28 May 2009

Ahbeng Guide on How to avoid shopping trips with your other half

Most Ahbengs alredi kena this before .... be it you are mehlid or you got a steady gerpren ... for sure you got dragged out of your wet dlims to company them go shopping one! rite anot? If you dun go they will nag 9 u long long and make u go gila or they will tell u tonite no sex! rite anot?!!

If you say not rite then u bruff 9 me la! I know wan la ... women n shopping kenot seperate one ... I myself also kena so many times ledi .... the thing is .. its not we dunwan shop with them la ... they never understand us men wan .. when we wanna buy something ... we alredi know what color/size/brand/smells we want b4 we even step into the shopping mall but as for women .... dun say far far la ... take my wife for example ... she can shop for cream crackers for 30 minutes decidig which brand to buy n then compare $ then sniff sniff see which one smells better .. then read the label n compares nutritional infos ... shopping with her can die man!!! i rather go work ok?!! LOL! mch u make sue u dont poke my puijek n tell her i said this ok!!!

Anyway .... from this point onwards we Ahbengs no sked ledi!!! Dis is bcoz far far away in Lunton Engrand there got one Ahbeng angmoh he very teh smart wan ... he come out with ways to make your wife dunwan take u go shopping with her anymore!!! No bruff 9 u wan! U take a look yourself! This idea of him even come out in the newspaper!!! You say terror anot?! He is really our Ahbeng's hero la!!!!

Click on the above image to enlarge

Dun say i no tell you ah!!! you fast fast print this out and fold nice nice small small (like a talisma) and put into your wallet ... next time your other half pull you go out shopping ... u take this paper out n follow exactly what our Ahbeng hero did can ledi!! Understen??!! Ming pak mou??!!

Photo credit - Buttercupy2k

Ahbeng New Lorry

Was talking to Buttercup (yea same name with the fictional powderpuff girl character but the thing is this buttercup is a male n hes made in msia! I think the proper name for him is currypuff boi lol!) in msn messenger about his possible transfer to Chungcock branch to work long long. Then we started toking kok and derno how suddenly toking about if he working for nike he can get USD25k per month ... this is the rest of the conver :

Buttercup : me go work for China Nike will get 25k usd also la!
Me : kaka ur face nike see also pukes la
Buttercup : me not spokeperson ma not manyjer
Me : Yala! if nike hire u means their equipment beh power la.
Buttercup : Why?
Me : Bcoz use ledi will bekam feijai like u kakakaka!!!
Buttercup : KAKAKAKAKAKA then i bekam the spokeperson for KIA la!
Me : KIA? Why KIA?
Buttercup : KIA? lol! cos KIA got sell Lorry ma.. if their lorry can carry me then that means good Lorry la!
Me : KAKAKAKAKA then KIA kena rebrand and change the name of their lorry ledi wor ....
Buttercup : Change to what?
Me : Change to TUAHpui KIA!!!
Buttercup : WTF!! LOL!! KNN nice joke!

Have you ever see a lorry on our road by the name of TUAH? i wonder if KIA took over them ... will we get to see this TUAH pui KIA lorry in real life? LOL!

27 May 2009

Cuci Mata Wednesday - Lisan the Kimchi

Remember this photo? Who is this girl? Shes Lisan the Kimchi, this is our first proper indoor photography session with proper studio like setup guided by our lighting Master, Sifu Templar Tan

Meet Sifu Templar Tan who takes camwhoring to a new level lol!

Mikestrok taikor so generous let us turn his new luxury house into a temp. studio

Flers Photographers who attended the session.... from left ... sifu Minimuffin, Hokc, Buttecupy2k & Yatz.

Sifu Templar Setting up the lightings

Golden Halo hair

Emo Blue

Blow blow wind


Your lights not tall enuff ....


errr ...

Flip flip hair

Emo Cold



Gorilla invasion

He smells like my 20 yrs old pillow!

Kiss my .....

Overall this is a fun session with non stop laughters and never ending learning oppurtunities. Spesel tenkiu to Sifu Templar for providing free lesson to us as well as the lightings equiments and Mikestrok taikor for letting us ransack his wonderful new house. Looking forward to another session this coming weekend.

26 May 2009

Bling Bling Brown a330 with matching accessories

A Bling Bling Brown (Copper topped) DSLR from Sony?

Yea ... no need to rub your eyes ... you are not seeing things lol! This is indeed a bling bling brown colored or more well known as the copper topped Sony DSLR A330 which is due to hit the Malaysia market (soon?).

It also comes with color matched accessories! In the photo above you can see the brown grip strap matching the bling bling brown a330.

and more color matched accessories for those who would like a little colors on their DSLRs

At a glance, its actually a mixture of response from flers photographers with some saying colored DSLR is not favourable while some other will say they got bored with black and wanted something different for a change.

Someone were also suggesting that Sony is actually adapting their Cybershots marketing strategies into Alphas and hense the bing bling colored cams with matching accessories.

Another press release from UK actually mentioned that these new models is actually targetted at the female users instead. So thats probably explains the new colors and accessories, perhaps also black is too macho, metrosexual males also prefer more vibrants colored dslrs as well?

I m probably the type that would never use a bling bling colored DSLR. LOL!

Will this works (as in the ability to capture the mass market) or will this shy away serious photographers in the future? I think thats not for me and you to decide. Lets wait and see!

p.s. : i thot girls are more comfy with pink? but brown?!

Image source

My Honda Wegro Sdn Bhd Service Center Experience

I changed my Little Honda city car battery yesday and today i bring my car back for ECU calibration, since i staying at cheras area ... the nearest Honda authorised service center would be the Wegro Sdn Bhd located at Jln. Cheras (opposite Tmn. Midah) at the same time i also asked them to check the aircond system and see whats wrong with it because this few days I noticed got knocking sound when i turn on my air condition but otherwise the aircond is working fine and its bloody cold too. I have to reduce the temperature to half this morning in order to avoid kena pnemonia while driving to the workshop.

Honda Wegro Sdn Bhd at Lot 4523(D), Batu 4 ½, Jalan Cheras, 56100 Kuala Lumpur

I wakeup early in the morning hoping to be the first few who send their car for repair and get the hell outta the workshop ASAP and goto work la.

No. 003

8:45 am

I got no. 003 and the time stated there is 9:18am which is wrong because rite after i settle everything i took a photo of the clock on the wall which is showing 8:45am.

I told the service advisor at counter #2 (Mr. Hon Cheon Kit) about the knocking sound when i turn on the aircondition and he told me that this is caused by the compressor belt, he recomend me to change the compressor belt and the sound would go away. I agreed to let him change the compressor belt.

the bill came up to RM 194.50

2 hours after that I was told that my car is ready for collection .... I paid the bill and with the paid bill i collected my car keys. I walked to my car .. get in and start the engine, turn on the aircond and to my suprised THERE IS NO AIRCOND!!! WTF!!! change compressor belt can magically make my aircond dissapeared one?!!!

Luckily I havent drove out to the main road yet, so i turned back and spoke to Mr. Mr. Hon Cheon Kit about this. He then opened up the engine compartment and try to diagnose the problem and I went back to the waiting area and keep waiting. Half an hour later he came back to me telling me that now I need to fork out additional RM617.00 to replace the compressor and another RM170 for the labour charges on top of the RM194.50 that I paid a moment ago!!

I was dumbfarked for a moment .... when i sent my car this morning the aircond is still working fine despite of the knocking noise, they diagnosed the problem and told me its the compressor belt which i agreed to change and they hand me back my car with NO AIRCOND! AND now ...

  1. They asking me to pay an additional sum of RM787 to fix a problem that wasnt there this morning?!!! So now its NOT the compressor belt problem? Then you recommend me to change the compressor belt for what?!!
  2. Why you hand me back my car without air condtion? Did you even checked the air condition system whether its working or not after you changed the compressor belt? Why isnt my air condition working anymore?
  3. What you done to my car? Change compressor belt can spoil the Aircond one? Who spoilt it? It coudlnt be me coz i never touched anything!!!
  4. What kinda service center is this?! You think their technicians there know WTF they is doing? I doubt so .... they handed me back my car without aircond and charge me for it!!!
  5. Why simply recomend customers to change parts that would not solve the problem? Do we looks like waterfish to you?!! DO WE??!!!
Thats not all!!! I refused to let them make more damages to my car so i told them no, i would not like to pay to you an additional sum of RM787 to fix a problem that is not there is the first place and i took off, as soon as i entered the main road i noticed the knocking sound has been replaced by a very LOUD SQUEAKING sound!!!! I SQUEAKED all the way from Cheras to Kajang!!!

So ... I paid RM194.50 to calibrate my car and to fix the knocking sound but i ended up with NO AIRCOND and a squeaking car! Hows that for an authorised Honda service center?!!!

I stopped my car half way and gave them a call and asked them what they did to my car? why is it squeaking now? They just asked me to send the car back to them again!!! WTF?? send to you again?!!! NO WAY!!! This time you might tell me that it will cost me RM2,999.00 to fix all the shit that wasnt there in the first place!!!

I sent my car to another workshop near my office and according to the technician, those Wegro techinician farked up my compressor's pulley by fixing the belt TOO TIGHT!!!

I ended up being RM655.00 POORER!!! for something that wasnt spoilt by me!!! Way to go Wegro Sdn Bhd!!!

So if you or your wife or your frends or your relatives or your colleague owns a Honda ... please tell them of this experience of mine!!!! Dont kena fark for something you did not do!

Now ... anyone can tell me .. this kinda thing can complaint to which gomen department? Ministry of internal trade can ar? Got contact number anot ar? I want kompren them kaw kaw ahh!!!! MCH!!!

24 May 2009

The Mas Great Escapade - AYAM TEH WINNER!!! RAWRR!!!


I WON!!! ... yea finally .... what? i mentioned "finally" alredi? But i want to mention again ah!!! blow ah?!!!!

YESH FINALLY LAR!!! after so many years of writing/blogging ... i finally WON something with what i wrote!!! I WONNN one of the Grand Prize!!!!! My AHBENG's ENGRISH WON!!!! OUMAIKOT!!!! I still kenot briff it wokeh??!!

What izzit I won? ... I won a MAS business crass air ticket (3rd plize) with my entry post to The Great MAS Escapade contest. FINALLY!!! AHBENG ENGRISH RAWKSSS!!!

My gud fwen .... Kampung boi & City gal won business crass to HK! thats the 2nd plize! the winner of the grand plize not plesen to take pikture.

These were all the winners (with some absent one) taking pikchers ... the one holding the mock ticket high high is yours truly Mister Ahbeng lol (I is acherly very camera shy wan .... thats why i is teh haiding!)

Who say Ahbeng manglish kenot cari makan wan?! Ahbeng manglish also can win contest wan wokeh? dun pray pray!!!


This time who want kam along?!! I dem sexpert with Bangcock ledi ok! I m a Sexperienced tourguide! LOL!!

p.s. I lafu MAS dip dip!!!! Tenkiu dip dip too!!!

22 May 2009

For Sale - Sigma 24-70mm f2.8 EX DG Macro (Canon Mount)

Sigma 24-70mm f2.8 DG EX Macro (canon mount) for sale .... ori price is RM2,000 ... 6 months old lens

Seller willing to nego .... the condition of the lens is near mint .... Good luck!

Item : Sigma 24-70mm f2.8 DG EX Macro for Canon Mount
Price (RM) : RM1500 or nearest offer. (Negotiable)
Method of Payment : COD Kota Kemuning / Puchong / Shah Alam
Date of Purchase : 11/11/2008
Warranty : Local set, warranty until Nov 2010
Condition : Just like new. See to believe.
Description: Item comes full set with box, manual, pouch, warranty card, hood and a 82mm Merkury CPL filter.
Reason : Change System
Contact : 012-326 8128 ask for Mike


Which Wireless broadband is the best in Ampang?

I dunno yet ... so far i switched from Maxis to Umobile and now to Digi ....

So far Digi still the best .... but i ngam ngam got it for 1 day jek .... will Digi be this leng later? Stay tune wait my report!!! LOL! also wish me good luck ok? I dem sien with laggy sucky mahpuki wireless broadband ledi sigh ....

21 May 2009


Curry chicken fried Meehoon

Iced Soba

Used DSLR Lenses Buying Guide

If you are or planning/planned to be a budget conscious photographer, it is inevitable that you will shop for used 2nd hand lens which cost a fraction of the price of a new one.

In this case there is a few things you must know, there are terms you gotta learn about and you should ask for ref, do some cross checking, ask questions and lastly nego, nego and nego for a good deal.

I bought enough used lenses to write a checklist of things you nned to ask/know before you hand the seller your hard earned $.

Here is a checklist for those who will be venturing into purchase of used lenses.

A fungus infected Len (source)
  1. Survey for price! Ask more experienced photographers about it ... make fwens in forums and get their opinion. it doenst hurt to ask ... but if you kena con ... ouch farking painful sial! The first reason why you wanna buy a used lens is bcoz you dont wanna spend alot on it .. but if you kena conned then might as well use the $ to buy new lens rite?
  2. Dont give credit card information to seller! (unless u purchasing from ebay or lelong etc ... if its an individual seller .. dont give credit card infos!) if seller asked u for credit card infos ... u can ask him go fly kite!
  3. Ask for photos of the products/items/lens - a piktures tells a 1000 words, ask for photos of the front glass element, the back glass elements, the external conditions and all. Make sure the lens do not have fungus growing inside or else you are FARKED! dust is ok coz they can be cleaned but fungus is bad news for lens. So .. No photo no fark!
  4. Ask about warranty, if the lens is still under warranty ask for receipts and warranty card (ask if it comes with the box, manual, lens hood, lap front and rear caps, lens filter, lens case or any other items that comes with the purchase) if the lens warranty expired then ask for personal warranty (if the item were to be shipped by courier instead of COD) bcoz if you opened your parcel and the lens is broken due to packaging issue ... who is liable? Its not your fault the seller dont pack it nicely you know?
  5. C.O.D is actually the best way to deal ..... C.O.D. is the abbr. for Cash on Delivery .... which means you actually meet the seller face to face and test the items/products/lens/camera in front of the seller and if you are satisfy with it, you pay him on the spot and take the item/products/lens/ camera home with you. Also if the item(s) that you gonna buy is worth thousands of bucks, get a friend/bodyguard/bouncer to go with you, meet at a public place. You set the location ... better be safe than sorry.
  6. Postal methods ... register post? poslaju? fedex? nationwide? etc? Who pay? tracking number? Sometime seller will request buyer to pay for the postal service, as far as my experience goes .. most of the time i will only seal the deal when the seller agreed to include postal service charge into the agreed price (free postage) and i also stated i want my item to be properly packed and to be send via poslaju with tracking number provided.
  7. Get the seller's name, address and contact number ... make sure they are genuine! if anything goes wrong u know where to find him!
  8. Ask questions, ie .. why u selling the len? what is the conditions? why so cheap/expensive? got oily blade? image quality (IQ) sharp at all focal length? what is is Min. focusing distance (MFD)? any scratches on the glass (front and back)? etc etc dont be sked! its your own hard earned $ you giving away! dont get conned!
  9. Ask in writing all the items to be included in the package, get it in black and white before handing over your money.
  10. Negotiate, negotiate and negotiate! Its our rights as consumer to negotiate, if the seller is a genuine seller he will understand and he will also respect your rights as a customers to negotiate. If the fler tok big and LCLY .... you tell him he can goan fark himself la! If your own money and you might as well buy from someone you like.

After all that being said ... yes i myself encountered arrogant LCLY seller also. There is this lens i saw on sale at his website in Jan ... in his descriptions he mention like this ...

(click on the above image to enlarge)

The seller claimed the manual focusing ring is abit gritty (sandy). WTF is that suppose to mean? I asked a few flers but they also never see this term being used to decribe a len, therefore i decide to ask the seller what does gritty means and how does that affect the Image quality? This is his reply to me.

(click on the above image to enlarge)

He said ...
"sorry lens already sold! p.s. Please read the description before you ask questions..."

WTF response is this? If i dont read the desc how the fark i know he said the manual focusing abit gritty?? I replied his message ... in my message I told him that if i did not read the description i would not ask what does gritty means. I think that is very unprofessional kinda reply coming from a lens reseller.

And this is his reply ....

(click on the above image to enlarge)

Did you read this as well? "focus got problem? the lens not sharp enuff?" I answered in the vein of what you asked, which i think is very unprofessional of you in the first place. End of discussion. I do not wish to add anything further to this conversation.

I did not reply this message, its pretty clear now that this kinda arrogant lens reseller would not get any business from me. If i m a professional i dont think i would ever buy from him in the first place what else ask him what does he meant by "gritty manual focusing ring" if you are from alphanatics forum and you would like to know which lens reseller to avoid .... feel free to msg me or leave a comment here.

Its your rights as a buyer/consumer to ask questions, as you might think you are a newbie but still you are purchasing with real money! there is no such thing as a newbie money! Ask questions if you are uncertain! If the seller refused to give answer or he LCLY or he give very dodgy answer ... ask him to goan fark himself!

Hopefully this guide will be able to answer your doubt about getting a used lens. There is good copy and bad copy ... you just need to keep asking and test it out to make sure you dint get cheated.

20 May 2009

What is Cibai?

Anoder Ahbeng words made it to the DICKtionary!!! This time the hero is CIBAI. Yea ... to many ahbengs the word cibai seems to trigger good and bad memories especially if the words is use to send regards to their maders .... but little do they know that angmoh in AMADIKA also think the word Cibai is trendy!!!

The first to find use of this wonderfool wonderfool word is people from Microsoft themself. They actually found good use of the word cibai and the next we know Cibai is the new trend in AMADIKA!!! instead of saying "Cool" they will say "Cibaiiiiiiii!!!!" kakakakaka!!!

Dunch briff me? check it our yourself la!!!

SEE?!! GOT SEE ANOT?!!! Still not convinced?!

Full text excerpt as follows :

Cibai: An abstract interpretation-based static analyzer for modular analysis and verification of Java classes

Francesco Logozzo
January 2007

We introduce Cibai a generic static analyzer based on abstract interpretation for the modular analysis and verification of Java classes. We present the abstract semantics and the underlying abstract domain, a combination of an aliasing analysis and octagons.

We discuss some implementation issues, and we compare Cibai with similar tools, showing how Cibai achieves a higher level of automation and precision while having comparable performances.

Still dont briff?!! ok fine! I show u full page screenshot!

Briff me yet?!!! WHAT?!! NO??!!! Niahma just bcoz ppl hing Ahbeng u dun jeles can?!!! Ok ok i even give u the LINK la!!! If u still dunch briff then CIBAI-LU LA!!!

Tenkiu Darling ahuei for this piece of caibaily fantastic news! Now who say cibai is a bad word ledi? WHO!??!!!

Cuci Mata Wednesday - Elena Lee MAS Cabin Crew Experience

How many Ahbengs know why girl like to mekap? Those Ahbengs got gerpren(s) or wife(s) should at least guessed why female like to mekap la .... for those who dunch habe gerpren(s) or wife(s) yet .... today is your lucky day la!

In this Cuci Mata post you can find the answer to this century old question!!!

I was recently given the oppurtunity to go visit the MAS crew training skool together gether with a bunch of bloggers and get to see many many lengluis air stewardess to be ... lau bei huet sial!!

Apart from looking at lengluis we were also shown how mekap can transform a person .... one cute & pwetty blogger Elena Lee took up the transformation challenge.

Elena Lee before the Mekap session

First we all took photos of her before the transformation ... so we all can see the after effect when the mekap artist is done with her ledi .

Let the transformations begin! Mekap artist Kawon casting her magic on Elena

draw draw eye liner

koko dun kap me lidat ... i shy ler! LOL!

Put eye shadow

Her face look like dem lum lidat lol

Wuah can see changes ledi wei!

PUT GLUE ON BULUS!!! lol OMG it rhymes!

Stick stick .... i wonder got pain anot when u tarik the bulus at the end of the day?

Stick anoder side .... now belen ledi ...

Blink blink n see!

1st time see ppl put lipstick use brush one lol

Wuah Elena so happy!

Half way there ... taking a break so smile for the cam 1st.

Mekap artist Kawon starts to do the MAS signature hairstyle .. nicknamed the karipap! lol!

Wuah i like this feel!

Roll n rolll

Twist n turn

Spray spray and we are done!

Celebrity of the day!!!

Ok now u know how and why gers put mekap ledi ... pls dun goan try it on yourself ok? Ahbeng dun use mekaps wan!!!! Oni Ahkuas do!!!