29 April 2005
28 April 2005
Petaling St. BRA Trader
Once there is a stage in my life where most of my available time were spent in Petaling Street extorting protecting getting to know the community there real well. Me and the rest of the geng will start patrolling walking around from 4pm onwards. Our job is to make sure others touts dint crossed into our territory and bikin havoc. Sometimes we also nid to settle some qweilos who bikin heboh at the stalls after they felt they are being cheated.
After a few weeks of lepak-ing kat Petaling St. I managed to make frend with this particular AhBeng, lia mia nama is AhLee, hes bout my age at that time and his parents owns a stall in Petaling St. Selling BRAS, hes a very well known figure in Petaling St. back then bcoz of his expertise. And bcoz of this also hes given a nickname by flers traders in Petaling St., his official nick name is AhLeeBRABRA.
Lemme tell you how he get this nick, he got this gift of being able to tell wat size and cup you are wearing by just one look, he would even suggest what kinda cup shape would be more comfy and most of the customers will agree to his choice. Thats how he get his nickname.
So, one rainy day where business is not so good and everyone is free bcoz there is no customers, we happen to stop by his stall and had a lil chat with him. He then told us.
AhLeeBRABRA : oi oi u wanna see the latest bra design anot ?
Me : What ? see bra only ar ? Erm-moi lar!
AhLeeBRABRA : Got model wearing the bra one wor!
Me : Got Lenglui ?! OK OK, where ? show show!
*AhLeeBRABRA proceeds to take some photos from underneath his counter*
AhLeeBRABRA : Nah u see for urself la!!! this season this new design very HOT in YAPUN one!
Pls. Refer to the Pics below to see whats HOT!
After a few weeks of lepak-ing kat Petaling St. I managed to make frend with this particular AhBeng, lia mia nama is AhLee, hes bout my age at that time and his parents owns a stall in Petaling St. Selling BRAS, hes a very well known figure in Petaling St. back then bcoz of his expertise. And bcoz of this also hes given a nickname by flers traders in Petaling St., his official nick name is AhLeeBRABRA.
Lemme tell you how he get this nick, he got this gift of being able to tell wat size and cup you are wearing by just one look, he would even suggest what kinda cup shape would be more comfy and most of the customers will agree to his choice. Thats how he get his nickname.
So, one rainy day where business is not so good and everyone is free bcoz there is no customers, we happen to stop by his stall and had a lil chat with him. He then told us.
AhLeeBRABRA : oi oi u wanna see the latest bra design anot ?
Me : What ? see bra only ar ? Erm-moi lar!
AhLeeBRABRA : Got model wearing the bra one wor!
Me : Got Lenglui ?! OK OK, where ? show show!
*AhLeeBRABRA proceeds to take some photos from underneath his counter*
AhLeeBRABRA : Nah u see for urself la!!! this season this new design very HOT in YAPUN one!
Pls. Refer to the Pics below to see whats HOT!
TangLung Bra, auspicious during Pat-Yuet-Sarp-Em
(Mooncake festival)
(Mooncake festival)
Durian Bra, ngam for those whose bf got itchy hands
and keep wandering around without approval one
and keep wandering around without approval one
Coconut Bra, ngam for enviromentalist, recyclable
and enviromental friendly
and enviromental friendly
Chinese Chopstick and Bowl Bra, Highly appropriate
during CNY reunion dinner! Auspicious for businessman!
during CNY reunion dinner! Auspicious for businessman!
Seliper Yapun Bra, recomended for those who
fits the criteria for a perfect airport runway.
fits the criteria for a perfect airport runway.
Me : *Lau Bei Huet*
27 April 2005
Bush Released Monica ?
One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He
immediately goes to ... hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have
no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what
I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.
In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and
surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't
think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge
hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer,
timeafter time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony
if all I could do was break rocks all day" commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the
floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread
eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go, Bush is taking over your place!
LMAO!
immediately goes to ... hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have
no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what
I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.
In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and
surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't
think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge
hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer,
timeafter time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony
if all I could do was break rocks all day" commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the
floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread
eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go, Bush is taking over your place!
LMAO!
25 April 2005
a pinjamED Entry
Was blog hopping just now and found this nice joke entry by dracolshian so i thot i share it with everyone who need a boost before you start your day!
There was once a customs officer guarding at the border between US and Mexico. One day, a young man tried to ride a bicycle across the borders with a heavy sack on it. He was stopped abruptly by the officer.
Officer: Hey, you! Stop! Let me see what's in the sack.
So the man opened it and the officer found sand in the sack. So, he let the young man go. The next day, it was the same man again. And the same thing happened. There was only sand in the sack. Again, the officer let the young man cross over. This happened day after day, for 10 years until the officer retired.
One day, the retired officer met the young man at a restaurant in Mexico and they sat down for a talk.
Officer: Hey, now that I've retired, you can tell me what have you been smuggling all these years in the sack. Come on, tell me. I won't tell anyone.
Man: I haven't been smuggling anything in the sack. *pause for a while* I've been smuggling the bicycles.
Officer: ....
Permalink : http://dracolshian.blogspot.com/2005/04/different-version-of-sua-ku.html
Many thanks to dracolshian
There was once a customs officer guarding at the border between US and Mexico. One day, a young man tried to ride a bicycle across the borders with a heavy sack on it. He was stopped abruptly by the officer.
Officer: Hey, you! Stop! Let me see what's in the sack.
So the man opened it and the officer found sand in the sack. So, he let the young man go. The next day, it was the same man again. And the same thing happened. There was only sand in the sack. Again, the officer let the young man cross over. This happened day after day, for 10 years until the officer retired.
One day, the retired officer met the young man at a restaurant in Mexico and they sat down for a talk.
Officer: Hey, now that I've retired, you can tell me what have you been smuggling all these years in the sack. Come on, tell me. I won't tell anyone.
Man: I haven't been smuggling anything in the sack. *pause for a while* I've been smuggling the bicycles.
Officer: ....
Permalink : http://dracolshian.blogspot.com/2005/04/different-version-of-sua-ku.html
Many thanks to dracolshian
BAHAYA - MUDAH TERBAKAR
Click on the above image to enlarge
Manglish Translation:
DENMARK - Got one fler KentutED while having surgery and cause his kkc and chuntois kena burnt. The fler age is 30 over oni, he wanna remove his buntut mia taik lalat, itu masa itu lokter pakai itu lektri mia pisau, lokter baru mau potong oni he ter-kentutED pasal lia mia kentut kena itu pisau mia spark and api kluar lepas tu lia mia chuntois and kkc alredi soakeing wet with flamable mia alchohol so his "tools" also terbakar.
The fler also saman-ing the hospital also said "when i wokeup, my kkc and chuntois very panas and ader than the pain i also knot make lafu to my wife ledi". Then the fler in hopsital pulak said "itu kita olang manyak soli, bukan kita olang mia pasal"
- End of translation -
22 April 2005
Kai Jing (Essence of Chicken)
Caution : 18SX - Not for minors. Parental Advisory, Explicit content!
Kai Jing (Essence of Chicken)
AhKit is only 18 yrs old and hes one horny basket (Chicken worm) and is not sure what to do about it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five Linggit . AhKit walks down the street to the Rumah Tumpangan KiewKiew (Chowkit Branch) and knocks on the door. The mamasan opens the door and asks AhKit, “Budak apa mau ?”. "I'm really horny but I only have RM5. What can you do for me?” AhKit asks the mamasan. She looks at AhKit and said, "Don't worry lahhh we can kautim for you one. No poblem."
She bawak AhKit into this room where in the opposite corner is a chicken. AhKit thinks about this for a second and figures it can't be that bad. He gives the mamasan the RM5 and closes the door behind her. With the eagerness of a young teenager he quickly undresses.
Once naked, AhKit tarak Buangmasa and starts to hantam the ayam. As soon as AhKit developes a rentak he starts to enjoy himself very muchi!. He and the ayam really go at it for a while until all that built up frustration is finally released. AhKit can't remember when he has had such a pleasurable Sexperience.
One week later, and hamsups again, AhKit has saved up RM10.Being a satisfied customer he goes back to the same mamasan and asks what she can do for him for RM10.
"Well for RM10 we have spesel show for lu", the mamasan replies. She leads him into a different VIP room where there are several other people sitting on benches. "Sit back and enjoy the show AhKit", the mamasan tells AhKit.
AhKit gives the money to the mamasan and takes a seat on one of benches. Soon after, they tutup lampu and bukak langsir revealing another room on the other side of a two way mirror where two women begin to undress each other.
AhKit is very impressed. Clearly these women are unaware anyone is watching as they begin to make love to each other passionately. Apparently there is nothing they won't do to each other.
AhKit once again feels like he is getting his money's worth. He turns to the person beside him and says, "Dis a vehlee good show for ten linggit eh?!
The guy turns to AhKit and says, "NO LAH! .....last week lagi terror la! We saw a guy fuck a Chicken."
Kai Jing (Essence of Chicken)
AhKit is only 18 yrs old and hes one horny basket (Chicken worm) and is not sure what to do about it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five Linggit . AhKit walks down the street to the Rumah Tumpangan KiewKiew (Chowkit Branch) and knocks on the door. The mamasan opens the door and asks AhKit, “Budak apa mau ?”. "I'm really horny but I only have RM5. What can you do for me?” AhKit asks the mamasan. She looks at AhKit and said, "Don't worry lahhh we can kautim for you one. No poblem."
She bawak AhKit into this room where in the opposite corner is a chicken. AhKit thinks about this for a second and figures it can't be that bad. He gives the mamasan the RM5 and closes the door behind her. With the eagerness of a young teenager he quickly undresses.
Once naked, AhKit tarak Buangmasa and starts to hantam the ayam. As soon as AhKit developes a rentak he starts to enjoy himself very muchi!. He and the ayam really go at it for a while until all that built up frustration is finally released. AhKit can't remember when he has had such a pleasurable Sexperience.
One week later, and hamsups again, AhKit has saved up RM10.Being a satisfied customer he goes back to the same mamasan and asks what she can do for him for RM10.
"Well for RM10 we have spesel show for lu", the mamasan replies. She leads him into a different VIP room where there are several other people sitting on benches. "Sit back and enjoy the show AhKit", the mamasan tells AhKit.
AhKit gives the money to the mamasan and takes a seat on one of benches. Soon after, they tutup lampu and bukak langsir revealing another room on the other side of a two way mirror where two women begin to undress each other.
AhKit is very impressed. Clearly these women are unaware anyone is watching as they begin to make love to each other passionately. Apparently there is nothing they won't do to each other.
AhKit once again feels like he is getting his money's worth. He turns to the person beside him and says, "Dis a vehlee good show for ten linggit eh?!
The guy turns to AhKit and says, "NO LAH! .....last week lagi terror la! We saw a guy fuck a Chicken."
How to get Free Train Ride
6 factory workers (3 supervisors-cina and 3 technicians-Bangla) are going to a seminar and must travel by train to get there. At the KTM stesen, the three bangle technicians buy three tikets and watch as the three supervisors buy only a single tiket. "How are three people going to travel on only one tiket?" says one bangla technician. "you wait and see lar," answers a supervisor.
They all board the train and the bangle technicians take their seats and watch as all three supervisors cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. The train departs and shortly afterward, the conductor comes around collecting tikets. He knocks on the toilet door and says "Tiket mana ? " The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a tiket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The bangla technicians see all this and agreed it is quite a clever idea. So after the seminar, the bangla technicians decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money . When they get to the KTM stesen, they buy a single tiket for the return trip. But to their astonishment, the supervisorss don't buy any tiket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a single tiket?" says one bangla technician. "You wait and see larrr" answers a supervisor.
They board the train. The three bangla technicians cram into a toilet compartment and the three supervisors cram into an another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the supervisors leaves his toilet, walks over to the bangle technicians toilet, knocks on the door and says, "Tiket mana ?".
They all board the train and the bangle technicians take their seats and watch as all three supervisors cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. The train departs and shortly afterward, the conductor comes around collecting tikets. He knocks on the toilet door and says "Tiket mana ? " The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a tiket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The bangla technicians see all this and agreed it is quite a clever idea. So after the seminar, the bangla technicians decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money . When they get to the KTM stesen, they buy a single tiket for the return trip. But to their astonishment, the supervisorss don't buy any tiket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a single tiket?" says one bangla technician. "You wait and see larrr" answers a supervisor.
They board the train. The three bangla technicians cram into a toilet compartment and the three supervisors cram into an another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the supervisors leaves his toilet, walks over to the bangle technicians toilet, knocks on the door and says, "Tiket mana ?".
21 April 2005
Creative Motto(s) from abroad
Over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On anoder plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "We can help you pick your nose!"
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
Source : Dana
On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On anoder plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "We can help you pick your nose!"
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
Source : Dana
20 April 2005
WTF iz Spring Bag .....
One day, was excitedly playing with the newly discovered Skype (shoud be pronounce as "skaip" but were popularly pronounced as "Sky-pee" by some) with Irene, Dave and piggy. Even tho everibodi are of chinese origin, nevertheless language/dialect barrier still exist bcoz some of us cant speak Mandarin, I managed to recall part of the conversation that took place.
Irene : Dave ni hao! (Dave, how are you?)
Dave : Eh Wingz what she toking har ?
Irene : Dave ni pu hwei hwah yue der ar ? (Dave you donno mandarin one ar ?)
Me : Dave, shes toking in mandarin la asking you how are you
Dave : eh u tell her to tok ingris la, i dont understand mandarin leh
Me : Irene, Dave pu tung hwah yue der ler, tah jiaw ni jiang yingwern ler. (Irene, he dun understand mandarin one ler, he ask u to tok ingris)
Irene : Ok Ok
Me : Irene, can you translate 2 words for me into mandarin ? i not very good with madarin la
Irene : sure, what izzit ?
Me : Can you please translate "Spring Bag" for me pls ?
Irene : What is spring bag ?
Dave : Yea, wtf is spring bag ?
Me : Dave u dun kkcc la (kkcc - kakacaucau/dun disturb)
Irene : Wingz, Ser mork sir spring bag ?
Me : Spring ar .. spring is the 4 season punya spring lor ... neh Winter, Autumn, Summer and Spring ahhhh ... that one laaa
Irene : oh ... in mandarin that is call "Chun"
Me : Then bag in mandarin is call wat ar ?
Irene : Plastic bag ?
Me : No, not plastic bag. Just bag alone call wat ledi ?
Irene : Bag is call "Taie"
Me : Irene, then Spring bag is call wat ?
Irene : Chun Taie lor!
Me & Dave & Piggy : LMAO!!! *luffing like cicaks hilang ekor lidat"
Irene : What are you guys luffing at ??
Dave : Nothing nothing ! *continue to luff*
Me : Irene you know canto anot ?
Irene : abit ler
Me : Irene, then u try to translate that into canto lar, see u know how to do anot
Irene : Dunwan! later i say wrong ledi u all luff at me one.
Me : Wont one larrrr .... faster lerrr
Irene : I say wrong ledi u all dun luff horrr
Me & Dave : ok ok we wont we wont
Irene : err ... *mumbling-mumbling* if im not wrong i think canto shud be "Chun toi"
Me & Dave & Piggy : *luffing like kena mad cow disease with tears kambing out from our eyes, mucus kambing out from our nose and banging our head onto our keybod*
Irene : Choiii!!!!! ALAMAK !!!! u 2 tricked me !!!!! *Curse! Curse!*
We tried others translations too! i.e.:
1) Gei Park - Canto (How White) try translate it into mandarin
2) Larn Keok - Canto (Wounded Leg) try translate into mandarin also
Got many more lagi! buden share with lu olangs nx time lar .... dunwan skali sai lang everything ... nx time no more juice liow can write again LOL!
Irene : Dave ni hao! (Dave, how are you?)
Dave : Eh Wingz what she toking har ?
Irene : Dave ni pu hwei hwah yue der ar ? (Dave you donno mandarin one ar ?)
Me : Dave, shes toking in mandarin la asking you how are you
Dave : eh u tell her to tok ingris la, i dont understand mandarin leh
Me : Irene, Dave pu tung hwah yue der ler, tah jiaw ni jiang yingwern ler. (Irene, he dun understand mandarin one ler, he ask u to tok ingris)
Irene : Ok Ok
Me : Irene, can you translate 2 words for me into mandarin ? i not very good with madarin la
Irene : sure, what izzit ?
Me : Can you please translate "Spring Bag" for me pls ?
Irene : What is spring bag ?
Dave : Yea, wtf is spring bag ?
Me : Dave u dun kkcc la (kkcc - kakacaucau/dun disturb)
Irene : Wingz, Ser mork sir spring bag ?
Me : Spring ar .. spring is the 4 season punya spring lor ... neh Winter, Autumn, Summer and Spring ahhhh ... that one laaa
Irene : oh ... in mandarin that is call "Chun"
Me : Then bag in mandarin is call wat ar ?
Irene : Plastic bag ?
Me : No, not plastic bag. Just bag alone call wat ledi ?
Irene : Bag is call "Taie"
Me : Irene, then Spring bag is call wat ?
Irene : Chun Taie lor!
Me & Dave & Piggy : LMAO!!! *luffing like cicaks hilang ekor lidat"
Irene : What are you guys luffing at ??
Dave : Nothing nothing ! *continue to luff*
Me : Irene you know canto anot ?
Irene : abit ler
Me : Irene, then u try to translate that into canto lar, see u know how to do anot
Irene : Dunwan! later i say wrong ledi u all luff at me one.
Me : Wont one larrrr .... faster lerrr
Irene : I say wrong ledi u all dun luff horrr
Me & Dave : ok ok we wont we wont
Irene : err ... *mumbling-mumbling* if im not wrong i think canto shud be "Chun toi"
Me & Dave & Piggy : *luffing like kena mad cow disease with tears kambing out from our eyes, mucus kambing out from our nose and banging our head onto our keybod*
Irene : Choiii!!!!! ALAMAK !!!! u 2 tricked me !!!!! *Curse! Curse!*
We tried others translations too! i.e.:
1) Gei Park - Canto (How White) try translate it into mandarin
2) Larn Keok - Canto (Wounded Leg) try translate into mandarin also
Got many more lagi! buden share with lu olangs nx time lar .... dunwan skali sai lang everything ... nx time no more juice liow can write again LOL!
Lunton Anderground!
Hillarious Flash !!! its about the London tube, the underground train service, this link were given to me by Klutz
Click on the link and Luff yer Ass-off!!! pls proceed if u are armed with scream-ass (streamyx) ok ?
LunTon AnderGround
*Click on the "PLAY" button to start the flash, thank you*
Thanks Klutz *Muacks*
Click on the link and Luff yer Ass-off!!! pls proceed if u are armed with scream-ass (streamyx) ok ?
LunTon AnderGround
*Click on the "PLAY" button to start the flash, thank you*
Thanks Klutz *Muacks*
19 April 2005
WAI AI BLOK?
Welokam! I bid you!
Its abit late to tok bout WHY I BLOG isnt it ? "I KNOW! I KNOW!" but I havent done this beore so i m still entitled to do it at least once!
I have been reading a few blogs on a daily basis before i decided to have my own, I learnt in those blogs that i read that one can really express themself freely and makes you pounder on it for sometime as to how much truth existed in those words. How true how true .....
Now thats not the reason why I blog, I actually hate to writes, I do not follow the trend (Im one of those who would dress up like a begger), I am not after fame, awards nor recognitions, NO NO NO .. that above is really non of the reason why I am doing this.
I did it because I felt so helpless most of the time. Look at our world today, look at how pathetic and sad our lifes has become. Disasters happens everywhere, humans are suffering, new kinda disease surfaces everyday, mankind are suffering from all this and I cant do antyhing about it. How sorrow how true.
Blogging is my way to contributes to human who need a little relief from all that, perhaps maybe for 5 minutes a day or even more and YET I hope what i did, what I am doing is making a significant differences in their daily life, with just one dose of joke everyday. That's my noble intention, small but sincere.
Nevertheless, there will still be people who do not agree with this. For those, I wanna share with you what I saw today in one of those KL's famous roadside stalls. This road side stall i patroned has this BIG sign that says :
3 Putt Mai (3 conditions of sales)
1. Erm Dung Duck, Putt Mai (if u cant wait, we refuse to sell)
2. Yim Jim, Putt Mai (If you are picky, we refuse to sell too)
3. Yong Sui, Putt Mai (If we dont like your face, we wont sell either!)
So, you see if you seriously do not like what i blogs here, please dont spoil your day ok ? Do us both a favor, thats the door, just walk that way! *Cheers!*
Its abit late to tok bout WHY I BLOG isnt it ? "I KNOW! I KNOW!" but I havent done this beore so i m still entitled to do it at least once!
I have been reading a few blogs on a daily basis before i decided to have my own, I learnt in those blogs that i read that one can really express themself freely and makes you pounder on it for sometime as to how much truth existed in those words. How true how true .....
Now thats not the reason why I blog, I actually hate to writes, I do not follow the trend (Im one of those who would dress up like a begger), I am not after fame, awards nor recognitions, NO NO NO .. that above is really non of the reason why I am doing this.
I did it because I felt so helpless most of the time. Look at our world today, look at how pathetic and sad our lifes has become. Disasters happens everywhere, humans are suffering, new kinda disease surfaces everyday, mankind are suffering from all this and I cant do antyhing about it. How sorrow how true.
Blogging is my way to contributes to human who need a little relief from all that, perhaps maybe for 5 minutes a day or even more and YET I hope what i did, what I am doing is making a significant differences in their daily life, with just one dose of joke everyday. That's my noble intention, small but sincere.
Nevertheless, there will still be people who do not agree with this. For those, I wanna share with you what I saw today in one of those KL's famous roadside stalls. This road side stall i patroned has this BIG sign that says :
3 Putt Mai (3 conditions of sales)
1. Erm Dung Duck, Putt Mai (if u cant wait, we refuse to sell)
2. Yim Jim, Putt Mai (If you are picky, we refuse to sell too)
3. Yong Sui, Putt Mai (If we dont like your face, we wont sell either!)
So, you see if you seriously do not like what i blogs here, please dont spoil your day ok ? Do us both a favor, thats the door, just walk that way! *Cheers!*
18 April 2005
Autopsy Repot
This moaning morning :
Jack : A young boy die ledi
Me : What happened ??
Jack : He got married to a 60 yrs old woman yesday and he died this morning
Me : WHOA!!! they old woman so big appeptite meh ? fark the boy till he kiokED ?
Jack : No, its not that
Me : Then ?
Jack : According to his autopsy repot, he died becoz he drank expired milk !!!
Me : *3 legs in the air*
LMAO!!
Jack : A young boy die ledi
Me : What happened ??
Jack : He got married to a 60 yrs old woman yesday and he died this morning
Me : WHOA!!! they old woman so big appeptite meh ? fark the boy till he kiokED ?
Jack : No, its not that
Me : Then ?
Jack : According to his autopsy repot, he died becoz he drank expired milk !!!
Me : *3 legs in the air*
LMAO!!
17 April 2005
Hustler, Hustler Where are Thou ?
Once I was told a story by my grandpa, "It was the time before cinema and movie are being introduce to the world where the only form of entertaiment available in thier kampung came from a man named AhFook. AhFook loves to travel and he has been working as a sailor, sailing across the world most of his youth, folks in the village are amazed by this amazing and wonderful stories. Everyday, people will gather beneath the "9 layers tree" and listens to his life experience.
AhFook is quite a popular figure in the village mainly becoz of his daily entertaining contribution to the folks in the village, his popularity far reaches the next few kampung and many traveled for nearly an hour on foot just to listen to his daily tales.
One day, there is this young man from neighbouring kampung, AhMing. While AhFook was telling a story related to a huge kick ass sea monster, AhMing felt AhFook were bullshitting and he speaks up from behind "Oi! dont bluff little boys larr!!!" AhFook were stunned for a while but he continues his story soon after that.
While AhFook is telling his story from the front, at the back of the scene this old man who were in front of AhMing told him this "We all know part of his stories are non-existance, we never question them bcoz we do not feel there is a need for that. We are all here bcoz we wanna be entertained and hes doing a good job at it, FOR FREE!! since its FREE you cant complain much, if you dont like it, "FUCK OFF" not that you need to fill a form prior to do that."
Back to 2005, best selling fiction books includes Harry Potter, Lord of the Ring and others. Are any of these are for real ? NO? and peoples are buying it ???!!! why ?? i guess the reason are these books are entertaining. I would really loves to see if anyone would try to point out that there is a piece of "FAKE" information in Lord of the Ring LMAO!!!
Alas, Hustler you are doing a GREAT job providing hours of entertaiment for all of us. I will continue to patron your blog for a long time to come. Until you start to CHARGE entrance fee that is. :)
AhFook is quite a popular figure in the village mainly becoz of his daily entertaining contribution to the folks in the village, his popularity far reaches the next few kampung and many traveled for nearly an hour on foot just to listen to his daily tales.
One day, there is this young man from neighbouring kampung, AhMing. While AhFook was telling a story related to a huge kick ass sea monster, AhMing felt AhFook were bullshitting and he speaks up from behind "Oi! dont bluff little boys larr!!!" AhFook were stunned for a while but he continues his story soon after that.
While AhFook is telling his story from the front, at the back of the scene this old man who were in front of AhMing told him this "We all know part of his stories are non-existance, we never question them bcoz we do not feel there is a need for that. We are all here bcoz we wanna be entertained and hes doing a good job at it, FOR FREE!! since its FREE you cant complain much, if you dont like it, "FUCK OFF" not that you need to fill a form prior to do that."
-The End to the Story -
Back to 2005, best selling fiction books includes Harry Potter, Lord of the Ring and others. Are any of these are for real ? NO? and peoples are buying it ???!!! why ?? i guess the reason are these books are entertaining. I would really loves to see if anyone would try to point out that there is a piece of "FAKE" information in Lord of the Ring LMAO!!!
Alas, Hustler you are doing a GREAT job providing hours of entertaiment for all of us. I will continue to patron your blog for a long time to come. Until you start to CHARGE entrance fee that is. :)
Ugly Boxer in Vegas.
The heavyweight was getting creamed in the fight, but every round he managed to stagger back to the corner. At the end of the eighth round, he could barely see from all the blood streaming down his forehead. His manager said to him, “Hold on just a couple of rounds. I think you are gonna win”
“Win?” the boxer grunted. “I cant even see to hit him.”
“I know” the manager replied, “But the sight of you is beginning to make him sick”
16 April 2005
2 (Two) piece of Wine ???
Back in ancient china, an impoverished man could only afford the meanest food for blekfast – fremented rice cakes. Each morning, AhNgaw would feel giddy from the alchohol in the cakes.
Once a frend asked him “Do you drink that early?”
“No” he replied. “I just ate some fermented rice cakes”
When his wie cane to know about this, she suggested “you should say that you had just taken wine for blekfas, which would have sounded more tasteful”
The following day his frend asked him the same Question,
AhNgaw :I’d just taken some wine for blekfas
Frend : Did you drink it hot or cold ?
AhNgaw : it was toasted
*When his wife heard about it,*
Wife : Wine can never be toasted. You must say next time that you had hot wine.
AhNgaw : I know better now
In the next encounter with his friends, he blurted out the information even before the friend spoke.
AhNgaw : I drank hot wine for blekfas.
Frend : How much did you take ?
AhNgaw : Two pieces *showing 2 fingers*
15 April 2005
NOT a Pig!!!
Peter, the owner of the local kedai runcit, was the most lansi and meanest and insulting man in town.
One day Tang walked into his kedai with a duck under his arm. Peter said to him "Eh! What are you doing with that pig ?"
"Are you crazy?" Tang replied "Its itik larrr not pig lar diuuu"
"I wasnt toking to you" Said Peter. "I was toking to the duck."
One day Tang walked into his kedai with a duck under his arm. Peter said to him "Eh! What are you doing with that pig ?"
"Are you crazy?" Tang replied "Its itik larrr not pig lar diuuu"
"I wasnt toking to you" Said Peter. "I was toking to the duck."
14 April 2005
Dont Compare can ar ?
So many jokes entry continously for so many days i do think its time we take a break off our hectic daily life and pounder on our society's disease for a while. I'd met countless people who are unhappy with their life and not satisfied with what they are having or what they achieved so far in their life. Today i wanna share my view on how to make you a happier person BY LEARNING NOT TO COMPARE!
We live in a pathologically dissatisfied world. And I'm going to tell you why. Because we love to compare.
Go around the world and discover that people aren't happy with their bodies. Filipinos want to be fair-complexioned like Westerners and so buy bleaching stuff.
Westerners want to own bronzed bodies like ours and so purchase tanning lotions. Those with moles have them removed, while those who don't strategically implant beauty spots.
Some people want to shed a few pounds to look like Ally McBeal, while others want to gain some baby fat to look like Drew Barrymore.
When are we ever going to stop and simply be happy with how we look? We live in a sick world, I tell you. And that sickness is comparisonitis.
Take a look at wealth.When we drive our old Honda, it really suits us fine. We feel blessed in fact when the rain pours outside and we feel snug and cozy on its faded upholstered seats.
But the moment we see our own office mate (or neighbor, or buddy, or cousin, or brother) drive his sleek sky-blue, four-door, four-wheel-drive Mercedez, we automatically feel like third-class children of God!
Next time we drive our bumpy, noisy, rusted, dilapidated Honda,(notice how all the defects come out all of a sudden?), we feel deprived, dispossessed, pariah, debased and only a little higher than the insects of the earth.
Listen carefully.
Bill Gates total assets are worth $60 billion. That's more than the GNP of some small countries. Tiger Woods earns $80 million simply by smiling on TV in a Nike shirt. And the stars of the sitcom Friends are paid $750,000 per episode!
My point?
No matter how hard you work, there'll still be some people who will be richer than you are. And there'll be some people who will be more beautiful, have more sex appeal, have more boyfriends and have more problems.
Try it for once. Stop looking around. Don't compare!
Don't compare her nose with your nose. Don't compare his wife with your wife. Don't compare his salary with your salary. Don't compare her breast size with your breast size. Don't compare her kids report card with your kids report card. Don't compare his prayer group with your prayer group. Don't compare her cellulite deposits with your cellulite deposits.
For crying out loud, Stop comparing and Start living! And you'll be happier with your life, I guarantee.
This is crucial:
The most difficult thing in the world is to be who you are not.
Pretending and trying to be someone else is the official pastime of the human race. (I don't think dogs and cats and cows and horses have this problem.)
And the easiest thing in the world is to be yourself. Be happy. Live!
There must be a reason why God made you tall or short or fat or thin or bumpy all over.
Love who you are!
Be happy, it's not that difficult!
We live in a pathologically dissatisfied world. And I'm going to tell you why. Because we love to compare.
Go around the world and discover that people aren't happy with their bodies. Filipinos want to be fair-complexioned like Westerners and so buy bleaching stuff.
Westerners want to own bronzed bodies like ours and so purchase tanning lotions. Those with moles have them removed, while those who don't strategically implant beauty spots.
Some people want to shed a few pounds to look like Ally McBeal, while others want to gain some baby fat to look like Drew Barrymore.
When are we ever going to stop and simply be happy with how we look? We live in a sick world, I tell you. And that sickness is comparisonitis.
Take a look at wealth.When we drive our old Honda, it really suits us fine. We feel blessed in fact when the rain pours outside and we feel snug and cozy on its faded upholstered seats.
But the moment we see our own office mate (or neighbor, or buddy, or cousin, or brother) drive his sleek sky-blue, four-door, four-wheel-drive Mercedez, we automatically feel like third-class children of God!
Next time we drive our bumpy, noisy, rusted, dilapidated Honda,(notice how all the defects come out all of a sudden?), we feel deprived, dispossessed, pariah, debased and only a little higher than the insects of the earth.
Listen carefully.
Bill Gates total assets are worth $60 billion. That's more than the GNP of some small countries. Tiger Woods earns $80 million simply by smiling on TV in a Nike shirt. And the stars of the sitcom Friends are paid $750,000 per episode!
My point?
No matter how hard you work, there'll still be some people who will be richer than you are. And there'll be some people who will be more beautiful, have more sex appeal, have more boyfriends and have more problems.
Try it for once. Stop looking around. Don't compare!
Don't compare her nose with your nose. Don't compare his wife with your wife. Don't compare his salary with your salary. Don't compare her breast size with your breast size. Don't compare her kids report card with your kids report card. Don't compare his prayer group with your prayer group. Don't compare her cellulite deposits with your cellulite deposits.
For crying out loud, Stop comparing and Start living! And you'll be happier with your life, I guarantee.
This is crucial:
The most difficult thing in the world is to be who you are not.
Pretending and trying to be someone else is the official pastime of the human race. (I don't think dogs and cats and cows and horses have this problem.)
And the easiest thing in the world is to be yourself. Be happy. Live!
There must be a reason why God made you tall or short or fat or thin or bumpy all over.
Love who you are!
Be happy, it's not that difficult!
Fishing Maniac
One sunny day, i went to the KLCC park with my family to enjoy the scenery after hearing so much about it thru the local media. After almost an hour of walk underneath the hot sun we found ourself one empty bench!
Apa lagi we terus go there and set camp lar, sommo dat time the lil Devil is yelling at the top of his voice asking for nen-nen ledi, so we unpack all our stuffs and made nen-nen for the Devil. To our suprise after finishing the nen-nen the Devil terus blackout, so both me and Mrs. Wingz also take this oppurtunity to take a break enjoying the scenery and the peoples while waiting for the Devil to wakeup from his cat nap.
At this time, I noticed something very strange. You see the bench next to us were occupied by 3 MahLartLows, the man in the middle was reading newspaper and the other two men on either side of him were going thru the motions as if they were actually fishing. They carefully baited their hooks, cast out the line and reeled them in when they had an imaginary bite. This went on for quite some time till one of our Tourist Polis walk up to them. As i were only next to their bench i could actually hear what they said to each other.
This is what they said :
Polis : *asking the man in the middle* "Do you know this 2 guys sitting besides you ?
Middle Guy : *folded his newspaper* "Yes officer i know them both"
Polis : What are they doing ?
Middle Guy : I think they are fishing
Polis : *noticed something fishy* "this is a public park, you cant fish here, you better get both of them out of here!" *said the polis in a very serious tone*
Middle Guy : YES SIR!
After saying that the guy in the Middle pretend to pick up something from the floor and began to row furiosly as if they are on a sampan!
LMAO!!!! FISHING MANIAC !!!!!
Apa lagi we terus go there and set camp lar, sommo dat time the lil Devil is yelling at the top of his voice asking for nen-nen ledi, so we unpack all our stuffs and made nen-nen for the Devil. To our suprise after finishing the nen-nen the Devil terus blackout, so both me and Mrs. Wingz also take this oppurtunity to take a break enjoying the scenery and the peoples while waiting for the Devil to wakeup from his cat nap.
At this time, I noticed something very strange. You see the bench next to us were occupied by 3 MahLartLows, the man in the middle was reading newspaper and the other two men on either side of him were going thru the motions as if they were actually fishing. They carefully baited their hooks, cast out the line and reeled them in when they had an imaginary bite. This went on for quite some time till one of our Tourist Polis walk up to them. As i were only next to their bench i could actually hear what they said to each other.
This is what they said :
Polis : *asking the man in the middle* "Do you know this 2 guys sitting besides you ?
Middle Guy : *folded his newspaper* "Yes officer i know them both"
Polis : What are they doing ?
Middle Guy : I think they are fishing
Polis : *noticed something fishy* "this is a public park, you cant fish here, you better get both of them out of here!" *said the polis in a very serious tone*
Middle Guy : YES SIR!
After saying that the guy in the Middle pretend to pick up something from the floor and began to row furiosly as if they are on a sampan!
LMAO!!!! FISHING MANIAC !!!!!
13 April 2005
Top Secret Repot From Amalika
A brief background intro for those "HU" dunch no "HU" is Bush and Condoleeza Rice. As per our spy LingLingFart(008) repot Bush is the Plesidern of Amalika and Condoleeza Rice (Condi) is da Secretary of State.
This is their pictures captured by our spy cam during one of their speech.
Condi(Front) Bush(Background)
One day our LingLingFart rekordED one of their conversation toking about our maderland Chungcock (China), after further anal-y-sis we found out that this Bush asked Condi to prepare one top Secret repot on Chungcock's Leader, Comrade HU. Below is the converstaion in detail :
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
That Concludes our spy repot today by LingLingfart. Anoder agent, Agent HamKahLing (HKL) have a anoder repot for us, he finally met a FBI agent in front of the White Houz, at the same time also there is a demonstation going on in front of the White Houz. Below is the full repot of their conversation :
HKL : Amalikans have alot of freedom huh? look at the peeple here, they are scolding your Plesidern.
FBI : *PROUD* Yeah, we Amalikan belif in human rights. We can walk right up to our Plesidern and say "Mr. Bush you sucks!" and get away with it. *Boasting*
HKL : *Tulan dee* I can do that too!!!
FBI : NO WAY! you will get yourself killed!
HKL : NO! I can assure you I will be able to get away with it!
FBI : I dont belif you.
HKL : I CAN! I can walk to our leader, Comrade HU and tell him "Mr. Bush Sucks" and he wont harm me too!
With that we concludes our meeting for today. Pls do not leave your belongings behind and dont spits on the floor on your way out. *Thank you*
This is their pictures captured by our spy cam during one of their speech.
Condi(Front) Bush(Background)
One day our LingLingFart rekordED one of their conversation toking about our maderland Chungcock (China), after further anal-y-sis we found out that this Bush asked Condi to prepare one top Secret repot on Chungcock's Leader, Comrade HU. Below is the converstaion in detail :
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
That Concludes our spy repot today by LingLingfart. Anoder agent, Agent HamKahLing (HKL) have a anoder repot for us, he finally met a FBI agent in front of the White Houz, at the same time also there is a demonstation going on in front of the White Houz. Below is the full repot of their conversation :
HKL : Amalikans have alot of freedom huh? look at the peeple here, they are scolding your Plesidern.
FBI : *PROUD* Yeah, we Amalikan belif in human rights. We can walk right up to our Plesidern and say "Mr. Bush you sucks!" and get away with it. *Boasting*
HKL : *Tulan dee* I can do that too!!!
FBI : NO WAY! you will get yourself killed!
HKL : NO! I can assure you I will be able to get away with it!
FBI : I dont belif you.
HKL : I CAN! I can walk to our leader, Comrade HU and tell him "Mr. Bush Sucks" and he wont harm me too!
With that we concludes our meeting for today. Pls do not leave your belongings behind and dont spits on the floor on your way out. *Thank you*
12 April 2005
Spiderman - 30 yrs later ( special dedication to kljs)
Dear All/Spidey Fansee,
I come across an email from an old frend with pictures of Spidey 30 year from today, immediately i remembered a frend of mine is an absolute Spidey Mania. So here i am posting Pics of the Spidey 30 yrs into the future!
I wanna dedicate this Entry to a frend of mine bcoz of his unconditional love for Spidey, he is non other than kljs Boss !!!
His undenialble/undying Love Declaration forSpenderman Spiderman can be witness in his blog entry HERE and HERE
Hope you all will enjoy this adn much as kljs would!
spidey frontal
Web Slinging
Spidey Berak-ing
Spidey Punch!!
Spidey One-Two-SOM!
Doing the Spidey Dance!
Bekside View - Kencing-ing
Spidey Wall Crawling !!!
I come across an email from an old frend with pictures of Spidey 30 year from today, immediately i remembered a frend of mine is an absolute Spidey Mania. So here i am posting Pics of the Spidey 30 yrs into the future!
I wanna dedicate this Entry to a frend of mine bcoz of his unconditional love for Spidey, he is non other than kljs Boss !!!
His undenialble/undying Love Declaration for
Hope you all will enjoy this adn much as kljs would!
spidey frontal
Web Slinging
Spidey Berak-ing
Spidey Punch!!
Spidey One-Two-SOM!
Doing the Spidey Dance!
Bekside View - Kencing-ing
Spidey Wall Crawling !!!
Disclaimer : All trademark involve in this entry belongs to their respective owners. kljs are not hurt in the making of this story! LOL!
Source : From My Frend.
Who ? He dun let me tell!
Source : From My Frend.
Who ? He dun let me tell!
Hello! Ah Mah !
AhLian was tricked into prostitution by her “agent” who brought her in from China,One day with the help of the cleaning lady she managed to escape from the hell she was locked in all these days. She is still a virgin then bcoz she refused to bow to those “agents” demands and that is why she has been in lockup since she set foot in this country.
Without money and valid travel documents she walk for hours before reaching a WARTEL. So, AhLian went into the WARTEL message centre wanting to send an message to her mother in China and ask for help.
Indon guy, Mansur at the WARTEL counter told her it would cost around RM150.00
AhLian : saiya tarak RM150 lah, but I will do anything to get a message to my mother in China!
Mansur smiled, arched an eyebrow and asked, "Anything ?”
AhLian :Yes, I promise...anything !
Mansur : Follow me.
*He led her to the next room and said*
Mansur :Come in and close the door.
Mansur : Get down on your knees !
*AhLian obeyed Mansur’s demand willingly”
Mansur : Unzip me !
*She did.*
Mansur : Go on...take it out.
*She did and grabbed it with both hands excitedly.*
Mansur : Go ahead girl, what are you waiting for ?
*AhLian do as shes told, she slowly brought her lips closer and said loudly*
AhLian : Hello....hello Ah Mah !!!..can you hear me ?!
*P.S. this time no banglas was hurt in the making of this story. :P
Without money and valid travel documents she walk for hours before reaching a WARTEL. So, AhLian went into the WARTEL message centre wanting to send an message to her mother in China and ask for help.
Indon guy, Mansur at the WARTEL counter told her it would cost around RM150.00
AhLian : saiya tarak RM150 lah, but I will do anything to get a message to my mother in China!
Mansur smiled, arched an eyebrow and asked, "Anything ?”
AhLian :Yes, I promise...anything !
Mansur : Follow me.
*He led her to the next room and said*
Mansur :Come in and close the door.
Mansur : Get down on your knees !
*AhLian obeyed Mansur’s demand willingly”
Mansur : Unzip me !
*She did.*
Mansur : Go on...take it out.
*She did and grabbed it with both hands excitedly.*
Mansur : Go ahead girl, what are you waiting for ?
*AhLian do as shes told, she slowly brought her lips closer and said loudly*
AhLian : Hello....hello Ah Mah !!!..can you hear me ?!
*P.S. this time no banglas was hurt in the making of this story. :P
11 April 2005
Chun-toys-less Pissed - Jokes Contribution
Apparently "someone" ( Anonymous) got pissed because of my previous entry, "someone" said that i copied others peeple jokes without quoting sources, buden he no chuntoys to even post a komen with his nick/iden orso. Nebermind lar i told maiself, since he no chuntoys he alredi kesian enuff so no kira sama him la i thot, skali mana tau he also quoted the source of the Jokes which is :
http://www.infolanka.com/jokes/messages/2862.html
So i now hereby tenkiu the author of the joke ANTON PERERA for his kinda contribution to the making of a better mankind.
I also like to thank the Chun-toys-less reader for his contribution of new jokes website that i do not know of its existance untill today.
For more jokes, pls. klik on the link below. (contributed by the chun-toy-less reader)
http://www.infolanka.com/jokes/
Due to popular demand,"chun-toys-less comments poster" features will be diabled to prevent more of our future generation from following the chontoysless-ism belief. All future koment(er) are advised to register yourself a blogspot member to be able to post komen. Buden hor ... befoh lu post any komen or read anything can you please read my blog's header 1st? :)
*P.S. I pray to god that my chun-toys-less reader fast fast grow back chun toys so he can post his nx komen with balls!!!
http://www.infolanka.com/jokes/messages/2862.html
So i now hereby tenkiu the author of the joke ANTON PERERA for his kinda contribution to the making of a better mankind.
I also like to thank the Chun-toys-less reader for his contribution of new jokes website that i do not know of its existance untill today.
For more jokes, pls. klik on the link below. (contributed by the chun-toy-less reader)
http://www.infolanka.com/jokes/
Due to popular demand,"chun-toys-less comments poster" features will be diabled to prevent more of our future generation from following the chontoysless-ism belief. All future koment(er) are advised to register yourself a blogspot member to be able to post komen. Buden hor ... befoh lu post any komen or read anything can you please read my blog's header 1st? :)
*P.S. I pray to god that my chun-toys-less reader fast fast grow back chun toys so he can post his nx komen with balls!!!
A Letter From Bangladesh
Before I go on to the main story, Lemme fill you in with a lil backgroud of the person i m gonna tok about. He is my ex bangla worker, his name is Mathiur but we all call him by his nick name which is "Mati".
Mati, isnt very bright even tho he told me he graduated from university when he first approach me for a job, he cant read and write that well you see, nevertheless he is a hardworking employee and that i hafta agree on.
One day Mati come to me with a letter that he wants me to read to him, he told me he cant read and he need me to explain to him the content of the letter. So, i took the letter from him and begun reading it. It appear that the letter is from his mom from his home in Dhakka.
This is the content of the letter *yes i keep a photocopy copy with me :)*
Mati, isnt very bright even tho he told me he graduated from university when he first approach me for a job, he cant read and write that well you see, nevertheless he is a hardworking employee and that i hafta agree on.
One day Mati come to me with a letter that he wants me to read to him, he told me he cant read and he need me to explain to him the content of the letter. So, i took the letter from him and begun reading it. It appear that the letter is from his mom from his home in Dhakka.
This is the content of the letter *yes i keep a photocopy copy with me :)*
My Dear Mathiur,
I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I won't be able to send the address as the last person who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.
By the way I took Bahur (daughter-in-law) to our club's poolside. The manager is bad. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Khaled fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Your best friend, Begum, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love Mom.
P.S : Mathiur, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.
10 April 2005
Who Can Fart ?
Last December, me and John were in Singapore to visit our business ass-"O"-ciate Mr.Phang. Im not really familiar with Singkapoh's road and needless to say bout John coz the fler is an Amalikan. We are suppose to be heading to Kitchener Road from Jalan Besar, we found Jalan Besar as per the instruction given on the phone and Kitchener Road are just the one on the left of us, so we told Mr.Phang we will be able to find our way there and we hang up. I was driving at a very slow pace to make sure i do not missed the turning into Kitchener Road, bcoz of my slow pace John really is looking around for signs that will lead us to Kitchener Road then he suddenly burst into laughters and luffED like a mad donkey on heat !!! I almost lost control of the car thanks to that crazy Amalikan. I stop the car and let him luff his ass off, then when hes done i asked him
Me : What da fark are you luffing about ?
John : You guys have funny names for restaurant
Me : What da fark ya toking bout ?
John : turn back, do a U turn, its back there!
Me : Back where ?
John : about 150 feet behind us! Go go !! its fucking hillarious!!
Me : OK
So i look for place where i can do a 3-point-turn and headed back to the spot John is talking about. When we arrive :
John : There! LOOK AT THAT NAME !!!! TWO OF THEM !!! SIDE BY SIDE !!! Fark!!! *continue to luff like mad donkey on heat again*
Me : Ok, i dont really see anything funny here, its pretty normal to me. Wee Kan Fatt and Soo Kan Wee . So what is wrong ?
*Please refer to the below picture to get a brief idea of what am trying to tell you. Its more or less similar to what i saw the other day.*
John : Cant you see it ?
Me : Nope!
John : Ok ok lemme tell you, One shop says "WE CAN FART" the other one says "SO CAN WE" and he bursted into laughters again.
Me : HOLY SHIT !!! we both luffing like mad cow kena histeria that time!
It took us almost 15 minits to be able able to cool down and continue our journey again, What a day! and does time flies ... that bastard is coming here again this May!!! hahahaha!!! Cant wait!!
Me : What da fark are you luffing about ?
John : You guys have funny names for restaurant
Me : What da fark ya toking bout ?
John : turn back, do a U turn, its back there!
Me : Back where ?
John : about 150 feet behind us! Go go !! its fucking hillarious!!
Me : OK
So i look for place where i can do a 3-point-turn and headed back to the spot John is talking about. When we arrive :
John : There! LOOK AT THAT NAME !!!! TWO OF THEM !!! SIDE BY SIDE !!! Fark!!! *continue to luff like mad donkey on heat again*
Me : Ok, i dont really see anything funny here, its pretty normal to me. Wee Kan Fatt and Soo Kan Wee . So what is wrong ?
*Please refer to the below picture to get a brief idea of what am trying to tell you. Its more or less similar to what i saw the other day.*
John : Cant you see it ?
Me : Nope!
John : Ok ok lemme tell you, One shop says "WE CAN FART" the other one says "SO CAN WE" and he bursted into laughters again.
Me : HOLY SHIT !!! we both luffing like mad cow kena histeria that time!
It took us almost 15 minits to be able able to cool down and continue our journey again, What a day! and does time flies ... that bastard is coming here again this May!!! hahahaha!!! Cant wait!!
9 April 2005
The Shitty Answer
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Here is the answer as plomised, lemme give u the answer with some visual help below,
FEMALE SHIT
female shit
As you can see from the diagram, the distance between pee and poo is quite near, at time it overlaps each others making it to difficult to distinguished their exact territory between these two. This is because Chee-Buy and Pantat are just next to each other in a female body.
MALE SHIT
Here is the answer as plomised, lemme give u the answer with some visual help below,
FEMALE SHIT
female shit
MALE SHIT
male shit
This is the male shit, the distance between pee and poo are wider. This is becoz the male Luncheow* are in a shape of a water gun thus shooting the pee to a further area farther away from the shit. The territory between pee and poo are clearly marked. This is bcoz the Male's Pantat neighbour are NUTS and not Luncheow*!
8 April 2005
Whose shit is this ?
June last year, me and a group of fishing fanatic friends went to a very secluded place to fish. The stream is deep inside a blardee jungle and as this is the 1st time we trying to go there so we hired a jungle trekker to lead us there. Everyone call him Mail, i think thats short for Ismail.
Mail is about 5'3" lidat, he has this misai and abit of janggut. Very tough kinda guy, very tanned and had a very loud voice. I guess the loud noise is useful when locating someone who went missing from the main group i guess. He rely mostly on his instinct most of the time without much gadgets. The only tool he brought with him are a compas, a parang and a torchlight. No canggih gadgets like Satnav gps system or satelite phone that sort. One can tell from the way he handle us that he must be a very experienced jungle trekking guide, he evel tell us lotsa his jungle trekking stories while we trekking our way into the dense forest.
After about 3 hours of trekking he told us we are half way there, he also reminded us to behave properly and to respect the surrondings. "There are peeple living here, even tho you cant see them " he says. I was like "WTF??!! i dint see a living soul in this jungle other than us all" buden after anoder 5 minits or so we asked us to stop as if he found something interesting. We all gather around him and to our suprise he found a pile of shit! At that time we were like "What the big deal bout finding a pile of shit, what is so fascinating about this pile of shit ?" To our amazement he told us the pile of shit belongs to a human being and it belongs to a female!
Whoa!! we were like "how the fuck can you tell?" he wouldnt tell us at first and he said " i'll tell you all later in the journey". About half an hour later he found anoder pile of shit again and this time "it" look kinda "fresh from the oven" type, he told us the shit belongs to a male! we were like "FUCK! hes lying !!!" To satisfy our curiosity he told us how he derived to such answer ........
Wanna know how ?? Why dont you try to guess it first ?
i'll tell you the answer tomolo ok? :)
Mail is about 5'3" lidat, he has this misai and abit of janggut. Very tough kinda guy, very tanned and had a very loud voice. I guess the loud noise is useful when locating someone who went missing from the main group i guess. He rely mostly on his instinct most of the time without much gadgets. The only tool he brought with him are a compas, a parang and a torchlight. No canggih gadgets like Satnav gps system or satelite phone that sort. One can tell from the way he handle us that he must be a very experienced jungle trekking guide, he evel tell us lotsa his jungle trekking stories while we trekking our way into the dense forest.
After about 3 hours of trekking he told us we are half way there, he also reminded us to behave properly and to respect the surrondings. "There are peeple living here, even tho you cant see them " he says. I was like "WTF??!! i dint see a living soul in this jungle other than us all" buden after anoder 5 minits or so we asked us to stop as if he found something interesting. We all gather around him and to our suprise he found a pile of shit! At that time we were like "What the big deal bout finding a pile of shit, what is so fascinating about this pile of shit ?" To our amazement he told us the pile of shit belongs to a human being and it belongs to a female!
Whoa!! we were like "how the fuck can you tell?" he wouldnt tell us at first and he said " i'll tell you all later in the journey". About half an hour later he found anoder pile of shit again and this time "it" look kinda "fresh from the oven" type, he told us the shit belongs to a male! we were like "FUCK! hes lying !!!" To satisfy our curiosity he told us how he derived to such answer ........
Wanna know how ?? Why dont you try to guess it first ?
i'll tell you the answer tomolo ok? :)
How I Wish ....
This setori is about two person ( Kenny and Patrick ) both of them has very low IQ level wan.
One day they stumbled upon a pack of stray dogs, they saw one of the dog licking his own balls, to his amazement Kenny blurted out ( refer below for the full conversation )
Kenny : WOW! look at that jantan dog over there!
Patrick : Where ? Which one ?
Kenny : There! *Points with finger towards one of the dog which is licking his own balls*
Patrick : OOoohhhhHHH!!!! What about it ?
Kenny : It is licking its own balls! How I wish i can do that too!!!! *Envy*
Patrick : *imagining and drooling*
Patrick : Yeahhhhhhh~~~ me too!!!
*Both of them silent for a while letting their imaginations runs wild* ...............
Suddenly Patrick blurted out. (scroll down pulez ...)
Patrick : I really wanna do that but I scared that dog will bites me if I do that!
*No dogs were hurt in the making of this story*
One day they stumbled upon a pack of stray dogs, they saw one of the dog licking his own balls, to his amazement Kenny blurted out ( refer below for the full conversation )
Stray Dogs
Kenny : WOW! look at that jantan dog over there!
Patrick : Where ? Which one ?
Kenny : There! *Points with finger towards one of the dog which is licking his own balls*
Patrick : OOoohhhhHHH!!!! What about it ?
Kenny : It is licking its own balls! How I wish i can do that too!!!! *Envy*
Patrick : *imagining and drooling*
Patrick : Yeahhhhhhh~~~ me too!!!
*Both of them silent for a while letting their imaginations runs wild* ...............
Suddenly Patrick blurted out. (scroll down pulez ...)
Patrick : I really wanna do that but I scared that dog will bites me if I do that!
*No dogs were hurt in the making of this story*
7 April 2005
The Cast of #MalaysiaBloggers
Its abit more than a week since this room were created, we are having around 12-20 bloggers in the channel most of the time. Topic ranging from blogging to extraterrestrial to movies to personal lifestyle to love stories to betrayals you name it! During the night the screen will move faster than you can read it properly.
The Cast
kljs - The Channel owner
JxT2J - The SOP
PeterTan - The Legendary Blogger from Penang (OP)
LilianC - The Celebrity Blogger from Penang
Kimberlycun - The Legs
KennySia - The April Fool Champion
Jayelle - The Little Girl In A Reverie a.k.a. LeftBoob
Dopey^ - As Suanie Sees It
PeNNyPupZ - The SYT
YP^ - The Future Doc
paxt - The Diary of a Klutz
loRd_VaMp - The New Ex Blogger
Dustyhawk - The Anime Sexpert
cymiao - The Resident Wine Expert
Kamigoroshi - Footstep in the Mirror (OP)
cheRRy^ZZZz - Malaysia J-Lo
Kstang - A pathetic attempt at blogging
chapree - Chapree Da Grande
Stanch - The Underpaid Exec.
Sashi - The Sashi-ism
smallmoskito - The Mossism
Andylkl - The WittySquirrel's Insane Ramblings
Mr.Tomodachi - Non Blogger but a very handsome guy!!!
and Me of coz :)
So fellow bloggers! come join us there and have lotsa fun exchanging toughts and meeting up with others Malaysian Bloggers. Real Time Interaction !!!
for more instructions on how to get there, please feel free to get in touch with any of the above bloggers and i am sure they will be more than willing to help out. More infos can be accessed by clicking HERE
The Cast
kljs - The Channel owner
JxT2J - The SOP
PeterTan - The Legendary Blogger from Penang (OP)
LilianC - The Celebrity Blogger from Penang
Kimberlycun - The Legs
KennySia - The April Fool Champion
Jayelle - The Little Girl In A Reverie a.k.a. LeftBoob
Dopey^ - As Suanie Sees It
PeNNyPupZ - The SYT
YP^ - The Future Doc
paxt - The Diary of a Klutz
loRd_VaMp - The New Ex Blogger
Dustyhawk - The Anime Sexpert
cymiao - The Resident Wine Expert
Kamigoroshi - Footstep in the Mirror (OP)
cheRRy^ZZZz - Malaysia J-Lo
Kstang - A pathetic attempt at blogging
chapree - Chapree Da Grande
Stanch - The Underpaid Exec.
Sashi - The Sashi-ism
smallmoskito - The Mossism
Andylkl - The WittySquirrel's Insane Ramblings
Mr.Tomodachi - Non Blogger but a very handsome guy!!!
and Me of coz :)
So fellow bloggers! come join us there and have lotsa fun exchanging toughts and meeting up with others Malaysian Bloggers. Real Time Interaction !!!
for more instructions on how to get there, please feel free to get in touch with any of the above bloggers and i am sure they will be more than willing to help out. More infos can be accessed by clicking HERE
See you there at #MalaysiaBloggers the meeting point of Malaysian Bloggers!
5 April 2005
Ice Wine Anyone ?
We were talking in the #malaysiabloggers chat room today and suddenly Kenneth mentioned about Ice Wine, so outta the sudden lotsa wine enthusiasts pop out from nowhere everyone with their own opinions on Ice Wine.
Then I asked Kenneth whether they is any Wine bloggers around, he told me none that he known off, cy_miao our resident wine consultant even suggested that why don’t I blog about it myself. At first I hesitated but after giving it a thot, I decided to go ahead with it, so here goes!
Lemme start off with the HISTORY of Ice Wine, there are actually a few version but I’d narrowed it down to 3 and they are :
The History :
1) According to Canadian lore, the first ice wines were made when some winemaker forgot to harvest a few rows of mature grapes on his vineyard's back in the 40s. When he discovered his error, he harvested what was left, pressed the grapes to remove the ice crystals from whatever liquid could be coaxed from the nearly dried, frozen fruit and, voilà, a wine was born.
2) Ice wine originated in Europe two centuries ago when the German farmers of Franconia were hit by a sudden and unexpected winter frost. Rather than discard their frozen grapes, they went ahead and made wine. The result was a small quantity of honey-sweet liquid of high acidity, unlike anything they had ever produced. Eiswein was considered a treasure, yet German conditions have never guaranteed consistency in yield or quality.
3) The discovery of Icewine was accidental. Producers in Franconia, Germany made virtue of necessity by pressing juice from frozen grapes in 1794. They were amazed by the high sugar concentration. It was not until the mid 1800's that Ice wine was intentionally made by the winery. This occured in the Rheingau
So, which one is the real one ? beats me! All of them sounds logical to idiotic me! :P
Most of the world’s famous Ice Wine came from Canada. Outside the wine circles, Canadian ice wine is relatively unknown partly because it can only be produced in a few countries under unique conditions, making it rare and very expensive.
The Process :
Grapes are left on the vine well into the winter months. The resulting freezing and thawing of the grapes dehydrates the fruit, and concentrates the sugars, acids, and extracts in the berries, thereby intensifying the flavours and adding complexity to the wine made from it.
The Ice wine harvest, done entirely by hand, commences once the temperature drops below - 10 to -13 degrees C and the grapes have naturally frozen on the vines. As the frozen grapes are pressed, the natural water portion of the juice remains within the grape skins in the form of ice crystals, and a tiny but precious ration of highly concentrated juice is expressed. The frozen grapes are pressed in the extreme cold, only a few drops of sweet concentrated juice is obtained. This juice is then fermented very slowly for several months, stopping naturally.
The Grapes :
Harvested by hand at night to ensure sunlight does not melt the ice, the grapes must be frozen as hard as marbles. Once picked, they are immediately pressed under strict rules.
Typical grapes used for ice wine production are: Riesling, Seyval, Vidal Blanc, and, interestingly, the red grape Cabernet Franc. Cabernet Franc ice wine is a light pink color, like most rose wines. Conclusion - Ice Wine do not come in RED.
The Taste :
The finished ice wine is intensely sweet and flavourful in the initial mouth sensation. The balance is achieved by the acidity, which gives a clean, dry finish. The nose of icewine recalls lychee nuts. The wine tastes of tropical fruits, with shadings of peach nectar and mango.
The Glass :
The glass, item number 444/55, the sixth in the Vinum Extreme collection of machine-blown, lead-crystal glasses, is 87/8 inches (226mm) high and holds 10 ounces (285ccm).
While a glass can't alter a wine or any other beverage, it does dramatically alter our perception of it. Determining that content should command shape, each Riedel glass is designed after thorough oenological analysis of how different taste characteristics are optimized on the nose and palate by variations in glass design, so that, ultimately, each glass makes a beverage taste its best by enhancing its typicity, authenticity and finest characteristics.
The Companion
Goes with: Cheeses and fruits. It's also a perfect accompaniment to lighter cakes and pastries. Serve it well-chilled.
The Price :
In Europe
An average bottle of Canadian ice wine costs euro 70 but can range from euro 45 to euro 175. A glass in a restaurant can run to around euro 15.
In Malaysia
An Average Bottle of 375ml would cost you somewhere between RM200-RM500 bucks depending on the made and year of the wine.
The Verdict
Wine is the trend now, every ahbeng and ahseng on the block also tried it, they have their own method of drinking it, some add mineral water to it, some add ribena, beers, sodas, you name it. Which is kinda degrading to the serious wine society if you asking me, But nevertheless they bought it and they deserved every rights on how they wanna drink it. :P
Then I asked Kenneth whether they is any Wine bloggers around, he told me none that he known off, cy_miao our resident wine consultant even suggested that why don’t I blog about it myself. At first I hesitated but after giving it a thot, I decided to go ahead with it, so here goes!
Ice Wine 375ml
Lemme start off with the HISTORY of Ice Wine, there are actually a few version but I’d narrowed it down to 3 and they are :
The History :
1) According to Canadian lore, the first ice wines were made when some winemaker forgot to harvest a few rows of mature grapes on his vineyard's back in the 40s. When he discovered his error, he harvested what was left, pressed the grapes to remove the ice crystals from whatever liquid could be coaxed from the nearly dried, frozen fruit and, voilà, a wine was born.
2) Ice wine originated in Europe two centuries ago when the German farmers of Franconia were hit by a sudden and unexpected winter frost. Rather than discard their frozen grapes, they went ahead and made wine. The result was a small quantity of honey-sweet liquid of high acidity, unlike anything they had ever produced. Eiswein was considered a treasure, yet German conditions have never guaranteed consistency in yield or quality.
3) The discovery of Icewine was accidental. Producers in Franconia, Germany made virtue of necessity by pressing juice from frozen grapes in 1794. They were amazed by the high sugar concentration. It was not until the mid 1800's that Ice wine was intentionally made by the winery. This occured in the Rheingau
So, which one is the real one ? beats me! All of them sounds logical to idiotic me! :P
Most of the world’s famous Ice Wine came from Canada. Outside the wine circles, Canadian ice wine is relatively unknown partly because it can only be produced in a few countries under unique conditions, making it rare and very expensive.
The Process :
Grapes are left on the vine well into the winter months. The resulting freezing and thawing of the grapes dehydrates the fruit, and concentrates the sugars, acids, and extracts in the berries, thereby intensifying the flavours and adding complexity to the wine made from it.
The Ice wine harvest, done entirely by hand, commences once the temperature drops below - 10 to -13 degrees C and the grapes have naturally frozen on the vines. As the frozen grapes are pressed, the natural water portion of the juice remains within the grape skins in the form of ice crystals, and a tiny but precious ration of highly concentrated juice is expressed. The frozen grapes are pressed in the extreme cold, only a few drops of sweet concentrated juice is obtained. This juice is then fermented very slowly for several months, stopping naturally.
The Grapes :
Harvested by hand at night to ensure sunlight does not melt the ice, the grapes must be frozen as hard as marbles. Once picked, they are immediately pressed under strict rules.
Typical grapes used for ice wine production are: Riesling, Seyval, Vidal Blanc, and, interestingly, the red grape Cabernet Franc. Cabernet Franc ice wine is a light pink color, like most rose wines. Conclusion - Ice Wine do not come in RED.
The Taste :
The finished ice wine is intensely sweet and flavourful in the initial mouth sensation. The balance is achieved by the acidity, which gives a clean, dry finish. The nose of icewine recalls lychee nuts. The wine tastes of tropical fruits, with shadings of peach nectar and mango.
The Glass :
The glass, item number 444/55, the sixth in the Vinum Extreme collection of machine-blown, lead-crystal glasses, is 87/8 inches (226mm) high and holds 10 ounces (285ccm).
While a glass can't alter a wine or any other beverage, it does dramatically alter our perception of it. Determining that content should command shape, each Riedel glass is designed after thorough oenological analysis of how different taste characteristics are optimized on the nose and palate by variations in glass design, so that, ultimately, each glass makes a beverage taste its best by enhancing its typicity, authenticity and finest characteristics.
Ice wine glass #444/55
The Companion
Goes with: Cheeses and fruits. It's also a perfect accompaniment to lighter cakes and pastries. Serve it well-chilled.
The Price :
In Europe
An average bottle of Canadian ice wine costs euro 70 but can range from euro 45 to euro 175. A glass in a restaurant can run to around euro 15.
In Malaysia
An Average Bottle of 375ml would cost you somewhere between RM200-RM500 bucks depending on the made and year of the wine.
The Verdict
Wine is the trend now, every ahbeng and ahseng on the block also tried it, they have their own method of drinking it, some add mineral water to it, some add ribena, beers, sodas, you name it. Which is kinda degrading to the serious wine society if you asking me, But nevertheless they bought it and they deserved every rights on how they wanna drink it. :P
4 April 2005
Answer in Brief
This story was told to me by my bangla engineer, Amed. He has a frend name Surus, they went to the same Uni togehder. One semester Surus got seriously sick and therefore cant make it to the exams.
The Uni board approve his application to re-take the exams but this has to be done in a spesel room with only Surus and another Tcher to ensure fairness of the exams.
So come the day of the exams and Surus were waiting for it eagerly. he repotED to the Tcher in charge and he later were instructed to sit at his place getting himself ready for the exams. Five minits later the Tcher handed to him a stack of question papers. Its English! *YES! this should be easy!* says him to himself. Before he jumps right into the questions he took some time to read the instructions carefully.
Sardenli, he stood up and begin to undress himself, he keep undressing untill he is down to his underwear, he then sit back onto his chair. Amazed with his action the Tcher walks over to question this behavior of his.
Tcher : Whay are you naked ?
Surus : I am following the requirements of the exams.
Tcher : What requirements ?
Surus : *Points to one of the line in the instructions section* "This!"
Tcher : *take a closer look*
"Answer the questions in brief "
ROTFLMAO!!!
Brief
adj. brief·er, brief·est
1. A short, succinct statement.
2. A condensation or an abstract of a larger document or series of documents.
3. Roman Catholic Church. A papal letter that is not as formal as a bull.
4. briefs Short, tight-fitting underpants.
The Uni board approve his application to re-take the exams but this has to be done in a spesel room with only Surus and another Tcher to ensure fairness of the exams.
So come the day of the exams and Surus were waiting for it eagerly. he repotED to the Tcher in charge and he later were instructed to sit at his place getting himself ready for the exams. Five minits later the Tcher handed to him a stack of question papers. Its English! *YES! this should be easy!* says him to himself. Before he jumps right into the questions he took some time to read the instructions carefully.
Sardenli, he stood up and begin to undress himself, he keep undressing untill he is down to his underwear, he then sit back onto his chair. Amazed with his action the Tcher walks over to question this behavior of his.
Tcher : Whay are you naked ?
Surus : I am following the requirements of the exams.
Tcher : What requirements ?
Surus : *Points to one of the line in the instructions section* "This!"
Tcher : *take a closer look*
"Answer the questions in brief "
ROTFLMAO!!!
Brief
adj. brief·er, brief·est
1. A short, succinct statement.
2. A condensation or an abstract of a larger document or series of documents.
3. Roman Catholic Church. A papal letter that is not as formal as a bull.
4. briefs Short, tight-fitting underpants.
Just Another Sunday ? NOT!
login into #malaysiabloggers channel at around 1pm, chatted till around 5pm and Mrs Wingz asked me to go groceries shopping along with lil.Devil as well. To cut it short we got our blardee trolley filled to the maxED with stuffs from carefour (Im glad we dint trashed the shopping cart) by 8pm hunger strikes all of us and lil Devil is getting frustratingly annoying, so we barge outta Carefour and heads towards Nam Heong Chicken Lice! I dunno whether it is bcoz we are extremely hungry or they got themself a better cook, the chicken lice were FANTASTIC today!!! Abit salty tho calimed Mrs.Wingz.
Anyway i still think today's chicken lice were Outta this World! So if you are around the neighbourHOOT go eat there! gerentik you no regret wan! Nam Heong Chicken Lice Endah Parada Seri Petaling.
After that we goan check on some handphone stuffs with our regular supplier and terus go car park liow. The whole trunk were filled up with our groceries can you imagine the amount of stuffs we bought? Anyway Mrs Wingz begins to nags when we reach home, i dont know why bcoz i wasnt listening LOL! so there she was busy walking up and down arranging all the stuffs we bought onto the right place in the fridge and continue to nags. she stopped nagging about half an hour later, finally peace on earth!
An hour later, Mrs.Wing walked into my study and asked me "did you see where i put my t-shirt just now ?" I answered "Nope", she walked out of my room mumbling something to herself. Then she proceed to look for that t-shirt high and low, i can actually hear her ransacking the laundry department and the guest room from here, the whole thing goes on for merely 30 minutes before she gave up and went to bed. That was 3 hours ago.....then a few minutes ago i suddenly have this urge to drink something fizzy, so i walked to the fridge to get myself a can of coke, when i open the fridge I found Mrs.Wingz t-shirt in it!! Totally frozen ledi! LMAO!!!
She asleep now, wait till i tell her about this tomolo morning! This is hilarious!!!
Anyway i still think today's chicken lice were Outta this World! So if you are around the neighbourHOOT go eat there! gerentik you no regret wan! Nam Heong Chicken Lice Endah Parada Seri Petaling.
After that we goan check on some handphone stuffs with our regular supplier and terus go car park liow. The whole trunk were filled up with our groceries can you imagine the amount of stuffs we bought? Anyway Mrs Wingz begins to nags when we reach home, i dont know why bcoz i wasnt listening LOL! so there she was busy walking up and down arranging all the stuffs we bought onto the right place in the fridge and continue to nags. she stopped nagging about half an hour later, finally peace on earth!
An hour later, Mrs.Wing walked into my study and asked me "did you see where i put my t-shirt just now ?" I answered "Nope", she walked out of my room mumbling something to herself. Then she proceed to look for that t-shirt high and low, i can actually hear her ransacking the laundry department and the guest room from here, the whole thing goes on for merely 30 minutes before she gave up and went to bed. That was 3 hours ago.....then a few minutes ago i suddenly have this urge to drink something fizzy, so i walked to the fridge to get myself a can of coke, when i open the fridge I found Mrs.Wingz t-shirt in it!! Totally frozen ledi! LMAO!!!
She asleep now, wait till i tell her about this tomolo morning! This is hilarious!!!
1 April 2005
Useful Contact Information
| EMERGENCY | EMBASSIES IN KL | ||
| Police & Ambulance | 999 | Australia | 03 2146 5555 |
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| Atur | 800 9292 | MSL Travel | 03 4042 4722 |
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| 019 3000900 | PERNAS | 03 2144 6044 | |
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| Maxis | 03 7492 2123 | Start Cruise | 03 3101 1313 |
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| 1+3D | 03 9280 4688 | Salsaki Japanese Buffet | 03 2166 3728 |
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| Embassies | Telephone No |
| Albania Embassy | 603 - 2538102 |
| British Consulate & Trade Office | 082 - 231320 |
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| Romania-Trade Representation | 603 - 2482065 |
| Saudi Arabia Royal Embassy | 603 - 4579433 |
| Singapore High Commission | 603 - 2616277 |
| Spain Embassy | 603 - 2484868 |
| Sri Lanka High Commission | 603 - 2444403 |
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| Brunei Darussalam | 603 - 2612800 |
| Swedish Embassy | 603 - 2485981 |
| Switzerland Embassy | 603 - 2480622 |
| Thailand Royal Embassy | 603 - 2488222 |
| Turkish Embassy | 603 - 4572226 |
| U S S R Embassy | 603 - 4567252 |
| United Nations Dep't Programmed | 603 - 2559122 |
| United Nations - Refugees | 603 - 2411322 |
| United States of America Embassy | 603 - 2489011 |
| Uruguay Embassy | 603 - 2433723 |
| Venezuela Embassy | 603 - 2633444 |
| Vietnam Embassy | 603 - 2484036 |
| Yugoslavia Embassy | 603 - 4564561 |
| Zimbabwe Hugh Commission | 603 - 4517252 |
| Florist | Telephone No |
| De Memory Hamper & Gifts | 03-5882 4290 |
| Blooming Florist Sdn Bhd | 03-7803 3333 |
| Airline Companies | Telephone No |
| Air Asia | 03-8776 4690 |
| Air India | 03-2142 0323 |
| Cathay Pacific | 03-8787 2808/3808 |
| China Airlines | 03-8776 6066/8 |
| Eva Airways | 03-8776 6233 |
| Garuda Indonesia | 03-8787 4064 |
| Japan Airlines | 03-8787 1110 |
| KLM Royal Dutch Airlines | 03-8776 6260/55 |
| Lauda Air | 03-8776 6305/6 |
| Lufthansa German Airlines | 03-2161 4666 |
| Malaysian Airlines | 03-8776 4712 |
| Northwest Airlines | 03-8776 6252 |
| Singapore Airlines | 03-8776 6430/27 |
| Thai International Airways | 03-8787 3522 |
| Virgin Atlantic | 03-8787 1403 |
| Hospital | Telephone No |
| Assunta Hospital | 03-7782 3433 |
| Damansara Specialist Hospital | 03-7722 2692 |
| Gleneagles Intan Medical Centre | 03-4257 1300 |
| Hospital Pantai Indah | 03-4289 2828 |
| Hospital Putrajaya | 03-8888 0080 |
| Institut Jantung Negara | 03-2617 8200 |
| Kuala Lumpur General Hospital | 03-2615 5555 |
| Mont' Kiara Medical City | 03-2382 3500 |
| Pantai Cheras Medical Centre | 03-9132 2022 |
| Pantai Klang Specialist Medical Centre | 03-3372 5222 |
| Pantai Medical Centre | 03-2296 0888 |
| Selayang Hospital | 03-6120 3233 |
| Subang Jaya Medical Centre | 03-7491 9191 |
| Sunway Medical centre | 03-7491 9191 |
| Tawakal Specialist Hospital | 03-4023 3599 |
| Tun Hussein Onn National Eye Hospital | 03-7956 1511 |
| Taxi | Telephone No |
| Airport Limo booking centre | 03-9223 8080 |
| Airport Limo airport counter | 03-8787 3675 |
| Jamaludin (cab plate #: WJH 7791) | H/P:012 3775949 |
| Mr Jeff (cab plate #: HWB 94) | H/P:013 3619587 |
| Mr Leong (cab plate #: HWB 48) | H/P:013 3011567 |
| Raja Zulhairi | H/P:019 3964626 |
| En Aru | H/P:012 2011530 |
| Mass Transport System | Telephone No |
| KLIA EXPRESS careline | 03-2267 8000 |
| ERL Hotline | 03-2267 7777 |
| KL Sentral | 03-2279 8888 |
| PUTRA LRT (7-7pm, M-F, 11-3pm, Sat) | 1800 388 228 |
| PUTRA LRT - after office hours | 017 331 7779 |
| STAR LRT Hotline | 03-4294 2550 |
| KL Monorail Hotline | 03-2272 3801 |
| KTMB Hotline | 03-2272 2828 |
| KTMB Call centre | 03-2267 1200 |
| KTMB Subang Jaya station | 03-5634 1677 |
| KTMB Klang station | 03-3371 9917 |
| RESTAURANTS | |
| CHINESE | Telephone No |
| Golden Phoenix | 03-8925 1111 |
| Little Penang Kafe | 03-2282 0215 |
| Madam Kwan's | 03-2026 2297 |
| Old China Cafe | 03-2072 5915 |
| Penang House | 03-8313 1598 / 1599 |
| Restoran Sam Pan | 03-7725 9255 |
| Summer Palace Chinese Restaurant | 03-8949 8888 x1332 |
| Xing Zhu Chinese Restaurant | 03-8312 7223 |
| FUSION | Telephone No |
| Abdul & Charlie's | 03-8943 6688 |
| ITALIAN | Telephone No |
| Piccolo Lago | 03-8889 3268 |
| INDONESIAN | Telephone No |
| Okra | 03-7728 0290 |
| JAPANESE | Telephone No |
| Kampachii | 03-2161 7777 |
| Oishi | 03-2287 8113 |
| MALAY | Telephone No |
| Hot Sambal Restaurant | 03-7722 2205 |
| Restoran Selera La Tumis | 03-8318 6730 |
| Saloma Theatre Restaurant | 03-2161 0122 |
| Seri Melayu | 03-2145 1833 |
| SEAFOOD | Telephone No |
| Bangsar Seafood | 03-2282 2555 |
| D'Fisherman Seafood Restaurant | 03-8889 1188 |
| Kelana Seafood | 03-7803 8118 |
| WESTERN | Telephone No |
| Bytes Café | 03-8318 3868 |
| Coliseum | 03-2692 6270 |
| The Verandah | 03-8312 7018 |
| Top Hat Restaurant | 03-8318 0018 / 20 |
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