Moral of the Story is .... If You Angmoh Dont Do Acupunture la!

I was telling this Ahlian a joke and she told me its not funny!!! MCH!!! How can be not funny?!! I refused to take not funny as answer!!! So i goan dig this video out! This story same like the one i told Ahlian ... you tell me funny anot?!

Nah Ahlian, this one espeselee for you! Niahma you better luff loud loud ok?! If not later you will kena the "Grim RAPEr!" from banglas!




Niahma ... you see the expression on that angmoh face at the end of the ads is dem priceless la! To jump or not to jump ... thats the question! The moral of the sotry is ... if you Angmoh then dont go do acupunture la diu! Acupunture is chainis thingy la! We no speak hamburger wan!

Bird Nest for Mader Day Plesen?

Mader day is nearby oni and needless to say lotsa peeple will think of what plesen they should buy for their mader. (seriously ... why oni be good to own mader only one day in a year? got serious blen damage ka?)

Of coz since most mader is alredi seasoned .... most of the chewren will prefer to buy something thats good for their health wan. Ginseng, Yomeishu and bird nest is among the popular health related producks during this mader day celebration. I dunno much about Ginseng and other health related ploducks but I got this email from Uncle Cocka about Bird nest and how its being processed that might makes you think twice about purchasing/consuming Bird's saliva (nest)

You all might think all bird nests looks like the one this bird nest harvester is holding on his hands

but think again ... out in the open ... your spit will be sticky and start attracting dust and insects and who know what kinda other creature that might get attracted by spits?





Or it will end up looking like this! A mouldy, fungus infected black bird nest! But of coz .. if they put this piece of "charcoal" on the shelves ... no one will buy it! So ....





Someone gotta clean it! seperating the bird nest from feathers, dirt and god knows what else is onnit.


Seperate ledi then cut into small small pieces ...



Then put those small small pieces into a pail and soak with water. This is where other lighter debris will float to the top and removed. but still the color is not as nice as those bird nest we buy in the shop rite? Wait la! got more process wan la!



Then soak into bleach! (Bleach is clorox or hydrogen peroxide la!)



Bleach them kaw kaw till they turn white color!


Then pour in hot water to get rid of the bleach smell



Still there will be those dirty/colored one ....


Then you hafta dig out the dirty one manually seperating them from the good one.





There! its done! Now to the next step!



Shape them up! I always wonder why those bird nest all uniform shape wan? I thot they got some kinda skool to teach those swallow how to make the same shape of nest wan ... mana tau its human who made the shape!



Nah! see nice anot? Like kueh shape lidat!



Then they kasi arrange neat neat on dryer


Then they kasi arrange neat neat on the "homemade" dryer


Before the drying process


Domestic fan being used and the heat from the bulb helps with the drying process.



Drying process might takes as long as 24 hours.



Fully dried manually shaped bird nest ready to be sell.


The Bird nest that are available at the chainis medicine shop ....

This is part of the excerpt taken from the email :

"Malaysia and Indonesia produce at least 800-2000kg of Cao Yan and Mao Yan.

In these birds' nests, only a small amount is edible (the saliva of the bird), but they are very dirty and almost black in colour. No one would want to consume it.

So should we just waste it like that? No, there is of course a way of turning them into attractive products, which is bleaching. Some suppliers use H2O2 to get rid of the smell of second class birds nest. H2O2 is a rather poisonous chemical, and it might cause cancer.

Only some food contain small amount of SO2 and SO3 (not more than 0.00000002%) In Japan the amount of SO2 and SO3 in all sorts of food must not exceed 0.00000001 after bleaching.

Before this, the nutritional value in Cao Yan and Mao Yan is already very low. After processing using chemicals, the nutrient in the birds' nests is totally destroyed. Therefore, the nutritional value can be said to be lower than Pek Bok Nee... have you eaten before?

The birds' nests which are bleached have lost its original shape. So, businessmen turn these birds' nests into different kinds of shape. The most common shapes are leaf-shaped, strips and round shape. There are also those who dye the birds nest into yellow/ red colour, and cheat the unknown consumers by selling these birds' nests to them as Xue Yan/Jin Si Yan.

The nutritional value of these birds' nest is gone and totally worthless after processing them with lots of chemicals.

Do you think that people will still be selling them ?"

Gonna be buying Bird nest for your lovely mum this lambing mader's day anyone? Cocka said eat his saliva is better la!

Note : To trust or not to trust? You be the judge ok? It might just be anoder hoax or .... it might not ....

How to Fix Your Wet Handphone?

Lets say one day u very sikap (stomachache) and you rush to toilet and take off your pants as fast as you can but while doing so .... you dropped your vehlee expensip handphone into the toilet hole and its all wet!

How now? Jialat ledi! Can save anot still? Nid to buy new phone??

Last time you no read rojaks then you are screwed and kena buy new phone la .. but now u got read rojaks ledi u no sked la! I teech lu how to save your expensip phone ok? Cheap phone no nid save la! Buy new can cheaper! LOL!

To read this article, you kena click on the image above. I lazy wanna retype the whole thing.

I know its strange ... bury your wet phone in the rice and it will be as good as before? I neber wet my phone befoh so i dunno how true izzit .... . But think of it this way ... rice is how much only per kilo? if it really works .... what do you got to lose? rite anot?

If dun work dun kam fark me ok? You prolly nid an excuse to buy a new phone anyway! LOL!

Why These Dogs Were at the VET?

There were three dogs at the vet talking to each other ....

Dog 1 : I bite up all my masters shoes, and that's why I m here.

Dog 2: I pee on my masters $1,000 carpet, and thats why i m here.

Dog 3 : My master is a female and she likes to clean house in the nude, so when she bent over to pick up something, I went for the ride of a life time!.

Dog 1 :And that's why you're here?

Dog 3 : No, my master say my nails are too sharp and I m hurting her, so she sent me here to get my nails clipped so next time I wont hurt her.

Monday Bulus - How to Snake in Opis

Its Monday! the most dreadful day of all! its a long way to go before the next weekend!!!

Its day lidis we nid a bit of push (not from behind lar you pervert!) to give us the pahwer to go thru the next 4-5 days of hell!

We in Rojaks understand this fact therefore we came out with ways to help you go thru your monday a bit easier!

Today we teeching lu how to snake in the opis!

Lets say u been typing in the opis since 9am and suddenly you feel dem blardee sleepy .... u swear to god that you could almost sleep with your eyes open ... what should you do?

This is what you should do ....

1st u slide as much as your body under the desk lidis ....



here is the top view jsut so you dont do it wrongly




When most of your body is in ... now just slide sideway till your fugly face is underneath the desk also. (like the pik above la!)



Nah show you the perspective view la!



This is the sideview!

Note : Before you attempt something as stupid as this ... i would advice you to goan weight yourself first ... if you weight anything more than 50kg ... pls dont break the chair and table ok? LOL!