30 April 2009

Krispy Kreme Promise

What is the Krispy Kreme Promise? I read ledi also derno what they trying to say lol .... nope ... they no plomise u that they will refund your money if you dun like taste ..... or did they? lol!

29 April 2009

Cuci Mata Wednesday with Jess

I keep getting messages from Ahbengs fwens asking me why no more cuci mata post one? Got la got la! just this time i wanna change the format ledi jek! I wanna taruk the pikchers that i took myself la instead of ripping it from somewhere else. This is to show that Ahbeng also can take pikchers one ok! lol!

This is Part 1 oni .... my first proper Portrait shoot with a model, Her name is Jess n she got a pair of freaking long legs one! (that legs part u will get to see in Part 2 next week lol) this week let u all warm up warm up first ... i sked if too sexy u all will laubeihuet n die lol!

I know u all dem kancheong la ... i also not free to type so much bcoz i got tonnes of work i havent do yet! U all slow slow enjoy the pikchers la!!!

Feel free to komen ok? tenkiu bery mach!

Cuci Mata wednesday Part 2 Kambing next week!

28 April 2009

The Great Escapade

Dun say i no tell lu ah! I just found out that MAS is giving away air tickets to local n over the sea destination in their latest contest for brogger! Who no join who LUGILA!! For more infos go HERE la!

This is my entry to the contest lor .. dun say i got leng yea never tell u all ah!

If u got read my previous post, you will know i just recently went to Bangkok with 2 others Ahbengs and the trip was a Bang! We travelled in style, stayed 5 stars hotels and eat expensip food ... but there is a consequences one you see .... as a married man you kenot enjoy yourself too much one or else your wife would be jeles!!

Yea ... my missus got jeles ... she also demand for a travel in style vacation for her and our son! Oumaikot!!! What i gotten myself into this time?! Its time lidis you thank god bcoz u have an ahbeng fwen who work as a travel conmsultant wan. I fast fast call Ahbeng Thomas and ask him to kaisiu me some travel in style package that would not burnt my entire wallet including my pocket wan la.

Me : harrow Ahbeng! i m dip sheet now wei!
Thomas : wat happened?
Me : Its all your fault la! Our Bangkok trip tp the travel in style now i kambek ledi my wife also want anoder travel in style vacation la!
Thomas : kakakakaka!!
Me : Niahma luff what luff? U fast fast kam out with a super cheap travel in style package for the 3 of us or else i hire some banglas go burn 9 your opis!!!
Thomas : Niahma want burn my opis meh? U dem lucky! I got just the solution for lu la!
Me : Keep toking .... ayam listening ....
Thomas : I just received an email MAS now got new promo!!! Got 9 stimulus program to kasi u stimulate kaw kaw till your brader can stand long long!
Me : Yau mou?!!! u bruff 9 me i burn 9 your opis ah!!!
Thomas : No bruff you wan! u sindiri go their website n see la! Got buy 1 get 1 free promo also wei! U kamtim the air tickets and i kautim the hotels for you la! lengmou?
Me : ok ok i go Mas website n see ... if u bruff 9 me ... u better increase the fire insuran to your opis ok?
Thomas : mch ... can u be abit less violent anot?
Me : U want move new opis anot?
Thomas : ok ok soli soli .. u is not violent at all ... u also very hansem .... pliz dun burn my opis ... i like my current opis very mach.

Sure enuff .... a visit to the MAS website got one big big new logo lidis one wei!

I then clicked on the above pikchers in the mas website and my screen changed to this :

They gibe me 9 super promo to choose from!!!! not 1 or 2 or 3 it is 9 you know??!!! NINE!!! Simbilan!!! Kau!!!

Due tot he fact that I alredi burnt a hole in my wallet on my Bangkok trip ... my objective ie very clear .... i just want super duper economical air tickets for 3 so that my severely injured wallet (from Bangcock trip) dont die on me yet lol!

I open my eyes big big like hunting for lenglui who is hidden in the middle of aunties crowds at the pasar lidat ....

the first "stimulus package" to catch my attention is this ....

Kids fly free wei! Ngam me la! I buy 2 tickets for me n my missus and then our kid gets to fly free wor! LENG LA! but got one pobem .... this "stim-ulus package" kenot buy online wan ... kena go thru their ticket opis or travel agent one.

I wanted something i can book online one to avoid all the hassle of driving and parking and burning ppl's opis .... so i keep looking and then i saw this

80% off man!!! wah lan eh! pay 20% oni per person if 3 person only pay 60%!! wah lan eh mana mau cari?!!! This one i like man!!! My wallet will be very happy to learn about this man!!! LOL!

Then i keep looking la .. mana tau got a even better one than 80% off rite? look see look see .. i saw this wor!

Grab a deal ... i acherly derno what this is till i clicked onnit and i saw this ....

Oumaikot!!! RM69 oni!!!! So the very cheap!!!! I so the want!!!! My Missus also the want! My Little Devil lagi want!!! My Wallet lagi want leh!!! LENG AH!!! HOU LENG AH!!!

Harrow Mangkali!!! Langkawi here we kam la!!!

24 April 2009

Moscow Robber turned into Sexslave by Female Hairstylist and rapED repeatedly

I know! most of you are here becoz you farking hamsap and got attracted by the title!!! kakaka!!!

Worry not bcoz this is not an April fool joke! This is a real story which happened in Moscow. After this story got published in the Moscow Times ... Moscow suddenly experienced a spike in Hair saloon robberies with the victim requested to be tied up n raped repeatedly!!! kakakakaka!! ok ok i made that up can?

This is the real story ....

This is Viktor the RAPED robber lol!!!

On the 14th March 2009 got one robber named Viktor (who prolly got a big dick) walked into a hair saloon in the Kaluga region town of Meshchovsk with a gun in hand and ordered all of the stylists and clients to hit the floor and toss him their money.

This is Olga ... can someone pls tell me her saloon's address? I wanna rob her too! LOL

Then at this point ... the 28 yrs old female hair stylist by the name of Olga (who know kungfu one) fake fake pretend wanna give him her cash but instead kick 9 his balls and tied him up with the wire of a hair dryer, stuffed 9 his mouth with her smelly socks and drag 9 him into the storeroom. Olga then tell everyone that the police will come later and they should not worry about the robber.

After everyone left the hair saloon .... Olga then go into the storeroom and threatened Viktor that she hand him over to the police if he dont do as she ordered. Viktor have no choice but to give in to her request and let her have her way with him. (WTF!!! lucky basket!!!)

Olga then tied Viktor to the radiator with handcuffs covered in frilly pink bulus .. forced him to eat SEVERAL pieces of VIAGRA and RAPED him many many times in the next 48 hours before she release him. He was as dry as a "squeezed lemon" by the time she is done with him!! Olga also bought a new pair of jeans for Viktor (obviously she tears his current jeans to pieces ledi lol) and she also paid him 1,000 Rubbles for his serbis. (ok ok i m gonna call MAS now and book the 1st available flight to MOSCOW!!!! I LAP MOSCOW DIP DIP!!! Olga here I kam!!! )

It pretty obvious that this Viktor is not a very bright man .... after his release ... Viktor goto hospital to get his dick checked .... apparently Olga was too rough/horny (or prolly too dry LOL!) and Viktor's dick got hurt in the process of repeat heavy duty usage LOL! After the hospital check ... Viktor decided to file a police report against Olga for raping him repeatedly (WTF?!!! What an idiot!!!!)

Viktor's police report

When Olga learnt about the police report done by Viktor, she was freaking angry .... she told reporter "I made his sexual fantasy come true and bought him jeans and even paid him for his service!!!" ... so in the end Olga also made a police report against Viktor for armed robbery.

Olga's Police Report

Looks like they both gonna face jail sentence soon .... now Viktor just have to pray hard so that he wont end up int he same prison as Olga only HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!

If you is a girl n u wanna rape me ..... i plomised lu ... u can rape me repeatedly for 48 hrs non stop ... i will not make police report against you one! Heck you dont even have to buy me new jeans or pay me 1,000 bucks ok?! I'll bring my own spare jeans ok?! KAKAKAKAKAKA!!!

P.S. : do you think Olga is same like our Ahlian also? I do notice alotsa russian chick also call Olga one lol! .... so guys ... if u kena rape repeatedly for 48 hrs ... will u go report police anot? dun be shy la!!! u can tell me!!! i wont tell ppl wan!!! KAKAKAKAKAA!!!

Footnote :
Full story HERE
Photos credit to life.ru

23 April 2009

I woke up to this sms this morning ....

I was still dreaming about my dream girl and then suddenly i was awaken by a sms tone coming from my phone ..... i cursed "who da fark will sms me farking erly in the morning" i get my ass off the bed to check out the sms ... its a sms from Dale and this is what the sms read like ...

Still numbed, blur and half awake i was terribly disturb over this ... Linpeh is my best fwen and this is one piece of freaking bad news. I was dumbfarked for a few minutes sitting by the bedside trying to digest and reread the sms hoping that i read it wrong, i try reading it word by word by it still sound like a piece of freakingly shitty news!!!

I refused to briff this, I called Dale (for like 523,546 times) but he aint picking up my call. Unable to accept the fact I called 9393 to confirm the news, he paniced too ... we then together gether call the whole wide world to make sure this is just a joke and this is not happening.

I constantly keep in touch with 9393 to make sure if he got any news about this whole lnpeh's joke.

Few hours later our hunt is still fruitless .... and feeling hopeless and all i then received another sms from dale that read lidis one ....

I imediately called him back and this time he pick up my call ... his voice abit coarse kinda like ppl just wekap lidat ...

Me : why da fark you no pick up my callss this morning?!
Dale : I m sick la ... i took lotsa medicine and dropped dead.
Me : do you know what you typed in your first sms to me this morning?
Dale : I m sorry dude ... i farking blur i derno what i type .. so soli!

I then fark him kaw kaw and tenkiu him for making my day so sweet .... i then get off the car to go buy strepsils from shell petrol station only to have the female cashier looked at me in a very weird way and said "boss ... your Tshirt u wear terbalik la"

I looked down and OMFG!!! i wearing my tshirt inside out!!!!!! and before this i was at the kopitiam having blekfas sommo!!!! this time really farking malu man!!!!


20 April 2009

Bangkok Vacation - The Flight with MAS

What do you get when u put these 3 peeples

Long Thomas a Top Travel Consultant who just got a fat bonus


Emo Dale an IT Executive who just closed a high profile IT deal in Msia.


Me of coz ..

(soli no pictures la! I know I m a brogger but I really kenot bring it to myself to camwhore ok?!! Macho man don’t camwhore wan can?!!)


ANSWER : You get to plan a trip to Bangkok in just a few days time!!!

It all happened when I made a post about receiving a cheque and needing a holiday then this 2 baskets approached me telling me of their current windfall and how much they ineed of a hornyday too!

We were having this conversation in msn about taking a trip to Bangkok on Monday afternoon

Me : You guys serious wanna go hornyday too?
Dale : Yes!!! So ngam I baru close a big deal … dem stress! Need a break!
Thomas : I owe myself a hornyday long long ledi!!! I been wanting to go since CNY but never been able to find travel partners.
Me : Got people owe themselves hornyday one?!!! Kakaka this is new wei! …. Can u pls owe me hornyday also next time lol!
Dale : oi where u guys wanna go?
Me : May I suggest somewhere not too far? The cheque I received is not really big enuff to go far far ok?
Thomas : near near kalo what about Bangkok?
Me : Bangkok good ah!!! Bangkok cheap n massage heaven!! I buy your suggestion!
Dale : Bangkok I like!!! I want be pampered in Bangkok!
Me : Eh … why u want go Bangkok buy pampers? Your kkc got problem ar?
Dale : Ah diu! Not pampers la!!! Its pampered! Pampered means very song!!
Me : OH! Soli ah! Ahpek derno engrish ma!! I also want pampered in Bangkok also! Lol
Thomas : Ok set la .. we go Bangkok! When u guys wanna go?
Me : err … I tell u 1st … after this weekend I will be fully booked till end of may ledi.
Dale : The project I just closed will start work 3rd week April .. so I got 2 more weeks.
Thomas : ok then the best time is this weekend la!
Me : This weekend? Monday is almost gone … if we leaving Friday then we got left …. 3 days oni. Still can get tickets? I think flight full ledi guah?
Thomas : That one lemme kautim … u guys just make sure u get ready to leave on Friday can ledi
Dale : Wuah u sure anot one ar? U dun bruff us wor!
Thomas : Sure la!! U derno what I do for living one meh? U both just get ready to go la .. other things I kautim! I make sure we all travel in style and get pampers wan!
Me : kakakaka!!! Pampers I dun need la! Give u 2 use la! I still very the powderfool!!!

One day after that ….

Thomas : Oi guys! I kautim the tickets and accommodation ledi … since I plomised you guys that we will be traveling in style I booked MAS and we will be staying in Marriot! Others details to be confirmed later …
Me : WTF? You serious?!! You no shit us one?
Dale : Yalo! Sure anot wan?!
Thomas : Niahma! Tonite we go yum char ok? I give u your tickets and hotel confirmation, just make sure you bring enuff cash to pay me can ledi.
Me : Dale I think he serious one la! U apply leave ledi anot?
Dale : OMFG! I email my boss now ok?
Me : Wuah I also go fill in forms first! See u guys tonite la!

We got our air tickets from Thomas that night, paid him and also discussed in details our itinerary for our trip. Judging from the extensiveness of the trip itinerary ….. that night we all go home a happy man lol!

So kam the day we will embarked on our sexciting trip to freakingly pampers ourselves in Bangkok!

The first thing when we arrived at KLIA airport is to check in (kinda rush bcoz we didn’t actually arrived early) but lucky for us the counter is still open!

All 3 of us were using a different method to check in, Dale used the MAS Web check in system the night before (without telling me got such system one), Thomas used the Self Check in kiosk (Mas got this new DIY check in kiosk at KLIA and this basket show-off to us he dem smart la)

MAS Self Check-in kiosk at KLIA

Thomas checking in at the kiosk

and I used the old method … I go thru the counter lol! Easier mah … no nid type anything leh! And that’s how we all ended up with a different kinda boarding pass lol

Dale and his web check-in boarding pass

Thomas with his Self Check-in kiosk boarding pass

Me with my old skool style boarding pass ... i think mine is the best bcoz got kalers wan!!! lol

Dale and Thomas Q-ing up to check in their luggage

Dale actually got a big head lol

With not much time to spare we fast fast check in our luggage and rush like mad cow to grab our cuppa kopi O kaw and rush into the boarding area …. Of coz along the way we take pictures like mad la! (broggers mah! lol)

Saw a familiar sign when we were boarding the plane .... LSG Skychefs

The moment we got seated in the plane Thomas start to show off his tour-guide talent by asking for stuffs like Pillow and blanket from the frendly air steward .. of coz he also asked for our share also la! Lucky for him! If not me n dale alredi planned to suffocate him later when he fall asleep in the plane lol!

Free pillows!!! (one of us wallop the pillow and put it in his hand carry bag! LOL!) too bad he got no balls to wallap the blanket as well kakakaka!

Nice Thing about flying with MAS is ... they really know how to make u feel like a VIP one!Not long after we got our pillow and blanket .. got this nice & pwetty jiejie come bring us very nice fragrant cold tower for us to refreshen up.

Pwetty MAS jiejie bring cold towel for us leh!

This 2 bargers is using it really enjoyed the cold towel wei! Look at their LUM face! lol

MAS jiejie showing how to use the life jacket

Minutes before the plane take off .... we get to see lengluis MAS jiejie show us how to use the life jacket. izzit me or what ar? I think ladies in uniform dem hawt wan!!! lol!

reflection of the plane fuselage on a jet engine taken moment before the plane took off.

Thomas dozed off in the plane .... looks like hes really enjoying himself la!

I am actually quite glad that Thomas decided to fly with MAS rather than other airline this time ... it was in this plane i get to witness another million dollar smile coming from a very very nice MAS Air stewardess, Ms. Agnes Soh.

Million dollar smile from Agnes Soh... this smile alone already made this trip worth a million bucks!

Service with a smile .. no wonder MAS got another Best Cabin Crew Award this year ... now i know why! Their smile can melts your heart and makes u mellow mellow one! lol

What could be better than a warm meal on a plane? The meal came with a soft roll (my fav!) appetizer, main meal, fruits, dessert and bottomless coffee/tea/orange juice! Free Refills!!! Mana mau cari?!!

My nasi lemak with effing huge succulent prawn in the sambal

Dale is happy as a kindy kid when he found yogurt drink in his meal lol!

This is how fresh fruits looks like 35,000 ft in the sky by the window on an airplane

After stuffing their face both Dale and Thomas dozed off together gether ... armed with my camera (yea they allow u to take piktures in the plane one .... i mean in MAS flight la ..... others flight i derno lol) i left with nothing much to do other than to snap photos out of my window.

thats a long wingz! lol

Time flies while you are having fun .... a look out of the window made me realized that the plane is about to touch down really soon!

Bangkok AYAM HERE!!!

Honestly ... i got abit reluctant to get off the plane ler bcoz the view is really really nice from my seat lol! But we got a hornyday to go to and i still got another chance to enjoy the view on the flight back ... so ready anot Bangkok here I kam!!!