Ahpek kena conned!!

One day Lilian, a sexy and attractive woman went up to the bar in one of the pubs in a very ulu town and called out to the barman, "Kor kor jai~~~~~~"

The barman, Ahpek got so excited when Lilian called him so he faster faster went over to Lilian. When he arrived, Lilian "hiao-ly" signalled Ahpek to bring his face closed to hers. Lilian then gently caressed his full and bushy beard.

"Lengjai~~~ you manager here har?" Asked Lilian.

"no ler ... manager not here ... hamisu?" Ahpek said.

"Can you get him for me? I need to tok to him la" Lilian said while running her hands up beyond Ahpek 's beard to his hair.

"Kenot ler ... he go home ledi" Replied Ahpek who was damn blardee stim ledi. "What can I do for you jek?" He then asked.

"Yes my dear.. I need you to give him a message" Lilian continued sexily, popping a couple of her fingers into Ahpek's mouth allowing Ahpek to suck them gently.

"Wat.. Wat.. Wat do you want me to tell him leng lui?"

"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room"

HAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

The Other Side of the River

Once upon a time there is 2 Ahbengs going out for a walk by the river, 1 Ahbeng is call Pisang and anoder fler is call Kahw33 (dun ask me why they got funny name ler .... they are Ahbeng mah remembered??)

Then come to 1 point of time where Pisang saw Kahw33 on the opposite side of the river, so Pisang also call out to his ahbeng frend Kahw33 la!



Pisang : Kahw33 !!! Kahw33 !!!
Kahw33 : oi Pisang Hamisu ?
Pisang : Kitaro? (no! not the musician la! this kitaro is hokkien means where u going)
Kahw33 : Go dinner la! u want follow anot?
Pisang : Want want!

Pisang then look around and cant seems to able to find a way to the other side of the river. He then ask Kahw33

Pisang : Oi Kahw33 ! how do i get to the other side of the river??
Kahw33 : KNN!!! what question you asking la?! you are alredy on the other side of the river ledi what ??!!

Berjasa Untuk Negara but Negara Tarak Remember!

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This is a bloody rant, this is where i express all my disastisfactions towards the system and the whole thing that evolves around it!

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Was in IJN (Institut Jantung Negara today) bringing my oldman for his scheduled visit to the cardiologist. Our Cardiologist are a very nice doctor, he took the trouble to explain to us what our options are and how we should go about things.

He even direct us to the proper channel to get some kinda aid to reduce the cost of the whole triple bypass operation.

We were sent to the admission and we met a nice lady there, the lady also explains to use that we are not gomen servant and we are not entitled to any spesel discount.

Then I told the lady, my dad received a medal from Tunku Abdul Rahman before for his contribution towards the society during his younger days ... doesnt that counts as anything? Wont that be taken into consideration to reduce his operation cost?

The lady very nicely told me that the medal is of no use .... unless my dad can show him his pencen card or else there is nothing she can do to help him. She did suggest we go thru this tabung something but she warn us that the whole thing would take ages. The only problem is my oldman could not wait that long .....

My oldman and his Pingat Peringatan Malaysia

So, from that answer itself I could presume that even tho you "Berjasa untuk Negara" but if you are not a gomen servant then "Negara wont remember".

Maybe someone can prove me wrong? I rest my case.

Don't you just love ah lians??

Lian Huay is a freaking rich but dumb dumb ah lian who is studying in an ah moh country. She is sexy and drives a nice red sport car.

One day, while she was speeding on the road as usual, she was asked to stop aside by a police officer.

police officer (po): I pulled you over coz u were speeding miss. Can I have your license please?

Lian Huay (LH): *Hand over her license to the police officer* Nah..

po: Now may I see your registration?

LH: Regis-tra-tion?? What's that?

po: It's usually in your glove compartment.
After some fumbling, Lian Huay found the registration.

po: Give me a minute miss. I'll be back.

The police officer then got back to his car and phoned into the dispatch to run a check on Lian Huay's license and registration.

The dispatcher then sensed something familiar from the informations that the police officer gave. He then asked the police officer, "Is this Lian Huay a sexy asian girl who drives a red sport car?"

"Yes.." Replied the police officer.

The dispatcher then told the police officer, "Now.. you go back to her.. give her all the stuff back.. and drop your pants.."

The police officer then got back to Lian Huay. He gave back the license and registration back to Lian Huay and drop his pants.

Lian Huay looked at his kkc and sighed.. "Huh.. yao mou kao chorrrrr!! Not another breathalyzer!!!!!!!!!!"

Your Real Name is not Ahpek Right?

One day a fler goto Doc's clinic complaining that his body hurts badly. So the nurse ask him to register la and he registered his name as Ahpek.

Soon it is his turn to see the Doc liow .... he went in and take a seat, then Doc asked him :

Doc : Yes sir, what seems to be wrong with you ?
Ahpek : Err ... Doc , my whole body pain lar
Doc : Where pain ?
Ahpek : Everywhere!
Doc : Kanneh how can everywhere pain wan??
Ahpek : wherever i touch also pain! I tfk also pain!
Doc : knot be u show me I wanna see!

The fler stand up and touched his own balls and screamed in pain ... he then touch his face and scream pain then he touch his knee he also scream pain then he touch his left ear he also scream pain sommo ....

Doc : Ok ok you can sit down now ...
Ahpek : So Doc , whats my problem? serious anot wan?
Doc : Quite serious also ....
Ahpek : aahh!!! got cure anot wan??!!
Doc : that depends la ...
Ahpek : depends on what Doc ?
Doc : Depends on whether u will answer my next question honestly anot la ....
Ahpek : I will! i swear I will!
Doc : Your real name is not Ahpek are you? your real name is Ahbeng ngam anot?!
Ahpek : wuah Doc .... How you know wan?
Doc : Bcoz only Ahbeng would thot his whole body also hurt instead of he got a broken finger la!

Ahbeng's Broken Finger

WUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

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