Malaysian English Express

This afternoon got a mail from my fren. Nabeh, judge for yourself, true or not. This is the Malaysian express way, a.k.a., the shortcut to English. No need talk so much, understand enuf!

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Doe-waaaan!

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shaddap lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what see, never see lengchai/lengloi izzit?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why lidat????ADUI!!! (jumping to conclusion)

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.
Malaysians: Hoi!!!u pig ar lidat also doe no how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me.
Malaysians: Celaka u/LANCAUUUUUUUU/cibai la/puki mak/pu nya ma!!!

How very true this is. But nonetheless, this is the only way we can go to catchup with those developed nations - by doing shortcuts. Easy, brief, yet understable phrases is the way to go! Malaysia boleh!