FARK!!! EARTH QUAKE IN SG LONG!!!

6:20 felt my whole opis is shaking!!! WTF!!!!

Its all over FB now!!!! confirmed the earth moved!!!

Magnitude 7.9 - SOUTHERN SUMATRA, INDONESIA

Source: earthquake.usgs.gov

USGS Earthquake Hazards Program, responsible for monitoring, reporting, and researching earthquakes and earthquake hazards

location of earthquake in indonesia: http://earthquake.usgs.gov/eqcenter/recenteqsww/Maps/10/100_0.php

How's KL now? here a pic by chris tock ...

Alan Chin Weng Lon WARNING ！ Breaking News : Indonesia area have appeared massive earthquake . Estimate Ritcher scale 7.2 .....
8 minutes ago · Comment · Like

ZCdave Bemanino wonder my place here abit shaky la juz now -.-
7 minutes ago


Yap Thomas The towers are shaking! Earthquake?
9 minutes ago · Comment · Like
Yong Yun Keong likes this.

Yong Yun Keongyea...i felt it too man...damnn...
8 minutes ago


Jenkin Yat the tremors just now actually made me feel like watching cloverfield..headache shit wtf
9 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Jun Yan FUCK!! EARTH QUAKE!!!
4 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Eelynn Tan feels the building shaking... the floor is shaking, the water in the cup is shaking... when you're on the 34th floor, this is not a good thing.
4 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Benjemin Yeap OMG!!! WTF?!!! earthquake? my whole house is shaking!!!
5 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Jack Khor Dinner sids TTDI... bai...
5 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Juan Johari grabbed jada as soon as i felt the building shake! is there any earthquake somewhere at indon mebbe??
5 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Aaron Ho earthquake? checking USGS..
5 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Jenkin Yat yeah wei i feel it too RT: @ShaolinTiger: Anything just feel some crazy vibrations? Is there an earthquake somewhere? My chair is rocking
5 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Wingz Hansem ANYONE EXPERIENCING EARTH QUAKE IN KAJANG/SUNGAI LONG?!
6 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Jenkin Yat i reckon this tremor more serious than the tsunami back then.shit the tremor is still ON~!!!!!
6 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Andi Wu gempaaaaaaaaaa non stop nehh
6 minutes ago via Facebook for BlackBerry · Comment · Like

Chris Spinzer Tock ZOMG IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE HERE IN WISMA GENTING, KUALA LUMPUR!! WTTTTFFFFFFF!!!!!! I CAN FEEL IT MOVING HERE!
6 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Suanie T err earthquake somewhere? @ShaolinTiger and I are feeling the vibrations... still on-going
6 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Wingz Hansem MY OPIS IS SHAKING IN SG LONG!!!!
6 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Gareth ShaolinTiger Anything just feel some crazy vibrations? Is there an earthquake somewhere? My chair is rocking....
6 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Jenkin Yat TREMORS AS IN NOW AT HOME WTF~!!!!!!!
6 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Wingz Hansem FUCK!! EARTH QUAKE!!!
6 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Diăo - an Ahbeng Rap

I like this rap song!! its by Namawee!!!

In the song it says ... if taiwanese say Diăo its trend ... but malaysian say Diăo then its no manners! niahma!!! Diăo!!

Here ... listen to this rap song and pay extra attention on the lyrics ok? So lan true wan!

Mch i dem hate those ppl act high crass look down on ahbengs wan. last time u in kampung that time everyday also say Diao ... now u kam KL edi wear tie goto work suddenly feel like angmoh edi ... see peeple tok canto, tok hokkien u look down on peeple ...

See peeple type engrish grammar wrong spelling wrong u look down on peeple say peeple no krass!!! Diăo u ler! U dont think ... last time u kam out from kampung that time ... the word engrish how to spell you also derno! now kam KL eat 2-3 years McD french fries edi suddenly bekam local angmoh edi izzit? Eat french fries can make u forget your own root and traditions one izzit? DIAO!!!

Topless car wash in Singapore Tease and Wash Photographs! 18SX!!! NSFW!!!

Note : This post is about bizarre news and its not porn related ok! you dont get this kinda news everyday and even the star is talking about it! There is nothing porn about this ok! If you think this is porn then goan fark urself!

Remembered i blogged about the First Topless car wash in Singapore back in September and everyone thinks its a hoax?

Everyone keeps saying that thing like this is impossible to happen in Singapore!!!

Well guess what? Today your luck is extremely good! My Buddy Casey from enginelounge.com is really a lucky basket!!!

I m now so the jeles of him bcoz he got the invites to goan shoot the whole TOPLESS CAR WASH thingy in Singapore and bring it back to Malaysia so that you hamsap baskets all can feast your eyes!!!!

The Entrance to HEAVEN CAR WASH!! LOL!

And this is one smexy jiejie washing car!! got see anot?!! REALLY TOPLESS CAR WASH LEH!!!

TOPLESS jiejie posing for the photo after washing car!

TOPLESS jiejie spray water leh!

TOPLESS jiejie rub rub your car!!! .... phuhhhhh .. rub rub here ... rub rub there ....

3 TOPLESS jiejies washing ONE car!!!! How to tahan?!!! HOW?!!!

TOPLESS jiejie spray water

OMG spray again!!!! Must tahannnnn!!!!! *inhaleeee ... exhaleeeee...*

No car? no car nevermind!!! TOPLESS jiejie willing to wash motorbike also!!! No motorbike?!! Bicycle also can!!!

After wash can camwhore with all the TOPLESS jiejies wann!!! Where on earth can u get your car wash by 3 TOPLESS jiejies and at the end of it ... they let u camwhore with them wan?!!! ONLY in Singkapoh!!!

They wash car Clean anot?? DOES IT REALLY MATTERS?!!! DOES IT??!!!! KAKAKA!!!!

Ok jokes aside ... seriously ... Whats the motive behind this Topless Carwash? Here is why ....

SKEPTICS had doubted such a show in squeaky clean Singapore but it was no tease. They were indeed wet, bubbly and topless.

Four young and sexy women did wash cars wearing only their bikini bottoms and high heels, as promised by the operator of a new motoring website.

Twenty lucky members of the Motoring Exchange portal were given a special treat to have their cars washed by the babes on Sept 26.

The location, kept a secret before the event, was an abandoned warehouse. It was dubbed a “private event” to use a loophole in Singapore’s laws pertaining to public nudity.

Read more here

Nosebleed pics source : http://www.enginelounge.com (yes .. there is more pics there!)

AhBeng The Gorilla Hunter

Long long time ago got one fehmes Gorilla hunter call AhBeng .... and one morning Ahbeng received a call from an Aunty about a big bad gorrila stuck in her plantation. DELAY NO MORE! Ahbeng pack his AK47 and untie his fierce Rotweiler n bring the dog with him to the hunt for the gorrila.

Upon arrival .. Ahbeng scout around the plantation for a while to look for the gorrila and to access the conditions to work out a plan .... then Ahbeng brief the aunty about the situation.

Ahbeng : Aunty is lidis one ... i found the gorrila edi ... now this is what i will do ... so u listen carefully ok? you role is this mission is very important one ok?

Aunty : ok ok i listening edi ... what u want me to do ar?

Ahbeng : later i climb up the tree ... i catch the gorilla and throw him down and then my rotweiler will bite his balls (chuntois/springbags) and game over liow ....

Aunty : ah? then what am i suppose to do? Take the gorilla's balls out of the rotweiler's mouth ar?

Rotweiler : GGrrrr ....

Ahbeng : no no ... u let my dog eat his balls ... and leave my dog alone ok? hes abit sot sot dei one so u dont wanna fark with my rotweiler ok?

Aunty : ok ok then what am i suppose to do?

Ahbeng : Nah .. take this gun ... u know how to use anot?

Aunty : press this only mah! i know how to use wan ... what u want me to shoot leh?

Ahbeng : U see ... not everytime I can throw the gorilla down one ... sometime hor the gorilla will throw me down ... if that happens then ...

Aunty : So when the gorilla throw u down then I shoot the gorilla izzit? izzit?

Ahbeng : No no!!! dont shoot the gorilla ... SHOOT THE DAMN DOG AH!!!

Delay No More! - AhBeng Refreshening Crash Course

Its not what you think it is ... to an AhBeng Delay No More signifies the acknowledgement of Engrish towards AhBeng's existance.

Its not a new Phrase ... it first appears a few years back (from a movie i tink) but over the years it was slowly forgotten ...

Yesday I goto my brader Zewt's blog and saw this barger mia pics which he took from his HK vacation then oni i realised the Hongkies alredi started to make full use of this DELAY NO MORE phrase!

Pics stolen from zewt's blog ... dun tell him ah! he derno wan!

There is this boutique in HK that specialized in this kinda t-shirt ... they now put additional words below the DELAY NO MORE phrase like DELAY NO MORE recycled, or Stop smoking (according to bro zewt la) or watever fark line that u can put after a DELAY NO MORE phrase la!

If you must know what DELAY NO MORE means .... try saying the phrase as fast as u can while importing more n more Cantonese slang into it ... for non canto speaker /Ahbeng its easier for u to google the word "Delay no more + cantonese"

Still dont get it? Then ... DELAY NO MORE la!!! LOL

Fighting Video of Gary Chaw and Justin Lo in Hong Kong

Just in case you dint know how it happened ... here izzit for your viewing pleasure :)

Those who are still blur blur lemme enlighten u abit ... few days ago Malaysian born singer Gary Chaw had a huge fight with (his supposingly best fwen) Justin Lo (Jaktin - HK fehmes singer) on the street of Hong Kong ...

What happened? What the video la!

Wah lau eh so lan the drama wan!!! got Berus Lee jump here jump there also!! this Gary Chaw dem brutal ok? LOL!

Miss World Singapore Bigini Ris Low Guilty of credit card fraud!!!

Ok so now i know where she got her expensip lehperk prinks and Zipbra and Biginis and Gins and Rad came from ledi!!!

You know lehperk prinks and zipbra prinks dont come cheap these days ok .... those are imported from Afrika wan ... nabeh sit aeroplane kam wan neh! how she can afford to buy so expensive branded stuffs leh?

I alredi suspek her long long edi ... mana tau my Ahlian spy in Singkapoh Karmen helped me dig this cigarette out!! whats the Cigarette?

Ris Low Guilty of Credit card fault!!!

Jialat lo! she won the Miss World Singkapoh title in July but she kena caught credit card fraud in May ... lidat they still let her join Miss Singkapoh wan??!! Looks like any Ahlian and Ahuei also can win Miss Singkapoh nowadays huh? ... nx time prolly Ahbeng in skirt also can join edi since the standard dropped so much LOL!!!

Befoh she kena caught in May hor ... she acherly kena fired from the place she working at in april .. thats bcoz she kena caught using one of the patient's credit card also! Wah lau eh ... April that time also kena caught liow wei!!! If u ever see this girl ... pulez hide all your credit cards wei!!! LOL! ...

Heres the official story for u all patkuah ahbengs n ahlians to read la!

Guilty of credit card fraud

By Dawn Tay

RECENTLY crowned Miss Singapore World Ris Low, 19, had earlier been found guilty of credit-card fraud.

The beauty queen was convicted of five charges of misappropriation, cheating using illegally obtained credit cards, and impersonating their users' identities.

The first-time offender was sentenced in May this year to 24 months of supervised probation, said a Subordinate Courts spokesman in response to a query from my paper.

Another 60 charges were taken into consideration for the purposes of sentencing, he said.

Court documents show that Miss Low spent a total of more than $2,400 on at least four separate occasions, using at least three different credit cards in April and May last year.

It is not known how she obtained the credit cards.

my paper understands that her previous employer, a healthcare company, made a police report about her in April last year.

It suspected that Miss Low, who worked there for five months as a patient-service assistant, had used credit cards belonging to its patients. It asked her to leave the following month.

[source]

I think think hor ... this is acherly a disease ler ... shes not a bad person acherly but shes just allergic to credit cards oni jek .... buden again ... u think in Singkapoh now they Heng promote Crooks as Idol to represents them izzit? LOL!!!!!

Ayam begining to rub Singkapoh more n more edi!!!!

Malaysian Jackass - Bangsar Burger King Drive thru Gig

You watched the Amadika version of Jackass befoh? If u havant then i rekomen u goan get a copy of the dvd n watch it ... its sick but funny ok?

So far i havent seen any of our home grown boys did those sicko stuffs like those in the amadika version but a frend of mine passed me this video who were made by his frends in bangsar Burger king! The video is about 4 baskets who drove thru burger king drive thru with a ferrari!!! A cardbox farrari!!! KAKAKAKA!!!

Video is below ... the pic above is only the screenshot from the video oni ler!

I been told that this 4 baskets all went abroad to study edi ... if not god knows what kinda gig they will come out with next! What a waste!!! LOL!

How to Save Some Money During Mooncake Festival

Yesday I post this msg up in my Facebook status komprening that how costly this mooncake festival is and I wonders who came up with this sohai idea of exchanging mooncake one ... below is the exact words la ....

The thing i dont like about this chainis moon festival is ... we gonna buy 8-12 boxes of mooncake (mc) and in return we gonna get 8-12 boxes of mooncake back (in different brand of coz) Now .. thats when the problem start ... I started with 8-12 boxes of mooncakes and i ended with 8-12 boxes of mooncakes .... why am i buying 8-12 boxes of mooncake for myself?!!! I cant effing finish 8-12 boxes of mooncake without getting diabetes!!! MCH!!! what a sohai idea!!!

And below is the replies from fler Ahbengs frends to the rescue!

Jeffrey Tan : a better way is to buy one and rotate for 12 times :P

Alex Yeoh : thats why ... u wait for a relative to give u 1st .... den u got d u swap with other relatives... after swapping a few boxes here and there u then give back a different brand back to the original feller lo... =D

Andy Leong : better buy two and rotate la. hehehe.

Kelvin ChowGimme few boxes la...and i can guaran-damn-tee u, i wont give back any. Nothing! Nil! E-let! (with frend like Kelvin ... who needs enemy la?!)

So ... the conclusion is ...

1. You either buy 1 box of MC of u wait till someone gave u one ... or Andy suggested that u should start with 2 boxes of mooncake instead of 1 ... just in case some stingy basket pretend he derno u after he got your mooncake.
2. You gave the mooncake to your frend/relative and then they will give u one back in return.
3. Keep recycling till mooncake festival is over lol.
4. Lets say the cost of 1 box of mooncake is RM32.00 and i only need to buy 2 boxes instead of 12 ... i will be saving RM320.00!! RM320.00 i can eat whole month mannn!!!

To Grow Old In JB - A Song By Singaporean

Why lately so much news about Singapore? If thats what u asking .... then lemme ask u bek lor .. do u briff in coincidence? So ngam oni ler! It just happened that the interesting stuffs i stumbled upon these few days are related to Singapore! Its not my fault Singapore got so many interesting things ok?

so there ... Singaporean r advised (in this song) not to waste the space in Singapore (bcoz Spore very small so kena leave the space to young productive peeps) and go JB to spend the rest of their miserable life LOL! Not i say one ok?!! the singer say wan ah!!!

This is acherly good news for Malaysian who is working in singapore ok? If your Singaporean employer/ manager/supervisor lansi with u ... u just tell him lidis he sure shrink balls one "You dun lemme see u in JB when u old ok?" kakakakaka!!!

*sings* If AhKong kanna sick ... send him to JB~~~ Dem! the song is now stuck in my head!!! cant shake it off !!!

Bak Kut Teh, Yee Sang is Mine!! ALL MINE!!!!

Pic credit

I remember last time (forgot when edi la) ... discovery channel showing this ads about Singapore one. In that particular ads got say Singpore is the culinary center of Asean ... at once i tell myself "WTF?!!! yau mou?!! so lan yucky food sommo say culinary center of Asean?! Farkiu la!"

Its a well known fact that Singaporean comes to Malaysia for food ... especially over the logn weekend. They will drive few hundred kliks just to get good food ... on the other hand ... do you happen to know any malaysian(s) that drove to singapore for food? do you? ... not me! I never heard sucha thing as "lets drive to Singapore for food!" but i must be honest ok? lately ... there is alotsa "Lets drive to Singapore to get our car wash LOL!"

Why did i brought this up anyway? ... well its my response to this article in The Star (yea the star again .. i cheapskate mah can? free online niuspepah leh!)

Dr Ng’s statement did not go down well with some Netizens in the region, especially Singaporeans, who had come to consider Hainanese chicken rice and chilli crab their own.

The more diplomatic ones shrugged it off as “a promotional exercise” but not everyone was as kind.

“She might as well claim that steamed white rice is also Malay-sian,” said a reader on Singapore’s Straits Times online discussion board.

Another post read: “Laksa, nasi lemak, Hainanese chicken rice, chilli crab and bak kut teh – how many Malaysian outlets’ food is as tasty as the ones found in any food court here? Come and taste the originals by Singaporeans”.

“Countries of origin? Just cook and eat to your hearts’ content. It is how it is cooked and what makes tourists keep coming back to them that matters!” said another respondent on the forum.

Singaporean blogger TheBrother-hood questioned how Malaysia would make their claim on the dishes official.

“The principle of food sovereignty would be hilarious, if only it wasn’t taken so seriously. Tell me is chilli crab Malaysian or Singaporean? What about laksa, is it ours or theirs? Are we going to the Hague (International Court of Justice)?” he asked.

[source]

Alo?! niahma u all! U all also originated from Malaysia ... when singapore broke off and declare independant u all bring the culture n food along with u and now u claim Malaysia food originated from Singapore?!!! Singapore skool no teech history wan ar? KNN!! If you derno then dun pretend smart la! You go ask your grandpa n see the food came from where one la!!

Sommo ask ppl to taste your food court food sommo!!! They really derno where the food court operator originated from izzit? Singapore where got own food wan la? Other than Malaysia now Singapore food courts also serving China's dishes ... The only Singapore dish i known of is prolly Sing Chow Mai ... since the name itself alredi mentioned its from Singapore lol!!

Lastly ... befoh you Singkapohlians say anything about Yee Sang yet ... lemme make the claim now first!!! YEE SANG IS A MALAYSIAN DISH!!! YOU FARKERS DONT SMART SMART GOAN CLAIM ITS URS AGAIN OK?!!! Oh .. i forgotten another Ampang Originated dish AMPANG YONG TAU FOO IS MALAYSIAN DISH TOO OK?!!! YOU DONT GO CLAIM THE DISH IS SINGAPOREAN DISH IN DISCOVERY CHANNEL CAN?!!! you think you changed the name to Niang Too foo and u can claim its Singapore dish ka? PTUI!!!

Ok now that we all agreed that Yee Sang is a Malaysian dish so .... Farkiu n go prey far far!

What Kinda entertaiment Value does Sheep have?

When you mention the word "sheep" u will then think of New zealand? Yea .. i know .. i cant help it either la! ... those bargers is sick wan! Anyway lets not go there today ok? Today we look at sheep as a very useful/wonderful animal ...

So today when you mention sheeps .. that will actually remind me of its fur to make clothes ... and meat to makan .... and New zealander ... and Monalisa and fireworks .. and pong (yea pong the ancient computer game) and Samsung smart LED too!

You dunch understen what ayam toking about? nebermind ... watch the below video then u will understen wan!

WUAH!!! leng mou? ... i wonder if Samsung will sell the led to human anot? ... i wanna wear this and goto sleep ... glow in the dark man kakakaka ...

I m wondering ... if all sheep have glowing LED lights on them then ..... new zealander who tried to be funny with sheeps will be easily spotted KAKAKAKA!!!

Wingz Can Teech - BM for Angmoh

Briff it anot ... i found it very easy to teech Bahasa Malaysia to Angmoh (orang putih/gwailou la!)

Few days ago we got yum char with this frend ... and so ngam this fren got a newly arrived Angmoh boss who were sent here by their HQ in amadika to oversee the operation in this part of the world.

Acherly the angmoh is not invited to the yumchar one but the barger die die also wanna follow him to our yumchar wan ... so since hes his boss then no choice he kena bring him to our yum char session lor .. he told us that his boss also need some fwens while hes here one ler ... so we accomodate the angmoh n let him join our gang for a while la.

For the sake of this post .... lets call this angmoh John ok? this being his 1st time in Msia this john barger askied us alotsa questions about Msia which we very happy to tell him our grandmader story about the country we love so much la! Then suddenly John wanna go toilet ... he asked me lidis ...

John : How to say toilet in malay?

Me : Tonne-Dust

John : ok thats easy ... what about i wanna take a leak?

Me : peeing is Cunt-ching

John : HAHAHA!!! WTF? thats funny! what about I wanna shit?

Me : Shit is Bear-Rack in Malay

John : dem ... malay is really not that difficult huh? How to say stomach ache?

Me : Stomach ache is Suck-it-Pear-Root

John : shit u not pulling my leg rite? This is easy shit! .... how u say diahorrea?

Me : diahorrea is abit difficult .... so listen carefully ok .... diahorrea in malay is Chair-Red-Bear-Red

John : LOL!!! no shit ... damn i cant take this much laughs with my bladder filled to the brim! ... i wanna go Cunt-ching first ... when i come back please teach me more deal?

Me : OK! happy Cunt-ching!

Befoh the barger kambek from toiret i alredi chow .... bcoz misus sms me saying that my visa gonna expire soon ... not wanting to risk sleeping in the car i left as soon as i received the sms .... my fwen sms me this morning saying his angmoh boss is looking for me for another round of BM tuisyen LOL!

Tease & Wash - Singapore's First Topless Carwash Promo Videos & Parody

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Related post :

Topless car wash in Singapore Tease and Wash Photographs! 18SX!!! NSFW!!!

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Attenten ALL HAMSAPS AHBENGS!!!

We is going to convoy to Singapore together gether this kambing 26th Sept 2009 to get our car wash by topless Singkapohlians Chicks!!! Wat? u got no car?! No worry bring your motobike la! No motobike bring bicycle also can!!! Die die must let them wash! Clean anot .. thats anoder story ... but MUST WASH!!!

Whats the deal?

Well ... Singapore there got one Ahbeng gonna do nen-nen car wash! no bra wan!!! rub your car till sprakling clean!! get your car wash while having election!!! wuah mana mau cari man!!!

Dun briff me again? u read yourself la! Promo Videos, FB and website link @ the bottom of the page!

Car wash offers titillating rub down

A CAR wash in Singapore is offering customers a “one-day only erotic experience” of having topless women wash their vehicles.

Sin Chew Daily reported that Tease & Wash was offering the topless service as a promotion in the run-up to its official opening on Oct 1.

Its founder, Gerald Chen, 29, promised that the promotion would only feature “real” women washing the cars, and not men disguised as the fairer sex to trick customers.

[Source]

OF COZ ... when there is believers ... there will indefinitely be Non-Believers also ... so there is this Ahbeng who dunch briff Singkapoh can habe Topless car wash and its all a BIG HOAX to lure all the HAMSAPS AHBENGS to one spot then to educate them about AIDS n CONDOMS KAKAKAKAKA!!! He even made a video ok!!! He suspek those topless chicks will be replaced by topless dude on that day itself! Watch and luff your ass off!!!

So ... what u tink? Hoax or true? You tink singkapoh gomen really gonna allow this? Personally .. i think the possibilities quite high also la .... dun forget one thing ... the made Geylang legal rite? This is just tits oni leh .... LOL!

1. Tease & Wash Website
2. Tease and Wash FB link

OK cut the crap ... who want convoy down to Singkapoh leave your name here!!! Must bring own (car/motobai/baisikel) let the jiejie wash wan hor! if you lucky ... the topless jiejie might gibe u her bra as souvenier leh!

Toking about being honest ....

Well .. if you look at the banners in below pichers u will know that there is some ongoing campaign in one of the gomen related body ... i derno exactly what campaign izzit but if i were to guess .. maybe its campaign jujur? LOL!

So .. now the campaign motto is "BUAT KERJA" ... so befoh this campaign that means ...... (u no i no la!) KAKAKAKAKAKA!!!!!

I Salute whoever that came out with this idea! U got balls man!!! I rike u ah!!!

See what see? BUAT KERJA LA DIU!!!! KAKAKAKA!!!

[pic source]

Faster Way to Transmit Data ... Use a Pigeon!

Do you having this kimnda problems with your internet connection?

• You komprening about your slow bloadband internet connection?
• You looking forward to a better way to transmit your data?
• You left your computer on to download and discovered its only at 8% when you got home?
• You got bored watching the same ol pr0n bcause your connection is too shitty to download new one?
• Your connection is so slow that the latest tweet updates you received is dated 2 weeks ago?
• You still thinks StimX sucks?

Well if your answer to all the above questions is YES ... then on ... otherwise go back to your pr0n downloading!! LOL

Broadband promised to unite the world with super-fast data delivery - but in South Africa it seems the web is still no faster than a humble pigeon.
A Durban IT company pitted an 11-month-old bird armed with a 4GB memory stick against the ADSL service from the country's biggest web firm, Telkom.

Winston the pigeon took two hours to carry the data 60 miles - in the same time the ADSL had sent 4% of the data.

Telkom said it was not responsible for the firm's slow internet speeds.

The idea for the race came when a member of staff at Unlimited IT complained about the speed of data transmission on ADSL.

He said it would be faster by carrier pigeon.

"We renown ourselves on being innovative, so we decided to test that statement," Unlimited's Kevin Rolfe told the Beeld newspaper.

[source]

Lidis kalo ... those who wants faster data transfer rate ... you need to breeding pigeons and buy bigger capacity thum drives ... not forgetting Pigeon feeds too! Back to old skol! LOL!

Baddy Indons Hunting for Malaysian in Jakarta? Scary Shit!!

It seems that now indonesian in indonesia have got a new hobby! What is their new hobby? Read it yourself!

Armed Indonesian Nationalists Block Road In Hunt for Malaysians

Dozens of people belonging to an anti-Malaysia group briefly attempted an intimidating road-block and ID check to identify Malaysians along a busy Central Jakarta street on Tuesday, but came up empty-handed.

The operation, initially planned for an hour, only lasted for thirty minutes, but witnesses said the action managed to raise tension as activists stopped drivers and asked for their IDs.

A road block was erected directly in front of the central post of the anti-Malaysia group, the Benteng Demokrasi Rakyat (People’s Defense of Democracy) in the vacant former headquarters of a political party.

The sight of men carrying sharpened bamboo sticks was more than enough to raise concerns among those who were stopped.

Muchtar Bonaventura, who claimed to be the coordinator of the group, said the sweep was held to warn the Malaysian government not to act recklessly against Indonesian citizens and to stop claiming Indonesian culture as their own.

[source]

The last time i check ... we got a couple millions indonesians in our country and they are saying we pirated their culture? WTF?!!

Stop coming into our country with your culture then! If you have to come ... then come culture-less or dont come at all la! Diu!

Related News :

1. Stop Sweeping for Malaysians, Say Indonesian Lawmakers
2. Anti-Malaysia activists launch raid on Malaysians
3. Activists conduct sweep against Malaysians on street
4. Pers Malaysia Beritakan "Sweeping" di Jakarta

Pic source

Bubbles ....

I am easily amused by the bubbles in sodas since long long time ago ... hence this shot ...

Hamsap Car Alarm - Only for Ahbeng!

Why does car alarm habe to be annoying loud and so un-sexy??! ... if got car alarm goes off in your neighbourhood you think your neighbours bother to go out n take a look anot?

Of coz no la! they fark u no free la! they prolly will close door to prevent your annoying car alarm sound from disturbing them further! No one will give a fark other than you ok? that is ... provided you are around to care la lol! What if you balik kampung or go oversea edi? then who gonna plotek your car?!!

How?!! sked leh!!!! but AhBeng you dont worry ok? Now got new car alarm system to plotek lu mia Wiralution sepot car from being stolen! If you installed this alarm edi i gerenti your neighbour will come out n look if you alarm goes off! Not only your neighbour ... your neighbour's neighrbour's neighbours's neighbours also will kam out n look at your car!!! In fact whole kampung also kam look at your car wan!!!

I really no bruff you wan! .... I gerenti you no regret install this alarm one! if nobody curi your car that time ... u can use it to arose your Ahlian(s) also!!!!

What alarm is that? This alarm is call the Climax / Orgasmic car Alarm!!! How to use wan? ... haha we got video to show you how it works in details!!!

After you watch .... pulez call the number below to place your order ok? 1st 556,864,234.64 orders will receive limited edition condom Cap Ahbeng one year supply!!! LOL!

How ... you like this Hamsap alarm mou?! ... i bet your Ahlian gerfrends will like it wan!! U dun briff you install and see la!!!

I RUB OGAWA!!!

After 8 hours of daily fierce battle in the office and you leaving the office kena bruised and injured …. What kinda thoughts do you actually have in your mind? Where do you wanna go to heal your wounds?

The first thing that crossed my mind is to get rejuvenated! How to do or rather where to go to get that? The only way I could think of is to go for a massage!! YESH!!! I love massage!!! Massage is good … everytime I go for my massage I walked out feeling like I just been given a new body with a 100% fully charged battery.

But for a married man like me … a massage session is not without any consequences you see … lets look at the odds of getting a massage …

• 1. You will have to convince your wife that the massage spa you went to do not offer any “happy ending” kinda serbis.
• 2. You also will have to convinced her that there aren’t any female(s) working in the massage center.
• 3. If you failed to ensure your wife that there isn’t any females(s) working at the massage center then you gotta convinced her that you did not talked to any females while you are there.
• 4. Your also need to convinced her that your masseur is a guy! Not some pretty china girl in skimpy bikini!
• 5. If you failed to do that then you kena make her briff that the masseur girl is actually a fugly bitch and you are not even aroused … not even abit!
• 6. You gotta make her briff that the massage session took place in a public area with lotsa other male customers! It is brightly lighted and its not in some dim romantic light private room!
• 7. You also must make sure the masseur do not use anything that resembles a women scented perfume massage oil you!
• 8. Any long hair that does not belongs to you which you bring home is gonna cause you some hefty damages.

So, you see … getting a massage is not easy if you are a married man like me … what other alternative do I have?

Other than those factors mentioned above … I also hate driving thru the city traffics to get to the massage center not to mention … locating a car park! Worrying that I might lose my car in the high crime area totally puts me off the idea of getting a massage in the center of the city too!

But all that is gonna change you see … I got this one splendid solution to my massage fetish! Lemme share my idea with you all Ahbengs!

This fun cheong lum till sleep edi!

Before this I never thought that I would fall in love with a massage chair … not any massage chair .. it’s the one and only Ogawa Smartaire! This massage chair can do Zero Gravity wan!!! Massage till u high high dei … very song ah!!!

You see Nicole mia face ... u say lum anot?

All these happened during a nuffnang bloggers event held at the Ogawa showroom @ Pavillion.

The entrance of Ogawa Pavillion

Bloggers terrorizing Ogawa’s Pavillion showroom!

There is another thing I learnt during my visits to Ogawa Showroom that day … they are actually having this online promotion for fellow netizens!



Up to 70% discount specially for you oi!

Lets see what so good about these items shall we?

First we take a look at The Enviro Vacuum Cleaner guarantees no secondary pollution in your home because unlike conventional vacuum cleaners that uses dust bags; Enviro captures dust and retains it in the water to prevent it from being discharged into the air. Think of H1N1!!! Think of what this vacuum can do for your home and family! Then take a look at the spesel offer price! … Do u see what I see?! Lol!

You definitely need the Omron Digital Termometer! This is a must have in every home! Must check for temperature every now and then to make sure everyone in the family is Fever free!!! And @ only RM20 you do not have any reason not to get one!!! Its for the family ok?

Lastly we look at the Eye Tune and Eye Touch … both items are now below the RM200 mark! I don’t know about you but these 2 items definitely will do me good! Maybe oldage catching up la … I lately dem easy to get headache… sommo I late late also no sleep wan! Always sit in front of monitor staring at it long long till late hours! (No! I not watching p0rn ok?!!! I is werking n blogging and let lengluis hit on me can?!) so all I have to do now is to put on my Eye Tune and let it work its magic on me … cpuple of mins before I go to sleep! Who said healthy lifestyle is difficult la?

And if you think EYE TUNE and EYE TOUCH will make you look hideous …. Take a look at the below photo ….

PinkPau with Pink EYETNE

I think Pinkpau looked effing HAWT with EYE TUNE on! …. Who knows .. your other half might get turned on too to see you in one of this!

It really doesn’t matter whether you are a blogger/nuffnanger or not … all you need to do is to print out the above coupons and present it at any Ogawa showroom to entitle yourself for the spesel promo price! Its that Ez!

For more infos on these you can either visits Ogawaworld.net or http://www.nuffnang.com.my/blog/2009/08/23/exclusive-online-deals-from-ogawa-just-for-you/

Fatit grab your favourite items before the promo ends!!! Finish edi u don’t regret ok!

Hear what Hongky Gotta Says About Firece Singapore Ahlian Who Weck her Bf's balls

As strange as it might seems ... looks like this S&M couple is going international pretty soon!!!

There is this Ahbeng in HongKong that speaks very Ahbeng kinda engrish (so you kena playback a couple of times to acherly understand what hes saying) and he made this video of what he think of the whole "fierce balls wecking Singapore Ahlian fiasco" ... nevertheless this Peter Chow is a freaking funny guy!

Enjoy ....

You just witnessed Hongky Engrish at its best! LOL! I cant get a shit hes saying during my 1st time watching ... gotta playback a couple of times to acherly get wtf hes saying!

Mother Bitch ... now thats a new word!

So whats next? Amadika? eh wait ... this farker is alredi in amadika! Vancouver canada! lol!

Whats hips in Singapore? Bigini, Gins, Rad and Zipbra!

Following the "fierce Ahlian weck balls" incident ... another fehmes Singapore Ahlian emerged on the frontpage this time with Bigini, Gins, Rad and Zipbra!

Who izzit this time? Its Singapoh's own 19 yrs old Miss Universe contestant Miss. Ris Low!! For details please read the below cutting from the star ....

[source]

Then again ... dint your mader always tell you dunch briff everything you read in the internet?! Even our politicians also owaz blem the bloggers for telling lies ... and in order not to be accused of lying ... here ... i put the exact interbiu video clip below to verify all that ... watch and judge for yourself!


For the second time tonite i TENKOT i not Singkapohlians!!! kakakakaka!!!

I think hor ... Singapoh should really change their tag line to ... Singkapohlians .... truly Ahlians!!!

How Singaporean Reacts to the High-heel Ahlian Weck Ahbeng balls Incident?

To those who did not gets to view the full clips ... there is more than High-heel on balls moments in this below video .... you will also witness a few very fehmes kungfu moves displayed by the "fierce" Ahlian orso!!!

Among the infamous kungfu moves used were :

1. Monkey steal grapes .... but a more vicious modified move which includes the act of grabbing and yanking the Ahbeng's balls.
2. Shoe is harder than skull .... this is century old move plektised by the Shaolin monk in china!
3. Hit an opponent thru the moutain .... this were shown by the "fierce" Ahlian when she succesfully weck Ahbeng's balls even tho Ahbeng is "safe guarding" his balls with both his palms.
4. You might think this Ahbeng is coward but thats is not acherly the case! u see ... this Ahbeng got learn this century old shaolin monk kungfu call "THE GOLDEN EGGS!" thats why he still stands tall even tho that fierce Ahlian been ehteking his balls non stop!! dun prey prey!!

Apparently the 41 yrs old Kungfu Ahbeng is a Director of rich international property kompeni and the 21 yrs old Fierce Ahlian is the receptionist in the same kompeni also! Wah lan eh ... 41 yrs old director Ahbeng let 21 yrs old receptionist Ahlian bang his balls in public lidat ... mana mau taruk face man?! This Ahbeng also dem Peado ok?!

See see? Kanneh ... i told u edi ok? lich ppl got weird hobby wan! SM is one of them!

How I know all this? I also derno one leh! I read it from HERE geh!

To those Ahlians who is watching this video / reading this post ... pls ... PULEZ DO NOT DO THIS TO YOUR AHBENG OK? THIS 2 COUPLE IS HIGHLY TRAINED STUNT PROPESIONEL OK?! DO NOT DO THIS AT HOME!!!

To Ahbengs watching / reading this post ..... may god bless us all from fierce Singkapoh's AHLIANS!!!!!! Larkee ayam not in singkapoh!!! TENKOT!!! kakakakaka!!!!