25 September 2008

Lengmou Thursday

Other than you ... yea you ... the one who reading this rite now! YOU LA! who else is here ader than you?! now this blog no ppl read liow so left u oni!

Btw if you were asking why i blog so less now compares to afew years ago? The answer is ... nowadays the ultimate course of Jokes is our daily newspaper! How to fight them wei?! they so big! so many readers! their website so big! How to fight?!

What? you kenot find jokes in our local newspaper? Sure boh? Kam kam i show u!

Harga minyak turun lagi 10 sen
Sep 24, 08 2:44pm

Kerajaan hari ini mengumumkan penurunan sebanyak 10 sen lagi harga minyak berkuatkuasa esok.

TURUN SEPUH SEN!!! SEPUH SEN YOU KNOW??!!! 10SEN!!! TENSEN! thats equivalent to 1 bijiks of hacks gula gula in KL!!! KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAA!!!! U SAY FUNNY ANOT?!!! so if you pump 50 liters u get 50 bijiks of gula gula hacks free la! KAKAKAKAKA!!!

Damages alredi done la! price of my fav roti canai still RM1.00, wantan meen still RM4.50 ... price of others necessities wont go down anymore, so whats the point you trying to prove ar? Unless our muslim braders can raya with drinking petrol ... i dont think this year Raya gonna be any merrier than last year one! So whats the point of this reduction in petrol price ar?

Then there is lapuk news (I lazy to search for the article in the news la! that time i dem tulan but i plomised myself that i wont blog when i tulan-ing so now i m not tulan anymore i write about this la!) of a pot calling kettle black ... he himself a "pendatang" calling other ppl pendatang just so he can bekam hero! MCH! I think my ancestor was here long before yours la! So whos the "pendatang" now?! MCH play racial issue not ISA one meh? Why he no ISA wan? MCH! Who you kidding now? We all blind one izzit?

And then there is this pikture .. the funniest piktures of the Year!

This pikture kebas from seejeh liulian

It says recession kambing edi (which is suppose to be a farking bad news!) buden why they still dem happe lidat ah? lurking at the piktures i suddenly thot of a line ... its "u guys are so farked! HAHAHAHA!"

With all these jokes on our daily newspaper edi .. no nid read rojaks ledi la!!!

23 September 2008

Guessed not many Ahbengs know about this huh?

Suddenly got mood to blog! so i off my handphone and put my office phone on engage mode and blog! Why am I blogging so little lately? You tried doing the work of 4 peeple and still have time to blog anot b4? Like all poor guy ... i m the victim of bad econ .... and also bad "u know what la!"

You Ahbengs and Ahlians derno how lucky you are to be living in this era! Apart from our sucky politics and economy and the price of food and the price of petrol and the price of everything else is going up like mad but at least you all get to fark all you want!

Last time in old engrand if you wanna fark you kena fill forms and apply 1st, then kena take a number ... go interbiu .... bribe someone then only they give u the lisen to fark!

I presumed that if you get pregnant without the lisen then you will kena jail maybe? So .... if you fark n not get preggy then its ok? AH! now i know where Anwar learn sodomi from! LOL!

Niahma ... hang the sign on the door when having sex wor! KAKAKAKAKA!!! If this is plektis in our era (mean now lar!) then the door sign will be :

"Farking in progress la!... Dont make noise! Later I kenot cum can!"

12 September 2008

New T-Shirt Design for Gym

Yesday got a call from a few buddies to go kopitiam blowater, I so long no invitation to blowater ledi! yea ... i know ... i got pathetic life and no fwens!! even my imaginary fwens left me! thats how pathetic my life is! So if got ppl tell you that u can be popular by blogging .... u can tell them go fly kite la! LOL

Anyway, there is this frend Richard .... I called his house the other day and his wife told me he go gym edi ... so i asked him at kopitiam la ...

Me : Eh that day i called your houz, your wife told me you go gym ledi wor!
Richard : Oh .. that time i on the way to register la!
Me : Which gym you go? best anot? how much? got chicks anot?
Richard : I changed my mind last minit ... i dint join
Me : Har? What went wrong?
Richard : I actually filled up all the forms ledi u know? then when i reaching for my credit card .... the clerk suddenly asked me to choose the kaler of my FREE Gym Tshirt.
Me : Wats wrong with that? mch ... ppl give u FREE t-shirt also u dun like ka? Free wan u know?! take home n wipe floor also worth it la! You dont have to wear it if you dont like what?
Richard : No la! its not that! U want listen anot wan now?!
Me : ok ok soli soli ... go on ... go on ...
Richard : Then i mai choose t-shirt lor ... i see the got 2 design, both also got print gym name in front the oni different is the behind.
Me : Whats behind?
Richard : just 2 letters oni ...
Me : What letters?
Richard : N.G.
Me : How does that 2 letters stopped you from signing up with the gym?
Richard : I asked the clerk what does N.G! means mah ....
Me : Then what does N.G! means?
Richard : NOT GAY!
Richard : Now u know why i felt so lucky i never pay them yet anot?!

11 September 2008

How to Be a Perfect Wife/Gerpren?

If you wanna Every guy's dream Ahlian/wife, you should learn how to say these (at the appropriate time la!) :

1) I'll swallow it all...I love the taste!
2) Are you sureyou've had enough to drink?
3) I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!
4) Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?
5) That was a great fart! Do another one!
6) I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
7) You're so sexy when you're hungover.
8) I'd rather watch football and drink beerwith you than go shopping.
9) Let's subscribe to playboy.
10) Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
11) Say, let's go to the mall so you can check out women's boobs/asses.
12) I'll be painting the house/fixing the pipes/change the light bulbs.
13) I love it when you play golf on Sundays, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday, too.
14) Honey, our new neighbors 16 year old daughter is sunbathing again, come see!
15) I know it's a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?
16) I'll take the car for an oil change.
17) Your mother is way better than mine.
18) Do me a favor...forget the stupid Valentines day thing and buy yourself some new gadgets.
19) I understand fully...our anniversary comes every year for christ's sake, you go mahjong with the guys, we can always celebrate next year.
20) Oh come on.. what do you say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer and have my friend Bridget over for a threesome!
21) Not the fucking mall again... come on let's go to the pub!
22) Listen, I make enough money for the both of us--why don't you retire and get that nagging golf handicap down to a 7 or 8.
23) You need your sleep ... stop getting up for the baby's night feedings.
24) If I don't get to blow you soon, I swear Iam going to explode!!
25) I signed up for aerobics so that Ican get my ankles behind my ears for you!!

Ahlians, briff me la! if you learnt all the above your .... your boipren/loukung will lafu you deep deep wan!!! no bruff you wan!!

10 September 2008

Cuci Mata WETnesday - Taiboh Angmoh!

I suppose to post some piktures wan ... but sadly .. today blogspot got something farking wrong! totally kenot post piktures! Luckily Zues the kenny jai gimme this taiboh angmoh girl video ... can let u guys gian abit la! better than nothing rite? later u 1 week no tfk then your pipe clogged ledi how?! LOL!

Nah enjoy la!

Izzit me or ....

MCH!!! izzit me or this whole farking blospot got problem?!! i kenot post anyphoto leh!!!! !#$$%&^*^%##$!!!!!

3 September 2008

Cuci Mata Wetnesday - TOO HOT in Miri!!

18SX - Small bois n girls ... go do your homework! Dun read! go play PS2 or PS3 or Wii or PSP or hello kitty or hello puppy or anything as long as u dont read this post can edi! If you die die also wanna read ... then call your mum/dad at work and ask for permission 1st ok?
Oh! and its NSFW too! Got terribly foul language and its no good for hypocrites also! Its not for the Faint hearted neither! Pls do not proceed if you have a weak heart ok?

Note : NSFW means Not Safe From Work .... so, if u kena fire bcoz you read my blog at work ... u dun kam find me ok?

According to my other p0rn pusher, Black Buddha .... this place is in Miri! I neva been to Miri before so i dunno ... Any basket from Miri wanna confirm whether u guys got such a Biao Meis heaven in Miri anot? If got why no share share with me!!! If you dun tell me ... how i wanna go MIRI?!!!

I tell you something ... altho I neva been Miri befoh but ... judging from the way this jiejie is dressing ... i can tell Miri is a very hot place leh!!! Hot place kenot wear too much clothes one! If not will kena fever one geh!

See this waitress jiejie? the behind so windy .... work also can work more efficient lidis!

The waitress jiejie very frendly also ... got posing for your camera tim!

See see?!!! too HOT liow la the weather, front is sweating! thats why kena take out and let wind blow blow abit! if not later armpit smelly der!

This jiejie more cleber! she wear lesser clothes so no nid to have smelly armpit at all!

Looking at this jiejie .... i sardenlee got this urge to drink milk ler ..... jiejieee i want nen nenn~~

Oi! oi!!!1 niahma this ahpek .... what you checking la! That place where got sweating wan!? no nid check la!!!

Wah lau eh .... this jiejie sit the ahpek's lap take pikture wei!!! u got see the ahpek's face anot? that fler like Viagra overdose lidat mia face wei! LOL!!

You see the ahpek anot? He holding tisu getting ready to wipe his nose bleed la! All is the weather fault! Too HOT ledi till can nose bleed wan!

Side view wei!!! Side view can let ppl see the actual size wan!!!! You got see the moutain anot?!!! Like EVEREST!!!! *look for tisu*

Phuiyo ... this ahpek must be veri rich wan! buy so many "lafu" sticker and put on this waitress jiejie .... can hug hug sommo! So HOT ledi still wanna hug meh?! later armpit sweating how?! lol!

This jiejie foinally beh tahan the heat liow! .... what the best way to beat the heat? Go take a shower la!

See see? waitress jiejie is so happy taking shower! Shes very cool ledi now! All wet wet ... but how come its my turn to feel HOT wan now? Who turn off my aircond?!! eh wait ... the aircond is still on wor! Then why so HOT WAN?!!!

WOOO!!! jiejie finish shower ledi lor! Jiejie now very cooling jor ... but everyone else is HOTTER than before leh! HOW?!

I think i want to organise a group *business trip* to Miri la!!! RM1,999.00 suma masuk! Naik Airasia 1st krass flight! Who want join fast fast register!