9 December 2005

Malaysian English Express

This afternoon got a mail from my fren. Nabeh, judge for yourself, true or not. This is the Malaysian express way, a.k.a., the shortcut to English. No need talk so much, understand enuf!

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Doe-waaaan!

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shaddap lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what see, never see lengchai/lengloi izzit?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why lidat????ADUI!!! (jumping to conclusion)

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.
Malaysians: Hoi!!!u pig ar lidat also doe no how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me.
Malaysians: Celaka u/LANCAUUUUUUUU/cibai la/puki mak/pu nya ma!!!

How very true this is. But nonetheless, this is the only way we can go to catchup with those developed nations - by doing shortcuts. Easy, brief, yet understable phrases is the way to go! Malaysia boleh!

11 comments:

  1. I'm the first over here?
    Hey dude, i've read that 2 years ago.. u a bit slow la..!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. rojak about 'WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED'
    malaysian not answer like that la....
    the answer is 'wat mam-ber? arr?
    hu saw? tell me quick! *say in heart.. so i can buy that number*

    ReplyDelete
  3. rojakz where got briton speak like that wan, that you quoted is text book example lei, real wan speak in slang like us also.... i.e.

    WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
    Britons: Bugger off, arse off, sot off

    WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
    Britons: Bloody hell!

    WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
    Britons: On me mate.

    WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
    Britons: Keep it down!

    WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
    Britons: whatcha lookin at?

    ReplyDelete
  4. when u ask a brit a question if he doesn't know he will say sorry and will try to find out the answer for u. In Malaysia u meet dead end" Tidak tahu OOO"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jia Lat lor!!!
    Wah Lau Eh!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. in mandarin,
    ta ma de.
    du wuo lin.
    diow ni mah de chou chee bai!

    ReplyDelete
  7. aussie respond:

    good day mate
    excuse me mate
    is on me mate
    be yourself mate
    did you give me your money mate?
    im sorry mate

    ReplyDelete
  8. Prefers local version... gwai loh slang slang, cannot understand.

    ReplyDelete
  9. lol. true leeee this. Shortcut memang always nice and easy to use. hoho No need take much energy out. kih kih kih

    ReplyDelete
  10. Obviously, it's Maglish :P The most important is we all understand... We all in the rush hour city eh... No time for those long long sentence la...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Not true on the Btitons' part. Definitely something amiss... hmm... where are the F's?

    ReplyDelete

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