31 July 2008

Kuwakchai.com BETA

Do you belongs to any of this listed below?

  • [1] You alwaz dreaming about being a Kuwakchai but no balls to actually try it?
  • [2] Got too much free time in the opis and derno what to do with it?
  • [3] Too stress need a break?
  • [4] You dont have powerful computer to play those advance advance game?
  • [5] You dont have fast connection for online 3D graphical game?
  • [6] You playing in the office and kenot play games with sound?
  • [7] Feel like bash 9 someone up and dont wanna get jailed for it?
  • [8] Looking for a free game to play?
  • [9] Tired of playing games that are made for Angmohs/foreigners?
  • [10] Wanna play something local and you can relates to?

If you belongs to any of the above group of peeple .... then i got just the game for you!

Ladies and Genitalmen ... introducing .... Kuwakchai!!

Kuwakchai.com login page


Kuwakchai beta

You got what it takes to be a Kuwakchai? You got balls? Kam! Beta Players Wanted! Register at Kuwakchai.com!

Btw ... its still beta, so be prepare to expect some minor bugs here n there.

30 July 2008

Graphis Designer & Web Programmer Wanted!

Just a short note.

A friend of mine is looking for both graphic designer and web programmer (freelance) for a project he got in mind.

Feel free to drop me an email and i will get it forwarded to him. Email me at rojaks.wingz[at]gmail.com

Cuci Mata WETnesday - Pheeweettt Frensters Lengluis!! Part 2


Got this from forwarded email, looks like some is too free/nice to go around frendster collecting piktures of Lengluis from Malaysia and compiling them up and send to everyone! But also thanks to him you guys got Cuci mata post to see today la!


Like usual ... Ahbengs n Ahpeks sekalian .... I present to you the Rules and Regulations of reading Cuci Mata Post!! Before you proceed you will agree that you will adhere to the belows rules and regulations.
  • 1. No hands under the desk/table
  • 2. No hands below waist level
  • 3. No goto toilet TFK after reading this post
  • 4. No Weak Heart ... if you got heart attack one pls ask your lokter for permission 1st.
  • 5. Do not take Viagra before viewing this post, Tongkat Ali also kenot! If take ledi dun proceed ... I sked later u lau bei huet!
  • 6. Others proceed under own risk.
  • 7. Dun let your boss catch you staring at lengluis with a boner! You kena fire dun kam find me!


I lafu Race Queen wan!!


Phuiyo ampang mali! Looks at her lips!!! I wonder how they taste like!!! .... How come i never met here in ampang wan?!!! WHY!!!


Angel Wing? we matching leh!!


This one no nid taste ... look at her alredi sweet enuff!


Ipoh mali!!! 23 yrs old but looks like 16!!! fresh flesh!!!


Phuiyoo .. her eyes .... look long long can get orgasm one!


Another ipoh mali mia chiu kap mou tik leng lui .... if i ever gonna move my ass outta KL ... ipoh is definitely the place to be at!

Another contestant from ipoh mali! See see? ipoh is a place where they manufacture lengluis one!

This is the only one from alor setar!


This tiffi is from penang, like anime character so cute can die wei!!! maybe shes a doll and you can bring her home and play change clothes like barbie! LOL!

Thats wrapped up our cuci mata session for today, tune in for more frendster lenglui next week! (yea i got more of this kinda pics in my inbox ... just gotta search for it tho! )

29 July 2008

I lub u

This is a community message brought to you by Rojaks.


Have a happy 3 more working days to go!

OMG I is femes!! I is posting here!!

Its Tiusday! Singkapohlians go Thailand do wat?


Disclaimer : I Lafu Singkapoh-lians! I think thats where all the Ahlians originated from. If you think i hate Singkapohlians then dun continue! Others continue under your own risk!

Other Warnings :
  • [1] DONT turn your speaker loud loud!
  • [2] DONT goan luff at Singkapoh-lians after u read/listen to this post
  • [3] DONT luff loud loud alone in opis in front of the monitor looking like a loonatik! Your bosses/coleagues will not know why you luffing lidat wan! Later u kena fired for misconduct/unaccepted behaviour, u dun kam find me!
  • [4] You can let your hand go under the table/desk ...whether your hand is under the table anot you are still a pervert!
  • [5] DONT attempt to eat/drink anything while reading/listening to this post, you might choke n die! If you do ... dont kam find me too! Not unless ... u wanna gimme 4D numbers to buy la!
  • [6] If you dunt understand the Thailand Engrish even after you replay the audio clip 345,687 times ledi dunch email me! I find eat also no time! where got time to fark you?!
  • [7] Requests for the audio clip can be made via email to me, each request will cost you RM389 ....... Hey! its still cheaper than the Proton Perdana V6 maintenance charges ok?!


Years after years Thailand is the preferred destination of Singkapohlians as compared to Malaysia .... and today we gonna find out why.

Singkapoh-lians is very fehmes in Thailand, and there are abundan of them! Got rumors saying if one sign board fall down in parkpong and hit 10 ppl ... 9 of them is Singkapoh-lians!! LOL!

Singakpoh-lians lafu Thailand so much ... so much so they bought their biggest telecommunication company so that those Singkap0h-lians in Thailand can make cheap calls to Singkapoh! .. Hows that?!

Anyway ... there are so much Singkapoh-lians in Thailand till the Thailand Airport have a special announcements section specially created for the arrival of Singapoh-lians one!

The spesel announcement for Singkapoh-lians is so simple yet clearly describing all kinda activities they can do in Thailand and where to go to gedit! No wonder Singkapoh-lians like to go to Thailand la!!!

U dun briff? Me neither .... till i listened to this Audio clip below!!!





KAKAKAKAA!!! Now you briff me ledi anot?!!! Mehnee tenkiu to my Toudai Lisan for sending me this farkingly funny audio clip!!!

*dun be a dumbass ok? i know the above clip is not real one la diu! WTF you expect la? its only Tiusday ok? 3 more days to go!!! ARGHHHH!!!!

28 July 2008

Argue? Vogue? Vague?



Was having tea with Ahbeng yesday nite and was toking kok about some english words .....

Ahbeng : Eh you know i had an arguement with my wife this morning
Me : About what?
Ahbeng : About english lor
Me : KAKAKA!! mch you also know english one ka ?
Ahbeng : Cilaka lu! u dun dog eye see ppl down ok?
Me : hahah solila solila! what u both fighting about la? tell me tell me.
Ahbeng : We argue about the word Vogue lor .... she got this magazine call Vogue and she told me its call Vok and i told her its suppose to be pronounced as Vo-kiu la! She told me if i derno dun pretend to be smart wor!
Me : Then then?
Ahbeng : Then i mai tell her how to spell Argue la! Same like vogue mah! just replace AR with VO only what? She die die also say its Vok instead of Vo-kiu ... she sommo say there is anoder word call Vague but pronounced as Vak instead of Vakiu!
Me : Lidat also u want fight with her?
Ahbeng : Abuden? I know i m right of coz I have to defend myself la!
Me : But but ... u r wrong wor ....
Ahbeng : WHAT??!!! MCH!!! you also say i m wrong??!!! u want die izzit?
Me: Calm down la! I m telling u the truth only!
Ahbeng : Diu u la! u my fwen! u suppose to side me one la!!! MCH!! I m right la! I dun care what u all say! VOGUE is pronounce as VOKIU!!!
Me : Ok lor ... if u say lidat then i award you with a new word lor!
Ahbeng : What new word?
Me : F A R G U E
Ahbeng : Wats that?
Me : According to your dictionary ... it should be pronounced as Far-kiu!!!

KAKAKAKAKA!!! SEE WHAT SEE?! GO BACK TO WORK LA!!! Its only monday ok? FARGUE LA!!!!!!

27 July 2008

Barcamp I m here


I dragged myself outta the bed early today ... I won't even dragged my ass outta the bed early on a sunday morning not even if my houz in on fire but ..... yea but today I did miracle.

Why is that? I wanna goto Barcamp!

what is barcamp all about? I dunno how to tell you but you can goto http://barcamp.my for more infos.

brb ... im in the middle of open source confrence.

23 July 2008

Cuci Mata Wetnessday - No.1 Song in Ahbengz Top Ten list this month!


WARNING :
18SX - Small bois n girls ... go do your homework! Dun read! go play PS2 or PS3 or Wii or PSP or hello kitty or hello puppy or anything as long as u dont read this post can edi! If you die die also wanna read ... then call your mum/dad at work and ask for permission 1st ok?
Oh! and its NSFW too! Got terribly foul language and its no good for hypocrites also! Its not for the Faint hearted neither! Pls do not proceed if you have a weak heart ok?

Note : NSFW means Not Safe From Work .... so, if u kena fire bcoz you read my blog at work ... u dun kam find me ok?


I know this post is super late ... in fact I almost kena call the post Cuci Mata Thursday but life is hard now so gotta put more time, energy and effort into my career or risk being fired and have to stay beneath the overhead bridge. So pulez pardon the delay ok?

Now who said Cuci mata post have to be only piktures? This week we got a spesel rekomendation from Rojaks Entertainment inc. This song has been on the No.1 position of Ahbeng's Top Ten List for the last 6 months and still no one is able to beat it yet!

If you never listen to this song yet then gerenti you kenot kolifai as Ahbeng! So if you are an Ahbengz wannabe then this is a good chance for you to better understand Ahbengz culture.

But if you are under 18 yrs old ... i sincerely hope you will ask your parent's permission before you proceed as I do not wanna be responsible as the one who thot you all this Ahbengz craps but for the rest of you who are alredi more corrupted than i am ... you will only proceed under own risk ok?

Those who are at work ... i strongly rekomen that you go home only open the video, times are bad and losing a job in time lidis is disasterous! So be a good boi/ger and dun open this in the opis ok?

ok heres the regular shit for those who wanna read Cuci MAta post :

Like usual ... Ahbengs n Ahpeks sekalian .... I present to you the Rules and Regulations of reading Cuci Mata Post!! Before you proceed you will agree that you will adhere to the belows rules and regulations.
  • 1. No hands under the desk/table
  • 2. No hands below waist level
  • 3. No goto toilet TFK after reading this post
  • 4. No Weak Heart ... if you got heart attack one pls ask your lokter for permission 1st.
  • 5. Do not take Viagra before viewing this post, Tongkat Ali also kenot! If take ledi dun proceed ... I sked later u lau bei huet!
  • 6. Others proceed under own risk.
  • 7. Dun let your boss catch you staring at lengluis with a boner! You kena fire dun kam find me!
  • DONT LUFF SO LOUD!


Without further ahdooo .. ladies and genitalmen ... i presents to you the no.1 song in Ahbengz top ten chart!!




When you go karaoke dun sing lidis ok? if you kena tnagkap u dun tell them u learn from here wan! LOL!

21 July 2008

Oi I waiting for you upstairs! Why You TFK here??!!!

One sunny morning ... there is this wife/gf did something to stimulate his bf/hubby mia small brader, then the bf/hubby wakes up and walks out of the room. The wife/gf thot he go get domdom la ... so she waits patiently for him to return.

Mana tau wait har wait har ... that fler still notchet return so the wife/gf get out of the room to look for him la!

Skali the wife/gf found him doing something at the living room that makes her so tulan!!!! What izzit hes doing? kakakaka! You watch yourself and tell me la!



KAKAKAKAKAA!!! What da fark are you thinking la??!!!

Its only Monday ok? Stop dliming and go bek to work la!!! 4 more days to go NIAHMA!!! ARGGHHH!!!!

16 July 2008

Who Won The Debate? Heres the Obvious Answer!!!

Who won? Actually who I am to judge la? I m not latuk or Tan Suli ... I m just a commoner who "watched" the debate (not live one ok? i watched thru yout ube also) and since we all is also commoner so why dont you be the judge yourself?

Here is 2 piktures i took from the debate ... u see it and judge for yourself ...


Niahma! this old man still can camwhore sommo!! He camwhore with the fehmes "Victory" sign sial! LOL



.................sweat_01.1


Your verdict? Who won la?

Fuel Price Debate - Who You Bet On?

Honestly I m unable to make it home on time to watch THE debate and fortunately ... something as big as this will definitely be available on YouTube. Thru PaulTan's blog i found this video of the debate.

Its only 9minutes+ which is almost 20% of the whole 60 minutes debate. Just in this 10 minutes clip you can see that its obvious enuff who is making sense and who is not ...




I dont think by saying "bahawa, bahawa and bahawa" (mark 7:11 - 7:20) OR "Pada waktu itu, pada waktu itu, pada waktu itu" (mark 8:52 - 9:47) repeatedly over and over again will make you look any smarter nor will help you make any sense la! You are like babbling la ...

Preaching about what happened in Arab in 1974 (mark 7:42-8:20) and elaborating this issue also wont help either, we dont wanna know why or how Petronas is made! we wanna know how da fark you going to solve our shit and gives us better life la! WTF you merepek la?! diu!

Ppl ask you to debate about fuel price .. you goan dig your opponent mia history and tell us for wat? that one we alredi know ok? tell us something we dunno wan la! Like do you pay for petrol or u get it free wan? diu!

Here is part 2 mia video :



Please pay attention at nark 1:48-1:52 ... beri terus kepada rakyat LMAO!!! YEA RITE!

Part 3 :



In part 3 mia video ... ppl asked him wtf hes gonna do with the 13bils saved since the last 4.3bils saved also burnt just lidat oni ... he goan tok labish till venezuela for what fark? kakakaka u think this guy is high or what ar?

Part 4,5 & 6 :








Quote of the day : Pada waktu itu, pada waktu itu, pada waktu itu. MCH!! i dun wanna know pada waktu itu ok? I wanna know about waktu ini apa lu mau buat!!!

15 July 2008

Kopitiam Blowater - Blame Yo Mader la!!










Where i been? Wantan mee is RM4.50!!! Chikin lice is RM4.50!!! Teh ais is RM1.60!!! Petrol is RM2.70!!! Where can i go??!! Working my ass off trying to survive la!!!

Blame my kok la!!! MATHAR FATHAR!!!

10 July 2008

Lengmou Thursday - Chinese Culture Diu-ing 101

Today Lengmou thursday is gonna take a look at one of our chinese culture and how far it evolved currently.

The culture I m toking about is Cursing or the mastery of the word "Diu" it seems that whoever can master this word well will earn greatest respect in the Ahbengs clan.

For those who derno how this works ... well you in luck as we prepare a tutorial video to teach you the basic of Diu-ing (of coz the video is in cantonese la! its a chinese culture la! wtf you expecting?! DIU! LOL!)

Heres the simple tutorial .... observe and learn ok?



Now that you learnt the basic of Diu-ing, lets look at the evolution of DIU-ing and what it evolved to in this era. How well is this culture holding as we are guzzing thru changes after changes in this fast paced cybernation?

Well ... this below video tells it all man! OH ... dun say i dun warn you ok? .... turn down your speaker and dont eat/drink anything, dont laugh so loud either! Later die choking or got fired dun blame me ok?



By the way .... no grandma is hurt in the making of the story ... and pls dont do this to your grandma ok? the lady above is a trained professional!!!

There is this Q asked by one of the fler .... You think the grandma is high on grass anot?

MATHER FATHER LU LA!!!

LMAO!!!

P.S. Many thanks to MVX for the video links

9 July 2008

Cuci Mata WETnesday - Pheeweettt Frensters Lengluis!!


Got this from forwarded email, looks like some is too free/nice to go around frendster collecting piktures of Lengluis from Malaysia and compiling them up and send to everyone! But also thanks to him you guys got Cuci mata post to see today la! If not you all can bekam vegetarian today coz i farking sick like a dog liow! Enjoy la!


Like usual ... Ahbengs n Ahpeks sekalian .... I present to you the Rules and Regulations of reading Cuci Mata Post!! Before you proceed you will agree that you will adhere to the belows rules and regulations.
  • 1. No hands under the desk/table
  • 2. No hands below waist level
  • 3. No goto toilet TFK after reading this post
  • 4. No Weak Heart ... if you got heart attack one pls ask your lokter for permission 1st.
  • 5. Do not take Viagra before viewing this post, Tongkat Ali also kenot! If take ledi dun proceed ... I sked later u lau bei huet!
  • 6. Others proceed under own risk.
  • 7. Dun let your boss catch you staring at lengluis with a boner! You kena fire dun kam find me!


















Now only I know malaysia got so many lengluis one! Last time ppl tell me our malaysia fehmes for the most lenglui per sq meter i dunch briff ... now i m a BRIFFVER!!!!

Are you a Briffver yet?

8 July 2008

What is Subsidy?


While i m busy being sick n all ... here is Something for your to pounder on. The so called concept of fuel subsidy if according to this email i got from my "angmoh-celup" frend is actually non-existant, its just a term someone create to fark us up oni ... How true izzit? You read and judge for yourself la!


A man called Ahbeng owns a farm which can produce 10 apples every day.

He has 5 workers to operate the farm.

Each of them eats 1 apple daily and it is enough to keep them operating the farm normally.

The remaining 4 apples, the landlord sells them at RM10 each and he earns RM40.

He uses the RM25 to improve the farm operation and facilities.

He gives RM2.00 to each of his workers and he keeps the remaining RM5.00 as profit.

Day by day, the farm is well developed and all of the 5 workers are happy with the money they can save.

When Ahbeng passed away and there is a new landlord, Ahmad comes to continue the farm operation.

He says to the workers:" We need to improve the farm quality and redefine our way of thinking.

From now on all of you only need to pay RM1.00 for each apple you eat. It is very cheap as the price is RM10 each outside the farm."

The workers have no choice but to pay RM1.00 for the apple they eat daily. Their earning decrease from RM2.00 to M1.00 per person.

As usual, Ahmad sells the 4 apples and he gets RM40. He uses RM25 for farm improvement and pays RM10 to his 5 workers. He gets RM5.00 as profit. On top of that, he gets another RM5.00 from the apples that he sells to his workers. In total, he gets RM10 as profit every day.

Soon, the apple price increases to RM20 each. The new landlord gets a higher profit as he gets RM80 for the 4 apples he sells daily.

Then, he decides to give the farming improvement contract to one of his close friend, Sam. Sam says:"Apple cost naik, improvement cost also misti naik."

So, the farm improvement cost increases from RM25 to RM50. In actual fact, the improvement only cost RM30. The remaining RM20, Ahmad and Sam share evenly among themselves.

Let's calculate how much Ahmad gets daily:

RM10 (from farm improvement cost)
RM20 (Net profit by selling 4 apples: [Gross profit, RM80] - [Improvement
cost, RM50] - [Wages RM10] = RM20)
RM5 (from selling apples to his workers)

In total, Ahmad gets RM35 daily compare to RM10 initially when he takes over
the farm from Ahbeng.

His profit increases RM25 and the workers are still getting RM1.00 daily per
person.

The greedy Ahmad does not want to stop there.

One day, he says to his fellow workers:" You see ah, the current market price for one apple is RM20 and you are only paying RM1.

See how lucky you are! I have to SUBSIDY RM19.00 for each of the apple you buy and total I need to SUBSIDY RM95.00.

This will greatly burden the farm and we might get bankrupt if we continue like this.

In order to avoid bankruptcy, I need to increase the apple price that you buy from RM1.00 to RM1.50 and I will bear the remaining RM18.50 per apple as my subsidy to you all. "

So, greedy Ahmad adds RM2.50 to his current profit and the number becomes RM37.50.

After you have read the story, I am sure you have already understood the meaning/concept of "SUBSIDY" given by the "U-no-hu"

The RM95 subsidy never existed in the first place and so was the RM52 billion fuel subsidy generously "given" by the "U-no-hu".

Cutting fuel subsidy is actually just a reason to steal money from your pocket.




Here is anoder simple-er example on how this subsilly shit works ... got this from Ahuei's brog

Ahmad is a fisherman. He sells a fish to you at $10 which is below the market value of $15.

Let's assume that he caught the fish from the abundance of the sea at little or no cost. Ahmad claims that since the market value of the fish is $15 and he sold you the fish for $10, he had subsidised you $5 and therefore made a loss of $5.

Question :
Did Ahmad actually make a profit of $10 or loss of $5 which he claimed is the subsidy?

Answer:
Ahmad makes a profit of $10 which is the difference of the selling price ($10) minus the cost price ($0 since the fish was caught from the abundance of the sea). There is no subsidy as claimed by Ahmad.


So ... who got farkED now?

4 July 2008

Kopitiam Blowater - Cheap SD and Dont Kill Snakes!!!

So ... Whats hot in kopitiams?


















So ... back to the question ... when given a choice between Snake and Bala-Super-Meriam ... and you can oni kill one of them .... which wan you wanna weck? ...I dunno bout you but .... I'll take my chances with the snake! LOL!!