think we are stupid and blind??
  
• -WTF wei?!!! How come Monopoly business also can lose money??!!!
  
• -WTF wei?!!! How log more you wanna squeeze us lidis??!!!
  
• -WTF wei?!!! After Sarawak election only you announce increase la!! kanneh!!!
  
• -WTF wei?!!! Do they really thinks that our economy is very the strong ka? Can simply increase price?!
• -WTF wei ?!!! Use energy more efficiently?? Why dont you show me?! start with you lar! diu! tok is cheap bcoz supplies exceeded demand!
• -WTF wei?!!! MAHAI!!! increase what fark increase?!!! Goan fark yourself lar you farking daylight robbers!!!! POOHKEY! LUNCHEOW!!! HAMKAHLINK!!!
  

Those who is FARKING TULAN and FARKING BEH SONG about the increase say "AYE!" let them know we not stupid and we really unhappy ledi!!!


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24 May 2006

Tech Tags: electricity Malaysia Inflation

Of Bus Driver in KL

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Altho i m staying in KL but in reality I dont stay in KL .... I mean i very the seldom goto downtown one ... especially shopping areas. Lately bcoz of my dad are hospitalised in IJN i gotta travel on a daily basis to the middle of the town sometime even twice daily!
Lemme tell you this ... just now my car nearly got RAN OVER by a fucking bus travelling at more than 100kmh on KL road!!!! MAHCHOWHAI!!!!!

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One day 3 sohais die ledi then goto heaven, lemme tell u bout these 3 sohais first.

The 1st fler name in the queue is a Humanitarian worker call Lepton, 2nd fler name is Misai n hes a bus driver in KL (mahai izzit my fault that all bus driver I met got misai wan?) and the 3rd fler is a pastor name Stewie.

Its lidis one ... the 1st time u go into heaven u kena check in at the front desk area 1st, there u will meet a Bhai jaga that will give u a house and a car. The house n the car is determined by all the good stuffs u done in your lifetime, kinda like a measurement lidat la. The bigger your good deeds then you will get a bigger car and a bigger house. These are complimentary one ler of coz ... its given FOC one by the heaven management.

Before that all 3 of them are being told what to do at the front desk liow, they need to step up, announce their name, their occupation and how they die then wait for their *rewards* to be announced.

Being the 1st in line Lepton step up and speak in a loud loud voice.

Lepton : Lepton Tea! Aid worker in Africa and die of AIDS.
Bhai jaga : hmm ... impressive ... here, take this set of keys, these are the keys to your brand new proton Gen2 and 3 bedroom condo.
Lepton : tenkiu Bhai sir!

Next would be Misai the KL bus driver. He step up and shout very loud :

Misai : My name is Misai, I am a bus driver in KL for 20 years and I die in a bus accident Sir Bhai! !
Bhai jaga *flip flip the papers checking his records*
Bhai jaga : OHH!! you are that fler! nice to meet u leh! here here ... take these key to your brand new Porsche and 53 rooms bungalow with all facilities.
Misai : WHOA!!! Tenkiu sir Bhai! *grins*

Upon hearing what the Bhai jaga given to Misai, Stewie the Pastor dem confident, since that paria bus driver also can get Porsche and 53 rooms bungalow, he will get at least also get a Ferrari Enzo and a hotel to stay in one la.

So he confidently step forward and announced proudly :

Stewie : I m Stewie kia! the pastor for St. Mehlee for the last 38 years! I die of old age!
Bhai jaga : Wah piang eh! dun shout so loud can anot? .. nah take these keys to your kancil and your apartment. ok now go play far far!
*Stewie tulan*
Stewie : Kanneh! kancil and apartment only??!!! oi I pastor you know??!!! you know how many people i convert ledi anot? how many good deeds i done anot?? I at least deserve to have a Porsche if not Ferrari with a Palace to stay in for my services! Are you sure you have not mistaken me with the bus driver just now?
Bhai jaga : Diuuu!! I tell u har! we got many komplen about you ledi ... they all complain ur preaching very boring. So you preach that time they all are sleeping!
Stewie : Diuu!!! then what did the bus driver did to deserve all that luxury?
Bhai jaga : aiyah ... lemme tell u lar .... the way he drove, no one dare to sleep ... they all prayed!

WUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Dont say Wingz no tell you, if you see KL bus coming at high speed then fast fast give way!!! if not you will got chance to see that Bhai Jaga sir ledi!

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FIFA 2006 World Cup Official Song by Hacken Lee

I dont have the official English or German song yet, but aceone118 gave me this cantonese song which is suppose to be the official 2006 FIFA world cup song in Canto by Hacken Lee.

I m sure if you watching all those World cup match with this song playing in the background dem got mood wan la!!! If u dun belif u try and see!!!

Nah! this is the song, you try n play while watching FIFA la!


Anoder community sports activities seponsored by Rojaks Daily, your daily entertaiment blog and stress reliever too!

FIFA World Cup 2006 Excel Matches Chart - Free Download

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A short update on my oldman's condition, Hes outta ICU and into HDU now, hes is healthy and strong. The first thing he said to us when we go visit him today are "Why the hell you all come so late? I been waiting whole day for you all liow!" LOL! ... See? hes very very well indeed! Thank you everybody for your prayers and well wishes! I m forever indebt!

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Ok back to business ledi! ... today its all about FIFA World Cup 2006 in Germany. I got an excel file that is loaded with lotsa informations that you can use to keep track of all the happenings in FIFA World Cup 2006.

You can also choose whether you wanna print it out or just update it directly from the file itself. This chart comes complete with who vs who matches and wherre they are played and on which date how many ongoing matches etc ... ( eleh! dont pretend u derno la ... this are those kinda infos you would need if you are gonna bet heavily on these matches )


This chart is a must have for all football fanatics!!! So what you waiting for? go and download it la! (download link is at the bottom of this post! so scroll down lar!)


In the mean time I will be importing lots n lotsa 3-in-1 instant coffee mix from Brazil coz i heard those stuffs really can sell well during FIFA World Cup!!!

Below is the piktures of the newly built Official FIFA World Cup Stadium in Germany, so for people like us who cant afford to go to Germany .... just look at it and drool la! LOL!














Link to FREE download of FIFA 2006 Excel Chart CLICK HERE
Another community message bought to you by Rojaks Daily, your daily stress relief!

This post is also a spesel dedication to crazygrrl bcoz shes the only chun chick i know whois crazy bout football too!

Credits :
- Pictures courtesy of my buddy 9393
- Excel Chart courtesy of Taikor Cocka

The By-Pass Operation Were Very Succesful

"The operation were very smooth, dont worry" Thats the first sentence I heard from the surgeon when I went into ICU to see my father. Hes still unconcious but the words from the Surgeon were enough to relief us from our worries.

We will hafta wait until tomorrow before we could see our father again, before we leave the nurse in the ICU asked us for our contact numbers. We gave it to her without much objection and she told us this when we were about to step out of the ICU "Please pray to god that we dont hafta call you guys" Looks like my oldman situation is still kinda shaky .... we only can hope and pray that we dont get any phone calls tonite from IJN.

A millions thanks to all your prayers and well wishes, I m forever in debt to all the nice souls out there. I dont know what else to say other than THANK YOU!

I did not managed to get much sleep at all, i dozed off beside my father's bed for almost an hour while waiting for the nurse to bring him into the operation theatre. Other than that its a whole day of waiting, waiting and more waiting. The whole thing last about 6 hours or more and that was the longest 6 hours of my life! Every minutes felt like an hour! Everybody waited anxiously for some kinda news coming out from the operation theatre.

I think I would write a guide or an e-book or a post on this whole by-pass experience to aid those who are clueless (like how I was in the beginning) so everyone could be better prepared for this kinda situation.

Well that would be abit later ... right now I just wanna crash and play dead for a while.

I took some pictures of my oldman just before he went into the operation theatre ....

Weekend Pictures - Lil Devil in IJN Visiting Yehyeh

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Weekends is the only day when kids are allowed to visits patients in IJN, I took Little Devil to see his Yehyeh (Grandpa) hoping it will lift his spirit and tomorrow's operation will be a smooth one.

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My Oldman feeding pau to Little Devil

Little Devil looking kinda upset on my oldman's bed.

Little Devil Performing stunts to make everyone luff.

Little Devil with Grandpa's Puasa sign ... my oldman kena fast for tomorrow's triple by-pass operation. This pic made my father laugh very loud.

Yehyeh I go home la! I kenot come tomorrow because they dont let kids into ICU one. You fast fast recover and play with me again ok? I love you Yehyeh!

Everyone in the family is praying for a successful operation today.

Its gonna be a looonnnngggggg loooonnnnggggg day. Pray for my oldman please ..... tenkiu