How To Ask A Man To Do Something

To prove that we in Rojaks Daily is not sexist, today we are gonna teach you girls/ahsohs/aunties/madams/grandmas etc.. how to make your man do stuffs for you.

1. First and foremost ...... Make sure the fler is conscious/not drunk when u asking him.

2. If he refused then .... Threaten to crash the hard drive with his porno collection on his computer and line the bird cage with his sports/cars magazines.

3. Or Nag 9 him! but try to be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to two, three hours, max.

4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. Offer to cook him something that you doesn't need to put into microwave wan OR promise to buy him a few porno dvds.

5. If he dont co-operate ..... show him some color byMicrowave-ing his TV/astro remote control on high power for 55 minutes. Rotate 1/4 turn, and microwave again for another 35 minutes.

6.The last and ultimate way on how to ask your man do something for you OR if all the above failed ... then .... Show up naked!

He Bangs!

Got one fler driving behind a container lorry, this container lorry driver is Ahbeng and there is something very strange with Ahbeng. At the trapik light Ahbeng get down from the lorry with a steering lock and walk to the back of the container then bang the container a few times before getting back onto the driver seat.

Being a busy body the Man got down from his car at the next trapik light to ask Ahbeng ..

Man : eh .. hope you dont mind me asking har ...
Ahbeng : Hamik?
Man : What you doing ar? you banging on the container at every trapik light for what?
Ahbeng : SShhhhhh!!!! Dont say so loud!
Man : HAR??!! why?
Ahbeng : My lorry is overload by 10 ton ler ... I carrying 15 ton of chicken, my lorry can carry 10 ton oni....
Man : Then? Why you bang the container?
Ahbeng : I overloading mah! so I thot if I bang on the container then the chicken will sked and they will fly and I wont overload lor!

I ate Ratatouille

No! not the rat! I know when I mentioned Ratatouille you all might think its this rat :


But in actual fact, the correct definition of Ratatouille is this :

Ratatouille (IPA:[rætəˈtui, -ˈtwi]; French pronunciation: [ʁataˈtuj]) is a traditional French Provençal stewed vegetable dish, originating in Nice. The full name of the dish is ratatouille niçoise.

The word Ratatouille comes from "touiller," which means to toss food. Ratatouille originated in the area around present day Nice. It was, originally, a poor farmer's dish, prepared in the summer with fresh summer vegetables. The original Ratatouille Niçoise did not contain eggplant (which would not have been available during the same time period as the other vegetables used). Instead, it used only zucchini (courgettes), tomatoes, green and red peppers (bell peppers), onion, and garlic. The dish known today as Ratatouille adds eggplant (aubergine) to that mixture.

[Source]

And this is how the actual Ratatouille should looks like (more or less la)


Just the other day I was at my mum's place when I saw my Bro cooking, so i walked up to him and asked him :

Me : What you cooking?
Bro : Ratatouille ....
Me : Rata what??!!
Bro : Ratatouille!!! you know the movie we just watched a few days ago? Ratatouille!
Me : MCH!! You beat me to it??!!! How can??!!!

Yea ... me n my bro n my sis ... we all loves to cook and we also love to do experiment on our food, so my bro beat me to it ... but fear not!!!

This is the Ratatouille recipe he got from his personal cookbook (yea we all got our personal cookbook and personal wok and knives etc etc... we belif a cook should have a personal relationship with all his/her tools wan)

This is how Ratatouille should looks like when its done ....

After seing what he came out with ... we had this conversation :

Me : Bro ... you sure this is Ratatouille?
Bro : Sure!!!
Me : It dont looks like the Ratatouille man ....
Bro : You sure?
Me : I think i know what this is!
Bro : What??
Me : Its a new chinese dish!
Bro : Yea rite! if its a chinese dish then whats the name of it?
Me : lapsaptouille (lap-sap-too-ee , garbage dump in canto) becoz it sounded like Ratatouille (rat-a-too-ee) and it actually looks like a garbage dump!
Bro : KAKAKAKAKAKA!!!!

There! I said it! I just named a new chinese dish lapsaptouille (lap-sap-too-ee, pronounced as lap-sap-tui which means garbage dump in canto) .... tell me this below dish dont looks like a lap-sap-too-ee ok?

Ladies and Genitalmen .... I give you the latest chinese dish! Lapsaptouille!!! (lap-sap-too-ee)

Orders open now .... free delivery worldwide!!! To order call 1-800-lapsaptouille now!

Terms and conditions applies.

Must Save Them Rhinos

If you are a regular blogs readers, surely you alredi read about the ongoing most tokabout campaign going on in our blogsphere, its non other than Honda Malaysia & WWF-Malaysia Rhino Rescue Project.

Why I notchet write anything about it? Erm … sometime you gotta come out last to be able to send the message across loud and clear one! Rite boh?

Anyway, before I begin … I wanna ask you all whether you know what is Unicorn anot?

Have you ever seen a Unicorn before? No? You know why you dont have a chance to see them? Because they extinctED! Thats why!


Why they extincted? Because nobody helped to save them la!

We all actually dem lucky ... we are getting a second chance to correct our mistake, the unicorn reincarnated in another form and this time instead of a white colored single horn creature they came back as grey colored single horn beast.

Unicorn is history ledi, now they are called Rhinoceros or Rhinos in short, those we are walking in our jungle are better known as Sumatran Rhinoceros.

Guessed what? Yea ... they too need our help. Same like unicorn, Sumatran Rhinos are in the midst of extinction. According to a reliable source Sumatran Rhinos is one of "the most seriously endangered species of large mammals in the world."

You may wanna ask me ... Why Lidis wan? Why suddenly extinct wan? Lemme tell you why....
Its all human! We! Us! Ourselves! We throw them out of their homes and make golf courses outta them. We also hunt them down for their horn and meat and whatever body parts that can be sold, with less than 300 Sumatran Rhinos left in the this world there arent much left by the end of this year.

They also got very short lifespan (less than 50 yrs oni) and their late breeding age is not helping much either.


At this rate they will be gone in no time. Kaputed! Dissapeared! Vanished! Adios! Asta Lavista Baby! No more Rhinos in our mother land anymore.

Fear Not! Help is here!!!

Realising this fact, Honda is collaborating with WWF, together they came out with a 5 years plan to save the Sumatran Rhinos, its called Honda Malaysia & WWF-Malaysia Rhino Rescue Project and Honda Malaysia also pledged RM5 millions to the conservation funds.

What can we do to help? Help spread the words and help creating awareness among the people you know. If you have a blog you could even put this small button up to help spread the words too!

To get html codes for the above button pulez click HERE

Of course there is more than spread the words, to know what else you could do to help save them Rhinos please visit Honda Malaysia & WWF-Malaysia Rhino Rescue Project website

Spread the words ... Help us Help them Rhinos while they are still around!

[Photos courtesy of WWF and Honda]

Speeding Ghost

Two Ahbengs men were sitting out on a back road visiting. All at once there was a tapping on the window.

"Ah Hoh!" "Hey guy!" "I think there is a ghost tapping on the window!"

Sure enough a wizened face with long flowing white hair was there just out side the window.

The Ahbeng driving shoved his foot down on the gas and immediately was doing 60 miles and hour.

"Step on it!" "He's still out there!" And sure enough, there was another tapping at the window.

The driver shoved his foot to the floor again! This time he was doing ninety (90) miles an hour.

Still the ghostly figure tapped on the window.

"You better giver 'er some more gas!" "He's still out there."

"I can't go any faster, I've got her up to 120 miles an hour.

About that time the little old man motioned for the passenger to roll the window down, which he did.

"Say Boys!" "I was wanting to know, do you need a shove to get out of this mud hole?"