I dont know what else to say other than thank you.
When all hope is lost,
Thank you all for giving me courage,
Thank you all for showing me hope,
Thank you all for the motivation,
Thank you all for showing me that human is actually not as scary as I thought they are ....
Hope and dreams is what that keep a man alive, when all hope is lost and all dreams are broken, man will think of doing silly stupid stuffs.
I am at a level right now where i doubt if I could still be what a father should be, to be able to provide for my kid's future. I doubt I could be what a husband should be to be the provider for the family or the least basic I m not sure how much long I can afford to put food on the table anymore.
I lost lotsa stuffs. both material and emotional stuffs that I worked so hard for as long as I could remembered and for some obvious reason I cant expose of, not here in my blog.
I am still searching and waiting and I hope there will be a sign telling me what is the path i should take next because I dont like this feeling of being stuck at the junction for this long time. Time is a luxury that I dont have at this moment...
Usually when I fall down, it would only take me a few days to stand back up but this time it takes alot longer than a few days. Its not only that, whenever i managed to pull myself together someone/something will whack me from behind and I will fall down again. One step forward ... two steps backward.
This has been going on for at least a month and I always ask myself ..... what is my limit? I mean obviously everyone would have his/her own limit of how much shit one can take right?
Right now there just isnt any light at the end of the tunnel, I probably havent reach the end of the tunnel yet and I been walking for more than a month ledi. Is there ever gonna be a light at the end of the tunnel or I am going the wrong way?
If you ask me now What is the scariest thing on earth? I would tell you that its not a an angry ghost or anything near that ... the scariest thing is this world is human.
I m still searching and lost, I would really appreciate advices from those who had been through similar situation, where can I go from here?