I came across Surfnux's blog today and one of the entry caught my attention, its a story bout genie in a lamp who grants wishes to whoever that freed him from the lamp. ( you know the usual genie story) Anyway you can read about his version here
Allow me to present my version, its pretty much alike but the punchline totally differs.
Not too long ago there was 3 guys who chartered a plane to Hawaii from California, Half way into the flight their plane encounter engine problems and 3 of them were ordered to bail out of the plane by the captain. So all 3 of them suit up in their parachute and jumps from the plane.
They were lucky as all 3 of em managed to land on the same island. with the plane no where in sight they wanders off into the island looking for any form of civilisation. They ventures continously for 21 days into the dense forest without much findings. So one day they decided to stop by the river to freshen up and to quench their thrist.
Now at this stage im gonna tell u their names and other details about them. The first guy is a rancher from Texas, he owns lotsa kick ass farms all over the county, his name is Trey.
The 2nd guy is from Australia, He owns a few vineyards all over the world, his name is Nigel.
Now its the 3rd guy i want you all to pay close attention to, hes from Toronto, Canada, hes a jobless dirtbag, good-for-nothing drunkard and his education level are at the lowest possible, needless to mention bout his IQ level. The only reason hes on this flight because he won a lottery draw that gives him a luxurious trip to Hawaii on a chartered flight. Hes always drunk (before he bail the plane he even managed to take 2 bottles of whisky with him) and hes also very .... very very very happy go lucky kinda person, his name is Dave, Mister Dave Jr.
Now, lets go back to the story ... by the river .... they are resting ... washing their spender ... looking for fruits, fish, whatever thats edible. Anyway, Trey were downstream looking for fish when outta sudden he spotted this metal like object fully covered in mud and moss underneath the shallow banks of the river. He picked it up and ha cant figure out what the heck it is. He then runs back to the other 2 guys screaming his heart out "HEY! LOOK WHAT I FOUND !!!
Needless to say Nigel and Dave runs towards Trey to see whats in his hand (they were hoping that it would be a hanphone or something similar). "What do you think this is" Trey asking both of them when they arrive. "Looks like some kinda metal object to me" explains Nigel. Without asking Dave grabs the object (in his half drunk conditions) and says "HAH! this is a piece of crap! It dont even shines! its definitely not metal!" says Dave. Nigel took the object back from Dave's hand and take a closer look at it. "I think this is an ancient lamp!" says Nigel. Then he use the sleeve of his shirt trying to remove the mud and moss covering the object and *POOF* a genie appeared from no where! the genie were seen rubbing his eyes just like he just wakeup lidat before he let out this thunderous voice of him "Who summons for Great Abu the genie ?"
3 fo them were trembling at the sigh of something so enormous and yet so mysterious. Nigel were totally terrified and he answer to the genie's question "we all did" says Nigel cowardly trying to save his skin by involving everybody.
"Ah! since all 3 of you guys released me from my long time entrapment by my previous master in the magical lamp, I will grant each of you guys one wish! " Says the Genie.
*Wow* says all of them ... this is neat ! "Since i found the lamp first i should go first" exclaimed Trey. Nigel and Dave agrees to it. So Trey walks forward and says "Genie .. err.. Abu ... Abu the Genie I want to go back to my warm home in Texas and be with my family. "Your wish is my command" says Abu and *POOF!* Trey is back in Texas with all his family members around him.
Dave saw this and he got more and more excited, he even drank the last remaining half bottle of whisky which he has been saving all the while, knowing he can get more of it if he managed make it back to Toronto.
Nigel moves forward to claim his wish as Dave were too busy trying to finish off his half bottle of whisky. Nigel then says to the genie "Abu the great, i would like to go home to my vineyard in Australia and to be with my family too" before Nigel can say another word *POOF!* hes gone just like Trey did. "Ops" says Abu the Genie "I forgot to say *Your wish is my command.* hehehe! nevermind about that, i kinda got sick with that line myself after so many centuries of saying it too" he told Dave.
Lets make this easier for me since only Dave and Abu remains, i'll do this one in dialog format :
Abu : So, its your turn now, are you done with your whisky yet ?
Dave :* in his 75% drunk condition replied* They are gone already?
Abu : Yes, so what is your wish sir ? lemme get it done with i still got thousands over years of catching up to do after this.
Dave : Do you have to rush this ? I never got any wishes in my life granted before, I really wanna enjoy this while it last "Hic!" *getting more n more sober*
Abu : Ok, whatever! take your time, im immortal i can wait.
Dave : Okay! Okay! Damnit Stop rushing me! Im thinking!! Im thinking!!
*almost 40 minutes later*
Abu : Well sir ? have you decided yet ?
*by now Dave is really fucking drunk, he cant tell shit from stone even if his life is depending on it*
Dave : he blurp out outta sudden "where is everyone ?"
Abu : They are gone, they are at their home now with their family.
Dave : How the hell they got home ? I thot we are all stranded here!
Abu : *impatiently* I DID! I DID! I sent them back! remember ? i grant you guys one wish each! and i am still waiting for you to make your wish!
Dave : Wish ? I got a wish ? I can wish for anything and you will make it happen for me ?
Abu: YES! YES !!! now make the god damn wish!!! you bafoon!
Dave : I can wish for anything ? REALLY ?
*at this point Abu eyes were really spitting out fires*
Dave : OKAY OKAY! dont get all burnt up bout that! i'll make my god damn wish now! *hes gonna pass out any moment now due to the high level of alchohol in his bloodstream*
*Abu cools down*
Abu : Well ? *tapping his fingers impatiently*
Dave : Geez .... What the hell am I doing here anyway ? Whois gona talk to me with them both gone ? I am kinda lonely without them two here with me, can you please bring them back here to company me?
Abu : Your Wish is my Command Master Dave!
*POOF!* BOTH Trey and Nigel are once again back in the island!
Moral of the setori : dun kawan sama kaki mabok !!!! they sucks !!! buden you can empty their wallet after they got drunk and blame it on someone else also LOL! they wont know a shit! If you hate them, you can beat the shit outta them after they got mabok and still get away with it easily !!! HAHAHA .. or strip them naked, not that they'll care!
-Disclaimer- the above statement are purely for entertaiment purposes only. If any of you are stupid enough to try it on your buddies please do not relates it to me as i have nothing to do with your stupidity nor i have any control over it! Kids dont try this at home! We are trained professionals! Adult supervision required!