27 May 2005

The BEST job in the world!!

  • Applicable to male only, (REAL MAN!) others nid not apply.
  • Must have gentle and delicat fingers, surgeon's hand is an added advantage
  • Must be able to handle gossips and fame
  • Must be able to work long hours and over the weekend
  • Must be mobile
  • Must be willing to work at site
  • Must be able to perform
  • Must be in love with this kinda work
  • Single
  • Handsome
  • Tall
  • Loves music
  • Strong, sexy and muscular pair of hands
Those who think he meets with the above requirement, are hereby invited to apply for the post of TITS/NIPPLE TWEAKER ! LOL!

I KID YOU NOT !! i got pic to prove that this profession does exist !!!

click on photo to enlarge

Is this the best job in the world or what !!!???

26 May 2005

Ladies ! this will keep you safe and warm at night !!!

The previous entry is for meant hamsups men and this one is dedikated entirely to lonely girls/ladies/women. It even comes in 3 different colors and maybe it even comes in different clothing too!!

I dunno where you can get this but i reckon it will make u feel vehlee secure and warm in the nite :P I think they shud make it with leg(s) then you girls can wrap your legs around it *wink*

Err ... kam to tink of it ... i think its also suitable for a certain kinda "guys" orso LOL! *wink*

25 May 2005

Breasts Ogling Makes u Live Longer!!! YESH!!!!

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Ok Obviously the article did not turned out to be quite readable. So I m Gonna Re-type it Manglish style! Here Goes!

An EyeFOOL a day keeps the Doctor away. Staring at women’s tetekz if good for health. Ogling over women's tetekz is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.

According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out" declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.

Dr. Weatherby and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so.

The study revealed that after five years, the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease. "Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Weatherby.

"There's no question: Gazing at tetekz makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."


22 May 2005

Hello! How Are you ?

I was at my frend's doter 1 yr old birday just now. I arrived at that place around 7:20pm and the food werent served not till 8:30pm. I dunno why but could someone tell me why cina ahpek always late for this kinda dinner one ?

I think must be kiasu, everyone purposely arrive late so they dont hafta wait so long, must be!!!

Buden its not bout the dinner i wanna tok bout, you see halfway thru the dinner after the 3rd course (which is suckling piglet) i sardenlee felt cramp kat my stomach, den apa lagi la ... i getup and walk calmly to the toilet tahan-ing what was suppose to come out.

Finally i got into the toilet and to my suprise this restoran does have a nice and clean toilet. I found myself a cubicle in the middle of 3s. I close the door behind me and that is when i felt the vibration of my handphone. I said to myself "shit" who da fark would call me at a time like this ? Anyway i managed to struggle between preparing for the launching of "operation bomb tokyo" and answered the call at the same time.

"hello! how are you taukeh?" i said to the caller, its Dato Chin who was calling me. In the midst of toking to Dato Chin i vaguely heard some noise coming from the cubicle next to me.

I think hes saying "i am fine, tenkiu" i am concentrating on what Dato Chin have to say to me so i try to ignore the voice from the next cubicle. "Taukeh what are you doing now larrrr?" i asked Dato Chin and again there is this voice coming from the next cubicle "I am doing what you are doing lar, we both are crapping!"

*wah lau eh this guy thot i am toking to him kot?*
i thot to myself nevertheless i try not to let that voice divert my attention away from the conversation i am having with Dato Chin. "I need to see you ASAP, i got very important matters to tok to you bout" said Dato chin on the phone. and i replied "Can i come to your place after dinner?"

The guy in the next cubicle answered "Well, later my frend is kambing over to my place and i think its not so convinient ler"

At this point i really beh tahan liow, i cant concentrate with so many things going on around me. I am trying to shit while answering a phone call and this guy in the next cubicle thinks i am toking to him. So I decided to send a clear message to the guy in the next cubicle by toking out as loud as possible and this is what i said "DATO CAN I CALL YOU BACK LATER ? I AM ACTUALLY IN THE TOILET RIGHT NOW TRYING TO SHIT AND THEN THIS GUY IN THE NEXT CUBICLE IS ANSWERING TO ALL THE QUESTIONS I JUST ASKED YOU, THINKING THAT I AM TOKING TO HIM!"

Damn! what kinda sick bastard would tok to a stranger in the next cubicle while trying to shit ??!!! FUCK !!!!

21 May 2005

T shirt Campaign / Ideas

In conjunction with the ex-HOT topic posted by

KennySia - Project Petaling Street T-Shirt Ideas
Kenneth Chiew - Project Petaling Street T-Shirt Ideas 2

I also have my own story / pics to share, altho they are not directly related to PPS nevadaless they are equally hillarious!

Here Goes!

I wish these were my brains!

You're a notti boy, goto my room!

Stop Staring at my tits! (touch them!)


20 May 2005

Why Singapore Government restrict Chewing gum

Do you know the reason why Singapore government restricts the citizens not to chew gum?

Here is the story.... One day Lee Kwan Yew went to Thailand and had lobster at the dinner with the Thai King.

After Lee finished, he asked the King.
Lee: Your Highness, what can you do with this lobster skin?
King: We cannot do anything with it, we just throw away.
Lee: Oh, no. In our country, we send it to the factory and produce some prawn cracker.

Then Lee had an orange. After he finished, he asked the King.

Lee: What can you do with the orange skin?
King: We cannot do anything. We just throw away.
Lee: Oh, no. In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce some orange jam.

Then Lee asked for some chewing gum. After he finished, he put on the plate and asked the King.
Lee: What can you do with the chewing gum?
King: Oh, no. We just throw it away.
Lee: In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce condoms send it to Thailand.

Lee said good-bye to the King and the King asked Lee.
King: What can you do with the condom when you finish using it?
Lee: We cannot do anything. We throw it away.
King: In Thailand when we finish using the condom, we send it to the factory to produce chewing gum and send it back to Singapore!!!

LMAO !!!!

19 May 2005


I found this LEGO version of Star Wars animation which is kinda different than the ori wan. Very cute and witty too! Totally wicked!! Definitely a must watch for Star Wars Fans!

Rating : ***** (5 stars outta 3!) dats 2 above the max! LOL!

Broadband only ! 12mb download! quicktime required! Click Here!

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18 May 2005

Why do condoms come in packs of 3, 6, 12 ??

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,son.... Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package."

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool!" says the boy.

He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy,

"then who uses THESE?" he asks,picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men.One for January, one for February, one for March........"

Sigh* .....

17 May 2005

Nose Bleed Calender's Model 2006 !!!

After Lunch today one of our regular supplier Chong stop by for a regular visit, me and Chong goes way back to Secondary skool. Hes a printer now, as in he prints all our forms, catalogs, flyers, namecards etc.

At around 2:30pm he knocks on my door *knock knock*

Me : Kambin

Chong : Low sai hou mow ?

Me : Wuahhh ... i see u driving new car ledi wor ....

Chong : Eh how you know ?

Me : Aiyah! from my window here can see your face when u get out of your new car lar. How nice anot the car ?

Chong : Diu! perdana jek mah ... still a proton lar wat u expect ?

Me : Business must be good for yew lar

Chong : No la!

Me : Its either that or you have been slaughtering me la!

Chong : Low sai we so long time mia frend ... i wont do this kinda things one lar

Me : Heh Mao ? (true anot in hakka)

Chong : Kikangin mah!! hehe (same same hakka ppl)

*We pause for a while bcoz Lam bring in drinks for Chong*

Me : How your business this month ?

Chong : eh I tell u har ... this month mia business jialat man! dunno why da market so quiet one!

Me : Eh! my side also wor! this month super quiet la! whats happening ar ?

Chong : Aaaiiiii .... itu petrol mia plice every month go up .... everyone still in panic mode .... raw material plice hali hali go up, selling plice knot go up .... like this continue my lil brader also knot get up liow...

Me : So cham meh ?

Chong : Ya la! Boss, you got anything new lemme print anot ?

Me : Anything new ? all our printing let u sapu ledi if got new things also u will know what ?

Chong : Yiu Heh Wor! (True also hor) Eh wanna do calender or diary anot ?

Me : You cheesin ka ? now may only lar oi!

Chong : Wat to do? my factory now no job la! so u gimme some business lar u order now but i deliver to you in Nov or Dec la ok anot ?

Me : If u deliver in nov or dec then ok la

Chong : OK! u wait for me i go my car take table calender sample let u choose

*2 minits later*

Chong : nah here got 3 design u choose lar see which one u like

Me : *flip flip flip* WAHH!!! this one very exotic !!! so sexy !!!! so little clothes !!! i am sure my customers will like wan !!!! *Salivating*

Chong : LMAO!!! you sure you want this one boh ???

Me : SUREEE!!!! all my customers will remember me for ages if i give them this table calender man!!! ok set! 2000 copies of this design. I ask Yee to fax you the PO tomlo.

Below is part of the pics thats suppose to be appearing on my next year table Calender 2006! ENJOY! :P

16 May 2005

For a Trip To Bali

A Radio station in USA were organising a contest and the winner gets an all expenses paid trip for two to Bali!

DJ: "96FM here, what's your name?"
CALLER: "Hi, me name's Bryan".
DJ: "Dave, what's your word?"
CALLER: "Goan, spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'.
DJ: "You are correct Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now for a trip to Bali, what sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"
CALLER: "Goan f*ck yourself".

The DJ cut the call and took other calls, until:

DJ: "96FM here, what's your name?".
CALLER: "Hi, me name's Shamas".
DJ: "What's your word?"
CALLER: "Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'.
DJ: You are correct, 'smee' is not in the dictionary. Now for a trip to Bali, how can you use that word in a sentence that would make sense?"
CALLER: "Smee again, goan f*ck yourself".

12 May 2005

Only In Africa

A collection of bizzare photographs from Africa.

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Only in Africa, a man ride behind the truck while the dog is beside the driver seat

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Only In Africa there will be a Lampost right in da middle of the road

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Only in Africa, you gotta see a small pickup that made for 2s, carrying 40s

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This month spesel is NO FUEL!

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Its closed suckers! bcoz the manager said so!

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I would like to see Malaysia Motobike trying to overtake this barger!

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SOTP! In Da Name of Love!

10 May 2005

Latest Fashion In Japan

Im BEK!!! soli braders dan sistas sekalian, manyak busy dis two weeks anyway i could spare some time to update the blog more often now.

And Now I share with lu all!!! Yapun's Latest mia trend in Fashion!!! *Lau Bei Huets*

Front View

Back View

Perspective View

If this happening in Malaysia, PAS sure got lotsa new topic to tok bout in parliment ledi ler~ lol!

5 May 2005

Unique Capitalism


You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.


You have two cows.

You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.


You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.


You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary Cow and

produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.


You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


You have two cows.

Both are mad.


You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.


You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.


You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.


You have two cows.

You worship them.


You have two cows.

You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre. Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again

and now want RM1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows. Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.


You have two cows.

One cow-peh and one cow-bu.

4 May 2005

Spender(Underwear) Ads In Germany

These pictures were taken in Germany by a frend whois there recently, Man! do they have funny ways to say things! hehe :)

Make your eggs as comfortable as possible.

This is the correct way to place your banana

Guess who came to mind when I see these pics ? Who else got "BigBird and BigBalls" if not Kennysia :P

2 May 2005

Toppled SUV at Langkawi Airport Entrance

Sunday, 2:50pm "Right on time" I told John as i steer into the road leading to the Langkawi Airport. We are boarding the 4pm flight outta Langkawi flying back to K.L. It was then raining pretty heavily too, outta a sudden a Kembara with a bunch of teenagers in it overtook us from the right speeding towards the departure hall.

*They are probably rushing for their flight* i told myself and at that time John were shouting "OH FUCK! they are gonna lose it if they dont slow down" Before he could finish the sentence we all saw the Kembara taking a corner at high speed and the young driver just lost it and the whole car topple to the side and glided about 2 meter.

I step on the pedal to catch up with them and stop rite in front of the toppled Kembara, We took a look at the car and we see everyone in the car are still alive and I sped to the arrival hall which is about 12 meters away from the toppled Kembara to ask for help. A few taxi driver and airport personel rush to the scene after we told that what happened, they tried to open the door to the Kembara with the help from the passenger in the Kembara and they managed to open it and helped all the people in the car to get out. Smokes were seen coming out from the car a few minutes later. As we ourself is also catching a flight we do not have time to stay further, after we make sure everybody is safe we left to check in our flight. Needless to say I did managed to get some pictures of the unfortunate incident. I am glad no one were seriously hurt in this incident.

*P.S. If you are driving a SUV, pls bear in mind that the CG (Center of Gravity) are alot higher than those of a normal car or a sports car, so DO NOT drive it like a normal car, SUV are not made as a performance vehicle, it wont be able to take sharp corners at high speed. If you wanna speed go buy yourself a sports car. Do not put yourself in danger and drag others road users with you!

The taxi drivers are already at the scene and more airport personel were rushing to help.

The first passenger that managed to climb out of the Kembara with the help of the airport personel

The girls were being help by the airport personel