16 December 2005

Why Do you Wanna Work here ?

Im not in charge of Human Resources Department, but this morning the fler in charge is on emergency leave and there is a lady in the office whois waiting to be interviewed. Since she is already in the office we cant really ask her to come again another day so I ask Natalie to give me her application form, studied it for a few minutes and then I ask Natalie to bring her into my office for the interview.

She came in, sat down and I asked her bout those normal stuffs like, Where you work before, whats your pay like, why you leave, whats your responsibilities in your previous job, where do you wanna go from here etc ...

Then I noticed something abit strange, shes living in Kajang and all her previous employers also in and around Kajang town, why this time she wanna come all the way to Sungai Long to work ? Fearing there is something wrong and also to satisfy my curiousity I asked her this

Me : I noticed that most of your previous job are in and around your home, why is it this time you chosen to travel further to go to work ?
She : So that I can drive
Me : What ??!! Do you have a car ?
She : No, not yet. That is why I want to work abit further than my home so that i can have excuse to purchase a car and gets to drive it to work. I earned enough money to purchase a car but I dont have the purchase it as do not have a need for it yet.
Me : You mean you purposely wanna work in Sungai Long because you wanna own and drive a car ?
She : Yes.
Me : *Foaming at the mouth*

Like this also can !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHH!!!! MCH! this world is fulla weird peeples!!!

*PS: I alredi stuffED her job application form into the paper shredder

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Very Effective Diet Program

Bedah is overweight, she wanna lose weight desperately if she is gonna fit in her sexy dress which she bought for her prom nite which is, one month away. She tried all kinda diet programs but none worked so far, outta idea she went to Doctor Lee for advice. Anyway the below conversation took place :

Bedah : Doc! Doc! help me! I need to lose weight very fast and I only got one month to do so. please help me Doc!!
Doc Lee : Calm down bedah calm down! lemme run some test on you first

*A while later*

Doc : Well Bedah i got good news for you, you body seems to be in perfect conditions. So you can follow my diet program that will guarantee to lose 5 kilo by the end of this month.
Bedah : 5 kilo!!! Doc sure anot ?? please tell me how Doc please!
Doc : Calm down and listen carefully, this diet program is very simple only. All you have to do is to eat like you would normally would for a day then skip for a day, do that alternatively for 14 days and I will see you and access your condition again to see how is your progress ok ?
Bedah : Skip 1 day ??!!! betul ke Doc ?
Doc : *Ya! skip, you know skip ? Which part of skip do you not understand ? If you dunno the meaning of skip, go back and look into the dictionary! *Sigh* no wonder the newspaper is saying our students are totally useless when it comes to english!
Bedah : ok Doc I will be back 14 days later.
*Bedah go home and check the Dictionary for the word skip, after she understand the meaning of the word she proceed with her diet program as per Doc Lee instructions*

*14 Days later ......*

Bedah : Hi Doc! I am back!! and I am so happy!!
Doc : WOW! you looked like you lost more than 5 kilo!!!
Bedah : Yes Doc I lost 20 kilos!!! I am so happy!! your diet program are fantastic!! I must admit its a bit tough in the beginning, especially on the 4th day I thought I am gonna die alredi! but luckily with strong will power I managed to survive the ordeal.
Doc : What happened on the 4th day ? too hungry untill cannot tahan ?
Bedah : no lar not that ... I almost die from the Skipping the whole day!!

*Note : In Kamus English - BM : Skip = Lompat
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

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15 December 2005

You know that Xmas and CNY is around the korner When .......

I arrive into the opis around 11am den i saw everybody lepaking outside instead of working inside the factory. So, i wondering whats happening la skali I was told there is no water bcoz both our water meter kena tibai by some PUKI HAMKAHLING who need extra money to buy ganja, heroin to get high or to buy Xmas present for their kids.

MAHFAHAI HAMKAHLING !!! how much can those sohai make if they sell the water meter to the kedai besi buruk ??!!! MAHCHAUHAI !!!!! I curse/sumpah this puki(s) mati kena langgar lori !!!!!!

Now i kena go make polis repot, then goto PUAS and show them the Polis repot and apply for 2 more new meter and the worst thing is I gotta pay them for it!!! Mahai !!!!!!

Whole block mia water meter gone!

Some even the tap also he whacked! so cant stop the water from dashing out anymore!

Xmas n CNY is around the korner .... our economic situation of the country is still like a pile of shit so be extra cautious of your surrounding. Lotsa ppl are in desperate need of money and they are willing to do lotsa nasty stuffs to get it. Take care!



PUKITIANG!!!!!!
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KennySia and the Gay-ish Cashier

Once upon a time there is a guy call Ahkua who works as cashier, he just got fired by his ex boss and hes sending lotsa application letters looking for a new job. One of the application letter were sent to Kenny . (for this story to works we hafta assume that Kenny is actually a bar owner who got an extra vacancy for a cashier)

Kenny received Ahkua's job application and with the informations provided by Ahkua in his application letter Kenny managed to contact Ahkua's ex boss Maniam, for some cross refrences.

Kenny : Can I speak to Mr Maniam Please ?
Maniam : this is Maniam speaking, whois this and what is this about ?
Kenny : This is Kenny and I would like to check with you bout a ex employee of yours named Ahkua. Hes applying for the position of cashier in my pub, so I thot i check up with ya what is he like ?
Maniam : CIS!! Ahkua ??!!! hes a thief!!! he sapu my money from the cash register and i caught him red handed! he also snake alot in the toilet! I heard from anoder employee of mine, he go toilet peek at peeples pee-pee! He is very the Gay dei !!! I advised against employing him if i were you Mr. Kenny.
Kenny : Tenkiu Mr. Maniam for your valuable advise, I know what to do liow.

The next day Kenny called Ahkua to come for an interview, during the interbiu :

Kenny : Ok la ... I m happy with all your experience as a cashier, I will employ you under these conditions.
Ahkua : Hansem boss, what your condition lerrr ... tell me faster ler ....
Kenny : Ok lidis la ... i called your ex boss and he told me all your bad stuffs, so if you wanna work with me I dont want you to snake inside the toilet and dont ever ever steal money from the cash register!
Ahkua : Eiyer ... I promise you i wont be lidat anymore ler ... when i start work jek hansem boss ?
Kenny : You can start immediately if you wan.
Ahkua : I want I want!!! *winks*
Kenny : Ok ok! now gimme a kiss and get to work.



P.S.: this is oni a joke ler .... Kennysia is not Gay one ok ?!! PLUs stay away pulez!!! LMAO!!

Pikchure courtesy of kennysia.com

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14 December 2005

Announcement !! New Custom Template!!!

WAIT WAIT!! DONT GO!!! You came to the rite place! this is Rojaks! We just finished renovation! How do you like our new blog's layout ? I wanna do a survey I hope to get reader's response to further improve in the future.

1.How ? the new blog design/template sui boh ?
2.Loading time fast anot ?
3.I lengjai anot ?
4.Should I include a Donation Link ?
5.Anyone wanna pay me to link them ?
6.Any lenglui want to advertise their pic here ?
7.Anyone with extra money but dunno where to spent on ?
8.Any ader suggestion(s) ?


Many thanks to Alex taikor for his Blog template design!!! Hes a Pro Web Designer!! if you got any job for him just head to http://www.alexallied.com/ and leave him a message. Tell him Rojaks rekomen wan .. sure he gibe lu kaw kaw discount wan! if he slaughter lu then lu come tell me, i fark him kaw kaw for lu wokeh ??? lol!!