28 April 2005
After a few weeks of lepak-ing kat Petaling St. I managed to make frend with this particular AhBeng, lia mia nama is AhLee, hes bout my age at that time and his parents owns a stall in Petaling St. Selling BRAS, hes a very well known figure in Petaling St. back then bcoz of his expertise. And bcoz of this also hes given a nickname by flers traders in Petaling St., his official nick name is AhLeeBRABRA.
Lemme tell you how he get this nick, he got this gift of being able to tell wat size and cup you are wearing by just one look, he would even suggest what kinda cup shape would be more comfy and most of the customers will agree to his choice. Thats how he get his nickname.
So, one rainy day where business is not so good and everyone is free bcoz there is no customers, we happen to stop by his stall and had a lil chat with him. He then told us.
AhLeeBRABRA : oi oi u wanna see the latest bra design anot ?
Me : What ? see bra only ar ? Erm-moi lar!
AhLeeBRABRA : Got model wearing the bra one wor!
Me : Got Lenglui ?! OK OK, where ? show show!
*AhLeeBRABRA proceeds to take some photos from underneath his counter*
AhLeeBRABRA : Nah u see for urself la!!! this season this new design very HOT in YAPUN one!
Pls. Refer to the Pics below to see whats HOT!
and keep wandering around without approval one
and enviromental friendly
during CNY reunion dinner! Auspicious for businessman!
fits the criteria for a perfect airport runway.
27 April 2005
immediately goes to ... hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have
no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what
I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.
In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and
surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't
think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge
hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer,
timeafter time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony
if all I could do was break rocks all day" commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the
floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread
eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go, Bush is taking over your place!
25 April 2005
There was once a customs officer guarding at the border between US and Mexico. One day, a young man tried to ride a bicycle across the borders with a heavy sack on it. He was stopped abruptly by the officer.
Officer: Hey, you! Stop! Let me see what's in the sack.
So the man opened it and the officer found sand in the sack. So, he let the young man go. The next day, it was the same man again. And the same thing happened. There was only sand in the sack. Again, the officer let the young man cross over. This happened day after day, for 10 years until the officer retired.
One day, the retired officer met the young man at a restaurant in Mexico and they sat down for a talk.
Officer: Hey, now that I've retired, you can tell me what have you been smuggling all these years in the sack. Come on, tell me. I won't tell anyone.
Man: I haven't been smuggling anything in the sack. *pause for a while* I've been smuggling the bicycles.
Permalink : http://dracolshian.blogspot.com/2005/04/different-version-of-sua-ku.html
Many thanks to dracolshian
DENMARK - Got one fler KentutED while having surgery and cause his kkc and chuntois kena burnt. The fler age is 30 over oni, he wanna remove his buntut mia taik lalat, itu masa itu lokter pakai itu lektri mia pisau, lokter baru mau potong oni he ter-kentutED pasal lia mia kentut kena itu pisau mia spark and api kluar lepas tu lia mia chuntois and kkc alredi soakeing wet with flamable mia alchohol so his "tools" also terbakar.
The fler also saman-ing the hospital also said "when i wokeup, my kkc and chuntois very panas and ader than the pain i also knot make lafu to my wife ledi". Then the fler in hopsital pulak said "itu kita olang manyak soli, bukan kita olang mia pasal"
- End of translation -
22 April 2005
AhKit is only 18 yrs old and hes one horny basket (Chicken worm) and is not sure what to do about it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five Linggit . AhKit walks down the street to the Rumah Tumpangan KiewKiew (Chowkit Branch) and knocks on the door. The mamasan opens the door and asks AhKit, “Budak apa mau ?”. "I'm really horny but I only have RM5. What can you do for me?” AhKit asks the mamasan. She looks at AhKit and said, "Don't worry lahhh we can kautim for you one. No poblem."
She bawak AhKit into this room where in the opposite corner is a chicken. AhKit thinks about this for a second and figures it can't be that bad. He gives the mamasan the RM5 and closes the door behind her. With the eagerness of a young teenager he quickly undresses.
Once naked, AhKit tarak Buangmasa and starts to hantam the ayam. As soon as AhKit developes a rentak he starts to enjoy himself very muchi!. He and the ayam really go at it for a while until all that built up frustration is finally released. AhKit can't remember when he has had such a pleasurable Sexperience.
One week later, and hamsups again, AhKit has saved up RM10.Being a satisfied customer he goes back to the same mamasan and asks what she can do for him for RM10.
"Well for RM10 we have spesel show for lu", the mamasan replies. She leads him into a different VIP room where there are several other people sitting on benches. "Sit back and enjoy the show AhKit", the mamasan tells AhKit.
AhKit gives the money to the mamasan and takes a seat on one of benches. Soon after, they tutup lampu and bukak langsir revealing another room on the other side of a two way mirror where two women begin to undress each other.
AhKit is very impressed. Clearly these women are unaware anyone is watching as they begin to make love to each other passionately. Apparently there is nothing they won't do to each other.
AhKit once again feels like he is getting his money's worth. He turns to the person beside him and says, "Dis a vehlee good show for ten linggit eh?!
The guy turns to AhKit and says, "NO LAH! .....last week lagi terror la! We saw a guy fuck a Chicken."
They all board the train and the bangle technicians take their seats and watch as all three supervisors cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. The train departs and shortly afterward, the conductor comes around collecting tikets. He knocks on the toilet door and says "Tiket mana ? " The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a tiket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The bangla technicians see all this and agreed it is quite a clever idea. So after the seminar, the bangla technicians decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money . When they get to the KTM stesen, they buy a single tiket for the return trip. But to their astonishment, the supervisorss don't buy any tiket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a single tiket?" says one bangla technician. "You wait and see larrr" answers a supervisor.
They board the train. The three bangla technicians cram into a toilet compartment and the three supervisors cram into an another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the supervisors leaves his toilet, walks over to the bangle technicians toilet, knocks on the door and says, "Tiket mana ?".
21 April 2005
On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On anoder plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "We can help you pick your nose!"
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
Source : Dana
20 April 2005
Irene : Dave ni hao! (Dave, how are you?)
Dave : Eh Wingz what she toking har ?
Irene : Dave ni pu hwei hwah yue der ar ? (Dave you donno mandarin one ar ?)
Me : Dave, shes toking in mandarin la asking you how are you
Dave : eh u tell her to tok ingris la, i dont understand mandarin leh
Me : Irene, Dave pu tung hwah yue der ler, tah jiaw ni jiang yingwern ler. (Irene, he dun understand mandarin one ler, he ask u to tok ingris)
Irene : Ok Ok
Me : Irene, can you translate 2 words for me into mandarin ? i not very good with madarin la
Irene : sure, what izzit ?
Me : Can you please translate "Spring Bag" for me pls ?
Irene : What is spring bag ?
Dave : Yea, wtf is spring bag ?
Me : Dave u dun kkcc la (kkcc - kakacaucau/dun disturb)
Irene : Wingz, Ser mork sir spring bag ?
Me : Spring ar .. spring is the 4 season punya spring lor ... neh Winter, Autumn, Summer and Spring ahhhh ... that one laaa
Irene : oh ... in mandarin that is call "Chun"
Me : Then bag in mandarin is call wat ar ?
Irene : Plastic bag ?
Me : No, not plastic bag. Just bag alone call wat ledi ?
Irene : Bag is call "Taie"
Me : Irene, then Spring bag is call wat ?
Irene : Chun Taie lor!
Me & Dave & Piggy : LMAO!!! *luffing like cicaks hilang ekor lidat"
Irene : What are you guys luffing at ??
Dave : Nothing nothing ! *continue to luff*
Me : Irene you know canto anot ?
Irene : abit ler
Me : Irene, then u try to translate that into canto lar, see u know how to do anot
Irene : Dunwan! later i say wrong ledi u all luff at me one.
Me : Wont one larrrr .... faster lerrr
Irene : I say wrong ledi u all dun luff horrr
Me & Dave : ok ok we wont we wont
Irene : err ... *mumbling-mumbling* if im not wrong i think canto shud be "Chun toi"
Me & Dave & Piggy : *luffing like kena mad cow disease with tears kambing out from our eyes, mucus kambing out from our nose and banging our head onto our keybod*
Irene : Choiii!!!!! ALAMAK !!!! u 2 tricked me !!!!! *Curse! Curse!*
We tried others translations too! i.e.:
1) Gei Park - Canto (How White) try translate it into mandarin
2) Larn Keok - Canto (Wounded Leg) try translate into mandarin also
Got many more lagi! buden share with lu olangs nx time lar .... dunwan skali sai lang everything ... nx time no more juice liow can write again LOL!
Click on the link and Luff yer Ass-off!!! pls proceed if u are armed with scream-ass (streamyx) ok ?
*Click on the "PLAY" button to start the flash, thank you*
Thanks Klutz *Muacks*
19 April 2005
Its abit late to tok bout WHY I BLOG isnt it ? "I KNOW! I KNOW!" but I havent done this beore so i m still entitled to do it at least once!
I have been reading a few blogs on a daily basis before i decided to have my own, I learnt in those blogs that i read that one can really express themself freely and makes you pounder on it for sometime as to how much truth existed in those words. How true how true .....
Now thats not the reason why I blog, I actually hate to writes, I do not follow the trend (Im one of those who would dress up like a begger), I am not after fame, awards nor recognitions, NO NO NO .. that above is really non of the reason why I am doing this.
I did it because I felt so helpless most of the time. Look at our world today, look at how pathetic and sad our lifes has become. Disasters happens everywhere, humans are suffering, new kinda disease surfaces everyday, mankind are suffering from all this and I cant do antyhing about it. How sorrow how true.
Blogging is my way to contributes to human who need a little relief from all that, perhaps maybe for 5 minutes a day or even more and YET I hope what i did, what I am doing is making a significant differences in their daily life, with just one dose of joke everyday. That's my noble intention, small but sincere.
Nevertheless, there will still be people who do not agree with this. For those, I wanna share with you what I saw today in one of those KL's famous roadside stalls. This road side stall i patroned has this BIG sign that says :
3 Putt Mai (3 conditions of sales)
1. Erm Dung Duck, Putt Mai (if u cant wait, we refuse to sell)
2. Yim Jim, Putt Mai (If you are picky, we refuse to sell too)
3. Yong Sui, Putt Mai (If we dont like your face, we wont sell either!)
So, you see if you seriously do not like what i blogs here, please dont spoil your day ok ? Do us both a favor, thats the door, just walk that way! *Cheers!*
18 April 2005
Jack : A young boy die ledi
Me : What happened ??
Jack : He got married to a 60 yrs old woman yesday and he died this morning
Me : WHOA!!! they old woman so big appeptite meh ? fark the boy till he kiokED ?
Jack : No, its not that
Me : Then ?
Jack : According to his autopsy repot, he died becoz he drank expired milk !!!
Me : *3 legs in the air*
17 April 2005
AhFook is quite a popular figure in the village mainly becoz of his daily entertaining contribution to the folks in the village, his popularity far reaches the next few kampung and many traveled for nearly an hour on foot just to listen to his daily tales.
One day, there is this young man from neighbouring kampung, AhMing. While AhFook was telling a story related to a huge kick ass sea monster, AhMing felt AhFook were bullshitting and he speaks up from behind "Oi! dont bluff little boys larr!!!" AhFook were stunned for a while but he continues his story soon after that.
While AhFook is telling his story from the front, at the back of the scene this old man who were in front of AhMing told him this "We all know part of his stories are non-existance, we never question them bcoz we do not feel there is a need for that. We are all here bcoz we wanna be entertained and hes doing a good job at it, FOR FREE!! since its FREE you cant complain much, if you dont like it, "FUCK OFF" not that you need to fill a form prior to do that."
Back to 2005, best selling fiction books includes Harry Potter, Lord of the Ring and others. Are any of these are for real ? NO? and peoples are buying it ???!!! why ?? i guess the reason are these books are entertaining. I would really loves to see if anyone would try to point out that there is a piece of "FAKE" information in Lord of the Ring LMAO!!!
Alas, Hustler you are doing a GREAT job providing hours of entertaiment for all of us. I will continue to patron your blog for a long time to come. Until you start to CHARGE entrance fee that is. :)
The heavyweight was getting creamed in the fight, but every round he managed to stagger back to the corner. At the end of the eighth round, he could barely see from all the blood streaming down his forehead. His manager said to him, “Hold on just a couple of rounds. I think you are gonna win”
“Win?” the boxer grunted. “I cant even see to hit him.”
“I know” the manager replied, “But the sight of you is beginning to make him sick”
16 April 2005
Back in ancient china, an impoverished man could only afford the meanest food for blekfast – fremented rice cakes. Each morning, AhNgaw would feel giddy from the alchohol in the cakes.
Once a frend asked him “Do you drink that early?”
“No” he replied. “I just ate some fermented rice cakes”
When his wie cane to know about this, she suggested “you should say that you had just taken wine for blekfas, which would have sounded more tasteful”
The following day his frend asked him the same Question,
AhNgaw :I’d just taken some wine for blekfas
Frend : Did you drink it hot or cold ?
AhNgaw : it was toasted
*When his wife heard about it,*
Wife : Wine can never be toasted. You must say next time that you had hot wine.
AhNgaw : I know better now
In the next encounter with his friends, he blurted out the information even before the friend spoke.
AhNgaw : I drank hot wine for blekfas.
Frend : How much did you take ?
AhNgaw : Two pieces *showing 2 fingers*
15 April 2005
One day Tang walked into his kedai with a duck under his arm. Peter said to him "Eh! What are you doing with that pig ?"
"Are you crazy?" Tang replied "Its itik larrr not pig lar diuuu"
"I wasnt toking to you" Said Peter. "I was toking to the duck."
14 April 2005
We live in a pathologically dissatisfied world. And I'm going to tell you why. Because we love to compare.
Go around the world and discover that people aren't happy with their bodies. Filipinos want to be fair-complexioned like Westerners and so buy bleaching stuff.
Westerners want to own bronzed bodies like ours and so purchase tanning lotions. Those with moles have them removed, while those who don't strategically implant beauty spots.
Some people want to shed a few pounds to look like Ally McBeal, while others want to gain some baby fat to look like Drew Barrymore.
When are we ever going to stop and simply be happy with how we look? We live in a sick world, I tell you. And that sickness is comparisonitis.
Take a look at wealth.When we drive our old Honda, it really suits us fine. We feel blessed in fact when the rain pours outside and we feel snug and cozy on its faded upholstered seats.
But the moment we see our own office mate (or neighbor, or buddy, or cousin, or brother) drive his sleek sky-blue, four-door, four-wheel-drive Mercedez, we automatically feel like third-class children of God!
Next time we drive our bumpy, noisy, rusted, dilapidated Honda,(notice how all the defects come out all of a sudden?), we feel deprived, dispossessed, pariah, debased and only a little higher than the insects of the earth.
Bill Gates total assets are worth $60 billion. That's more than the GNP of some small countries. Tiger Woods earns $80 million simply by smiling on TV in a Nike shirt. And the stars of the sitcom Friends are paid $750,000 per episode!
No matter how hard you work, there'll still be some people who will be richer than you are. And there'll be some people who will be more beautiful, have more sex appeal, have more boyfriends and have more problems.
Try it for once. Stop looking around. Don't compare!
Don't compare her nose with your nose. Don't compare his wife with your wife. Don't compare his salary with your salary. Don't compare her breast size with your breast size. Don't compare her kids report card with your kids report card. Don't compare his prayer group with your prayer group. Don't compare her cellulite deposits with your cellulite deposits.
For crying out loud, Stop comparing and Start living! And you'll be happier with your life, I guarantee.
This is crucial:
The most difficult thing in the world is to be who you are not.
Pretending and trying to be someone else is the official pastime of the human race. (I don't think dogs and cats and cows and horses have this problem.)
And the easiest thing in the world is to be yourself. Be happy. Live!
There must be a reason why God made you tall or short or fat or thin or bumpy all over.
Love who you are!
Be happy, it's not that difficult!
Apa lagi we terus go there and set camp lar, sommo dat time the lil Devil is yelling at the top of his voice asking for nen-nen ledi, so we unpack all our stuffs and made nen-nen for the Devil. To our suprise after finishing the nen-nen the Devil terus blackout, so both me and Mrs. Wingz also take this oppurtunity to take a break enjoying the scenery and the peoples while waiting for the Devil to wakeup from his cat nap.
At this time, I noticed something very strange. You see the bench next to us were occupied by 3 MahLartLows, the man in the middle was reading newspaper and the other two men on either side of him were going thru the motions as if they were actually fishing. They carefully baited their hooks, cast out the line and reeled them in when they had an imaginary bite. This went on for quite some time till one of our Tourist Polis walk up to them. As i were only next to their bench i could actually hear what they said to each other.
This is what they said :
Polis : *asking the man in the middle* "Do you know this 2 guys sitting besides you ?
Middle Guy : *folded his newspaper* "Yes officer i know them both"
Polis : What are they doing ?
Middle Guy : I think they are fishing
Polis : *noticed something fishy* "this is a public park, you cant fish here, you better get both of them out of here!" *said the polis in a very serious tone*
Middle Guy : YES SIR!
After saying that the guy in the Middle pretend to pick up something from the floor and began to row furiosly as if they are on a sampan!
LMAO!!!! FISHING MANIAC !!!!!
13 April 2005
This is their pictures captured by our spy cam during one of their speech.
One day our LingLingFart rekordED one of their conversation toking about our maderland Chungcock (China), after further anal-y-sis we found out that this Bush asked Condi to prepare one top Secret repot on Chungcock's Leader, Comrade HU. Below is the converstaion in detail :
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
George: I mean the fellow's name.
George: The guy in China.
George: The new leader of China.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
That Concludes our spy repot today by LingLingfart. Anoder agent, Agent HamKahLing (HKL) have a anoder repot for us, he finally met a FBI agent in front of the White Houz, at the same time also there is a demonstation going on in front of the White Houz. Below is the full repot of their conversation :
HKL : Amalikans have alot of freedom huh? look at the peeple here, they are scolding your Plesidern.
FBI : *PROUD* Yeah, we Amalikan belif in human rights. We can walk right up to our Plesidern and say "Mr. Bush you sucks!" and get away with it. *Boasting*
HKL : *Tulan dee* I can do that too!!!
FBI : NO WAY! you will get yourself killed!
HKL : NO! I can assure you I will be able to get away with it!
FBI : I dont belif you.
HKL : I CAN! I can walk to our leader, Comrade HU and tell him "Mr. Bush Sucks" and he wont harm me too!
With that we concludes our meeting for today. Pls do not leave your belongings behind and dont spits on the floor on your way out. *Thank you*
12 April 2005
I come across an email from an old frend with pictures of Spidey 30 year from today, immediately i remembered a frend of mine is an absolute Spidey Mania. So here i am posting Pics of the Spidey 30 yrs into the future!
I wanna dedicate this Entry to a frend of mine bcoz of his unconditional love for Spidey, he is non other than kljs Boss !!!
His undenialble/undying Love Declaration for
Hope you all will enjoy this adn much as kljs would!
Doing the Spidey Dance!
Bekside View - Kencing-ing
Spidey Wall Crawling !!!
Source : From My Frend.
Who ? He dun let me tell!
Without money and valid travel documents she walk for hours before reaching a WARTEL. So, AhLian went into the WARTEL message centre wanting to send an message to her mother in China and ask for help.
Indon guy, Mansur at the WARTEL counter told her it would cost around RM150.00
AhLian : saiya tarak RM150 lah, but I will do anything to get a message to my mother in China!
Mansur smiled, arched an eyebrow and asked, "Anything ?”
AhLian :Yes, I promise...anything !
Mansur : Follow me.
*He led her to the next room and said*
Mansur :Come in and close the door.
Mansur : Get down on your knees !
*AhLian obeyed Mansur’s demand willingly”
Mansur : Unzip me !
Mansur : Go on...take it out.
*She did and grabbed it with both hands excitedly.*
Mansur : Go ahead girl, what are you waiting for ?
*AhLian do as shes told, she slowly brought her lips closer and said loudly*
AhLian : Hello....hello Ah Mah !!!..can you hear me ?!
*P.S. this time no banglas was hurt in the making of this story. :P
11 April 2005
So i now hereby tenkiu the author of the joke ANTON PERERA for his kinda contribution to the making of a better mankind.
I also like to thank the Chun-toys-less reader for his contribution of new jokes website that i do not know of its existance untill today.
For more jokes, pls. klik on the link below. (contributed by the chun-toy-less reader)
Due to popular demand,"chun-toys-less comments poster" features will be diabled to prevent more of our future generation from following the chontoysless-ism belief. All future koment(er) are advised to register yourself a blogspot member to be able to post komen. Buden hor ... befoh lu post any komen or read anything can you please read my blog's header 1st? :)
*P.S. I pray to god that my chun-toys-less reader fast fast grow back chun toys so he can post his nx komen with balls!!!
Mati, isnt very bright even tho he told me he graduated from university when he first approach me for a job, he cant read and write that well you see, nevertheless he is a hardworking employee and that i hafta agree on.
One day Mati come to me with a letter that he wants me to read to him, he told me he cant read and he need me to explain to him the content of the letter. So, i took the letter from him and begun reading it. It appear that the letter is from his mom from his home in Dhakka.
This is the content of the letter *yes i keep a photocopy copy with me :)*
My Dear Mathiur,
I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I won't be able to send the address as the last person who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.
By the way I took Bahur (daughter-in-law) to our club's poolside. The manager is bad. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Khaled fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Your best friend, Begum, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
P.S : Mathiur, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.
By the way, Mati is no longer with us, he went back to Bangladesh last year and all of us missed him dearly!
By the way, Mati is no longer with us, he went back to Bangladesh last year and all of us missed him dearly!
10 April 2005
Me : What da fark are you luffing about ?
John : You guys have funny names for restaurant
Me : What da fark ya toking bout ?
John : turn back, do a U turn, its back there!
Me : Back where ?
John : about 150 feet behind us! Go go !! its fucking hillarious!!
Me : OK
So i look for place where i can do a 3-point-turn and headed back to the spot John is talking about. When we arrive :
John : There! LOOK AT THAT NAME !!!! TWO OF THEM !!! SIDE BY SIDE !!! Fark!!! *continue to luff like mad donkey on heat again*
Me : Ok, i dont really see anything funny here, its pretty normal to me. Wee Kan Fatt and Soo Kan Wee . So what is wrong ?
*Please refer to the below picture to get a brief idea of what am trying to tell you. Its more or less similar to what i saw the other day.*
John : Cant you see it ?
Me : Nope!
John : Ok ok lemme tell you, One shop says "WE CAN FART" the other one says "SO CAN WE" and he bursted into laughters again.
Me : HOLY SHIT !!! we both luffing like mad cow kena histeria that time!
It took us almost 15 minits to be able able to cool down and continue our journey again, What a day! and does time flies ... that bastard is coming here again this May!!! hahahaha!!! Cant wait!!
9 April 2005
Here is the answer as plomised, lemme give u the answer with some visual help below,
Chee-Buy and Pantat are just next to each other in a female body.
8 April 2005
Mail is about 5'3" lidat, he has this misai and abit of janggut. Very tough kinda guy, very tanned and had a very loud voice. I guess the loud noise is useful when locating someone who went missing from the main group i guess. He rely mostly on his instinct most of the time without much gadgets. The only tool he brought with him are a compas, a parang and a torchlight. No canggih gadgets like Satnav gps system or satelite phone that sort. One can tell from the way he handle us that he must be a very experienced jungle trekking guide, he evel tell us lotsa his jungle trekking stories while we trekking our way into the dense forest.
After about 3 hours of trekking he told us we are half way there, he also reminded us to behave properly and to respect the surrondings. "There are peeple living here, even tho you cant see them " he says. I was like "WTF??!! i dint see a living soul in this jungle other than us all" buden after anoder 5 minits or so we asked us to stop as if he found something interesting. We all gather around him and to our suprise he found a pile of shit! At that time we were like "What the big deal bout finding a pile of shit, what is so fascinating about this pile of shit ?" To our amazement he told us the pile of shit belongs to a human being and it belongs to a female!
Whoa!! we were like "how the fuck can you tell?" he wouldnt tell us at first and he said " i'll tell you all later in the journey". About half an hour later he found anoder pile of shit again and this time "it" look kinda "fresh from the oven" type, he told us the shit belongs to a male! we were like "FUCK! hes lying !!!" To satisfy our curiosity he told us how he derived to such answer ........
Wanna know how ?? Why dont you try to guess it first ?
i'll tell you the answer tomolo ok? :)
One day they stumbled upon a pack of stray dogs, they saw one of the dog licking his own balls, to his amazement Kenny blurted out ( refer below for the full conversation )
Kenny : WOW! look at that jantan dog over there!
Patrick : Where ? Which one ?
Kenny : There! *Points with finger towards one of the dog which is licking his own balls*
Patrick : OOoohhhhHHH!!!! What about it ?
Kenny : It is licking its own balls! How I wish i can do that too!!!! *Envy*
Patrick : *imagining and drooling*
Patrick : Yeahhhhhhh~~~ me too!!!
*Both of them silent for a while letting their imaginations runs wild* ...............
Suddenly Patrick blurted out. (scroll down pulez ...)
Patrick : I really wanna do that but I scared that dog will bites me if I do that!
*No dogs were hurt in the making of this story*
7 April 2005
kljs - The Channel owner
JxT2J - The SOP
PeterTan - The Legendary Blogger from Penang (OP)
LilianC - The Celebrity Blogger from Penang
Kimberlycun - The Legs
KennySia - The April Fool Champion
Jayelle - The Little Girl In A Reverie a.k.a. LeftBoob
Dopey^ - As Suanie Sees It
PeNNyPupZ - The SYT
YP^ - The Future Doc
paxt - The Diary of a Klutz
loRd_VaMp - The New Ex Blogger
Dustyhawk - The Anime Sexpert
cymiao - The Resident Wine Expert
Kamigoroshi - Footstep in the Mirror (OP)
cheRRy^ZZZz - Malaysia J-Lo
Kstang - A pathetic attempt at blogging
chapree - Chapree Da Grande
Stanch - The Underpaid Exec.
Sashi - The Sashi-ism
smallmoskito - The Mossism
Andylkl - The WittySquirrel's Insane Ramblings
Mr.Tomodachi - Non Blogger but a very handsome guy!!!
and Me of coz :)
So fellow bloggers! come join us there and have lotsa fun exchanging toughts and meeting up with others Malaysian Bloggers. Real Time Interaction !!!
for more instructions on how to get there, please feel free to get in touch with any of the above bloggers and i am sure they will be more than willing to help out. More infos can be accessed by clicking HERE
See you there at #MalaysiaBloggers the meeting point of Malaysian Bloggers!
5 April 2005
Then I asked Kenneth whether they is any Wine bloggers around, he told me none that he known off, cy_miao our resident wine consultant even suggested that why don’t I blog about it myself. At first I hesitated but after giving it a thot, I decided to go ahead with it, so here goes!
Lemme start off with the HISTORY of Ice Wine, there are actually a few version but I’d narrowed it down to 3 and they are :
The History :
1) According to Canadian lore, the first ice wines were made when some winemaker forgot to harvest a few rows of mature grapes on his vineyard's back in the 40s. When he discovered his error, he harvested what was left, pressed the grapes to remove the ice crystals from whatever liquid could be coaxed from the nearly dried, frozen fruit and, voilà, a wine was born.
2) Ice wine originated in Europe two centuries ago when the German farmers of Franconia were hit by a sudden and unexpected winter frost. Rather than discard their frozen grapes, they went ahead and made wine. The result was a small quantity of honey-sweet liquid of high acidity, unlike anything they had ever produced. Eiswein was considered a treasure, yet German conditions have never guaranteed consistency in yield or quality.
3) The discovery of Icewine was accidental. Producers in Franconia, Germany made virtue of necessity by pressing juice from frozen grapes in 1794. They were amazed by the high sugar concentration. It was not until the mid 1800's that Ice wine was intentionally made by the winery. This occured in the Rheingau
So, which one is the real one ? beats me! All of them sounds logical to idiotic me! :P
Most of the world’s famous Ice Wine came from Canada. Outside the wine circles, Canadian ice wine is relatively unknown partly because it can only be produced in a few countries under unique conditions, making it rare and very expensive.
The Process :
Grapes are left on the vine well into the winter months. The resulting freezing and thawing of the grapes dehydrates the fruit, and concentrates the sugars, acids, and extracts in the berries, thereby intensifying the flavours and adding complexity to the wine made from it.
The Ice wine harvest, done entirely by hand, commences once the temperature drops below - 10 to -13 degrees C and the grapes have naturally frozen on the vines. As the frozen grapes are pressed, the natural water portion of the juice remains within the grape skins in the form of ice crystals, and a tiny but precious ration of highly concentrated juice is expressed. The frozen grapes are pressed in the extreme cold, only a few drops of sweet concentrated juice is obtained. This juice is then fermented very slowly for several months, stopping naturally.
The Grapes :
Harvested by hand at night to ensure sunlight does not melt the ice, the grapes must be frozen as hard as marbles. Once picked, they are immediately pressed under strict rules.
Typical grapes used for ice wine production are: Riesling, Seyval, Vidal Blanc, and, interestingly, the red grape Cabernet Franc. Cabernet Franc ice wine is a light pink color, like most rose wines. Conclusion - Ice Wine do not come in RED.
The Taste :
The finished ice wine is intensely sweet and flavourful in the initial mouth sensation. The balance is achieved by the acidity, which gives a clean, dry finish. The nose of icewine recalls lychee nuts. The wine tastes of tropical fruits, with shadings of peach nectar and mango.
The Glass :
The glass, item number 444/55, the sixth in the Vinum Extreme collection of machine-blown, lead-crystal glasses, is 87/8 inches (226mm) high and holds 10 ounces (285ccm).
While a glass can't alter a wine or any other beverage, it does dramatically alter our perception of it. Determining that content should command shape, each Riedel glass is designed after thorough oenological analysis of how different taste characteristics are optimized on the nose and palate by variations in glass design, so that, ultimately, each glass makes a beverage taste its best by enhancing its typicity, authenticity and finest characteristics.
Goes with: Cheeses and fruits. It's also a perfect accompaniment to lighter cakes and pastries. Serve it well-chilled.
The Price :
An average bottle of Canadian ice wine costs euro 70 but can range from euro 45 to euro 175. A glass in a restaurant can run to around euro 15.
An Average Bottle of 375ml would cost you somewhere between RM200-RM500 bucks depending on the made and year of the wine.
Wine is the trend now, every ahbeng and ahseng on the block also tried it, they have their own method of drinking it, some add mineral water to it, some add ribena, beers, sodas, you name it. Which is kinda degrading to the serious wine society if you asking me, But nevertheless they bought it and they deserved every rights on how they wanna drink it. :P
4 April 2005
The Uni board approve his application to re-take the exams but this has to be done in a spesel room with only Surus and another Tcher to ensure fairness of the exams.
So come the day of the exams and Surus were waiting for it eagerly. he repotED to the Tcher in charge and he later were instructed to sit at his place getting himself ready for the exams. Five minits later the Tcher handed to him a stack of question papers. Its English! *YES! this should be easy!* says him to himself. Before he jumps right into the questions he took some time to read the instructions carefully.
Sardenli, he stood up and begin to undress himself, he keep undressing untill he is down to his underwear, he then sit back onto his chair. Amazed with his action the Tcher walks over to question this behavior of his.
Tcher : Whay are you naked ?
Surus : I am following the requirements of the exams.
Tcher : What requirements ?
Surus : *Points to one of the line in the instructions section* "This!"
Tcher : *take a closer look*
"Answer the questions in brief "
adj. brief·er, brief·est
1. A short, succinct statement.
2. A condensation or an abstract of a larger document or series of documents.
3. Roman Catholic Church. A papal letter that is not as formal as a bull.
4. briefs Short, tight-fitting underpants.
Anyway i still think today's chicken lice were Outta this World! So if you are around the neighbourHOOT go eat there! gerentik you no regret wan! Nam Heong Chicken Lice Endah Parada Seri Petaling.
After that we goan check on some handphone stuffs with our regular supplier and terus go car park liow. The whole trunk were filled up with our groceries can you imagine the amount of stuffs we bought? Anyway Mrs Wingz begins to nags when we reach home, i dont know why bcoz i wasnt listening LOL! so there she was busy walking up and down arranging all the stuffs we bought onto the right place in the fridge and continue to nags. she stopped nagging about half an hour later, finally peace on earth!
An hour later, Mrs.Wing walked into my study and asked me "did you see where i put my t-shirt just now ?" I answered "Nope", she walked out of my room mumbling something to herself. Then she proceed to look for that t-shirt high and low, i can actually hear her ransacking the laundry department and the guest room from here, the whole thing goes on for merely 30 minutes before she gave up and went to bed. That was 3 hours ago.....then a few minutes ago i suddenly have this urge to drink something fizzy, so i walked to the fridge to get myself a can of coke, when i open the fridge I found Mrs.Wingz t-shirt in it!! Totally frozen ledi! LMAO!!!
She asleep now, wait till i tell her about this tomolo morning! This is hilarious!!!
3 April 2005
Make your own witty / funny and custom road sign ---► HERE
Many thanks to Hang Petai for the link
1 April 2005
|EMERGENCY||EMBASSIES IN KL|
|Police & Ambulance||999||Australia||03 2146 5555|
|Fire||994||Bangladesh||03 2148 7940|
|Civil Defense||991||Brunei||03 2161 2828|
|From Mobile Phone||112||Canada||03 2718 8333|
|Traffic Police||03 2072 9044||China||03 2142 8585|
|TELEKOM||France||03 2053 5500|
|Faults & Repair||100||Germany||03 2142 9666|
|Operator - Domestic||101||India||03 2093 3504|
|Information Enquiries||102||Indonesia||03 2142 1151|
|Directory Enquiries||103||Japan||03 2142 7044|
|Telegram Service||104||Korea (South)||03 4256 9913|
|Operator - International||108||Philipine||03 2148 4233|
|Multilingual Service||198||Singapore||03 2161 6277|
|Telecentre||1050||Thailand||03 2148 8222|
|Time Announcement||1051||United Kingdom||03 2148 2122|
|Weather Forecast||1052||United States||03 2168 5000|
|Toll Free Complaints||15454||HOSPITALS|
|GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENT||Ampang Puteri||03 4270 2500|
|ACA||03 6201 1982||Assunta||03 7782 3433|
|Arkib Negara||03 6201 0688||Damansara||03 7722 2692|
|Bank Negara||03 2698 8044||Damai Service||03 4043 4900|
|Bukit Aman||03 2622 6222||GHKL||03 2692 1044|
|Customs||03 6021 6088||Gleaneagles Intan||03 4257 1300|
|EPF||03 2694 6566||HeartScan||03 2287 0988|
|Fire & Rescue||03 8888 0036||Institut Jantung||03 2298 1333|
|Information Dept||03 2698 3355||Kajang Medical||03 8736 0631|
|Immigration||03 2095 5077||Pandai Cheras||03 9132 2022|
|Income Tax||03 6201 7055||Pantai Medical||03 2282 5077|
|Jabatan Alam Sekitar||03 8885 8200||Pantai Klang||03 3372 5222|
|JAKIM||03 8886 4000||Selangor Medical||03 5543 1111|
|JPA||03 2282 2742||Selayang||03 6136 7788|
|JPN (KL) National Reg||03 2692 5044||Sentosa||03 4043 7166|
|JPN (PJ)||03 7968 3200||SJMC||03 4634 1212|
|JPJ||03 8886 6400||Subang Jaya Medical||03 5634 1212|
|Kerjaraya||03 2691 9011||Sunway Medical||03 7491 9191|
|KLSE||03 2026 7099||Tawakal||03 4023 3599|
|Manpower Dept -JTR||03 2095 7222||Tung Shin||03 2072 1655|
|Meteorology||03 7958 7422||Tun Hussein Onn||03 7956 1511|
|MIDA||03 2095 3633||UKM||03 9173 3333|
|MIMOS||03 8996 5000||University PJ||03 7956 4422|
|Perkeso||03 2274 1122||UTILITY COMPANIES|
|Pos Malaysia||03 4253 5320||Alam Flora||03 2052 7922|
|Reg of Business||03 4029 2125||Indah Water||03 2163 6118|
|Reg of Company||03 4043 3366||JBA Selangor||03 2282 6244|
|Royal Kastam||03 6201 6088||Pos Malaysia||03 2274 4141|
|SIRIM||03 5544 6000||Telekom||03 2020 8088|
|SOCSO||03 4253 5320||Tenaga Nasional||03 2282 5566|
|Tabung Haji||03 2161 2233||RADIO TAXI SERVICE|
|Veterinary||03 2095 0077||Cityline||03 9222 8828|
|PUBLIC COMPLAINTS||Comfort||03 2692 2525|
|Biro Pengaduan||03 8888 7777||KL Teksi||03 9221 8999|
|CAP||04 229 3571||Mesra Cab||03 4043 0569|
|Child Abuse||1 800 883040||Oriental Radio||03 2694 4718|
|Comsumer Association||03 4042 3058||Persatuan Radio||03 2693 6211|
|FOMCA||03 7876 2009||Public Cab||03 6259 2020|
|MCA||03 2163 2305||Radio Taxi||03 9221 7600|
|MM Hotline||03 2282 1002||Saujana||03 2162 8888|
|Persatuan Pengasih||03 6201 3179||Supercab||03 7875 7333|
|FOOD DELIVERY||Sunlight||03 9057 1111|
|Domino's||1 300 888333||Telecab||03 4042 1019|
|MacDonalds||03 2287 7377||Teletaxi||03 9221 1011|
|Pizza Hut||1 300 882525||Wira Cab||03 2144 3630|
|Hotels IN KL||Hotels IN SELANGOR|
|Carcosa Seri Negara||03 2143 7000||Armada||03 7954 6888|
|Capitol||03 2143 7000||Concord Shah Alam||03 5512 2200|
|Cititel Midvalley||03 2196 1188||Crystal Crown||03 7958 4422|
|Concord KL||03 2162 5522||Crystal Crown Klang||03 3165 4422|
|Concord In KLIA||03 8783 3118||Del Palma Ampang||03 4270 7070|
|Corus KL||03 2161 8888||Eastin||03 7665 1111|
|Dorsett Regency||03 2715 1000||Equatorial Bangi||03 8210 2222|
|Duta Vista Pavillion||03 2095 2020||Grand Bluewave||03 5031 3388|
|Dynasty||03 4043 7777||Holiday Inn Shah Alam||03 5510 3696|
|Equotorial||03 2161 7777||Holiday Villa Subang||03 5633 8788|
|Fairlane||03 2148 6888||Hyatt Regency Saujana||03 7846 1234|
|Federal||03 2148 9166||IOI Palm Garden||03 8943 2233|
|Flamingo||03 4256 3288||Marriot Putrajaya||03 8949 8888|
|Furama||03 2070 1777||Mutiara Klang||03 3343 7171|
|Grand Centrepoint||03 2693 3988||Palace of Golden Horses||03 8943 2333|
|Grand Continental||03 2693 9333||Pan Pacific Glenmarie||03 7803 1000|
|Grand Seasons||03 2697 8888||Pan Pacific KLIA||03 8787 3333|
|Hotel Sri Petaling||03 9058 2323||PJ Hilton||03 7955 9122|
|Hotel Malaya||03 2072 7722||Quality Hotel S Alam||03 5510 3696|
|Hotel Maluri Cheras||03 9287 8833||Sheraton Subang||03 5031 6060|
|Impiana||03 2026 6060||Summit - Subang UEP||03 8023 3000|
|Istana||03 2141 9988||Sunway||03 7492 8000|
|JW Marriot||03 2717 9000||Recreations|
|Mandarin Oriental||03 2380 8888||Desa Water Park||03 7118 2210|
|Melia||03 2142 8333||KL Tower||03 2087 5421|
|Micasa Serv Aprt||03 2161 8833||Mines Exhibition||03 8945 2055|
|Midah (Kg Atap)||03 2273 9999||Mines Wonderland||03 8943 6688|
|Ming Court||03 2161 8888||National Library||03 2694 3488|
|Mint Hotel||03 8943 8888||National Museum||03 2282 6255|
|Mutiara KL (KL Hilton)||03 2148 2322||National Planetarium||03 2273 8253|
|New World||03 2163 6888||National Science Centre||03 2525 1150|
|Nikko||03 2161 1111||National Zoo||03 4108 3427|
|Novotel Century||03 2143 9898||Putra World Trade Centre||03 4043 3999|
|Pan Pacific||03 4042 5555||Sunway Lagoon||03 5635 8000|
|Park Plaza||03 2711 8866||Wisma Genting||03 2161 2288|
|Parkroyal||03 2142 5588||Courier Service|
|Pearl International||03 7983 1111||abx||03 7876 3666|
|Swiss Inn||03 2072 3333||Citilink||03 5569 2188|
|The Plaza Hotel||03 2698 2255||DHL||1 300 881188|
|Quality||03 2693 9233||03 7957 1188|
|Regent||03 2141 8000||FedEx||1 800 88 6363|
|Renaissance||03 2162 2233||03 7957 1188|
|Ritz-Carlton||03 2142 8000||Nationwide||03 5512 7000|
|Shangri-la||03 2032 2388||OTS||03 4043 8379|
|Sheraton Imperial||03 2717 9000||TNT||03 5569 2823|
|Swiss Garden||03 2141 3333||UPS||03 7784 1233|
|The Legend||03 4042 9888||CAR RENTAL|
|The Mines||03 8943 6688||Advantage||03 2142 5855|
|Vistana||03 4042 8000||Avis||03 9222 2558|
|HELPLINE||Enesty Hire & Drive||03 7984 7535|
|1 Stop Crisis Center||03 2615 3333||Hawk||03 2164 6455|
|AWAM||03 7787 0224||Hertz||03 2148 6433|
|Befrienders||03 7956 8144||Mayflower||03 6252 1888|
|HAWA||03 2693 0095||Orix||03 9284 7799|
|Talidera||1 800 88 3040||SMAS||03 2080 5066|
|WAO||03 7956 3488||KARAOKE|
|OTHERS||RedBox Low Yat||03 2710 1883|
|AAM Breakdown||03 2161 0808||RedBox Wisma HLA||03 2078 6688|
|Bar Council||03 2691 1698||RedBox Sg Wang||03 2145 7788|
|MTUC||03 8024 2953||RedBox Sunway||03 5633 6669|
|SPCA||03 4256 5312||Star KTV (Bangsar)||03 21626263|
|SUARAM||03 2612 5600||Song Bird (Imbi)||03 2145 3262|
|Airport Coach (Duta)||03 6203 3064||Aeroflot||03 2161 3231|
|Airport Coach(ChanSowLin)||03 4294 2550||Air Asia||03 7845 7777|
|Airport Coach (KLIA)||03 8787 3894||Air India||03 2614 2166|
|Airport Limo||03 9223 8080||Berjaya Air||03 2145 2132|
|Airport Limo (Booking)||03 9223 8949||British Airlines||03 2167 6188|
|Besraya||03 8941 8288||Cathay Pacific||03 2078 3377|
|Intrakota||03 7726 2944||China Southern||03 2144 4432|
|KESAS||03 5633 7188||Garuda||03 2162 2811|
|KLIA||03 8777 8888||Japan Airlines||03 2161 1722|
|KLIA Express||03 2267 7777||KLM||03 2142 0300|
|KLIA Exp (Cust Enquiries)||03 2267 8000||Korean Airlines||03 2142 8460|
|KL Monorail||03 2267 9888||MAS||03 7846 3000|
|KL Sentral||03 2730 2000||Pelangi Airways||03 5513 3700|
|KTM||03 2263 1111||Qantas||03 2167 6000|
|KTM - Call Center||03 2267 1200||Royal Brunei||03 2070 7166|
|Len Seng||03 4024 1977||SIA||03 2692 3122|
|Litrak||03 5633 3929||Swiss Air||03 2162 7885|
|Park May||03 7982 7060||Thai Airways||03 2031 1900|
|PLUS||03 7981 8000||BANKS|
|PLUS - Ronda||03 2692 2000||ABN-AMRO||03 2162 6666|
|Plusliner||03 2272 1586||Affin Bank||03 2055 9000|
|Putra LRT||1 800 388228||Alliance Bank||03 2694 8800|
|SPRINT||03 7960 1050||Alliance Fincance||03 2691 8989|
|SPRINT - Ronda||1 800 6868||Bangkok Bank||03 2072 4552|
|Star LRT||1 800 388228||Bank Islam||03 2711 2930|
|Toong Foong||03 9222 8053||Bank Negara Malaysia||03 2968 8044|
|CREDIT CARDS / CARDS||Bank Simpanan Malaysia||03 2162 3222|
|Amex||03 2026 1770||Bank Utama||03 2144 6355|
|Bonuslink||03 7626 1000||Bumiputra Commerce||03 2693 1722|
|Citibank||03 2383 0000||Citibank||03 2383 0000|
|Diners Club||03 2161 1381||EON Bank||03 2694 8888|
|Direct Access||03 6204 7777||Hong Leong Bank||03 2164 2525|
|MBf||03 2161 8075||Hong Leong Finance||03 2164 3939|
|HSBC||03 2072 1966||HSBC Bank||03 2070 0744|
|Touch & Go||03 7628 5115||Maybank||03 2070 8833|
|UOB||03 2612 8121||Maybank Finance||03 2297 2000|
|MINISTRIES||OCBC Bank||03 2692 0344|
|Agrivulture||03 2698 2011||Public Bank||03 2176 6000|
|Culture, Arts & Tourism||03 2693 7111||Public Finance||03 2274 1788|
|Defence||03 2692 1333||Scotiabank||03 2141 0766|
|Domestic Trade||03 2274 2100||Southern Bank||03 2087 3000|
|Education||03 2098 6900||Southern Finance||03 2141 1155|
|Energy,Com& Multimedia||03 2087 5000||Standard Chartered||03 2072 6555|
|Entepreneur Devp||03 2098 5022||UOB Bank||03 2692 4511|
|Finance||03 8882 3000||LOST ATM CARDS / CARDS|
|Foreign Affairs||03 8887 4000||Bank Islam||03 2698 9608|
|Health||03 2698 5077||Bumiputra Commerce||1 300 880900|
|Home Affairs||03 8886 8000||Dinners Club||03 216101055|
|Housing & Local Gvt||03 2094 7033||Hong Leong Bank||1 800 388888|
|Human Resource||03 8886 5000||Master Card International||1 800 804594|
|Information||03 2282 5333||Maybank||1 800 882828|
|In't Trade & Industry||03 6203 3022||Perwira Affin Bank||03 5511 4323|
|Minister Office||03 8888 1957||Public Bank||03 2163 9191|
|Labour/Human Resource||03 8886 5000||RHB Bank||03 2070 4299|
|Primary Industry||03 2274 7511||Visa Card International||1 800 802997|
|Rural Development||03 8889 3500||LOCAL AUTHORITIES|
|Science, Tech & Envt||03 8885 8000||DBKL||03 2693 4531|
|Taxi Complaints||03 2698 5022||MPAJ||03 4296 8000|
|Transport||03 2094 8122||MPK||03 3371 6044|
|Women & Family Dev||03 2691 9104||MPPJ||03 7956 3544|
|Works||03 2771 4050||MBSA||03 5510 5133|
|Youths & Sports||03 2693 2255||MPSJ||03 8026 3131|
|Amcorp Mall||03 7958 5318||Berita Harian||03 2282 2323|
|Atria||03 7727 3000||Bernama||03 2694 5233|
|Bangsar||03 2145 7700||Business Times||03 2282 2628|
|BB Plaza||03 2148 7411||China Press||03 2282 8208|
|Cheras Leisure Mall||03 9130 5088||Malay Mail||03 2282 1002|
|Great Eastern Mall||03 4259 8888||New Straits Times||03 2282 3322|
|Plaza Low Yat||03 2148 3651||Sin Chew Jit Poh||03 7958 7777|
|Sogo||03 2699 6251||The Edge||03 7660 3838|
|Star Hill||03 2148 7788||The Sun||03 7784 6688|
|Street Mall||03 8312 8000||The Star||03 7967 1388|
|The Mall||03 4044 4309||ISPs|
|The Summit||03 8024 8188||Celcom.net||019 300 0900|
|The Weld||03 2161 8422||Jaring||03 8996 5000|
|EPF||Maxis Net||1 300 821512|
|Head office||03 2694 6566||Timenet||03 2710 6200|
|Bandar||03 2694 6051||TMnet||03 8318 8027|
|Cheras||03 9130 6161||POLICE STATIONS|
|Gombak||03 6185 0780||Ampang||03 4252 2222|
|Kajang||03 8737 5225||Brickfields||03 2274 2222|
|Kepong||03 6251 2566||Cheras||03 9284 0083|
|Klang||03 3342 0344||Dang Wangi||03 2691 2222|
|Petaling Jaya||03 7958 4100||Petaling Jaya||03 7956 2222|
|Pudu||03 2078 6788||TRAVEL AGENCIES|
|Setapak||03 4149 9499||Jebson Travel||03 2148 0604|
|Shah Alam||03 5519 2155||Ken Air Leisure||03 2142 3722|
|MOBILE OPERATORS||Mayflower||03 6252 1888|
|Atur||800 9292||MSL Travel||03 4042 4722|
|Celcom||03 2162 3900||Pearl Holiday||03 8739 9999|
|019 3000900||PERNAS||03 2144 6044|
|Digi||016 221 1800||Peter Stuyvesant||03 2163 5588|
|03 2145 2126||Reliance Travel||03 2711 1000|
|Maxis||03 7492 2123||Start Cruise||03 3101 1313|
|1 300 820120||Triways||03 7728 2033|
|TimeCel||017 1717||MAS's BRANCHES|
|03 2070 1717||Alor Setar||04 731 1106|
|TM Touch||013 1111||Ipoh||05 241 4155|
|03 2055 8888||Johor Bahru||07 334 1001|
|RADIO / TV||Kuala Lumpur||03 7846 3000|
|Astro||03 9543 4188||Kuala Terengganu||09 623 1767|
|Hitz FM (92.9)||03 9543 3311||Kuantan||09 515 7055|
|Light & Ez (105.7)||03 9543 3333||Kota Bharu||09 744 7000|
|Mix FM (94.5)||03 9543 3322||Langkawai||04 966 8621|
|MyFM (101.8)||03 9543 3366||Melaka||06 283 5722|
|NTV 7||03 5569 1777||Penang||04 262 0011|
|RFM||03 4048 1988||Singapore||02 336 6777|
|RTM||03 2282 5333||ENTERTAINMENT / RESTAURANTS|
|TV3||03 7726 6333||American Chili's (MidValley)||03 2287 6788|
|WOWfm (97.6)||03 7957 8969||American Chili's (KLCC)||03 2164 1400|
|CINEMA BOOKING||Bangsar Seafood Village||03 2282 2555|
|Cheras Leisure Mall||03 9132 2617||Beach Club||03 2166 9919|
|GSC Midvalley||03 2938 3366||Bintang Shack||03 2142 4009|
|Puchong IOI Mall||03 5882 3669||CIAO||03 9285 4827|
|TGV||03 7492 2929||Dome KLCC||03 2166 1948|
|FLIGHT INFORMATION||Eden Seafood||03 2141 4027|
|KLIA||03 8776 4135||Emporium Disco||03 2142 6666|
|Subang||03 7846 3000||Hard Rock Café||03 2715 5555|
|Penang||04 643 0501||Kelana Seafood||03 7803 8118|
|Changi||02 542 9727||Modesto's Jln P Ramlee||03 2713 2333|
|LOTTERY RESULTS||Planet Hollywoord KL||03 2144 6602|
|1+3D||03 9280 4688||Salsaki Japanese Buffet||03 2166 3728|
|Magnum||03 2141 6766||Souled Out||03 2300 1955|
|Toto||03 2144 2332||Viva Dance Club||03 7665 5123|
|Albania Embassy||603 - 2538102|
|British Consulate & Trade Office||082 - 231320|
|British High Commission||603 - 2482122|
|Embassy of the Republic of Croatia||603 - 4535340|
|Algeria Embassy||603 - 2488159|
|Ambassador De France||603 - 2483853|
|Argentina Embassy||603 - 2550176|
|Australian High Commission||603 - 2423122|
|Austrian Embassy||603 - 2484277|
|Bangladesh Embassy||603 - 2423271|
|Belgium Embassy||603 - 2625733|
|Brazil Embassy||603 - 2548020|
|Canadian High Commission||603 - 2612000|
|Chile Embassy||603 - 2616203|
|Consulate General of Greece||603 - 2386789|
|Czechoslovak Federal Republic Embassy||603 - 2427185|
|Danish Embassy||603 - 2022001|
|Equador Embassy||603 - 2945879|
|Egypt Embassy||603 - 4568184|
|Fiji Embassy||603 - 2648422|
|Finland Embassy||603 - 2611088|
|France Embassy||603 - 2484122|
|Germany Embassy||603 - 2429666|
|High Commission of India||603 - 2547820|
|India High Commission||603 - 2533510|
|Indonesia Embassy||603 - 2452011|
|Iran Embassy||603 - 4514824|
|Iraq Embassy||603 - 2480555|
|Islamic Counsellor Saudi Arabia Embassy||603 - 4579833|
|Italy Embassy||603 - 4565122|
|Japan Embassy||603 - 2427044|
|Korea Embassy (North Korea)||603 - 4569913|
|Korea Embassy (South Korea)||603 - 2622377|
|Korea Trade Center||603 - 2429939|
|Kuwait Embassy||603 - 2410033|
|Laos Embassy||603 - 2483895|
|Libyan Arab Jamahiriya||603 - 2482112|
|Mauritius High Commission||603 - 2411870|
|Mexico Embassy||603 - 2388082|
|Morocco Embassy||603 - 2610708|
|Myanmar Embassy||603 - 4560280|
|Nafhas Enterprise||603 - 6841793|
|Namibia High Commission||603 - 2647015|
|Netherlands Embassy||603 - 2485151|
|New Zealand High Commission||603 - 2382533|
|Norwegian Royal Embassy||603 - 2420144|
|Oman Embassy||603 - 2453109|
|Pakistan Embassy||603 - 2618877|
|Palestine Embassy||603 - 4568905|
|Papua New Guinea||603 - 4532400|
|Philippines Embassy||603 - 2484233|
|Poland Embassy||603 - 4576733|
|Romania Embassy||603 - 2423172|
|Romania-Trade Representation||603 - 2482065|
|Saudi Arabia Royal Embassy||603 - 4579433|
|Singapore High Commission||603 - 2616277|
|Spain Embassy||603 - 2484868|
|Sri Lanka High Commission||603 - 2444403|
|Sudan Embassy||603 - 4569104|
|Brunei Darussalam||603 - 2612800|
|Swedish Embassy||603 - 2485981|
|Switzerland Embassy||603 - 2480622|
|Thailand Royal Embassy||603 - 2488222|
|Turkish Embassy||603 - 4572226|
|U S S R Embassy||603 - 4567252|
|United Nations Dep't Programmed||603 - 2559122|
|United Nations - Refugees||603 - 2411322|
|United States of America Embassy||603 - 2489011|
|Uruguay Embassy||603 - 2433723|
|Venezuela Embassy||603 - 2633444|
|Vietnam Embassy||603 - 2484036|
|Yugoslavia Embassy||603 - 4564561|
|Zimbabwe Hugh Commission||603 - 4517252|
|De Memory Hamper & Gifts||03-5882 4290|
|Blooming Florist Sdn Bhd||03-7803 3333|
|Airline Companies||Telephone No|
|Air Asia||03-8776 4690|
|Air India||03-2142 0323|
|Cathay Pacific||03-8787 2808/3808|
|China Airlines||03-8776 6066/8|
|Eva Airways||03-8776 6233|
|Garuda Indonesia||03-8787 4064|
|Japan Airlines||03-8787 1110|
|KLM Royal Dutch Airlines||03-8776 6260/55|
|Lauda Air||03-8776 6305/6|
|Lufthansa German Airlines||03-2161 4666|
|Malaysian Airlines||03-8776 4712|
|Northwest Airlines||03-8776 6252|
|Singapore Airlines||03-8776 6430/27|
|Thai International Airways||03-8787 3522|
|Virgin Atlantic||03-8787 1403|
|Assunta Hospital||03-7782 3433|
|Damansara Specialist Hospital||03-7722 2692|
|Gleneagles Intan Medical Centre||03-4257 1300|
|Hospital Pantai Indah||03-4289 2828|
|Hospital Putrajaya||03-8888 0080|
|Institut Jantung Negara||03-2617 8200|
|Kuala Lumpur General Hospital||03-2615 5555|
|Mont' Kiara Medical City||03-2382 3500|
|Pantai Cheras Medical Centre||03-9132 2022|
|Pantai Klang Specialist Medical Centre||03-3372 5222|
|Pantai Medical Centre||03-2296 0888|
|Selayang Hospital||03-6120 3233|
|Subang Jaya Medical Centre||03-7491 9191|
|Sunway Medical centre||03-7491 9191|
|Tawakal Specialist Hospital||03-4023 3599|
|Tun Hussein Onn National Eye Hospital||03-7956 1511|
|Airport Limo booking centre||03-9223 8080|
|Airport Limo airport counter||03-8787 3675|
|Jamaludin (cab plate #: WJH 7791)||H/P:012 3775949|
|Mr Jeff (cab plate #: HWB 94)||H/P:013 3619587|
|Mr Leong (cab plate #: HWB 48)||H/P:013 3011567|
|Raja Zulhairi||H/P:019 3964626|
|En Aru||H/P:012 2011530|
|Mass Transport System||Telephone No|
|KLIA EXPRESS careline||03-2267 8000|
|ERL Hotline||03-2267 7777|
|KL Sentral||03-2279 8888|
|PUTRA LRT (7-7pm, M-F, 11-3pm, Sat)||1800 388 228|
|PUTRA LRT - after office hours||017 331 7779|
|STAR LRT Hotline||03-4294 2550|
|KL Monorail Hotline||03-2272 3801|
|KTMB Hotline||03-2272 2828|
|KTMB Call centre||03-2267 1200|
|KTMB Subang Jaya station||03-5634 1677|
|KTMB Klang station||03-3371 9917|
|Golden Phoenix||03-8925 1111|
|Little Penang Kafe||03-2282 0215|
|Madam Kwan's||03-2026 2297|
|Old China Cafe||03-2072 5915|
|Penang House||03-8313 1598 / 1599|
|Restoran Sam Pan||03-7725 9255|
|Summer Palace Chinese Restaurant||03-8949 8888 x1332|
|Xing Zhu Chinese Restaurant||03-8312 7223|
|Abdul & Charlie's||03-8943 6688|
|Piccolo Lago||03-8889 3268|
|Hot Sambal Restaurant||03-7722 2205|
|Restoran Selera La Tumis||03-8318 6730|
|Saloma Theatre Restaurant||03-2161 0122|
|Seri Melayu||03-2145 1833|
|Bangsar Seafood||03-2282 2555|
|D'Fisherman Seafood Restaurant||03-8889 1188|
|Kelana Seafood||03-7803 8118|
|Bytes Café||03-8318 3868|
|The Verandah||03-8312 7018|
|Top Hat Restaurant||03-8318 0018 / 20|